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Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.


    STARBOB Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Dec 11, 2002
    Darth Obama will be the main villain.
  2. Son of a Bith

    Son of a Bith Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 28, 2013
    Before the fall:
    BigAl6ft6 and STARBOB like this.
  3. Darth Dru

    Darth Dru Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 1, 2013
    Are Crosscurrent, Riptide, and FOTJ EU stories along these lines?
  4. Drunk Jedi

    Drunk Jedi Jedi Youngling

    Mar 21, 2013
    smoking pot high Quinlan Vos as Johnny Depp
    Captain Rex in steroids as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
    Hot and Sexy Ahsoka Tano as Beyonce Knowles
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  5. Darth Vader's Chest Plate

    Darth Vader's Chest Plate Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 18, 2013
    Following the pattern of the first 6 films will see a "baddie" in the upper hand at the end of Ep IX

    Ep I - Sith are shown to have started the plans to bring about the Empire - Upperhand=Baddies
    Ep II - Jedi & Clones save the day - Upperhand=Goodies
    Ep III - Vader is created, Jedi die, Empire is born - Upperhand=Baddies
    Ep IV - Death Star blown up - Upperhand=Goodies
    EP V - Han frozen, Luke lost hand, Upperhand=Baddies
    EP VI - Death star II blown up, Emporer dies, Upperhand=Goodies
    EP VII Upperhand=Baddies
    EP VIII - Upperhand=Goodies
    EP IX - Upperhand=Baddies

  6. Jedi_Liz

    Jedi_Liz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Apr 24, 2000
    Is there only going to be one sequel trilogy? That would be a bad way to end a star wars franchise...with the bad guys winning. [face_plain]
    (I hated Episode 3 and its the one Star wars movie I do NOT own)

    Oh, I have another scoop!

    There will be a spin off movie set before Episode 1 and it will be called Jedi Academy Musical.
    It will feature a young obi-wan, and other young jedi that were in his "class" when he was a Padawan learner.
    During Lightsaber training lessons, they will break out in song and start dancing.
    Qui Gon will dance something that looks like Irish River Dancing. Mace Windu will breakdance. Yoda will do the Y-O-D-A
    Sum-Wan likes this.
  7. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Nov 12, 2012
    Fred Durst just hit me over the head and said that the soundtrack will feature entirely tracks off "Significant Other".
  8. chris hayes

    chris hayes Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 13, 2012
    I went Deep under cover at Disney & found out that EP7 will focus entirely on Han & Leia's wedding from the Stag Night right through to guest's arriving , the ceremony , speeches , dancing & everything you can imagine ....alot of the movie will be done with hand held camera's so you get right in the wedding action ....Episode VII : My Big Fat Star Wars Wedding...........
    BigAl6ft6 and Jedi_Liz like this.
  9. DarthRelaxus

    DarthRelaxus Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Apr 23, 2007
    More or less.
  10. ForceJumpAnakin

    ForceJumpAnakin Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 24, 2006
    [face_monkey] Coco the Hutt
    [face_cow] Obi-Wan Cownobi
    [face_clown]Bozo Fett
  11. Ryus

    Ryus Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 25, 2013
    Just recieved some shocking news from Kathleen Kennedy, since all there money will be focused on Episode 7 they cant afford to pay John Williams to compose original music. So they've setteled on scoring it to Abba songs hoping to cash in like Momma Mia did and plan to market as a Star Wars you can take your girlfriend to or a Momma Mia movie you can take your boyfriend to based on what channel you watch the commercial on.

    Another source hinted It will be an original story taking place after RotJ of just how Han and Leia get hitched.
  12. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Nov 12, 2012
    BusinessWeek just reported that Lucasfilm cutbacks are getting so severe that they can't afford the word "Episode" or even the word "Lucas" So therefore the new movie being released will be called "7: Jedi Stuff" and a "Film" production!
    lbr789 likes this.
  13. Bobatron

    Bobatron Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2012
    Disney will take the opportunity to make a successful remake of The Black Hole by turning its concept into a "standalone" STAR WARS movie.
  14. Jedsithor

    Jedsithor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 2005
    Is it strange that I could see them actually doing that?

    EXCLUSIVE!!! An interview with the Maker himself in next month's Empire magazine reveals baddie of sequel trilogy.

