Saga In the Shadow of the Chosen: Episodes I-III (Obi-Wan, Anakin, TPM/post TPM) - - End of III, March 2!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by solojones, Dec 1, 2003.

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  1. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    This is the 700th post in this thread. That's ridiculously sad for me and everyone involved :p

    KenobiObiWan
    This just gets better and better. I can't wait for more updates.

    It's always hard to tell when readers are just saying that and making themselves believe it and when they really don't have any problems with how a story is going. It's hard to critique something you like, you know? That's just my worry, but maybe I'm just paranoid :p

    In any case, I'm very glad for the support from all of you. I understand if you can't comment often; I am busy a lot of the time, too. I have to catch up on comments in several stories [face_worried]. But it is very nice to hear from you, and to know that you're enjoying the story.

    That was not what I was expecting. I loved that twist.

    You know, most of my favourite films have twist endings. Isn't that odd? I blame my love for twists on Hitchcock. But if the rest of the story isn't good, it won't work, so I guess this is a nice compliment ;) I am very much enjoying the twists here that I get to finally reveal.

    And on a side note, just from reading the posts between you and ophelia I had to go check her story out.

    Yes! Great idea :) FWIW, I feel her story is highly underread. It's an amazing and very fun story to read as well as being very deep. Essentially, I love it for all the reasons I really love Star Wars, and then some. I'm glad you've caught up with it :)

    The posts between you two are so entertaining.

    Entertaining and sometimes frightening, confusing, or just plain ... indescribable? :p

    Of course I love reading the replies of everyone in this story, can't help but love Obi fans!!

    Definitely. It really is awesome to have such a group who keeps coming back and who all have interesting reactions and ideas. And one of the things I love about it is challenging the Obi-Wan fans' concept of Obi-Wan, Anakin, etc. He's no saint, but in the end, he's The Man :cool:

    -sj loves kevin spacey
  2. KenobiObiWan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2004

    This just gets better and better. I can't wait for more updates.

    It's always hard to tell when readers are just saying that and making themselves believe it and when they really don't have any problems with how a story is going. It's hard to critique something you like, you know? That's just my worry, but maybe I'm just paranoid


    I'm not just saying that, I'm really enjoying this story. I really adore Star Wars and Obi-Wan and your story fits right in. In fact, if someone had sent this to me and I didn't know better, I would have sworn it was official Star Wars literature. Its very well written, and it has those lovely Star Wars twists and surprises and the characters are dead on.

    In any case, I'm very glad for the support from all of you. I understand if you can't comment often; I am busy a lot of the time, too. I have to catch up on comments in several stories . But it is very nice to hear from you, and to know that you're enjoying the story.

    I usually don't have much time to comment because I have four little kids. They keep me very busy, but I just had to stop by and say something here.


    That was not what I was expecting. I loved that twist.

    You know, most of my favourite films have twist endings. Isn't that odd? I blame my love for twists on Hitchcock. But if the rest of the story isn't good, it won't work, so I guess this is a nice compliment I am very much enjoying the twists here that I get to finally reveal.


    You are a lot like Obi-Wan, aren't you. If the rest of the story isn't good????? With your talent?? Not possible. I love movies (and stories) with twists in them, I love to be surprised and shocked!


    And on a side note, just from reading the posts between you and ophelia I had to go check her story out.

    Yes! Great idea FWIW, I feel her story is highly underread. It's an amazing and very fun story to read as well as being very deep. Essentially, I love it for all the reasons I really love Star Wars, and then some. I'm glad you've caught up with it


    I completely agree with you. You both should be on GL's payroll. All the wonderful things you said about her story apply to yours as well. They are both amazing and highly addictive.

    The posts between you two are so entertaining.

    Entertaining and sometimes frightening, confusing, or just plain ... indescribable?


    Oh, I love them. Almost as good as the stories themselves!


    Of course I love reading the replies of everyone in this story, can't help but love Obi fans!!

    Definitely. It really is awesome to have such a group who keeps coming back and who all have interesting reactions and ideas. And one of the things I love about it is challenging the Obi-Wan fans' concept of Obi-Wan, Anakin, etc. He's no saint, but in the end, he's The Man


    I agree, he's no saint, but it makes him more likable. Perfect is not possible anyway. No matter how hard he tries. All the things Obi-Wan faces in his life, and he NEVER gives up. Yep, he is The Man!
  3. Terr_Mys Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 6
    All right...these comments are for the second-to-last chapter. :) Because I'm a damned fool ("idealistic crusade" omitted for fear of offending certain deceased papal figures *cough*UrbanII*cough*) ...so uh, maybe I'll actually catch up completely this weekend.

    Obi-Wan hissed quietly through his teeth, half in frustration and half from the throbbing pain that pulsed its way up from his stomach, back, and arm, and all seemed to congeal somewhere behind his eyes. Ouch. I felt that :(. Skillful description there...also pretty cool. Especially because OW's the one experiencing the blinding pain.

