Beyond - Legends If Only I Didn't Cry- K/J Valentine's Day Challenge

Title: If Only I Didn?t Cry
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Star Wars.
Author?s Note: Answer to the Rogue & Goddess Valentine?s Day challenge. I think it kinda fell apart at the end but I?m exhausted and sick but I wanted to post something for the challenge.

~~

Jaina Solo looked up into the night sky, the snow falling around her, coating her hair and peppering her eyelashes and face with the white flakes. She swallowed hard a few times, wrapping her arms around herself. Protecting herself seemed to come naturally, but what was she protecting herself from now? It had only take one misunderstanding, a love letter never meant for her eyes and an accident to make her realize that what she truly wanted in her life was going to be taken from her. She slowly turned and looked through the full length glass doors at the prone figure in the bed, so many surrounding him. Lying motionless, looking near death, Kyp Durron rested, his dark lashes curved against his cheekbones, hiding the dark eyes beneath. Why was she so stupid when it came to him?

Jaina turned fully and walked closer to the door. Tears shimmered in her eyes as she watched his slow and even breathing. ?Please wake up,? she whispered. She sniffled and looked down, her hands moving and burrowing in her pockets. Her eyes closed as her fingers came into contact with the piece of flimsy that had been a catalyst for this. She drew it out of her pocket without thought and began to read it.

Dearest Jaina--

I know I shouldn?t even think about saying these words to you. Perhaps that?s why I?m choosing to put them on this piece of flimsy instead. I don?t know why I feel the need to put the words down, perhaps putting them down will mean that I will begin to move on. That I will stop holding the torch for you that shines ever so bright every day.

I love you, Jaina Solo. I have for so long now that I don?t quite remember when it happened.

There. I said it. It didn?t help. I should have known it wouldn?t. I still want you beside me. I watched you with Jag? I envied him but I could never hate him. Now he is with Tahiri and I see how happy you are at their happiness. Godmother to their son as well. Wonders never cease.

I then watched you with Zekk. Again. I was sure I had lost you then, but? I?m not sure what pulled you apart from each other but he soon found happiness with Danni and you were again alone. But not for long. Never for long.

Now to see you with? him. I don?t know if I can handle it.

It is unfair for me to feel jealous of a man that seems perfect for you. That is a match for you, and yet I feel that man should be me. But it will never be. Never me.

But you knew something was wrong. It?s what brought you to my door. If only I hadn?t cried before I answered the door. If only I didn?t cry for the broken heart I feel every time I see you with him. With anyone not me. I think you hated me when I told you to go away. That I never wanted to see you. The fire in your eyes made me love you even more and yet? you hated me.

After you left I began this letter. I never? I never meant to hurt you? if that is what I truly did. Please forgive me, Jaina. If you ever see this, know that I love you with all that I am.

Forever yours-
Kyp

Jaina swallowed and looked up, tears falling from her eyes. He had hurt her, more than she realized until now. She broke up with Callun moments before seeking out Kyp. She had felt him in pain through the Force and needed to comfort him. She needed to feel his presence. He had no way of knowing what she had done. When he told her to leave and not return? her heart broke and she was so angry. She had spat hateful words at him before spinning on a heel and leaving.

Leia Organa-Solo opened the doors and stepped out to embrace her daughter. They had come together when they heard of Kyp?s accident. After her confrontation with Kyp, Jaina had sought out her mother. Together they had settled into a long talk where Jaina discovered that Leia had hoped her daughter would finally see how much she loved Kyp and he loved her. Sipping ho

 

That was so sad/sweet. I loved the irony of when she came to him, when he started the letter. Despite illness, you did a wonderful job with this challenge. My congratulations.

 

Thanks Ish. Glad you liked it. Trying to get back into the swing of writing again.

~~Jilly

 

I loved this. It had just the right amount of angst and was so sweet at the end and yay for happy endings.

The letter was awesome. I <3 it.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should write more when you're sick! This came out wonderful!

-Mia

 

Great job! I loved the angst and how it all turned out well at the end, Kyp can be smooth at times, I'll give him that.

Again, great job!

 

Awwwww, very sweet! I love sad stories with happy endings!

~Goddess Jaina~

 

Lovely as usual, Jilly Great ending, very sweet

 

Awww, how cute! Glad to see that Kyp woke up. But poor Jaina nearly lost him!

Greta fic.

 

totally sweet
i absolutely loved it

 

Mia: Glad you liked it.

Briman: So glad you liked it. Yes Kyp is a smooth individual.

GoddessJainaSoloFel: Glad you liked it. And I got your PM. I will get those stories to you once I find my disk.

Wes: Thanks hon. Hope to get back into the swing of writing again.

Kazzy: Yeah. I debated if she would or not. I'm in a down mood and tend to sway towards death and heartache when I'm like this.

C3SoloP0:

 

JD this was wonderful while it was sad it ended happily which is good. Glad to see you posting something on the boards. Hope you feel better soon. *hands JD a stuffed Kyp doll* sorry I can't seem to find the real thing anywhere.

Fireyforce

 

Great story, hope you are feeling better.

 

Thank you both, Fireyforce and leandrastar2000. I'm glad you both liked it. I hope I start to feel better too.

~~Jilly

 

Awwwwww! Completely sweet!

 

Awww, I have to agree, this was so angsty to start with but the mush at the end, the fairy tale where they actually get to have a future *sighs contentedly* sooooo sweet!

Nice fic, you captured the swinging emotions very, very well *thumbs up*

 

This was soo sweet!

 

I'm glad everyone liked it. Sorry for not doing individual replies. Getting ready to head out soon.

~~Jilly

 

*innocent whistle then bumps up with hip*

 

That was sweet and sort of dark, Jilly. Very well written as usual, sorry I didn't see this back in February Loved the way you had Leia relate her own experience to her daughter and how she almost lost Han. You always do a good job drawing on that mother/daughter relationship and this one was no exception.

Great post

 

Up

 

Awww....sweet sap. I liked it. Just what I needed after reading "Hello."

Angharad

 

Glad you liked it, Angharad!

 

*bump*

 

*hip bump*