In the Dark of the Night JA/Drama/Angst **COMPLETED JUNE 23**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by FELICIA_ZEZILI, May 26, 2002.

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  1. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    Before I start the fic I'd like to say a pray. If your familir with George Carlin then you probaly heard this except I've changed the comedy parts to writing.

    Please lord let me write a good fic.
    Don't let it suck.
    Don't let anyone cry out "Too late!"
    And punish those who do.
    __________________________________________

    Title: In the Dark of the Night
    Author: Felicia Zezili
    Summary: A series of murders are linked to a Sith cult. After a Jedi Master then dies under unexplained circumstances Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon investigate but if they are not careful they will be the next victims of the cult. (Probably not the best summary but it is more interesting then it sounds. I think. You be the judge.)
    Rating: PG-13 (Violence/angst and a little language)
    Time frame: Obi-Wan 17
    Author?s notes: here it is the rewritten version of ?speak no evil? a lot has changed some stuff is the same like the character names but there are many differences almost nothing like the original I think. And as for the title I got it from the Anastasia Movie soundtrack and the words to the song just seem to go with the story. Why did I decide to change it? Well if you didn?t read the reason I put on the thread then here it is: The story wasn?t really going where I had hoped it was and to tell the truth I hadn?t really thought much of it out. After chapter 3 I was winging it. Also I want the characters to be more developed especially Master Bodil (Poor Master Bodil he didn?t even get past the prologue) and Kelilah?s character cause this is gonna become a series and I wanted her to have a more active role, which wasn?t happening in ?Speak no Evil? as I had her in a hospital bed for most of the fic.
    Feedback: Yes please! Feedback always puts a smile on my face especially enthusiastic reviews. And constructive criticism is always helpful
    Quick note: italics are thoughts and // is communicating through the force.
    Warning: this first part is a little sad! Sorry!

    Prologue
    Out of Luck

    Sadira Vali ran down one of the darken alleys of the city Coruscant. She held her daughter close to her chest. There was no way in the seven hells that she would let them take her daughter! No way! Sadira took a second to turn and look back. They were gaining on her. She looked around frantically praying to the force that she could find somewhere to hide. Sadira?s three-year-old daughter gave out a small cry.

    ?Shhh?hush Kelilah everything will be alright but you must be quiet.? Sadira soothed the young girl but even she doubted her own words. Would everything be all right? She looked back again, strands of her long dark brown hair flying in her face, nothing would be all right if she didn?t find a safe place to take her daughter.

    Sadira began to run again Oh force what am I going to do? She thought to herself. Then she saw it a small basement window. It looked just big enough for her to get into and hide until those monsters passed by. She quickly went over to the window and crawled in taking Kelilah with her.

    When Sadira?s feet landed on the ground she pressed her body up against the wall as she heard the footsteps enter the alley. She hugged Kelilah close to her and closed her eyes bringing up the strongest shields she could construct.

    When the footsteps stopped right next to the window Sadira could have sworn that her heart stopped. She didn?t move, didn?t breath. She just prayed that they would move on and search somewhere else.

    Her prays must have been heard because after a few seconds that seemed more like an eternity she could hear footsteps walking away from where she was and out of the alley. Sadira let out a breath. She looked down at Kelilah who stared back at her with big green eyes. Sadira smiled.

    ?It?s alright little one I won?t let them hurt you anymore.? She promised her daughter and then kissed her on the top of the head. Then Sadira looked around. She had to get out of here. They had lost their pursuers for now but they would catch up to the mother and daughter in no time.

    There was a set of stairs that
  2. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Hey, Felicia! Nice to see a rewrite! School's out for me, also, so I'll definitely be here waiting for more!

    Good start!

    KG :cool:
  3. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    Yeee! Felicia story!

    -- sporadically clicks active topic psychotically --
  4. Jessica Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    Oooh, intrigueing! Nice original story line, I'm glad you decided to rewrite it, I'll be looking forward to the next post.
  5. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Hey FELICIA, thanks for the PM. I was glad to see you had a new fic up. Its new to me anyways, i think i may have started the original but didn't get to finish.

