JCC IMDb for Hollywood/Celebrity/Famous sexual predators

Maybe it wasn't obvious to him, but given the information given about how he acted and how she responded, it shows an unsettling lack of awareness of the situation. Which is typical of people, frankly, but the point is it doesn't excuse bad actions. Being a dick- or even harassing or committing some level of assault- doesn't require self-awareness or knowledge. Often it doesn't.

The right thing to do, the conscientious thing, is to temper your self-confidence in the situation and assume you don't know everything. Then you can communicate to get more information. You do that and you remove most of the ambiguity. This is why explicit consent is so important.

 

Yes, he was absolutely being unaware of the situation. That's not a crime tho, and that doesn't make him a sexual assaulter. You have people now all over the world trying to over analyze this sexual encounter that really shouldn't have been made public like this. Maybe everyone here should have their (probably very few) sexual encounters analyzed like this and see how they look.

 

She was clearly expressing herself. I can't say my sexual encounters have all been perfect, but when my partner starts talking about feeling forced or hating me or repeatedly moving my hand away, I would listen to her and stop.

And that's the thing too. He's not some virgin whose only exposure to sex has been through pornography (assuming that most women like having fingers shoved into their mouths). He's 34 and presumably experienced enough to pick up clear signals sooner. Hell, there is a similar situation in his own show except that his character gets the message. There's a wide gulf between perfect conduct and what happened in that story.

 

Think what would it be like if your imperfect encounters suddenly were overanalyzed by MRAs, SJWs, and regular people on the internet. This is what we're doing here. No one in this thread is a good person for it.

 

I’m surprised a specific word hasn’t come up here that I’ve seen: power. He wanted power over her.

It bears repeating that rape is about power, and that sex itself is as much about power as anything else. It’s something that mutually consenting adults agree to navigate together, even if it’s not thought of that way. It’s what’s happening in every consensual sexual encounter.

 

perhaps he can use this to realize how inappropriate he was being. Maybe he'll be more considerate and understanding for his next date.

"In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual," Ansari wrote in a statement obtained by CNN on Sunday.


Oh, I guess not. She told him not on the first date and his response was "what if I shove more wine down your throats will it count as a second date". He showed no indication of respecting her boundaries at all.

 

I wonder what the prevalence of exactly that scenario is for dates, minus one of the people involved being a minor celebrity. One in 10 dates? One in 20? I'm going to guess extremely high. Let's say that the default stance of a large percentage of men is to gun for penetrative sex on the first date. The project since the sexual revolution has been to get men to understand that everyone has an absolute legal right to shut that down with a "no" at any point. I wouldn't say we're extremely close to "mission accomplished" on that point, but I honestly believe there has been progress. One example of the change from when I was in college is all the training my son received orientation week about consent, the dangers of alcohol relative to consent, the affirmative duty to look out for each other in potentially dangerous situations, etc. Also major changes in investigation and enforcement of sexual assault/rape allegations on college campuses.

I feel that as we get closer to that "mission accomplished" point on consent, it makes perfect sense to move the goalposts to "what constitutes a positive and healthy encounter between two adults vis a vis negotiating the terms of sexual activity?"

I have a problem with the tactic of outing celebrities to serve as an instructive example to the rest of us in this particular goal. Yes, the man's behavior was bad. No, I should not be reading about it online.

 

You're probably underselling it...

http://www.katykatikate.com/2018/01/not-that-bad_15.html

 

How much of what men think of as "seduction" is mostly tedious or uncomfortable or sometimes really unpleasant encounters where women try to fend off the sexual advances of a man and are gradually just worn down by the effort until they "consent" to sex just to make the whole process be over. Hopefully less now than 30 years ago. But still.

 

As pedestrian as it can get, it all helps. You don't have to read it. I didn't. But in this discussion, as many as possible must have a voice. That's the way to progress as a society. If it's only a hashtag, little will change. And if we're to hear from everybody, who do you hear from first, and the most? Celebrities. Because they're the focus of our society. Which may constitute a separate problem, and a separate discussion.

 

Well the problem here is that we have someone's very private sexual encounter being aired for the world to see and over analyze.

 

Staggering lack of imagination...

http://metro.co.uk/2018/01/10/app-c...ne-night-stands-prove-sex-consensual-7220206/

 

That's been happening since Jerry Springer. Next week we'll be talking about something else.

 

Generally on Jerry Springer all sides are okay with details being aired. As the Atlantic article said, this is basically revenge porn from a woman who didn't like the sex she had.

 

Seal.

 

I like this.

 

True, but I think vulture media and the privacy of celebrities are also separate issues. Don't you think?

 

No, because I think revenge porn is relevant to the topic of consent.

 

Man, all those quotes look ugly on the new forum.

It comes with the territory, Viv. If we're going to have this conversation, we're also going to have fringe elements. Best not to focus on it too much.

 

Excessively long quote chains were always annoying, which is why doing it on purpose became a running joke. And now you ruined it.

 

Juliet beat you to that three pages ago:

 

His eyes became large and the light that she shined can be seen.

 

Oh.

 

Well, the Walrus was a famous assaulter too, not sure about sexually...