Phx I'm tired of...

i'm tired of being bored and feeling like my life is going no where.... blah.

 

I'm tired of:

people who won't play nicely in the sandbox

People who choose not see the beauty that is inherent in other people

People using other people, without thought or regard to the feelings of others

People who choose to be nasty, rather than being pleasant

People who complain about their lives, and then refuse to do anything about it

Putting time and effort into friendships, and then being ignored.

complacency

negativity

people who choose to find only the negative things in life

There is so much beauty in the world, all that is required, is to look for it.

I was walking one day in Santa Barbara (at one time notorious for the amount of homeless people on the streets), and found a man sitting on a curb, all his possessions gathered around him, stored in plastic bags.

He smelled bad, he wore shabby clothes, he was down on his luck. Or so I thought.

On a whim I spoke to him, and asked him how he was. He replied that he was just fine, with one exception. He was out of money, and needed to buy more charcoal to draw with... Caught up in appearances, I scoffed at this, and called him on it... I said "Yeah, right... you're just looking for a handout to get drunk on..."

He looked at me, as if regarding some vile piece of trash... He then showed me that all (except a change of clothes) his possessions were drawings, and sketches... and paint and other art supplies...

I wept, for the skill of this man, should have had him in fine clothes, and his works in museums. I have been told that I have exquisite taste in art, and was dumbfounded by the depth of soul he showed in his art, and the profound truths illustrated by him.

He told me that he had money once, and a home and many material possessions. He also told me that once he had aquired these many fine things, he began to lose touch with himself, and lost his ability to convey the beauty in life and in people. He sold his house, he sold his things, and chose to live on the street, that he would better be able to perceive the beauty in all things.

I hung my head, and humbly begged his forgiveness, for refusing to see what could be in terms of who and what he was. I took him to an art store, and spent my entire paycheck on getting him stocked up. I asked if I could buy him a good meal, and offered him a chance to clean up. he refused, stating that he had enough, and was happy.

At the time I was working as an EMT, and went on a call about 2 weeks later. He was laying in a gutter, dying. He had been assaulted by another homeless man, who would not believe that he had no money, as he always looked happy and satisfied. We did what we could in the field, and transported him to the hospital... He died en route. He also died, not alone, but with someone who understood him and his choices. I held his hand as he struggled to live. He charged me, almost with his last breath, to always remember to find the beauty in life. His last breath, was used to speak a woman's name, and I have always wondered who it might be to him.

I helped take care of him at the hospital, I felt that I owed him at least that much... An EMT volunteering for morgue prep is unusual enough that it caused some questions to be raised... I told the story of what had happened, and showed them some of the art he had done. I've never seen so many cynics weep at the same time.

Look for the beautiful things in life, look for the good inherent in all people. There are times that you will be disappointed, but by and large, if you are nice to people and expect the best from them, you will get it.

One man changed my life, and the way that I look at things. Don't let another day go by, without appreciating what you have, and what you could have... See the beauty in life.. All you have to do is look.


EDIT: I've not told anyone this story before, it just seemed right to share it now... I'm not sure why... I hope that someone out there will appreciate it.

 

...the I Love thread.

 

Great, Choad, now I'm crying . . . again.

I've worked with the homeless and have many a story . . . even been homeless once myself (I know some have seen where I live now and could probably not fathom homelessness was in my background).

Most of us are just a paycheck away from being on the street. While a part of me is embarassed about the time I was homeless, it changed my life and taught me to appreciate what I have.

Choad, you are beautiful.

 

A lot of said a lot of the one's that I wanted to say but I will repeat them anyway:

I am tired of:

not having the courage and the self confidence to tell her how I feel.

being worried about how she will react.

constantly doubting myself and my abilities and therefore my appeal.

putting myself down, thereby projecting an air of lack of self confidence.

jerks, bad boys who give us nice guys a bad name.

some women who overlook the nice guy for the bad boy and then complain about the lack of nice guys.

More to come later

 

...being the one to make the sacrifice when it all comes down to the end.

 

I'm tired of inefficiency! Just wasted an hour at the pharmacy trying to get wee one's prednisone prescription filled.

AAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!!! She's gonna be on steroids!!! Help!!!! Mom in Distress!!!!!!

 

You and me need to have a talk about that Jada.... I have some experience in that area, & it's not all good

 

Steroids are evil. I'm not allowed on them unless the Natl Guard is willing to watch me 24/7 for 3 or 4 weeks.

 

prednisone bad... side effects are few, but pretty serious is it just the temporary 2 week thing to jump start her into asthma meds?

 

Heh, I took the prednisone horse pills for almost 4 years... as a kid... I had horrible asthma and worse eczema... it sucked.. of course it didn't help that Dad, Mom and Grandma all smoked... bleagh...

I hate cigarette smoke... and smokers...bleagh... the worst part is that they don't realise the effluvia that follows them everywhere... kinda like pig pen from peanuts... just this cloud of smell...

 

edited because i don't need proof that i'm not all that important, but thanks, and because the past is the past and i want to keep it that way.

 

Drama in places where drama does not need to be......

 

Hey, Greedo! It's TF.N . . . We Know Drama!

 

...of everybody (but 1 or 2 people) not listening to me.
...of my rollercoaster life.
...of not having the job I deserve.
...hearing the stories of beautiful women who love A guy with my lifestyle.
...of not being able to find these women.
...the RIAA
...of being told "you need to change!" from my mother.
...of this thread. It has WAY too much sadness, depression & grief.

oops, HAS not WAS
...of my mis-types too

 

i'm tired of being ignored.

i'm tired of the wrong people appreciating me.

 

i'm tired of being ignored.

i'm tired of the wrong people appreciating me.

lol stop stealing my brainwaves!!! tee hee

 

...being afraid of taking risks.
...not having enough money.
...stupid bank not giving me access to my own money.
...a car I don't have enough money to fix.
...liars.
...of people not appreciating the "I'm tired of" thread.

 

...stupid bank not giving me access to my own money.


Don't you hate that?!? Its your money and they give you a limit on how much you can spend every day. If I feel like blowing $10,000 on used cat toys, I should be able to!!!

Wait, I don't have $10,000 and what would I do with $10,000 worth of used cat toys . . . OPPM????

 

I'm tired of being at home instead of in a lab where I belong.
I'm tired of always having the feeling that I'll be 50 by the time I have the experience and/or education to convince people to pay attention to me professionally

 

"I hate cigarette smoke... and smokers...bleagh... the worst part is that they don't realise the effluvia that follows them everywhere... kinda like pig pen from peanuts... just this cloud of smell... "


amen! i am very glad that nearly all of my friends are not smokers, and that i live in a state where smoking in bars and restaurants is no longer permitted. some of my relatives smoked -- i once had to sleep on the floor at their house ...mmmm.. imagine trying to sleep on the smell of a shag carpet of two lifelong smokers.

i'm tired of...
... this headache i have had for the past few weeks.. is it allergy related? maybe.. im not sure, but the allergy medicine doesnt seem to help that much. my brain is unhappy, that much is certain.

... not being content with my job but not having the motivation to get a new one. even the potential threat of layoffs due to budget issues has stirred me into action.

 

i'm tired of...
... this headache i have had for the past few weeks.. is it allergy related? maybe.. im not sure, but the allergy medicine doesnt seem to help that much. my brain is unhappy, that much is certain.

OK, this is not medical advice. I am not licensed to prescribe so sign the waiver of liability first.

I get horrid sinus headaches and have had success with Benedryl Sinus Headache and Aleve Sinus and Cold.

But beware . . . they have a decongestant in them and if you have any heart or blood pressure problems, it can exacerbate it.

 

jawajames, you could give feverfew a try, I take it when I start having trouble with migraines because it helps improve blood flow. It may or may not work for you depending on why you're getting headaches but I find that I like it

 

hmm.. i will look into these medicines...
thanks you two

 

I'm tired of trying to figure out where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do after high school. It's all a confusing mess of universities, careers, and money. Oh, to stay a kid...

Oh yes, and I'm tired of trying to find the money to buy myself a car.