    The medic immediately recognised the Jedi?s intent and thankfully did not attempt to coddle him with any nonsense about staying still until they were sure his neck wasn?t broken or anything. [face_laugh] I love OW's commenting. A Jedi knows best, of course...unless you're looking for dating tips. :(

    Suddenly, Chancellor Palpatine had re-entered Obi-Wan?s view, crouching once again along his left side. He made a rather clumsy attempt at aiding the Jedi. A sharp twinge radiated from Obi-Wan?s left upper back as the Chancellor?s fingers accidentally dug into one of his blistering burns. Obi-Wan grunted in reaction, prompting Palpatine to pull away. Hmm...you're making me wonder whether Palps did that intentionally or if it's just meant to show Palps as a sort of impractical politician type. Which is humourous, coming from OW's POV and all, but knowing that Palps isn't really that inept (SITH MOFF [face_devil] [face_frustrated] :cool:) makes me doubtful. Either way, more Obi torture is good.

    ?My apologies, Master Kenobi, I didn?t realise?? Palpatine looked concerned as he observed the injuries visible through the burned layers of tunic. ?Oh dear,? he said gravely. Glancing at the young medic, he added, ?That looks rather serious.? Ahhhh...I love Palps. :D He's just so...weasly. And snakey. And loads of fun to read. Definitely one of my favourite characters in this epic so far. ;)

    Obi-Wan nodded slightly in reply, and slowly dragged his eyes away from the politician. Ah...I could definitely see that. Very OWesque. He's just on a completely different level than Palpatine. That slight nod is somewhat arrogant, but it's not as if he's condescending towards Palpatine, it's just that his fake, appeasing politican attitude doesn't affect OW and all and his words go in one ear and out the other. This process of course being facilitated by the fact that OW has no brain.

    ?Master Kenobi,? the mousy medic said slowly, as though he were nervous about getting the name right. Heh...your gift for characterisation strikes again. :p These people MUST live inside your head...there's no other way you could so readily convey these unique, colourful personalities. But it helps a lot with imagery because the characters are so vivid and, well, this is a character study after all. woohoo character-intense writing!

    ?Please,? he rasped, ?I need to return to the Jedi Temple.? Call me twisted, but I found this pretty humourous. Yes, he probably realises that he needs Jedi medical expertise and whatnot, but I also took it as OW being so eager to get back to the temple and get some closure to his mission in spite of his blinding pain. :) Raspy rabbit. Heheh.

    He reached for the emergency sleigh behind him that amounted basically to a floating plank. Ooh, SWsy. I like that. Floaty things are cool. :) I don't like that that was just an isolated incident with Han in Cloud city though...they should've used non-Force floatiness more often. :( Unless...Jeremy Bulloch can use the Force...hmm...that must be why he's my favourite actor.

    Before the medic could reply, Palpatine had bent over to retrieve the weapon. He studied it absentmindedly. Obi-Wan held out an expectant hand, and the Chcancellor shot him an unreadable smile before returning the weapon. Ahh...that was a cool moment. I'm not quite sure what precisely about it I liked. The image of Palps studying the weapon of the Jed
  4. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    I'm working on it guys. I spent 14 hours on the next part yesterday and didn't even get to the real part of the post :p I have tons of calc homework to do today because I'm way behind, and this week I start directing a one act play. I'm trying, though :(

    KenobiObiWan
    I'm not just saying that, I'm really enjoying this story.

    No, I'm sure you are, but my brain treats everything, especially compliments, as suspect. Really not a very good quality to have.

    In fact, if someone had sent this to me and I didn't know better, I would have sworn it was official Star Wars literature.

    [face_blush] Well thank you, I'm glad it feels 'authentic'. That's what the aim of canon pieces should be I think, and since this is definitely in the canon universe, there you go. That's a very nice compliment indeed.

    But I will here refrain from commenting on the EU :p ;)


    I usually don't have much time to comment because I have four little kids.

    I know, I suspect most people here are more busy than me. And here I am complaining about how I never have time to write. It's silly. I'm glad you do what you can :)

    You are a lot like Obi-Wan, aren't you.

    I've been accused of that before [face_worried]

    If the rest of the story isn't good????? With your talent??

    Well I mean stories in general. A story has to be good in the first place for the twist to work. But yes, that includes this story. You can never just take gifts for granted; even if I am talented, I still have to write carefully and pay attention to what I'm doing and it's still very tough.

    I love movies (and stories) with twists in them, I love to be surprised and shocked!

    Me too :) I'm happy about this ending, but I'm mad that it's taking so long to actually get there. Still a few posts yet. Oy.

    I completely agree with you. You both should be on GL's payroll.

    Hmm, is he looking for someone to clean the toilets at Skywalker Ranch? Because I'll do that. I will.

    All the things Obi-Wan faces in his life, and he NEVER gives up. Yep, he is The Man!

    It's his biggest selling point, really. Well, that and the fact that he faces it all with a touch of wry humour.



