main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

In the Dark of the Night JA/Drama/Angst **COMPLETED JUNE 23**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by FELICIA_ZEZILI, May 26, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. jedi7

    jedi7 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2002
    :) Sherlock Kenobi, on the case. ;)
    I agree with Kitara do the seizures, and murders match? 7
     
  2. Rogue_JediKnight

    Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2002
    FELICA - You picked up a new reader :D. This is great - curiosity is definately piqued.

    And I don't think there's anything wrong with upping the story on occasion - I rarely have time to scan past page one, so I end up missing a lot of great stories - but I found yours and it's in my notification group now :D.

    Looking forward to more.

    Rogue
     
  3. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2000
    Good thought, PadawanKitara , I would never have connected the siezures to the murders. Now Felicia will have to confirm if you are right. ;)

    Wow, talk about cold, Arsene doesn't waste any time on pleasantries. Granted it's a hard job, but she didn't even offer her sympathies to the Senator for his daughter's death. Of course maybe she just doesn't have any sympathy and the Senator didn't seem too bothered by the death of his daughter, maybe he's in shock or maybe it's something more sinister. Her esophagus was crushed from the inside? Sounds like a force user to me. :)
     
  4. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Oh, interesting idea PadawanKitara. I didn't even think of that.

    I dont think you went to far FELICIA, the scene in the morgue wasn't too bad. I thank you for leaving out the more grizly details :)

    Skin art showcase? Intriguing, yet disgusting at the same time. Very unique idea.

    With detective Obi on the case, i'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this :D
     
  5. Enigma_Jade

    Enigma_Jade Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    . . .here comes another new reader!

    I'm very interested to see where this story is headed! You're doing a wonderful job, FELICIA! Keep it up, and I can't wait for more!

    EJ
     
  6. Enigma_Jade

    Enigma_Jade Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Going UP.
     
  7. FELICIA_ZEZILI

    FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2001
    A few spoilers from AOTC. Nothing really significant just characters.
    _________________________________

    Chapter 4
    Revelations

    ?Obi-Wan, wake up!? The sound of Qui-Gon?s voice cut into Obi-Wan?s deep sleep. The young man?s eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up. He had fallen asleep at his desk after spending a good portion of last night reading through the file he had Amaele give him on Kelilah.

    ?I?m up. I?m up.? Obi-Wan mumbled as he ran a hand over his face and through his short hair. He stood from the chair and stretched. Then grabbed a fresh tunic and pants and went into the fresher.

    After he was washed and changed he went back into his room and grabbed his belt, lightsaber and COM link. He strapped the belt on and attached the Lightsaber to it. Then walked out into the common room

    The door chime sounded. Qui-Gon stood from his seat at the couch, walked over to the door and activated it. On the other side of the door was a middle-aged male human holding a satchel.

    ?Master Qui-Gon Jinn?? The man asked.

    ?Yes.?

    The man extended his hand. ?I?m officer Eikki Kivi. Inspector Arsene sent me.? Qui-Gon shook the man?s hand and invited him into the apartment.

    ?We were heading over to meet with inspector Arsene in a few minutes.? Qui-Gon explained.

    ?That?s why she sent me. She received a call from our superior, Chief Titus. She won?t be able to see you today but she did leave you something? Kivi explained. He went into his satchel and pulled out three data pads and a holo-projector. He set the holo-projector on the coffee table and activated it. Almost immediately a small transparent image of Inspector Arsene appeared.

    ?Master Jinn, the three data pads that officer Kivi has brought you are the files on the other victims. There are 9 victims altogether including Adara. The first data pad has the back ground for each victim, the second has the details of their deaths and the third is new information that we have on the missing skin piece. We believe we know what the tattoo looked like. Officer Kivi will answer any questions you may have.? At that the small holo disappeared.

    Officer Kivi handed Qui-Gon the data pads. Upon turning on the first one a menu of names came up. The Jedi master clicked on one of the names and pages of background information appeared. For each name the same thing happened.

    After reading the information thoroughly, Qui-Gon began to find common links between the victims. All seem to be of the high class, very successful and they gained that success quickly and held onto it. They also had a few shady incidences in their past.