    Sounds extremely interesting so far and I can't wait to see where you take it :)

    It'll hold me while await the sequel to that 'other' wonderful fic :D
  6. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I remember the origial. But I like the way the re-write is going.
  7. snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2000
    star 4
    Hey nice job so far Felicia!
    Thanks for the PM!
  8. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Oh good, you've started a new one, or rather revamped an old one. ;) I vaguely remember the old one, glad you're starting again. :)
  9. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks for the PM, looking for more soon? :) 7
  10. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    And it's the whole chapter too!
    ________________________________________

    Chapter 1
    As I watch the world around me fall
    (14 years later)

    ?The episodes have become more frequent lately and after they pass she?s even more withdrawn then before.? Master Bodil said as he sat in a doctor?s office. For the past few months he had been making frequent visits to this place. Ever since the Jedi Healers said that could not do anything for his Padawan and the mysterious blackouts (for lack of a better term) she was suffering from, the Jedi Master had sought out alternative care but he still got the same sad looks and apologies.

    ?I?m sorry Master Bodil but we have done all we possible can. We have done hundreds of test and I have personally talked to some of the best in the medical profession and as far as we can tell there is nothing physically wrong with her.? Doctor Lekis tired to explain with as much compassion she could muster. Master Bodil rubbed his forehead. He had heard this same reply before from many other doctors and quiet frankly he was starting to believe that medical personnel were given scripts on what to say in such a situation. Doctor Lekis saw the Jedi?s frustration and felt something needed to be said, ?Master Bodil you must understand my position?? Master looked up at her his eyes blazing.

    ?No! You must understand MY position. You are asking my to go and tell my Padawan that once again that the modern miracles of the medical field have failed.? At that last statement Master Bodil stood from his chair and excused himself from the room.


    Master Bodil walked out into the waiting room where his Padawan 17-year-old Kelilah Vali was. He stopped in the doorway and just stared at her for a moment. If he looked hard enough he could still see the energetic little 5-year-old that he would have to chase down the halls every now and then. Kelilah used to be so open when she was younger, so eager to make friends with everyone around her.

    But that all changed when she began to suffer from this mysterious illness. They came on quickly and then passed just as fast, leaving no evidence of anything happing except that Kelilah would be come very quiet and depressed. Whenever Master Bodil questioned her about it. She would try to change the subject or say she had class work to finish up or any other number of excuses.

    But his padawan deliberately hiding something from him wasn?t the worst part. The worst part was she never smiled anymore.

    ?Master?? The sound of Kelilah?s voice brought the Jedi back to the real world. ?What did Doctor Lekis say?? She asked rising from her seat.

    ?The same.? Master Bodil?s heart ached as he saw the defeated look come over Kelilah?s face. ?Kel there are still other doctor?s on other planets who?? Kelilah?s soft voice cut him off.

    ?I?m tired Master.? She said. ?I?m tired of going to one doctor after another and hearing the same apologizes and the pitying looks. I don?t want to do this anymore.? She looked up him with a pleading look. Master Bodil could see unshed tears I her eyes.

    ?All right Kel.? He said quietly. ?All right lets go home.? Just then Master Bodil?s comlink went off. ?Go wait in the speeder Kelilah. I?ll be out in a second.? Kelilah nodded and walked out of the waiting room. Master Bodil took out his comlink and activated it. ?Bodil.? He said into it.

    ?You Jedi think you are so invincible.? A hard voice said on the other end of the transmission. ?You have no idea what?s in store for you.? A low chuckle was then heard.

    ?Who is this?? instead of a reply the low chuckle continued and grew louder till it became a menacing laugh.

    Master Bodil?s eyes grew wide as a burning sensation began to fill his chest. He suddenly found it difficult to breath and was becoming light headed. Before he lost consciousness the Jedi sent a message to his padawan. //Kelilah! //



    Smoke bellowed out of the large opening in the ceiling of the Jedi Temple Memorial Hall. Around the circular room, lined with tall windows that let the light of Coruscant in
  11. Ganki Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    Looks good Felicia. More soon I hope!

    Please post soon ^_^

    UP!!!
  12. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    I like this! :D Hope the next post comes soon - I always like your writing.
  13. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Lovely post, Felicia! Nice long one, too! Excellent! :D

    More soon please! :)

    KenobisGirl :cool:
  14. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  15. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Who in the sith is that sith. 7
  16. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    A nice long post, FELICIA. I love it :)

    Things are certainly looking interesting here. I dare say Kelilah has quite the attitude. I'm sure she has her reasons, but to push away such a kindhearted and gorgeous fellow padawan :eek: Me thinks she will reconsider her feelings on the matter as the story progresses though.

