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JCC IMDB Parental Guide? HELL. YES.

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rogue_Ten, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    i cant believe ive never noticed this feature before, its amazing. there used to be some ozk-wannabe who did hilarious reviews of movies that usually concluded with "you will go to hell if you watch this movie that i just watched" and while that site was hella funny, (unfortunately i cant remember what it was called or id link to it), the imdb parental guide format is hilarious for an entirely different reason: they list off, deadpan and in no particular order, all the acts and images that might be considered questionable for children in the film. for instance, i present 21 jump street

    in the sex and nudity category:

    in the violence and gore section:

    the entire profanity section:

    in the alcohol and drugs section i like that this was the extent of the description of the scene in question, given the detail given to the violence described above:

    and for some reason they boiled all that down to a "frightening/intense scenes" section, depicted here in its entirety:

    and all this is given a weighted score out of 50 somehow. 21 jump street got a 34. for contrast, pulp fiction and caligula both scored a 40. gentlepersons, let's find us a 50!

    EDIT: haha someone gave salo a sub-rating of "666/10" for frightening/intense category, leading to an overall ranking of 701/50. looks like a serbian film got the coveted perfect score tho
     
  2. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Don't let your kids see anything more violent or frightening than Sesame Street or old re-runs of Full House.

    Seeing a character puke might warp their brains.
     
  3. DantheJedi

    DantheJedi Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2009
    There's also the Keywords feature, which lets you look up what certain films have by plot keywords, like severed heads, masturbation, upskirt shots, etc.
     
    Rogue_Ten likes this.
  4. AaylaSecurOWNED

    AaylaSecurOWNED Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    Screen It has been doing this for years, but it looks like they're a paid service now, so IMDB swooped in to provide it for free.

    I do have to say that although at first blush things like warning parents for vomiting seems hugely puritanical, it's actually pretty valuable to have a list of all the potentially upsetting things that occur in a movie not just for parents to shelter their kids, but for people who have really sensitive stomachs or psychological triggers or whatever. Every once in a while a movie will sneak a scene on me that I would have liked to be warned about ahead of time, and I'm emotionally pretty stable. There's a lot of worth for people who can't easily handle mere references to rape or eating disorders or jokes about war violence - for example - to be able to either avoid or know going into a movie that they should be prepared for those things.

    Also after having to sit through the sex toy chair scene in Burn After Reading while sitting between my parents, I used to use Screen It to check whether to go see certain movies with my parents or decline their invitation and go with friends instead.
     
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  5. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    yeah dani i think that might have been ozk-wannabe guy i was thinking of. too bad its behind a pay wall now, i loved that ****

    ....

    ........

    ..............

    DAN THE JEDI!!
     
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  6. AaylaSecurOWNED

    AaylaSecurOWNED Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    You're doing it wrong. It's

    D
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    J
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    D
    I
    I
    N
    D
    A
    H
    O
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    !
    !
    !
     
  7. Boba_Fett_2001

    Boba_Fett_2001 Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2000
    Gran Torino

     
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  8. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    that too
     
  9. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    This will be helpful when the wife and I have to help the kids choose between "Saw V" and "Hostel 2" for family movie night.

    Hostel 2 only got 3/10 on alcohol/drug use, so we're going with that.
     
    RC-1991 likes this.
  10. Jabba-wocky

    Jabba-wocky Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    May 4, 2003
    I had a nightmare about seeing a man vomit only two evenings ago, thank you.
     
  11. Todd the Jedi

    Todd the Jedi Mod and Soliloquist of SWTV star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Oct 16, 2008
    Wow. Under Violence & Gore:
    Note, this entire section is spoiler blocked, as if simply reading the descriptions will corrupt your mind.
     
  12. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    This might be useful if I were to watch something with my family, so I can avoid awkward scenes followed by awkward silence in the room.
     
  13. AaylaSecurOWNED

    AaylaSecurOWNED Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    What's your profession again?
     
  14. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    was it me?
     
  15. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    these are valid points i hadnt considered. i still find the matter-of-fact listing of potential offenses to be a little hilarious. almost as hilarious as the old evangelical weirdo i remember doing reviews (i think it might have been someone else, does screen it have a strong religious undertone?)
     
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  16. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    There was this one Christian film review site that I think was called Child Action Program or something along those lines. It was really hilarious to read because the reviewer sounded so angry about everything. He/she/it gave The Polar Express an "F" because he/she/it claimed that it "promoted running away from home to worship a Satan-like entity".
     
    MrZAP likes this.
  17. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    YES yes.... that was it. you are now my favorite poster

    yesssss yesssssss breaking dawn 2 electric boogareview

     
  18. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Oh good God that site is still running? With the same format as I remember it when I last went on in '04?
    [face_hypnotized]
     
  19. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2000
    ...that is kind of amazing. I feel like I should do that.

    As it stands, I pre-screen movies before I watch them with my parents.

    The exception being when I saw Lincoln but I didn't expect any sex in that one.... it's not on HBO, after all.
     
  20. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    I hadn't considered those points either. My parents were the opposite, they freaked out at the idea of my being exposed to, well, anything, and I came at this from that end.
     
  21. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    ahahaha... hahaha oh my god lmao
     
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  22. Point Given

    Point Given Mod of Literature and Community star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    That banner...
     
  23. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
  24. DantheJedi

    DantheJedi Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2009
    I remember reading that CAP Alert guy's review for the second X-Men movie, and he was peeved that it promoted the theory of evolution :eek:.

    Somehow, I don't think that guy reads the comics, because that's what they're kinda about.
     
  25. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2002
    i dont think he cares about fidelity to the source material so much as fidelity to THE LORD, heathen