JCC IMDB Parental Guide? HELL. YES.

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rogue_Ten, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    i cant believe ive never noticed this feature before, its amazing. there used to be some ozk-wannabe who did hilarious reviews of movies that usually concluded with "you will go to hell if you watch this movie that i just watched" and while that site was hella funny, (unfortunately i cant remember what it was called or id link to it), the imdb parental guide format is hilarious for an entirely different reason: they list off, deadpan and in no particular order, all the acts and images that might be considered questionable for children in the film. for instance, i present 21 jump street

    in the sex and nudity category:

    in the violence and gore section:

    the entire profanity section:

    in the alcohol and drugs section i like that this was the extent of the description of the scene in question, given the detail given to the violence described above:

    and for some reason they boiled all that down to a "frightening/intense scenes" section, depicted here in its entirety:

    and all this is given a weighted score out of 50 somehow. 21 jump street got a 34. for contrast, pulp fiction and caligula both scored a 40. gentlepersons, let's find us a 50!

    EDIT: haha someone gave salo a sub-rating of "666/10" for frightening/intense category, leading to an overall ranking of 701/50. looks like a serbian film got the coveted perfect score tho
    Last edited by Rogue_Ten, Dec 8, 2012
  2. anakinfansince1983 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2011
    star 7
    Don't let your kids see anything more violent or frightening than Sesame Street or old re-runs of Full House.

    Seeing a character puke might warp their brains.
  3. DantheJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2009
    star 5
    There's also the Keywords feature, which lets you look up what certain films have by plot keywords, like severed heads, masturbation, upskirt shots, etc.
    Rogue_Ten likes this.
  4. AaylaSecurOWNED Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 6
    Screen It has been doing this for years, but it looks like they're a paid service now, so IMDB swooped in to provide it for free.

    I do have to say that although at first blush things like warning parents for vomiting seems hugely puritanical, it's actually pretty valuable to have a list of all the potentially upsetting things that occur in a movie not just for parents to shelter their kids, but for people who have really sensitive stomachs or psychological triggers or whatever. Every once in a while a movie will sneak a scene on me that I would have liked to be warned about ahead of time, and I'm emotionally pretty stable. There's a lot of worth for people who can't easily handle mere references to rape or eating disorders or jokes about war violence - for example - to be able to either avoid or know going into a movie that they should be prepared for those things.

    Also after having to sit through the sex toy chair scene in Burn After Reading while sitting between my parents, I used to use Screen It to check whether to go see certain movies with my parents or decline their invitation and go with friends instead.
    Last edited by AaylaSecurOWNED, Dec 8, 2012
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  5. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    yeah dani i think that might have been ozk-wannabe guy i was thinking of. too bad its behind a pay wall now, i loved that ****

    ....

    ........

    ..............

    DAN THE JEDI!!
    Last edited by Rogue_Ten, Dec 8, 2012
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  6. AaylaSecurOWNED Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 6
    You're doing it wrong. It's

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  7. Boba_Fett_2001 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2000
    star 8
    Gran Torino

    Last edited by Boba_Fett_2001, Dec 8, 2012
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  8. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
  9. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    This will be helpful when the wife and I have to help the kids choose between "Saw V" and "Hostel 2" for family movie night.

    Hostel 2 only got 3/10 on alcohol/drug use, so we're going with that.
    Last edited by Jabbadabbado, Dec 8, 2012
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  10. Jabba-wocky Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2003
    star 8
    I had a nightmare about seeing a man vomit only two evenings ago, thank you.
  11. Todd the Jedi Mod and Sitcom Dad of SWTV

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2008
    star 5
    Wow. Under Violence & Gore:
    Note, this entire section is spoiler blocked, as if simply reading the descriptions will corrupt your mind.
  12. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    This might be useful if I were to watch something with my family, so I can avoid awkward scenes followed by awkward silence in the room.
  13. AaylaSecurOWNED Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2005
    star 6
    What's your profession again?
  14. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    was it me?
  15. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    these are valid points i hadnt considered. i still find the matter-of-fact listing of potential offenses to be a little hilarious. almost as hilarious as the old evangelical weirdo i remember doing reviews (i think it might have been someone else, does screen it have a strong religious undertone?)
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  16. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    There was this one Christian film review site that I think was called Child Action Program or something along those lines. It was really hilarious to read because the reviewer sounded so angry about everything. He/she/it gave The Polar Express an "F" because he/she/it claimed that it "promoted running away from home to worship a Satan-like entity".
    MrZAP likes this.
  17. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    YES yes.... that was it. you are now my favorite poster

    yesssss yesssssss breaking dawn 2 electric boogareview

  18. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Oh good God that site is still running? With the same format as I remember it when I last went on in '04?
    [face_hypnotized]
  19. GrandAdmiralJello Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    ...that is kind of amazing. I feel like I should do that.

    As it stands, I pre-screen movies before I watch them with my parents.

    The exception being when I saw Lincoln but I didn't expect any sex in that one.... it's not on HBO, after all.
    Last edited by GrandAdmiralJello, Dec 8, 2012
  20. anakinfansince1983 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2011
    star 7
    I hadn't considered those points either. My parents were the opposite, they freaked out at the idea of my being exposed to, well, anything, and I came at this from that end.
  21. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    ahahaha... hahaha oh my god lmao
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  22. Point Given Mod of Literature and Community

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Dec 12, 2006
    star 5
  23. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
  24. DantheJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2009
    star 5
    I remember reading that CAP Alert guy's review for the second X-Men movie, and he was peeved that it promoted the theory of evolution :eek:.

    Somehow, I don't think that guy reads the comics, because that's what they're kinda about.
  25. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 7
    i dont think he cares about fidelity to the source material so much as fidelity to THE LORD, heathen