    And Qui, its always duty first with him. As it should be i guess. But what about poor Obi laying unconsious on the floor as he chases that thing out the window? Hope to see more soon FELICIA

    And please feel free to PM me when you update. I'm not getting to read as much as i used to and i appreciate you keeping me updated :D til next post.
  17. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Kelilah certainly seems to have a few problems. I wonder what's causing them. And who is the mysterious badly trained lightsabre wielding man and what does he want with Kelilah? Does the senator's missing daughter have anything to do with all this? Questions questions and only you can provide answers. ;)
  18. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    Chapter 2
    Tormented soul

    Clink

    Clink Clink

    Obi-Wan gradually came back into consciousness. He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He opened his eyes and looked around. Standing beside him was Master Healer Laria. She was picking small pieces of the glass from the shattered windows out of the young man?s skin. The ?clink? sound he had heard was the tiny pieces of glass being dropped into a tray, held by Amaele.

    ?Morning sunshine!? Amaele said cheerfully when she noticed Obi-Wan was awake. The only response the padawan gave was a slight groan.

    ?How long have I been out??

    ?Only about a half an hour.? Healer Laria responded not looking up from her task. Obi-wan began to sit up with some help from Amaele. ?What happened in there Obi-Wan??

    ?The masters have tried to get information from Kelilah but she?s not saying anything.? Amaele added.

    ?We were attacked after the memorial service. It was man wearing all black with a lightsaber. Wasn?t very skilled with the weapon though.? Obi-Wan said gingerly touching the back of his head where he felt a lump. Healer Laria looked up at Obi-Wan and then over to her apprentice.

    ?Amaele, I?m done here. I want you to bandage him up for me. I?m going to speak with the masters.?

    ?Yes Master.? Amaele said as Healer Laria left the room. Then the young apprentice set right to work at bandaging Obi-Wan?s wounds.


    Healer Laria walked down the tall hallway that lead to the council chambers but when she arrived she saw Qui-Gon, Master Windu and Master Yoda standing outside the doors of the chamber. The healer bowed to the three men as she drew closer to them.

    ?Master Jinn, your apprentice is awake and doing well. Amaele is just finishing up with him.? Laria informed Qui-Gon.

    ?Thank you Laria.?

    ?Did you question him about the attack?? Master Windu asked. Laria recited to the three Jedi what Obi-Wan had said to her. After a few moments of contemplation Master Windu spoke. ?What your Padawan describes Qui-Gon, sounds like a Sith.?

    ?I do not believe that it was a Sith, Mace.? Qui-Gon stated. Yoda looked up at the tall Jedi with interest.

    ?Reason for this have you?? the tiny master asked in his usual dialect.

    ?I have no doubt of Obi-Wan?s abilities but if their attacker had been a Sith even an apprentice, he would not have made it out alive.? Qui-Gon explained. Mace nodded in agreement. Only a fully trained Jedi could defeat a Sith with the dark side as his ally.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Obi-Wan left the healers ward after Amaele had cared for his wounds. It had taken some convincing on his part to get the apprentice healer to let him leave on his own. She had insisted that he needed a hover chair and an escort. Obi-Wan smiled and shook his head. Amaele had become very overprotective of him ever since he almost died over a year ago. As he walked down the hall towards his and Qui-Gon?s quarters he saw a familiar figure ahead of him. It was Kelilah. Obi-Wan quickened his pace till he reached her.

    ?Hey,? Obi-Wan said as he walked next to her. Kelilah didn?t respond to his greeting and actually began to walk a bit faster. But Obi-Wan was too headstrong to give up that easily. ?I just wanted to make sure you were all right.?

    ?Well I think it?s clear that I am.? She replied a little sharply. ?I don?t need an escort.?

    ?Fine. I?m not here to escort you. I?m just walking.? Obi-Wan replied. Kelilah stopped suddenly and turned to him.

    ?Your not going to leave me alone are you??

    ?Well you see that?s the thing with me, I see someone in need and I want to help. I?m really trying to work on it though.? Kelilah rolled her eyes and started walking again.

    ?I thought I made it clear I don?t want or need any help.?

