Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Since we're all gonna be waiting a few months for any substantial info, let's pass the time here. I'll go first!

    My buddy's gardener who knows a guy who knows Michael Arndt acupuncturist says that Yoda is totally gonna be back in Episode 7!

    And my comic book store owner knows a guy who knows a source who works in Lucasfilm catering that Solo dies in the first 7 minutes!
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012
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  2. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    There's also what I heard from a tree that knows Timothy Zhan that Ben Skywalker (who hasn't been mentioned in the entire ST) is going to show up and climatically save the day at the end of Episode 9, decapitating the bad guy and smirking at the camera and saying "Thought you all forgot about me, huh?" Luke hugs him and smiles proudly, "That's my boy!" All of the other surviving characters main characters who were the protagonists for the last 3 movies look around confused and awkwardly stare at their shoes. Roll credits.
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    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012
  3. battlefrontboy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2012
    star 1
    It's set 1 year after ROTJ, 100% CGI. R2 dies, is rebuilt, dies again. Luke clones, wookie droids, the new republic builds a new death star called the life star. Source: my aunt dyes the green screens green
  4. Darth_Articulate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2012
    star 4
    I have tape recorders under George Lucas's bed and the other night in his sleep, he could be heard mumbling "come back, Dak...cooome baaaack". Put this together with the fact that in the 3D Episode 5, they're having Dak survive, and it's fairly certain that Dak will feature prominently in Episode 7. Originally, he was meant to be "the other", but the actor playing Dak could not appear in Return of the Jedi to be revealed as Luke's brother (3D ROTS is now having Padme give birth to triplets and 3D ROTJ is adding Dak as Luke's brother, whom he confronts in the Ewok Village instead of Leia. Dak also asked Han to hold him after the talk)
    Last edited by Darth_Articulate, Dec 15, 2012
  5. Echo-07 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2012
    star 4
    Dak, LOL, now there's a name that hasn't been mentioned for resurrection. Good job!
  6. chris hayes Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2012
    star 4
    I put a minute camera & microphone on a fly & this fly was in the meeting room for EP7 as Lucas & co were nutting out EP7.....The title is : The Clone of Anakin
    ...Anakin Skywalker is Cloned & comes back as a 9yo boy ....Jake Loyld's face is recreated so he looks 9 again ....In the film he dances with Ewoks & this time falls in love with a female Gungan .....Luke Skywalker comes on screen for 1 minute & 20 seconds to give Anakin his Lightsaber & tells Anakin not to turn to the dark side this time ! .
    Last edited by chris hayes, Dec 16, 2012
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  7. Bosskkkk Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2012
    Truncated Timeline (lol)
  8. LANDO_ROCKS Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2002
    star 4
    IG-88 and Boassk have a homosexual robot/creature romance, just to appease the most crazy shippers of all.
  9. Buddha Fett Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 18, 1999
    star 4
    Director of Episode 7 confirmed! Peter Jackson announces his involvement, and reveals Episode 7 will be extended to three films!
    He also suggested the films will be presented entirely in audio, saying the audience would just close their eyes and imagine what was happening to allow for the most realistic visual experience ever witnessed on the big screen. Directors cut is said to add an additional 27 minutes of silence.
  10. Lando's Little Maneuver Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2012
    star 2
    Rick McCallum told me the reason he left is because they're going re-write Wookies in Episode VII to be 3 foot teddy bears called Ewoks.

    Hang on, no, it's 1982 right? No, well I'm sure Ewoks turned out to be a popular choice anyway.
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  11. KilroyMcFadden Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2012
    star 3
    It's going to start between esb and rotj and run through 20 years ABY. It will focus in the big three, and it will be a romcom, according to my cousin who has, like, every SW toy ever made.
    Last edited by KilroyMcFadden, Dec 16, 2012
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  12. yggdrasil311 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2004
    star 2
    In a scene mirroring Jabba's palace scene from Return of the Jedi, Smash hit Korean pop singer Psy due to make feature film debut in the untitled Episode VIII movie. He will star as the new lead for the Max Rebo Band. Simultaneously debuting his new single 'Gangnam Style 2: Super Hyper Turbo Championship Funfun Edition'
  13. yggdrasil311 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2004
    star 2
    Don't forget the new Luke/Dak lip lock added scene before his trip to Dagobah in ESB
  14. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    One time I heard this rumor from my dual psychic connection with Ben Burt & the guy who did pants fabric modeling for Jar-Jar Binks in TPM that a major plot twist in Ep. 8 involves Luke Skywalker in a bowling alley as he drunkenly slurs and yells at his apprentice about how he was able to siphon off the guy's rich spice mine supply, using the analogy "I. DRINK. YOUR. (blue). MILKSHAKE!!! I DRINK IT UP!"
  15. chris hayes Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2012
    star 4
    Breaking the trilogy its actually going to be set between EP5 & EP6 called EP7 - 1.5 EP8 - 1.25 & EP9 - 1.15 .....most of it will concern a race called the Teddy bears & no they are not Ewoks bu look alot like them ....unfortunatly there is a very dark element to this trilogy " Luke makes love to Leia " before he realises she is his sister !!!! & after the trilogy is done they re-cut a sceen from EP6 where Luke vomits all over Obi-Wan ghost when he finds out who is sister is .....I swear this info come from a deep source inside the Disney offices .
  16. Adrian the Cool Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2012
    star 3
    Not so long ago on the planet Tiara located in another dimension in a way that physical distance doesn't matter now...