    Qui-Gon then turned on the third data pad. ?Odell called a specialist in to look at Adara and run some more tests.? Kivi explained. ?They came up with a sketch of what the tattoo might have looked like.? Qui-Gon looked closely at the picture of the tattoo that appeared. It looked like two three prong pitchforks that crossed each other at the tips.

    ?The mark of Shane.? He muttered.

    ?What? You know what it is??

    Qui-Gon looked up at the officer. ?It resembles a tattoo that was worn by a Sith named Shane back during the wars. He had a large group of followers and Shane would brand them with the same symbol.? Qui-Gon turned to his apprentice ?You should know this, it was a part of your history lesson.?

    ?What happened to this Shane?? Kivi asked. He had taken out a pad and was hurriedly taking information down.

    ?He died around the end of the wars and his followers disbanded.? Obi-Wan said.

    ?But the wars were hundreds of years ago, none of these people were around back then.?

    ?Then it appears that they never did disbanded.? Qui-Gon mused and picked up the second data pad. ?Inspector Arsene mentioned that the deaths were strange?? Qui-Gon said as he scrolled down the information.

    ?Um?yeah a few of them were. The first couple looked like suicides but the skin thing was done post mortem. So we started to suspect foul play.? He handed Qui-Gon the data pad with the details on the nature of the deaths. ?Then
     
  8. jedi7

    jedi7 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2002
    Hmmmm, further questioning of the families is needed, and a warning never eat DiDi's food :D 7
     
  9. TheFallen

    TheFallen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2001
    Excellent chapter. :D Sooner posting, hmm? YAY! Poor girl, getting tortured by visions and bad food. :( ;)
     
  10. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Wow- It was a good guess :)

    I knew there had to be something weird about the Senator. How could he just stand there a watch his daughter's autposy- defitnitely not the norm!
     
  11. Rogue_JediKnight

    Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2002
    It seems that PadawanKitara was right on target in linking the dates with the murders :).

    FELICIA - Good job integrating the AoTC characters into the story. Definately looking forward to more :D.

    Rogue
     
  12. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    I definately like seeing Obi take a more active role rather than just doing what Qui tells him to do.

    It was very smart of him (and PadawanKitara :D ) to put the dates together with the murders.

    Dex's Diner was a nice touch too :)

    Another engrossing and informative post, FELICIA. Can't wait for more.
     
  13. FELICIA_ZEZILI

    FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2001
    Chapter 5
    Sins of the Mother

    Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Inspector Arsene stood outside Senator Basilio?s apartment. Arsene rang the door chime and waited for an answer.

    After Obi-Wan had contacted Qui-Gon and explained to his master what Kelilah had said to him in the diner, the Jedi Master told Obi-Wan to bring Kelilah back to the Temple while him and officer Kivi try to contact Inspector Arsene.

    When the two were finally able to reach the inspector and explain the new developments in the investigation, She told them to meet her at the Senator?s apartment where they would confront the man with what they knew.

    The Senator seemed surprised to see the two Jedi and inspector at his door but he invited them in all the same. ?Have there been new developments in the case?? he asked in a slightly shaky tone.

    ?There have been a few new developments, Senator? Arsene said as she walked into the apartment. ?But we?d like to ask you a few questions.?

    ?I have already told you everything I know.? Basilio insisted.

    ?We have heard from another source that you are withholding information.? Arsene shot back. The Senator grew silent. ?If you are not telling us everything Senator you will be suspected in having a part in your daughter?s murder.?

    ?I can?t!? The Senator cried out suddenly. Qui-Gon took the Senator by the arm and steered him to a chair then took a seat across from the man. The Senator placed his head in his hands.

    ?Senator,? Qui-Gon said leaning forward, ?Why can?t you tell us??

    ?Because he?ll kill me. Like he killed the others and my daughter.? Basilio said with despair. ?Oh Gods you have no idea how much it hurt to know that monster killed her and I wasn?t able to do anything about it.?

    ?Who is he?? Qui-Gon asked The Senator looked up at Qui-Gon

    ?The man in the memorial hall, who attacked your apprentice and the girl.? The senator sat back in the chair and stared down at his hands. ?It?s all going to the seven hells but he refuses to believe it.? He began to ramble, ?All those people died because they questioned him. Adara tired to run but he went after her. He was making examples of them.?