    ?By what happened in the Memorial hall I?d say you do or is it that in your culture someone attacking you a sign of affection?? Kelilah had no reply for him and they continued the walk in silence. As they walked Obi-Wan began to notice that Kelilah was growing pale and her pace was becoming slower and
  19. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Kelilah's having visions of people*being killed or tortured* or both, was her mother a sith, a sith apprentice? Kelilah and Obi seem to have some kind of bond when he touched her he saw her vision. Post soon 7 :)
  20. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Oooooooooooh! Interesting :)

    This same cult that was after Kelilah when she was younger must be behind this? It's still too early to guess though.

    Still too many questions for me, i'm going to reserve comment until the plot unfolds a little farther. :)

    Good post FELICIA, very intruiging.
  21. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    I once promised myself I would never up. as it turns out I'm a hypocrite
  22. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    But you only did it because I asked, so I don't consider you to be a hypocrite. At least I finally found your wayward thread :)

    What did the Captain see on the girl's body? Another one what?

    More soon- Please :)
  23. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
  24. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    I think I went a bit over board with this chapter.
    ____________________________________

    Chapter 3
    Pursue the Truth

    Inspector Megara Arsene sat in her office located in the security force building. The office was furnished with the usual things a desk, file cabinets and other seats but had no personal touch to it, no holophotos of family and friends and nothing hanging on the walls. She had been working in the district for two years and had been repeatedly questioned by colleagues as to why she kept her office that way and she would give the same answer each time. ?Personal effects are a distraction from the job.?

    There was a knock at her door. The 35-year old looked up to see Eikki Kivi, a male human in his late thirties enter. ?Hey super cop,? he said. ?Got another one for you.? He handed her the file. ?Latest victim is the glamorous Adara Basilio.?

    ?Have cause of death?? Arsene asked as she skimmed the information. It contained the usual description of the victim, how they were found and back history.

    ?No. The body was just sent down to the morgue. They want you to stop by and give it look. Make sure it?s defiantly one of yours.? Arsene nodded and tossed the file onto her desk ?By the way you have some people who want to speak with you.? Kivi mentioned as he began to leave. She gave him a questioning look. ?A Master Qui-Gon Jinn, his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi and Senator Basilio.?

    ?Two Jedi and a Senator?? Arsene looked skyward for a moment. ?Gods help me.? She looked back at Kivi. ?All right, send them in.? Kivi grinned and left the office. A few minutes later Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Senator Basilio entered. Arsene stood up from her seat.

    ?Good afternoon gentlemen.? She said respectfully as she shook each of their hands. They each sat down and Arsene went right down to business. ?Now I?m going to blunt.? She said leaning forward. ?I see no reason for you gentlemen to be here. With the Jedi this really does not seem like a job that people with your skills would be interested in and Senator Basilio with your daughter being a victim, your presence could affect the outcome of our investigation.? She paused. ?To sum it up, it will be a waste of your time and a strain on my patience.?

    The room grew silent after that. Obi-Wan looked to his master to see any type of reaction from the Jedi but as usual there was none. Qui-Gon had taken in the inspector?s reasons calmly.

    ?You present your case quite well inspector.? Qui-Gon commented, ?but as Jedi my padawan and myself have take a vow as protectors of the republic and this killer is targeting citizens of the republic therefore it is not below us.? Obi-Wan looked back at the woman sitting at the desk, proud of his master?s reply.

    ?I have been working on this case for two years now and we are no closer to finding the perpetrator then from day one. I honestly don?t believe adding a Jedi Master and his apprentice to the mix will have a big impact.? Arsene said leaning back.

    ?Sounds as though you have already given up on finding this guy.? Obi-Wan commented.

    ?You have to understand what kind of environment we are living in. Do you have any idea how many crimes are committed in this district alone? Now you take that number and times it by the amount of districts there are. The total is staggering and there are just not enough security force personnel to counter. As a result some crimes go unsolved, victims unjustified.? She looked to Qui-Gon. ?As Jedi you must relate to this. So many problems in the Galaxy but only a limited amount of Jedi.?

    ?We do what we can.?

    ?As do I.?

    ?But why continue an investigation on a case you believe will never be solved??

    Arsene shrugged. ?Victims keep showing up and?? She looked over at Senator Basilio, ?Victim?s family members keep paying big money to keep the case open.? Arsene sighed and looked at her chrono. ?It?s obvious that this will not be resolved any time soon and I have a date with a body at the morgue. I suppose since you are a part of this case now that you should come along.? Sena
  25. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I found it this time without any help :)

    Can I hazard a guess that the dates of her attacks match the dates of the murders?
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