ST IMDB user claims leaked screenplay - first pages.

fell asleep after a couple of lines and had the strangest dream resembling the trip to the grocery store earlier today...I woke up hoping and praying that I didn't forget anything because I REALLY don't like food shopping!

 

Man, Abrams is a bad screenwriter! EpVII is gonna suck worse than I thought.

 

I'm interested in the psychology behind fake scripts and fake rumors. Why do people post them? Is it purely to get attention? I just have a hard time understanding why anyone would go through the trouble of doing this.

 

Lol... For a second I thought, maybe... then I saw the weird things like 'Class C world' and 'Wedge from Ep.4' and thought... Wow, this is one bad con job...

 

Class M world is a Star Trek term for Earth-like atmosphere. What in Watto's hat is a freakin' Class C?

 

Good, that is a sign of a sane, intelligent person with better things to do. ;-)

I mean, fan-fic can be a cool hobby that lets one be creative and express themself while exercising the imagination. Go for it.

But this? SMH

 

Don't lose too much sleep over it.

This is a Class Z screenplay.

 

I want to have a crack at writing something even worse. Let's see...

STAR WARS EPISODE VII RETURN OF THE EMPIRE

Text crawl:
It is a period of hopelessness. Luke Skywalker, whose Jedi powers were far and beyond any Jedi who ever lived, except his father the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, now lives in exile, his Jedi past behind him as a Jedi.

With the Empire regaining momentum as a force for oppression, a new Dark Side leader, General Darth Scourge amasses an ARMY OF FEAR to conquer the galaxy and wipe out the Jedi who were trained by Luke before he disappeared and went into exile as a Jedi....
End of crawl.

A glittering sea of stars is in front of us as a ship flies overhead. It is the MILLENNIUM FALCON and it looks the same as in Ep6 except it has a square radar dish. This will blow audiences away because now they won't know what to expect!

CUT TO:
FALCON COCKPIT

Chewie roars.

HAN: I know it's Life Day, pal. But Luke has been missing for 10 years, and I'll be damned if I eat my Star Turkey with ol' Luke by my side.

Chewie roars.

HAN: Yeah, I know we need to meet up with Lumpy. But visiting hours at Stygeon Prison aren't for another five standard hours. Anyway, let's find Luke.

KIRA: Dad, are we there yet?

HAN: Go back to playing holochess with Artoo. And if you speak to your mom, tell her I'm done paying child support. You're 19 for frak sake!

 

This is going to be my new favourite exclamation. What in Watto's jaunty hat are you talking about, man?!

Didn't there used to be a poster here with that handle back in the PT days? Always cracked me up.

 

Luke buying fruit in the opening scene can mean only one thing



















INVASION!!!!

 

STAR WARS EPISODE VII

Shocked at the many unsubstantiated internet rumors,
SuperShadow clones himself in a secret laboratory in
order to take over Pinewood Studios.

Launching from his clandestine headquarters, the vile
rumor mongerer has launched his first assault on the
Star Wars set, masquerading as a black robed cyborg in
an attempt to pervert the minds of fans everywhere.

Fortunately, the British security guards are somewhat
smart, and they shot dead all the clones. But it appears
the egregious fibber spreader escaped yet again, probably
to resurface in Episode VIII....

 

Well, at least there is fruit involved, so it has the Rebels angle covered. Man, this single continuity story group is full of top men. Top men.

 

that script is too good to be fake.

 

Check Guinness Book of World Records. You might have set a record for the most haha's.

 

The lamest opening of any Star Wars movie. Luke in the market buying food!

 

jesus...if you're going to "leak" a fake script, at least have the decency to learn how to write said script...

there are so many fundamental things wrong with it without even considering any of the actual content...which is also garbage

in b4...

 

I know like... where's the power converters?

 

Wow. OK, well I guess there's really no point in going on and on about this... locking.