In Love With Night (AU, Xani/Qui Angst, Drama) **NOTE: 2/4**

*looks at above post*

Why are you my master, again?

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Chapter IV: Braiding

Before the fourth stage could begin, I went back to the Initiate's dorms. As I passed the large meeting room where we all gathered to talk, Shi-Ara intercepted me.

"Xani! Xani, slow down."

I did, turning to look at her, noticing that her hair was in her mouth. I cringed inwardly.

Uh-oh. "Sorry, Shar. You wanted something?"

"You're moving out to Master Qui-Gon's, aren't you?"

I nodded. "Yes. Then I'll get my padawan haircut."

Her eyes widened as she walked with me. "You have the bond already? How's that?"

I grinned. "Weird, but kinda fun." Her lips turned down at the corners as she looked at the floor, and I felt a pang of sadness. Shi-Ara hadn't been picked. "Sorry, Shar."

She shook her head, meeting my eyes again. "Uh-uh. It's okay, Xani. I'm glad you've been picked."she began to chew on her hair.

I said nothing. What could I say? It wasn't my fault I'd been picked. There were others who were in Shi-Ara's place also. I was one of the lucky ones. "You'll get picked next time, I'm sure of it."

She was silent as we reached my room. Opening the door, I went straight to my bed, where all my things were; I'd begun packing the night before. There really wasn't much; Jedi own very little, and Initiates even less. All that I had to take were my clothes, one of my favorite toys, a Confetti Orb, and a couple of holos: one of my parents, which I'd been allowed to keep, and one of Shi-Ara, my friends and I. That was it.

Shi-Ara sat down on my bed as I organized everything together. "I wish you didn't have to go, Xani."

I looked at her. "I know, Shar."

She scowled. "No, you don't. You're happy you're leaving, I know you are."

I bit my lip. I couldn't lie to her. "I am, but that doesn't mean I won't see you."

"Your master will find ways to keep you busy, and you won't have time to come down here to talk like we used to." Her eyes filled with tears. "It's not fair. I don't want to be separated. We never have been. We've been together since we were in the nursery."

I sighed. I should have expected something like this. I was sad at leaving my friends, but I wanted to move on to the next stage in my life. "I'll try to find a way, if I'm not on a mission."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're going on a mission so soon?"

I blinked. "Uh, I hope not! Still, my master is one of the best negotiators in the Order; we're bound to go on a mission sooner rather than later. He's far too valuable." I swelled with pride. It felt so good to say my master.

Shi-Ara chewed ferociously on her hair. "I still wish you weren't leaving. I'm going to work extra hard to be picked, so I can join you. I'll be able to see you more if I'm a padawan like you are." There was a note of hard determination in her voice, which I'd never heard before.

I smiled. "You'll be picked, Shar. I know you will."

Her gray eyes were almost black with resolve as she took the lock of hair out of her mouth. "Yes, I will."

I nodded, and started to pick everything up, but she stopped me, putting a hand on my arm. "I'll still find a way to see you, Xani, until I'm a padawan."

I laughed. "I know you will." I grabbed everything and left the room, not looking back. I was done being an Initiate.

"Is it weird, having him inside your head?"

I was relieved that she was back to normal. "Establishing the bond was kinda scary, but it's nice to have him there. It's very soothing."

"Oh. It didn't hurt, did it?"

"I thought it would, but it didn't. I was so nervous, too, and it wasn't that hard at all."

"I'll be in your shoes soon." She smiled.

I smiled back. "Good."

We reached the turbo lift. Shi-Ara punched in the code for the Master's wing, then turned to me. "I have to go, Xani. I have classes soon." She grimaced. "At least that's one advantage of being a padawan: your schedule revolves around your master."

I laughed again. "That's not al

 

Well worth the wait Padawan.Now I can go to sleep a happy camper!

 

Phew I caught up! Very nice posts JS! The interaction between Xanatos and Qui-Gon is so endearing. It is interesting to see him portrayed as the child that so captured Qui-Gon's heart. Usually we only see him after he has broken that heart. Great job.