    WAR! The good JAINATOPOLITAN EMPIRE* is at open war with the evil TRIUMVIRAT OF EVIL*. In an insidious strike at Dec 22nd 2011, DIE FETTE I. THE EVIL OF DIEFETTELAND TO NEHMEN attacked JAINATOPOLIS, the capital of the ALLIANCE OF GOOD NATIONS.

    Her feared cyborg general Willfried Kleinhaus himself kidnapped PRESIDENT MAGDALENA I. OF JAINATOPOLIS and VICE PRESIDENT ADRIAN THE COOL. Taken captives onboard her giant airship, through torture, psychic powers like other stange stuff they turned evil... well... hm... now, SUPREME DARK LORD KITTIAN NIGHTMAKER, together with FIFIEENIS OF KATRINON and DIE FETTE try to ultimatively defeat the Empire by using an armada of evil several hundreds of meters high muscular sheeps!

    But Magdalena and Adrian managed to escape to save the city and the planet [INSERT COOL-SOUNDING NAME]. The Siege of Jainatopolis now lasts for one entire year, it seems the forces of darkness will win. There is only one hope for the Empire. Two cows are sitting on a tree. One falls down and breaks her bones, says the other: "This can't happen to me, my mother owns a general store!"

    On December 17th, Die Fette is standing on the bridge of her airship and talking to the entire world via live TV broadcast: "Hear me, sentients of this planet and praise your new Dark Lord! You have nothing to hinder me, Jainatopolis will be conquered like and then you will have to surrender! Harharhar! Ellatown has been captured already, Erdbeerland cannot withstand my attacks any further. Magdalena... thy empire shall falll! I hate thee more than everything else that exists or is fiction! Adrian the Cool... come and join me! I feel great power in thee, come to THE FORCES OF EVIL and thou will have the chance to create a world just as thou want it (he seems to be naive enough to believe me)! The Jainatopolitan Empire hath failed! Besides... On the planet EARTH in the SOL SYSTEM new STAR WARS movies are going to be made! EPISODE VII's release date is in 2015! And you know what... Earth is my homeplanet and because this is some sort of like strange space fantasy everybody on a planet knoweth everybody and I heard from my brother DER FETTE that it ANNIHILATEST THE ENTIRE POST-ENDOR EXPANDED UNIVERSE! SUPERSHADOW WRITEST THE SCRIPT AND MERCHANDISE WILL BE AVIABLE FOR FREE!"

    The inhabitants of the entire world are shocked and nobody knows what to say, while Magdalena and Adrian are talking nonsense to defeat the Triumvirat of Evil, save the Jainatopolitan Empire free the world from evil and so on... you know...

    Edit: Oh holy Celestials of Mortis, what did I write?

    OK, there is something about a dark lord who knows a bit about the Star Wars sequels.
    Last edited by Adrian the Cool, Dec 16, 2012
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  17. krtmd Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2012
    star 4
    Episode VII will be set right after ROTJ, featuring the original actors playing themselves at a much younger age. There will be no CGI.

    I had to "touch" Mickey for this information.
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  18. Trask Ulgo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2012
    star 3
    OH BOY
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  19. Adrian the Cool Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2012
    star 3
    Mickey Suttle, lawyer in Baltimore, Maryland?
    Last edited by Adrian the Cool, Dec 16, 2012
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  20. krtmd Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2012
    star 4
    That's the guy. He told me he was THE mouse at Disney.

    You don't think he lied to me, do you?
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  21. Adrian the Cool Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2012
    star 3
    No, even if it's not true by now what he says, he has the ability to warp the fabric of reality and make true all he writes on his homepage.
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  22. DarthBoba Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2000
    star 9
    Stickied. This place needs some humor.
  23. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    My cousin's former roommate's step brother's pastor's son works for lucas films. joel schumaker will direct. Jarjar and the stir whip lady from the holiday special play a major role. the main chatacter is their offspring, played by supershadow. lucas is set to do a cameo as the owner of a flannel shop. Half of the cast will wear flannel. all flannel worn in the film shall be from george's personal collection. gl and carrie fisher shall appear in flannel underwear. the entire soundtrack shall be music by rebecca black
  24. Bender666 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 2012
    star 2
    Mr. Snuffleupagus has been hired to play a bantha in the new films. He's got nothing better to do right now.
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  25. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    You know how angry cat pictures are all the rage on the Internet for some reason? Well Lucasfilm is trying yet again for a wacky, animal/alien sidekick. It's still in pre-production now but it's a combination of Jar-Jar Binks/ Chewbacca if he was a cat instead of a dog / it's voice sounds like a bagpipe being strangled by a walrus in heat. Like I said, very, very pre-production right now but those 3 criteria have to be met. The point is eventually people can post angry new ST sidekick character images and Lucasfilm makes a profit. This is a totally reliable source because I am really George Lucas.
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