    Greg

    I know you've been behind and really busy with other things. I'm so glad you took the time to write all those comments. And just for one chapter :eek: And then to take the time to talk about them on AIM for the customary hour or so... well, we're both insane, let's face it. Face it and savour it ;) Thanks bud [:D]


    -sj loves kevin spacey
  5. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Well, this is only part of this next chapter deal thing. I didn't get the whole post finished as I'd planned this weekend, but I didn't want to let it go a whole week without updating. Actually, I think it might be better to try to write smaller bits more frequently, so I don't get frozen up trying to write after a week of being out of the game... we'll see about that in the future.

    Hopefully, I'll finish this chapter before the week's up.

    *****

    The soft, familiar sound of swishing robes was the first thing he was aware of. Gentle light drifted through his eyelids, registering as a vague yellowish form on the black background. He was not too hot. He was not too cold. Though his torso and back were covered with protective healing bandages, his body didn?t ache now nearly as it had before.

    With the deep breath of waking, Obi-Wan opened his eyes. A thin face framed by greying curls looked down at him. He had been in the healer?s ward often enough to immediately know Healer Althein. It could not be said that he always enjoyed seeing her, as it had often been associated with pain and accompanied by lectures about being far too reckless with his own health. This time, Obi-Wan didn?t mind it at all. He was only happy to be home.

    The older woman gently checked the pulse in his wrist. Obi-Wan waited quietly as she moved his gurney into a more upright seated position. Only then did she make eye contact. ?Here I was beginning to think I was never going to have the privilege of gluing you back together again, Obi-Wan Kenobi,? she said with a shake of her head.

    ?You should have known better,? Obi-Wan replied. He remembered his frequent mishaps on missions, and he wouldn?t be surprised if Healer Althein recalled them even more clearly. She had an impeccable memory that hadn?t faded a bit with age.

    ?Bandages,? she stated simply, floating a tray of medical supplies to her side.

    Understanding procedure, Obi-Wan sat forward and slowly began shirking off the light ward tunic he?d been placed in. His right arm was quickly free, but the left presented more of a problem. Though the swelling in his shoulder had gone down, it was still painful to move and tensed up when he tried.

    Healer Althein placed a hand on the injured shoulder. The waves of the Force that easily emanated from her touch reflected decades of practice and were more effective than any artificial pain blocker. She shot him a reproachful look which turned his expression sheepish. ?I?m sure only you could tell me,? the old woman commented as she helped slide the tunic off his left arm, ?how one manages to strain practically all the ligaments in his shoulder at onces.?

    ?I was preventing myself and my padawan from falling,? he explained, resisting the strange urge to add ?ma?am? or ?master? in deference.

    ?From falling?? Althein asked as she began removing the bacta strips from Obi-Wan?s back.

    By her tone, he could tell she didn?t quite believe that was the whole story. ?Off the edge of a roof,? he admitted, catching her surprised expression before glancing away. It sounded ridiculous, he knew, and he felt a bit ridiculous.

    But the surprise faded quickly. ?Of course,? Althein commented dryly. She clicked her tongue lightly as she pulled off a few more of the bandages. When she discarded them in the reciprocal at Obi-Wan?s bedside, he could see that they were stained with a mixture of pus and blood. It did not look particularly good.

    ?How are they?? the Jedi asked, tilting his head sideways to look at the healer.

    ?They?ll take longer to heal than those cuts on your stomach will.? She nodded at the already scabbing thin lines running across his torso. ?I suppose you should know that the chemical which caused them turned out to be toxic as well as corrosive.?

    That confirmed his suspicions. No wonder he?d started to feel so off-kilter during his fight with Kala. He refused to believe that it could have been solely his Force and physical exhaustion. ?The burns themselves, though, are they bad??

    Obi-Wan obviously had no
  6. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Poor Obi... reflecting on Qui and then fixing to be the heart of 'media' fans. *snrk* hehehe at least that's what I'm thinking it might be. Hehehe some folks wanting to see the 'Jedi' that helped saved the kids. Thanks to Palps lil 'scene' and being on the scene of crime.

    Great job!! Can't wait for more :D
  7. Darth_Pixel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2003
    star 2
    Still having trouble eh? You'll get it done. All I have to say is: THE ORPHANS ARE VISITING THE TEMPLE!!! It'll never be the same again lol.

    Great job, can't wait for the next part.
  8. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Ooh, I really enjoyed this post. The healer knows of his unkillability! I think that's kind of funny.

    Ooh, is it the orphans who are visiting? I wonder. Poor Obi-Wan! I wonder what Filch will say.
  9. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh that'd be sweet if it is orphans coming to visit! Specially if Filch is there! ;)
  10. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    Yippeeee! You've posted again!

    Nice back-and-forth between the healer and Obi-Wan. Also nice to see Obi-Wan racking up the Frequent Wounded miles. Takes a lickin', but keeps on tickin'!
    ;)

    <Lisa raises hand> Me too, me too! I wanna see the orphans. I wanna see the Obi-Wan Fan Club.

    Listen, Punkin', these mini-posts are good, especially if they work out better for you. Hey, it's alllllllll good to me just as long as I get to "see" you once in a while.
  11. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    I'm about to retire back to the bed or couch as I'm home sick today. I just wanted to type up a few little replies here.