    ?If you knew she was dead why did you request my help??
    The Senator stopped his rambling and looked up at the Jedi with a small ironic smile. ?I thought you could do something.? He then looked over to inspector Arsene with scorn. ?Gods know they can?t!? he said. Arsene was about to protest but Qui-Gon held up a hand and the inspector held her tongue. ?Besides,? the Senator continued, ?You?ve done a good job keeping that girl safe all these years.?

    ?Girl??

    ?The one in the Memorial Hall.?

    ?What does he want with Kelilah?? Obi-Wan asked as a bad feeling began to creep up his spin.

    ?He wants her because of what he believes she is.?

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Kelilah entered her new quarters she had just moved into. After Master Bodil died she was required to move into a temporary room in the initiate wing until she was assigned another master. Most of her things were still in the three boxes by the far wall.

    She lay down on the bed staring up at the ceiling. It was all becoming so complicated. It uses to be simple. Keep your mouth shut. Don?t say anything about it. But after her master?s death it became out of control.

    Her master. It was so hard with her master gone. She never talked to him about any of it but it was just nice to have someone who cared about what happened to her, someone to protect her. Now she had no one.

    Her comlink began beeping. Kelilah took out the small device and activated it. ?Hello.? She said in a miserable voice.

    ?Hello Kelilah.? The voice on the other end said. Kelilah immediately sat up.

    ?What do you want?? She demanded.

    ?I?m disappointed in you Kelilah.? She knew that she should end the transmission now but she couldn?t his voice was hypnotic. ?You?ve always been so good at keeping this little secret. You never even told your master??

    ?The master you killed!? She shot back.

    ?The point is Kelilah, you told that boy things. Thing
     
  14. jedi7

    jedi7 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2002
    She's not under Nurgal's influence is she?Keli thinks she's gonna stop a SITH!!! Qui better come looking for Obi right now!!! 7
     
  15. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Who does this girl think she is, wonder woman? Does she really think she can take on Nurgal all by herself? Foolish girl.

    And she drugs the only person who has been nice and has tried to help her. It's one thing to be independant, but this is mere stupidity on Kelilah's part.

    You know, i like this fic. The plot is wonderful and well thought through. The only thing i don't care for is Kelilah herself. I don't find her very likeable at all. Maybe that's your intention, i don't know. :)

    Looking forward to more soon FELICIA
     
  16. Rogue_JediKnight

    Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2002
    Ooh! The plot thickens. Great post FELICIA and an extra long one, too :D (The best kind).

    shanobi - Who does this girl think she is, wonder woman? Does she really think she can take on Nurgal all by herself? Foolish girl.
    Exactly! What's up with Jedi Padawans thinking they're super heros ;)? I couldn't imagine Obi-Wan doing anything like that [face_mischief].

    You're spoiling us FELICIA :D!

    Rogue
     
  17. Enigma_Jade

    Enigma_Jade Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    :D :D :D

    Wonderful post, FELICIA!!! Sorry it took me so long to get over here, but DRL was being evil again!

    I loved the image of Obi being stuck with that needle and just sort of. . .passing out. [face_devil] It was very well written and it definitely stuck out in my head. He's gonna be so annoyed when he gets up! [face_laugh] Please post more soon!

    EJ
     
  18. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Have to agree with Rogue. Padawans seem to think they can do anything. Parents and teachers always say that teens think they are invincible. I don't think that makes Kelilah a bad person, just an immature teen.
     
  19. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2000
    Bad move Kalilah, there's no way you can take him on by yourself. You should have gone to the council and asked for their help. Still, been isolated for so long I guess she has trouble confiding in others. I mean she didn't even tell her master, but I wonder if she's realized yet that if she had he might be alive. Sounds like a lot of guilt will be coming her way. Lucky for her Obi will stick by her if she just lets him. :)
     
  20. Enigma_Jade

    Enigma_Jade Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Just upping!
     
  21. FELICIA_ZEZILI

    FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2001
    Chapter 6
    Dance with the devil

    Qui-Gon stood outside the room where his prone padawan laid on a bed. The Jedi Master had received a message from Amaele about his padawan?s condition, while the healers were performing some blood tests to determine what the boy had been injected with.

    When he had first arrived he had demanded to know how Obi-Wan was doing. The healers reassured him that the boy had a steady heartbeat and appeared to be in no apparent danger. ?It was only a mild sedative, nothing too serious. He should be awake in no time.? As the healer finished the young man in the bed began to stir from his drug-induced slumber.