    EMPIRE: So the Sith are gone, right? So there'll be a new villain?
    GEORGE LUCAS: Not entirely new.
    E: So the Emperor is coming back?.
    GL: No. But the villain...I don't know what I can say...I mean you've seen him before.
    E: In one of the movies?
    GL: Yeah
    E: Can I ask which one?
    GL: Uh, the first one.
    E: A New Hope? So it's like Tarkin or someone?
    GL: No, Episode 1. It's not Jar Jar.
    E: Well Darth Maul was recently brought back in Clone Wars...
    GL: It's not him. It's...well I really shouldn't say, it's J.J.'s's uh, Valorum.
    E: The Chancellor...Terence Stamp?
    GL: was all part of his plan. He knew he couldn't hold on to office. Palpatine was his puppet. Valorum is the true Sith Master.
    E: But what about the rule of two?
    GL: A lie to deceive the Jedi. It's in the novelisation of A New Hope where it says that Palpatine was a pawn. I've been planning this for decades. Valorum stepped down, Palpatine took over but Valorum has been in the shadows, pulling the strings. He knew about Anakin. And Luke. He knew the Emperor would die. So when he left, he went outside the galaxy and built a massive Sith army.
    E: Wow. But Terence Stamp said he didn't like working on Star Wars so I guess he won't be back?
    GL: I told him to say that. I told him he'd have to wait 15 years for the good stuff but I needed him in Episode 1. He'll be back.
    E: So haven't been making it up as you go along? This was all part of the original plan in 1975?
    GL: Of course it was. Valorum was in my original draft as Prince Valorum who was a Sith. I took him out and replaced him with Darth Vader because I came up with the idea of the long game. All the clues were there. In fact I almost gave it away in the late 70's when I talked about sequel trilogies and defining good and evil. Valorum is the ultimate evil. And he's older than Yoda. He was there when the old Jedi Knights beat the Sith and nearly wiped them out. This is all part of his grand plan for revenge.
    E: What is his grand plan? To destroy the Jedi once and for all? The Republic?
    GL: To destroy the Force. But to do that he has to destroy all life. But to do that he has to master the very thing he wants to destroy so he can manipulate the universe and change history.
    E: Wait so the changes in the Special Editions...
    GL: Are Valorum testing his ability to rewrite history. The difference between Han and Greedo shooting first, young Anakin appearing at the end of Episode 6, replacing Yub Nub. It's all part of the story, part of Valorum's story.
    E: That's....that's genius.
    GL: Yes. Yes it is.

    There are only two words to describe this revelation - HOLY SITH! :eek:
    kubricklynch, BigAl6ft6 and lbr789 like this.
  15. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Fearless Vampire Killer star 8 Staff Member Manager

    Aug 19, 2003
    You really like that video, don'tcha? Once per every single thread may be enough to ensure we all see it. Again.
    kubricklynch and DarthRelaxus like this.
  16. LAJ_FETT

    LAJ_FETT Tech Admin and Collecting/Lucasfilm Ltd Mod star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    May 25, 2002
    Don't worry - we've noticed.
  17. StoneRiver

    StoneRiver Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 6, 2004
    A first for Star Wars. Keep it hush now.

    We actually see Chewie taking a "number 2", but he does it on the floor. (See, for the first time we will see that the people of SW do indeed go to the toilet, but unfortunately not use the bathroom)
    Then it is "scooped" up and "fabricated" in tissue before being flushed away.

    Remember, SSSSHHHH [face_shhh]
    Sum-Wan likes this.
  18. princessnikki

    princessnikki Jedi Knight star 1

    Nov 8, 2012
    And I heard that Stifler from American Pie was going to be introduced as Han's Best Man!
  19. DarthRelaxus

    DarthRelaxus Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Apr 23, 2007
    Also, Leia rubs his nose in it and swats him with a rolled up newspaper.
    Sum-Wan likes this.
  20. Grilled Hutt

    Grilled Hutt Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 24, 2003
    Disnian spies have reported that the elite 501st, the dreaded Vaders Fist, have retreated with a shaman of the whills into the far reaches of the galaxy to restore balance to the force. Thats all i can tell you.
  21. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Nov 12, 2012
    Rob Riner just kicked down the door to Bad Robot productions and hog-tied JJ Abrams, stole his glasses, and tossed him in the basement. He's now running around with a wig and JJ's eyewear, trying to grab the script and change Episode 7 into a 2 hour anti-smoking infomercial with lightsabers, yelling "I'm JJ Abrams! Gimmie the script, I just gotta tweak it a bit." In response, Micheal Arndt has decided to take the script and start running for the hills. It's all very silly.
    lbr789 and DarthRelaxus like this.
  22. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Nov 20, 2012
    Episode VII will have a blooper reel at the end.
    DarthRelaxus likes this.
  23. DarthRelaxus

    DarthRelaxus Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Apr 23, 2007
    It worked for The Cannonball Run.
  24. Sum-Wan

    Sum-Wan Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 16, 2013 the tune of the Benny Hill Show
    BigAl6ft6 and DarthRelaxus like this.
  25. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Nov 20, 2012
    Nic Cage will play every single character, voice every single being, and his freakouts will be used as the new soundtrack for the ST.