    Kynstar
    Well, you?ll just have to wait until, uh, whenever I get my thoughts together and finish this chapter I guess. Sorry about that. Anyone have a brick wall to bash my head into?


    Darth_Pixel

    Still having trouble eh? You'll get it done.

    Always having trouble, really :p And no time. Maybe today I can write in bed on some actual paper. We?ll see how that goes, though.



    Laine
    The healer knows of his unkillability! I think that's kind of funny.

    I was going to just have this opening part with the healer be really short, but as I was writing, my pesky characters demanded a bit of background. I mean, we all know that Obi-Wan (Son of James Bond, brother of Indiana Jones) has a knack for getting out of anything. But not without some scars :p

    Ooh, is it the orphans who are visiting? I wonder.

    I guess everyone has to wait until Obi-Wan finds out. It?s not some grand reveal? It never was meant to be a cliffhanger, really, I just couldn?t write anymore at the time ;)


    Lisa
    Yippeeee!

    Ah, my poor ears :eek: You?ve uttered the Dark Lord?s curse! ;)

    Also nice to see Obi-Wan racking up the Frequent Wounded miles.

    Yep. It?s not the years- it?s the mileage.

    <Lisa raises hand> Me too, me too! I wanna see the orphans. I wanna see the Obi-Wan Fan Club.

    I?m pretty sure *we* are the Obi-Wan fanclub. And no, I?m not writing all of you into the story just so you can visit Obi-Wan. And that?s final!

    these mini-posts are good, especially if they work out better for you. Hey, it's alllllllll good to me just as long as I get to "see" you once in a while

    Well it?s just incredibly frustrating to me because I?d like to ?see? you all and be able to write everyday but I can?t.


    -sj loves kevin spacey
  12. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    For your consideration...
    I was nominated by someone over a year ago to have an author interview. Well, it's finally come to pass. So to distract you from the fact that I have no new post for you yet, check out my interview if you like :p

    -sj loves kevin spacey
  13. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    Cool interview, sj. It's very nice to know that you're just as warped as the rest of us! :p

    And that Obi-Wan AA story...what a scream! Enjoyed it all immensely!
  14. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Yeah... I've been meaning to update that one so it's not in script format. I wrote it like that because it was 1am, but it really bugs me now :p


    *****

    Obi-Wan swung his legs out from under the covers and over the edge of the bed, his bare feet dangling just out of reach of the floor. If he were going to have visitors, he didn?t really want to receive them lying half-conscious in bed.

    Althein moved to the door and palmed it open. She stepped back as Filch and Anakin entered. Obi-Wan relaxed a little. At least it wasn?t Palpatine. The Jedi nodded silently to the boys. Only then did he see that there were more guests behind them. A pale skinned boy with bright red hair, a little Sullustan with large glassy eyes, a tiny Bothan who walked with a straight back, and a podgy dark-skinned human boy followed along in a tight cluster. Bringing up the rear of the orphan parade was Chai Katadoni.

    ?They desperately wanted to meet you,? Chai said warmly, though a little apologetically.

    Though taken aback, Obi-Wan managed to remember his manners and that these boys had been through a lot recently. ?It?s very good to see you all here safely,? he said. He half meant it. He was very glad they were safe, but his experiences with Filch caused him to slightly cringe at the thought of the havoc these boys may have been wreaking within the sacred walls of the Temple.

    As if on cue, Filch ran a finger down the wall. ?This place is so clean,? he commented, sounding unsure if this was a good or bad thing.

    ?It is a medical unit,? Althein commented.

    Filch barely gave her a glance before climbing up on to the end of Obi-Wan?s bed and plopping himself down in a cross-legged position. ?How you feeling?? he inquired casually, as though the Jedi had taken a bad step or had a stomach ache.

    ?Trodgus!? Chai cried in horror. ?Get down from there!?

    Under most circumstances, Obi-Wan would have been the one doing the yelling. But recalling the trauma Filch had been through lately, as well as his own partial fault in the boy?s kidnapping, Obi-Wan was just happy to see Filch acting his usual self. Although that gave Obi-Wan reason to keep an eye on the boy, lest he get close enough to do some unspeakable physical damage by accident.

    The Jedi gave Chai a permissive wave. To Filch, he replied, ?I?m feeling better.? Of course, considering how he had been feeling the last time he had been able to feel anything, this didn?t necessarily mean very much.

    The other boys didn?t seem to have any questions at the moment. Or at least they were too afraid to say anything if they did. They remained instead huddled near the door by Chai. They were all regarding him with a fair amount of awe, except the Sullustan, whose head was buried in the folds of Chai?s flowing skirt.

    Anakin could no longer hold his polite silence. ?I?ve been here all night, Master. I mean, I slept some, but you were in another room with the healers part of the time. And you were asleep the whole time, but I didn?t leave,? the boy insisted, as though that would have been a terrible offence.

    Obi-Wan smiled and let out an amused half-laugh. ?That?s assuring, young padawan,? he commented, perhaps a little too wryly. The boy reddened.