 

Very sweet post, Suzuran. I have a feeling Shi-Ara isn't out of this, though.

Please post more!

 

love his reaction wiping his lips off after the kiss. That is soo pre-teen boy

 

Poor Shi-Ara! Doomed love at the age of 11 - and she's got enough problems It's great to see Xani and Qui so happy, and it seems so perfect that I wonder what can possibly go wrong... I guess I'll have to stay and find out

A lovely post!

 

up!

 

I luv Xani in this. His check off in his head is funny. Can't wait for more.

 

Master: Thanks.

Sheila:
The interaction between Xanatos and Qui-Gon is so endearing. It is interesting to see him portrayed as the child that so captured Qui-Gon's heart. Usually we only see him after he has broken that heart.

Thanks. We're still in the happy times, right now.

Cas:
I have a feeling Shi-Ara isn't out of this, though.

Mind reader! She'll be back.

And thanks again for the up.

Marnie:
Poor Shi-Ara! Doomed love at the age of 11 - and she's got enough problems It's great to see Xani and Qui so happy, and it seems so perfect that I wonder what can possibly go wrong... I guess I'll have to stay and find out

Yes, you'll have to find out eventually, and so will I. Shi-Ara will show up, that's for sure.

Jedi_Borme:
I luv Xani in this. His check off in his head is funny. Can't wait for more.

*happy dance*

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Glad you like Xani here.

Post is coming up!

 

Okay, I'll admit, this is utter silliness, but it's best for me and Xani to get it out of the way, considering the more serious stuff I have planned for him.

Tell me if it sucks. I can take it!

If this lowers your IQ points a bit, don't come crying to me!

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Part II: Padawan

Chapter V: First Mission

Mmm, good, I thought, as I stuffed the small greenish-purple canapé into my mouth. They may be boring, but the food's great. I took a sip of the spicy drink I'd been handed by a passing servant, and looked around.

It was a beautiful day. The sprawling, verdant gardens, rich with multi-hued exotic blossoms, was a perfect setting for the outdoor reception to celebrate the conclusion of the land agreement. The sky was so blue, it hurt my eyes, and the array of food was amazing, and decadently delicious. It was a perfect first mission for me. Wonder if they'll all be like this. Hope so.

/Don't count on it, padawan. This is just to get us settled, sort of speak./

/Aw, why do you have to shatter my illusions, master? It's nice to dream, isn't it?/

/It is, but you'll soon see that missions like these are exceptions./

I groaned inwardly. /You're so much fun, master./

/I do try, padawan. I do try./

Our mental conversation was interrupted when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned to see a teenage girl, with braided pink hair, smiling at me.

"Padawan deCrion?"

"Yes? Is there something I can do for you?"

The girl held up a small plate full of bits of mush. "Would you like some? It's sweet, and very good." She smiled, showing off a charming dimple.

I shrugged. "Certainly." I popped a piece in my mouth. It had a tangy, sugary taste, and was very good. I took another piece, and another. "This is quite good, Miss...?"

"Varry. I'm glad you like them." She smiled, then tucked one hand in the crook of my elbow, the other still holding the plate. I frowned at the close contact, and she leaned against my shoulder.

/Master,/ I sent to Qui-Gon, who was watching me, /why is this girl pawing me?/

/Pawing?/ There was restrained laughter in his mental voice, and my expression darkened. I had learned very quickly, in these last four months since becoming his padawan, that Qui-Gon Jinn had an unholy sense of humor at the most inopportune times. /I think she merely likes you, padawan./

/Likes me? She's gotta be at least fourteen, master. What would she want with someone who's not even eleven?/

/Padawan, did you read the mission manifest?/ There was a note of exasperation in his voice.