    Qui-Gon rushed into the room and over to his padawan?s side. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and looked up at his master. The young man looked to his left and right. ?Unbelievable.? He muttered closing his eyes. ?What happened?? He asked struggling to sit up. The sedative was taking its time wearing off and he still felt a bit woozy.

    ?That psycho drugged you, then ran off.? Amaele said bluntly appearing in the doorway. Obi-Wan looked at her a bit confused.

    ?Kelilah injected you with sedative and left the healers ward through the window.? Qui-Gon explained. Obi-Wan thought for a moment and the events that took place before he slipped into unconsciousness began to become clear. He remembered Kelilah had started to cry and he had tried to comfort her. He looked down at him arm as he remembered her stabbing him with the syringe. There was a bandage around his arm now. ?I?m sorry Obi-Wan but this is how it has to be. I have to end this one way or another.? She had said that right before the world around him went dark.

    Suddenly a feeling of urgency filled him. ?We have to go find her! She is going after Nurgal and??

    ?Obi-Wan calm down. The council has already sent teams of Jedi out to find her.? Qui-Gon said placing a hand on the young man?s shoulder.

    ?No they won?t get to her in time. We have to.? Obi-Wan said as he slid off the hospital bed. When his feet hit the ground and he tried to support his own weight, he stumbled a bit but quickly caught himself.

    Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan began to walk out of the room. Amaele tried blocking his path by standing in the middle of the doorway. ?I don?t understand what you are doing.? She said. ?This girl treats you like you?re the scum of the galaxy. She?s the reason you land in the healer?s ward twice in two days and one of those times was done by her own hand! Yet you still try and defend her??

    ?Move Amaele.? Obi-Wan said but the girl held her ground but all Obi-Wan had to do was stare her down and the healer apprentice stepped aside.

    As Obi-Wan walked out into the hall Amaele turned to Qui-Gon helplessly. ?Master Jinn please, talk some sense into him.? She pleaded with the man.

    ?Amaele I share your concerns but I trust Obi-Wan?s instincts.? Qui-Gon said gently.

    ?But?? Amaele began but Qui-Gon silenced her. He smiled slightly

    ?Obi-Wan has always remained loyal to me when I go off and fight for a cause I believe worthy. I Think I owe it to him to show the same loyalty.? Qui-Gon said then left the young woman alone.

    Amaele walked over to the bed and sat down. ?Am I the only one left with common sense?? She asked turning her face skywards.


    ?Master, we have no idea where Kelilah is, so where are we going?? Obi-Wan asked as Qui-Gon climbed into a speeder.

    ?Security Force headquarters.? Qui-Gon said as Obi-Wan climbed into the passengers seat. Qui-Gon started the speeder and the two drove away form the temple. ?I think Senator Basilio would know where Kelilah would be heading.?

    The Security Force headquarters was crowded with officers booking criminals, questioning suspects or witness and heading out to crime scenes. No one seemed to notice the two Jedi walk in Qui-Gon looked over the heads of people trying to find any sign of Arsene or even officer Kivi.

    Qui-Gon walked up to the front desk. A female Twi?lek with red skin sat behind it talking on a comlink. ?I don?t know what she was thinking
     
  22. Rogue_JediKnight

    Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2002
    FELICIA - What a wonderful ending :). Definately looking forward to reading the next one - what can I say, I'm a sucker for JA [face_love].

    Have fun on your trip :D and please keep me on your PM list.

    Rogue
     
  23. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Very nicely done, FELICIA

    You tied everything up rather nicely, and it was nice to see Qui-Gon let Obi-Wan take the lead and trusting in his instincts.

    You certainly created curiosity where Kelilah was concerned. Nothing personal there, i just didn't like the character. I found her very hard to sympathize with. Your ending with her and Obi in the garden went a long ways towards redeeming her though.

    As far as sequels are concerned, you know how much i loved Lost in the Darkness :) But i am willing to wait as long as it takes for you to go where you want to go with that.

    I'll look for more from you soon.
     
  24. Enigma_Jade

    Enigma_Jade Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Great job, Felicia! I can't wait for your new story to come out!

    EJ
     
  25. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Great story Felicia. Please let me know when the new one is ready :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.