    Obi-Wan could sense Healer Althein?s rebuke through the Force, a reminder that he had hoped Anakin would be there when he awoke. He had expected it because it was what he?d always expected of Qui-Gon, and vice versa. But why, he wondered? Logically, it wasn?t as if they could do anything to help each other anyway. There certainly wasn?t anything accomplished by Anakin sitting watch at his side all night long. Still, Obi-Wan conceded that, had the roles been reversed, he would have undoubtedly done the same.

    The Bothan boy courageously took the opportunity to speak up. ?Is it true that you jumped between the roofs?? he asked, the fur on top of his head bristling in excitement.

    ?And you used the Force to chop up all those bumpy faced aliens?? the podgy child asked, encouraged by his friend breaking the silenc
  15. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Awww, poor Anakin!

    Bad Filch. (He didn't kill no Sith.) That must have hurt really bad.
  16. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Long is all right ;) I enjoyed it!!

    Boy did Anakin screw up on that bit... Sith indeed! :eek:

    Poor Obi... hope he gets to feeling better and can then talk to Anakin about it ;) hehehe but then again the young man will only hear what he wants to hear *tsk* *tsk* isn't that typical of teens anyhoo? ;)
  17. lvk1978 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2004
    star 3
    This post really got to me for some reason, sj. It was a long, sad weekend for Obi-Wan in my little corner of the world.

    Anakin could no longer hold his polite silence. ?I?ve been here all night, Master. I mean, I slept some, but you were in another room with the healers part of the time. And you were asleep the whole time, but I didn?t leave,? the boy insisted, as though that would have been a terrible offence.

    Obi-Wan smiled and let out an amused half-laugh. ?That?s assuring, young padawan,? he commented, perhaps a little too wryly. The boy reddened.


    See, it's stuff like this that really gets to me. Little misunderstandings can lead to great big gaping holes of anguish if not talked through. I liked Althein's rebuke, but Obi-Wan still didn't get it, did he?

    I enjoyed Obi-Wan's interaction with the orphans. The kids kind of in awe, Obi uneasy with their enthusiasm and praise.

    Master and padawan met eyes only briefly, but it was enough enhancement of their bond to give Anakin the distinct impression that Obi-Wan was not very pleased with his embellished storytelling.

    Uh-oh!

    The instant the door was closed, Obi-Wan let out a terse sigh. ?Healer Althein, would you mind giving my padawan and me a few moments alone??

    More uh-oh!

    Obi-Wan could plainly sense his uncertainty but could not have realised the real source. That Anakin felt guilty for having talked to Palpatine about it first never reached Obi-Wan?s mind. The boy hid it carefully. He didn?t think it was wrong- there were some things Obi-Wan just wasn?t very good at explaining. But Anakin certainly couldn?t tell him that.

    The Jedi Master, still fatigued by his injuries, was getting tired of this conversation. It wasn?t getting them anywhere but to frustration. Obi-Wan desperately wished that there were some way to immediately transfer all his knowledge and experience straight to Anakin?s brain. All of this explaining and long process of learning was incredibly wearying.

    But Anakin seemed thoroughly relieved for some reason. ?That?s good. I was worried I was going to mess everything up.?

    ?No, you didn?t. Not entirely,? Obi-Wan assured him. ?Though there was that roof jumping business. That you will need to work on,? he added, nodding to his injured left shoulder. In reality, it was Obi-Wan who felt guilt about having asked Anakin to attempt the jump at all. But there was no harm in teasing the boy every now and again, was there?

    It was meant as only teasing, but Anakin took practically everything Obi-Wan said to heart. As he closed the fresher door, the Jedi Master failed to notice his padawan?s injured and shamed expression.


    This stuff is golden, Kid. Goshdarnit, sj, you've managed to capture their relationship so well. It's all couldhave, shouldhave, wouldhave with these two. It's early yet, but my heart is breaking.
  18. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Laine
    Awww, poor Anakin!

    I?m glad to have readers who don?t just want to crucify the poor guy all the time. He?s got major issues, but then again, so does Obi-Wan ;)

    And yeah, Filch really has no idea what he?s talking about or how touchy a subject it is.


    Kynstar
    Boy did Anakin screw up on that bit... Sith indeed!

    The thing is, Anakin?s intentions at this point are entirely benevolent. It?s an example of how the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Almost literally. Actually, I think that?s a nice PT theme overall.

    Poor Obi... hope he gets to feeling better and can then talk to Anakin about it hehehe but then again the young man will only hear what he wants to hear

    There is that, but there?s also the fact that Obi-Wan just seems to refuse to talk about some things anyway. Communication needs to go two ways. With Obi-Wan and Anakin, it goes neither way ;)


    Lisa
    This post really got to me for some reason, sj. It was a long, sad weekend for Obi-Wan in my little corner of the world.

    Ah, well you know, maybe it has something to do with the fact that all authors get together and plan when they?re going to torture readers and characters. Just thought I?d mention that. I thought it was common knowledge.