I winced, stuffing another mush into my mouth, then sipping my drink. /No, I didn't. I thought it was a simple mission, so I didn't bother--/

/You should never assume such a thing, Xanatos. Always, always be thorough in missions. That means reading everything available./

/Yes, master./ I blushed. The girl began rubbing her cheek on my shoulder, and
I squirmed, wanting to throw her off of me. /Why should I have read it?/

/Long marriages are the cornerstone of Biovan society, padawan./

/What's that got to do with it?/

/Women are married early in life, usually by the time they're fifteen. This girl is about that age, and she sees you...worthy./

/Fifteen? That's far too young!/ I paused. /Hey, what do you mean, "worthy"? I'm a child!/

He sighed mentally. /Boys begin to wed when they're ten, and the majority are married by the time they're twelve, padawan. You're at the right age./

/Wed?! That's nuts! I'm a Jedi, I can't marry./

/I'm sure she knows that, padawan, but Biovans do have a fondness for Jedi./ He paused, and there was laughter lacing his next words. /And Jedi have left the Order, you know./

/Not this Jedi!/ I told him hotly, stuffing the last of the mush in my mouth, not bothering with etiquette. I looked down at the girl, who smiled at me. Exasperated, I looked back to my master, who was frowning.

 

This is great! Hilarious! Silly is not bad!

Are we beginning to see some of Obi's luck in Xani? Could it possibly be that Qui gives ppl bad luck?

~Dot

 

Very funny Padawan! I'm really loving this look at young Xan's life. Oh by the way,I am honored you used the last name I gave my Xan! * drags Xan and Ewan back into Shrine *

 

Very nice post JS. I like the lighthearted interaction between Qui-Gon and Xani.

 

Nice to know Obi-Wan isn'[t the only padawan who has to suffer on such simple missions

 

I don't know whether to go Ahhhhh, LOL, or Poor Xani, so I guess I'l have to do all three.

 

Very enjoyable post, Suzuran! I'm really liking this whole story. Please keep writing!

 

LOL! Poor lad...how embarrassing But it got him out of a difficult situation with the minimum of effort, so it can't have been all bad Not silly at all, rather sweet actually. Well, I liked it!

 

DOT:
This is great! Hilarious! Silly is not bad!

Are we beginning to see some of Obi's luck in Xani? Could it possibly be that Qui gives ppl bad luck?

Thanks, DOT. Hmm, Obi's luck in Xani? ? Nah, it's just that all kids have embarassing incidents now and then, so it was Xani's turn.

Master:
Very funny Padawan! I'm really loving this look at young Xan's life.

Glad you're still enjoying, Master.

Oh by the way,I am honored you used the last name I gave my Xan!

Eep! I thought that deCrion was Xani's name. Or was I imagining things? I haven't picked up the JA books in a while, *ducks from objects* so I don't remember what name he was given.

Oops. I should have asked for your permission, Master. Oh dear.

* drags Xan and Ewan back into Shrine *

Hmm, you'd better not wear them out. They need their stamina, you know.

Sheila:
Very nice post JS. I like the lighthearted interaction between Qui-Gon and Xani.

Thanks. You know, you should try writing a little something too. You have talent, after reading that birthday story you gave my master.

PK:
Nice to know Obi-Wan isn'[t the only padawan who has to suffer on such simple missions

Yeah, embarassing situations aren't limited to poor Obi.

JKH:
I don't know whether to go Ahhhhh, LOL, or Poor Xani, so I guess I'l have to do all three.

LOL! He needed all three, poor boy.

Cas:
Very enjoyable post, Suzuran! I'm really liking this whole story. Please keep writing!

Thanks, Cas. Glad the silliness went over well.

Marnie:
LOL! Poor lad...how embarrassing But it got him out of a difficult situation with the minimum of effort, so it can't have been all bad Not silly at all, rather sweet actually. Well, I liked it!

Thanks. There might be another spot of silliness later on. Xani isn't done with embarassing situations yet.

Post is coming up, and as promised, this fic will turn serious.

 

Okay, here is the post.

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Chapter VI: Only a Dream

"You won't take me back."

"I shall do what I must."

"Let me be, Jinn. Let me be. I'm a hopeless cause, we both know that. Let me be."

"I can't. I love you, Xani."