    See, it's stuff like this that really gets to me. Little misunderstandings can lead to great big gaping holes of anguish if not talked through.

    It gets to me, too. We see it a lot in AotC. We also hear hints of the fact that Anakin and Obi-Wan are, despite this, close like family. Hopefully we?ll see more of all this in RotS. But it starts in TPM, really. It?s quite sad for both :(

    Obi-Wan still didn't get it, did he?

    I?m afraid not. He doesn?t realize that his little flippantly demeaning remarks sent in Anakin?s direction hit home because the boy?s sensitive. Obi-Wan is sarcastic and Anakin isn?t. I love the part in AotC when Anakin says ?Aim right above the fuel cells!? and the shot takes down the tower. Obi-Wan gives him a friendly, ?Good call,? and Anakin smiles. But when Obi-Wan adds, ?my young padawan? with that grin. Anakin?s expression falls. He looks like he?s taken this kind of ribbing before but still dislikes it.

    This stuff is golden, Kid. Goshdarnit, sj, you've managed to capture their relationship so well. It's all couldhave, shouldhave, wouldhave with these two.

    Thank you very much. It?s really nice to get a compliment like that, especially when a chapter like this drives me insane while writing it. I had a lot of trouble and spent a lot of time thinking about how to do this part. I?m glad you think it?s worked well. And yes, with these two, hindsight is everything.

    It's early yet, but my heart is breaking.

    Yeah? it?s not all angst, but I must say there?s still a good deal of heartbreaking to go [face_worried]

    Just remind yourself that it all works out in the end :) ? that?s a *really* long ways from here, but still ;)


    -sj loves kevin spacey
  19. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    I'm hoping to get the last two parts finished up this weekend... it's a three day one but that's not saying much considering the Super Bowl is Sundy and I'm having a party, I have to clean house, and I have 5 hours of one act rehearsals scheduled for Saturday. Oh, and homework. Lest we forget :p

    But I shall do my best. Just really anxious to get this one finished so we can move along :) (but mostly because I like these last two parts ;))

    -sj loves kevin spacey
  20. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Okay, sj, these two sections are gorgeous little gems. I'll try to do them justice despite the Skankiest Cold Evarrr which orders me to go back to bed after about 20 minutes of being awake.

    The soft, familiar sound of swishing robes was the first thing he was aware of. Gentle light drifted through his eyelids, registering as a vague yellowish form on the black background. He was not too hot. He was not too cold. Though his torso and back were covered with protective healing bandages, his body didn?t ache now nearly as it had before.

    Awwww . . . we've found Mr. "Don't let your personal feelings get in the way's" soft spot--home. I really liked the "soud effect" of swishing robes and how Obi-Wan seems to find them reassuring.

    With the deep breath of waking, Obi-Wan opened his eyes.

    I am quite certain that he's absolutely adorable here. It would cause him to expire if he knew, since he's terminally allergic to adorable, but I'm sure he's adorable anyway. [face_love]

    Understanding procedure, Obi-Wan sat forward and slowly began shirking off the light ward tunic he?d been placed in.

    Woo-hoo! SHIRTLESS AND ADORABLE OBI-WAN with bandages and an old lady BUT STILL!!!

    The waves of the Force that easily emanated from her touch reflected decades of practice and were more effective than any artificial pain blocker. She shot him a reproachful look which turned his expression sheepish.

    "There there, dear, have a Band-Aid. But don't you ever do anything that silly again, young man!!"

    This may be the only scene I've ever run across that has adult Obi-Wan interacting with a type of mother figure--and it's extremely cute without being out of character. That's quite a feat, considering the cuteness allergy mentioned above.

    I've spent a really enormous amount of my really enormous fic dealing with Obi-Wan's relationship with the Force and the Jedi Order in general, and I won't reiterate all 80,000 words of it here. Let it suffice to say that I think it makes sense for Obi-Wan to have a very innocent, trusting side to his personality, and for that side to come out under these circumstances.

    I'm not too sure why I haven't given Obi-Wan a mother figure, apart from his actual mother, whom he barely remembers. I think I've assigned the Force to that psychological role.

    Aaand I think I have to go back to bed now. I'll have to pick up again later.
  21. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Okay, sj, these two sections are gorgeous little gems.

    [face_blush] These feel like such nothing segments to me. I mean, they *should* be important sections in the context of the story, but they gave me so much trouble. It's worth it to know someone liked them, though :)

    we've found Mr. "Don't let your personal feelings get in the way's" soft spot--home.

    Yeah, I feel like if you'd been raised and lived the large majority of your life in one place, you'd be very happy to be back there. Especially when your job entails getting blown up and stuff.

    I really liked the "soud effect" of swishing robes and how Obi-Wan seems to find them reassuring.

    Thanks! I've gotten into the box of sound effects and have been playing. FWIW, I was hoping to contrast this nice, warm waking up with the silent stillness of his last unconciousness that was so rudely interupted by Palps ;)

    I am quite certain that he's absolutely adorable here.

    When is he not, really?

    It would cause him to expire if he knew, since he's terminally allergic to adorable, but I'm sure he's adorable anyway.

    I agree. But let's not clue him in. It's more fun this way, and no one gets detonated.

    ...for the record, I'm terrible at descriptive writing, so I think 'the deep breath of waking' is the best concise description I've ever come up with. That's never happening again, so enjoy it :p

    SHIRTLESS AND ADORABLE OBI-WAN with bandages and an old lady BUT STILL!!!

    In retrospect, I suppose this scene is kind of brought to you by Raiders of the Lost Ark. Only our dashing, wounded hero has an old doctor there to tend to him instead of Marion. Yep, that pretty well explains the differences between Obi-Wan and Indy.

    This may be the only scene I've ever run across that has adult Obi-Wan interacting with a type of mother figure

    Really? You know, I guess if I think about it, I haven't seen it before, either. I definitely wanted to have a character like that because we get so much fathers/sons and not enough of the female familial relaitonships in SW :p

    I tried to make Master Tyra in the second story a kind of much older sister or helpful aunt figure... but she's not back in the series much until later.

    I've spent a really enormous amount of my really enormous fic dealing with Obi-Wan's relationship with the Force and the Jedi Order in general...

    Have you *really*? :eek: I want to read that!

    Let it suffice to say that I think it makes sense for Obi-Wan to have a very innocent, trusting side to his personality, and for that side to come out under these circumstances.

    Well, obviously I agree ;) Too much sensative, trusting Obi-Wan in a fic really makes me sick at my stomach. It just isn't his way of showing things, and it makes the whole thing feel false to me. You have to hold back for those moments when it really matters, when he would really have a reason to be trusting or affectionate... this reminds me how much I need to reply to in SWoA :(

    I think I've assigned the Force to that psychological role.

    The Force has that caretaker role, but it isn't exactly nurturing enough to be a normal mother type. It 'loves' Obi-Wan in a sense, but the show of love is just as likely to be through a rebuke as through a blessing.

    No wonder Obi-Wan makes a lousy mom for Anakin. Just try comparing the Force to Shmi. Shmi is a lot more affectionate. And she makes much better cookies.

    I very much appreciate your comments. They always make me think, give me something to babble about, and make my day :) I especially appreciate it when you're so sick. I hope you can rest and get well.

    -sj loves kevin spacey
  22. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    sj wrote: they gave me so much trouble.

    Emotional, relationship scenes = evil. They just take forever to write--at least for me.

    I'm terrible at descriptive writing, so I think 'the deep breath of waking' is the best concise description I've ever come up with.

    It is indeed very nice, although you've come up with others just as good.

    Really? You know, I guess if I think about it, I haven't seen it before, either. I definitely wanted to have a character like that because we get so much fathers/sons and not enough of the female familial relaitonships in SW

    Well, I gave Obi-Wan a "sister" . . . :p Of course, I did that because I needed some kind of mentor figure for him, but didn't want to repeat the father/son dynamic, since much of that fic is about Obi-Wan copes with being a "son" who's lost his "father."

    But yeah, after AOTC came out and people wanted to talk about "deep" Star Wars stuff for 2 seconds, I tried starting a thread about the mythic role of the Skywalker women. Luke and Vader's relationship gets all the press, but what about Shmi, Padmé, and Leia?

    THe response I got was underwhelming. At any rate, Obi-Wan's character works suprisingly well with a mother figure. Maybe we should make that the next Obi-Wan characterization thread topic--why the hell doesn't Obi-Wan have a mother?!

    ::Has mental image of Obi-Wan walking out of a bar where the floor is littered with severed limbs, and Mom saying, "You get right back in there and clean that up, young man! We do *not* leave arms and legs lying all over somebody else's building. And while you're at it, put your hood up. It's cold outside."::

    Too much sensative, trusting Obi-Wan in a fic really makes me sick at my stomach. It just isn't his way of showing things, and it makes the whole thing feel false to me. You have to hold back for those moments when it really matters, when he would really have a reason to be trusting or affectionate...

    I like to think of the Jedi as putting things in boxes. (No, not working at UPS, although that would give a whole new meaning to, "What can brown do for you?") They have emotions, but they steer them into little compartments where they'll stay quiet and contained until there's time to deal with them. I actually like the idea of there being a kind of dedicated no-questions-asked meditation room somewhere in the Temple, where you just don't acknowledge anybody else in there and don't comment on anything they're doing. (Short of, you know, killing everyone in a Jedi purge.) If someone's over in the corner, crying in a fetal ball, you ignore it. It is officially Not Happening. If that person wanted attention, they wouldn't have come there, so mind your own beeswax.

    When a person steps out of the room, all normal rules of Jedi conduct apply again. All the bad stuff stays behind--literally in the box. I read somewhere that there are tribal societies that have rules like that . . . you paint yourself up a certain way for seven days after a loved one dies, and during that time it's just assumed you're half-way in the world of the dead, and not quite in your right mind. People just kind of step around you while you wail and tear your garments or do whatever it is you're going to do. Once the seven days are up, you wash the paint off, you act normal, and nobody mentions any of it again. Ever. I can't decide if that's healthier or sicker than the way our society deals with death.