Rage, pure and dark wrapped seductively around me. I didn't push it away, I embraced it, made love to it quickly, deeply, fervently. I stared into those blue eyes, filled with fathomless depths of love and calm, a whisper of lingering devotion inside my body answering his steadfast call of entreaty.

I killed that voice, as I had killed so many other things tying me to this man. "Shut up! Don't dare say you love me, you don't. You're only here to salvage your own conscience, your own pride. Go back to your sainted temple, Jinn. You're on a lost crusade."

"No, I'm not. One way or another, I'll take you back."

"Ah, so you're gonna kill me if I don't cooperate? How like a Jedi Master!" I sneered, igniting my light saber.

After a moment, he did the same. "I don't want to fight you, Xani. Please, come back with me. You can still be a Jedi. You can still be a Knight. It won't be easy, but you can still do it. Please, Xani. Come with me." He held one hand out, a gesture of pleading. I turned away from that, clinging to the dark and beautiful lover in my mind.

"Go to hell!" I cried, and lunged at him, trying to strike at his chest.

He wasn't a Jedi Master for nothing, he easily blocked my move and danced away from me. "Please, Xani!"

I rained blows upon him, shouting, "What part of 'go to hell' don't you understand? LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

He countered my every move, still pleading with me in between hits. "Drop your weapon, Xani. It's still not too late. Please!" His voice raised to a shout.

I flipped over his head, doing an aerial kata that he'd taught me years ago. He followed suit, and we thrust and parried in mid flight. Landing hard on the ground some distance away from him, I laughed breathlessly. "Pathetic as hell, aren't you? The sainted master, trying to bring back his naughty little padawan who has strayed from the serene Jedi flock."

"It's not like that at all. They don't want you back."

I took a step back, laughing harder. "I knew they wouldn't; Yoda's hated me for years. That troll's convinced everyone I'm the destroyer of all things good."

"You haven't convinced me. I know you're still good." he said simply.

The quiet thrusts of my dark lover receded as I stared at him, stunned. Good?

"I know you're hurting. I know you're in pain, and angry. I know that. I can help you. Please, Xani. Please, let me be with you. I still love you. Please." He turned off his light saber, dropping it on the ground. Holding his arms out, he said simply, gently, "Come back to me, Xani. Please." His blue eyes darkened with love. So much love...

I could feel my lips trembling. I took a step forward. My dark lover increased his attentions on my mind and heart, desperately touching and moving inside me. I ignored that, feeling wispy waves of devotion caressing me gently. I took another step forward, my light saber slipping out of my numb hand. "Master..." I began to run to him, tears blurring my vision as he came closer. "Master..."

Then there was blinding pain...


We were set to go out on another mission tomorrow, and though I was tired, I went over the information again. It was going to be a hard one this time, I could tell. Tensions between these groups had been going on for over twenty years, and horrible brutalities had been committed on both sides in the name of pride. It would take a great deal of negotiating and diplomacy to bring them to a common agreement.

I scrolled down the page, nearing the end, when I heard loud screams. I put the pad down, and hurried to Xanatos's bedroom. Opening the door, I saw that he was thrashing on the bed, sobbing and screaming.

I sat down on the bed, stroking his hair away from his sweaty forehead. "Xanatos! Wake up, wake up! It's a d

 

You weren't kidding when you said this would turn dark, were you? Xani's dream was very disturbing, but you wrote it very beautifully.

Please write more, Suzuran!

 

I don't want him to go bad! Beautifully written Padawan.And Xan wasn't given a last name in the JA books.I made up deCrion.Crion was his fathers name.You are most welcome to use it.

 

Oh, poor Xani with visions of a future he cannot possibly fathom.

Very nicely done!

 

UP!

 

Hmmm, *rubs chin.*

 

Hmmm... dark... and fuzzy at the same time! You have done the impossible, Suzuran. You have made me love and hate the Lunkhead and the trickster back and forth several times in one chapter! This is incredible! I also like how you quickly switch from the dark to the fuzzy! Beautiful!

~Dot