    Anyway . . . that sort of mentality was my way around the SW fanfic author's perennial problem: How do you write interesting stories about people with a religious objection to emotion?

    The Force has that caretaker role, but it isn't exactly nurturing enough to be a normal mother type. It 'loves' Obi-Wan in a sense, but the show of love is just as likely to be through a rebuke as through a blessing.

    What, saying, "Put your hood up, it's cold outside" isn't love? ;) Obi-Wan's lucky that the Force tells him "no" as often as it does. He may be a snot, but at
  23. Psycho-Freak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 4
    I finally caught up!

    Well, as not to repeat what everyone else has said I 'll just say that those last chapters were great stuff, especially the last one. That one felt special somehow, excelent portrayal of the relationship beween those two. :)

    P-F
  24. Terr_Mys Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 6
    Comments for the last update:

    ?They desperately wanted to meet you,? Chai said warmly, though a little apologetically. Heh, nice description of her tone there. I can definitely see/hear Chai...as whatever actress we decided she was. I can't even remember her name, after all that trouble. :( Definitely the old nanny / orphange-owner type, though. :)

    ?It?s very good to see you all here safely,? he said. He half meant it. He was very glad they were safe, but his experiences with Filch caused him to slightly cringe at the thought of the havoc these boys may have been wreaking within the sacred walls of the Temple. [face_laugh] 'within the sacred walls of the Temple'...lol. Gotta love OW ;). Of course, this also captures his dual nature--elitism and sympathy for the less fortunate. Reminds me of a couple people I know, actually. Your wording is just so perfectly hilarious, though ;). It's all O-W.'s fault!

    As if on cue, Filch ran a finger down the wall. Haha...nice. ;) The tone of OW's narration is just dry and sarcastic enough to really accent the hilarity of Filch's 9-year-old boy character. And Filch just doesn't waste any time at being himself.

    ?This place is so clean,? he commented, sounding unsure if this was a good or bad thing.

    ?It is a medical unit,? Althein commented.
    Hahah...I like the character contrast. ;)

    Filch barely gave her a glance before climbing up on to the end of Obi-Wan?s bed and plopping himself down in a cross-legged position. ?How you feeling?? he inquired casually, as though the Jedi had taken a bad step or had a stomach ache. [face_laugh] You definitely deserved an award for Filch. I usually don't like child characters, but only because they're often written wrong. Filch is awesome, though ;). Of course it probably helps you to maintain OW's POV. Writing in a child's POV is even harder (although you've done well with Anakin :p), but it's so much funnier seeing things through OW's eyes. ;)

    Under most circumstances, Obi-Wan would have been the one doing the yelling. But recalling the trauma Filch had been through lately, as well as his own partial fault in the boy?s kidnapping, Obi-Wan was just happy to see Filch acting his usual self. Although that gave Obi-Wan reason to keep an eye on the boy, lest he get close enough to do some unspeakable physical damage by accident. Haha...I love OW's wording. ;) This is what I was talking about. So Brit-witty.

    To Filch, he replied, ?I?m feeling better.? Of course, considering how he had been feeling the last time he had been able to feel anything, this didn?t necessarily mean very much. Don't you think people might find OW slightly less austere if he shared these wry comments out loud all the time? [face_laugh]

    Anakin could no longer hold his polite silence. ?I?ve been here all night, Master. I mean, I slept some, but you were in another room with the healers part of the time. And you were asleep the whole time, but I didn?t leave,? the boy insisted, as though that would have been a terrible offence.

    Obi-Wan smiled and let out an amused half-laugh. ?That?s assuring, young padawan,? he commented, perhaps a little too wryly. The boy reddened.
    Ok...what I said earlier about people liking OW more when he shares his wry comments out loud...maybe not all the time. :) Anyway, I understand what you're trying to do in this section, incorporating Anakin's feelings (without using his POV *directly*), but it's not clear whether, for example, OW noticed Anakin's face reddening. Or if that's just an all-seeing perspective. I'm inclined to think that OW saw it himself, since the POV is usually limited, but I just want to make sure because you've done a little more POV-jumping-around lately ;). Either way, though, the reader gets the picture. And OW's wryness *is* funny ;). You do really capture Anakin's loyalty there, though, and then OW kind of unintentionally...crushes his padawan :). Ouch. I could feel that. Anakin just wants to feel like he belongs. I think that's one of the major soci
  25. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Oy! You people are insane (especially *you* Gregory) 8-} You have no idea how wonderful all your support makes me feel nor how much your comments make me think.

    I shall have to get back to you all on this soon, now that I'm back in town. But it's midnight and I should be going to bed.

    I'm very sorry about the delay on this next update. I left my writing at school and lost the only time I had to type it up last week then I was gone all weekend :( Hopefully this should be wrapping up soon, though. Don't want to keep you waiting too long for the end.

    I'm glad this most recent section has been well-received, though. It was special and important for me, too :)

    -sj loves kevin spacey
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