Discussion in 'Star Wars: Episode VII - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.
Wedge has gotta eat!
... And speaking of scoops... I was at a Ben and Jerrys and I could hardly make out what the cashier with saying but I could have sworn that he said that... "Ice Cream Maker Guy would be taking care of the appetite of both the space slug and the spawn of Porkins."
Darth Plagueis did not die. Sidious was duped into believing this. Darth Maul was betrayed by Sidious, after being on the back-burner to Vader. Plagueis finds Maul, makes him new apprentice. We don't see Plagueis in Episode VII, but we do see Maul do some seriously heinous stuff. At the hands of a survived Boba Fett, The Falcon is destroyed, with Chewie (who is alive sorry EU fans) and Han on-board. We find out Fett and Maul are working together. Luke and the new apprentices, Jacen, Jaina and Ben, hunt down Boba Fett on a new planet, who Jacen Solo kills in a rage. Boba gives up a bit about new Sith plot in dying breath, names location to find Darth Maul, doesn't mention Plagueis because Fett doesn't know about Plagueis. Luke tracks down Maul with Mara, deciding the Solo twins and his son Ben should stay back with Leia (mainly because Luke is still concerned about Jacen killing Fett) Maul is confronted and overwhelmed by Luke and Mara, so he flees like a Sith coward. Maul gets away. Luke and Mara return with the bad news to Leia, still grieving. Luke chastises Jacen for using his anger about the death of his father and seeking revenge and killing Fett. Jacen questions Luke's authority. Funeral scene of Han Solo and Chewbacca "rhymes" with award scene of A New Hope, and Qui-gon's funeral in TPM. Award scene, at New Jedi Temple, Master Luke awards the padawans with "knighthood". End Credits.
In Episode VIII we get: a first glimpse of Darth Plagueis towards the end of that movie, in the beginning of which Maul is finally destroyed, and we begin to see the fall of Jacen Solo, tempted by Plagueis (sorry again EU continuity fans). Luke seeks out fabled warrior in holocron of Obi-wan's. Goes on mission with Ben to far away system, "rhyming" with trip to Dagobah in ESB. There Luke and Ben find an old former Jedi, named Ahsoka Tano. She agrees to rejoin the Jedi Order upon hearing about the Sith's return, she knows where more Jedi in hiding are. Luke and Mara help rebuild the Jedi order. Jacen falls further under Plagueis's lure. Leia is almost killed at Senate building on Coruscant during "terrorist" bombing. End of movie, Plagueis explains the "Rule of Two" of Darth Bane to Jacen, as he shows him a huge door, Jacen says he knows of it, and As Plagueis says, "I abandoned that out-dated nonsense, the huge door opens, and Jacen sees dozens of Sith in training, crimson-bladed light sabers clashing everywhere his eye can see, Plagueis asks him, "You do want to be on the winning side of history, don't you boy?"
This leads into Episode IX which is a final battle between the Sith and Jedi, on Coruscant (very TOR), people sacrifice themselves, you can guess who dies for the greater good, who realizes the betrayal of their brother, etc. In the end the good guys win. Mara, with the help of an old Ahsoka, Ben Skywalker and Jaina Solo, honor Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, at his Jedi funeral pyre, echoing the funeral of Anakin Skywalker in ROTJ. Chancellor Leia gets approval for a new mandate to reinstate the Jedi Order officially as the guardians of the New Republic. End Credits.
Where's Mace Windu?
All the props in the movie will actually be already manufactored toys that will be available in the the movie theaters lobby for purchase right after seeing the movie. You'll get a discount for every 20 Episode VII movie stubs you turn in, the discount will be greatest for those who saw it in 3d all 20 times.
Forgot to post my April Fool's scoop. ;-)
Sean Callery's score (for one of the spinoffs)
will be at least as good as the best of "24":
This just in, Jodo Kast to appear in Episode 7! As Chewbacca! And Chewbacca's Force Ghost will possess the body of ... Mara Jade? Source? Troy Denning just ate an entire plateful of acid and is whispering things into J.J. Abrams' ear while he sleeps.
My six year old niece says that Yoda is the best ever. So Yoda's coming back guys!
Many geek spies died to bring me this information and it's a doozy... it will resolve the answers in some of this forum's threads, like:
What will the title of Episode 7 be? it will be "Star Wars Ep. VII: The Space Sharks"
Whose the baddie? It will be a group of laser shootin', space flyin' SHARKS... yes, SHARKS.
the leaked concept art for the new movie proves this
It really doesn't get any better than that!
This is the leader of the gang! ^
And we need to learn more about them, so here's some facts:
Not exactly a movie leak spoiler but a source just informed me saying they saw part of an email that stated Disney is forcing the plaid one to wear something else for Star Wars Day, my source believes this means we'll get an announcement that day concerning the 'big three' at the very least... that or they want him to dress up as a Tauntaun and carry Kathleen Kennedy and/or JJ Abrams on his back to the podium. My source is pretty sure it's the first though.
I sneaked into Peter Jackson's desk and found that supposed script. It turns out tyler perry is directing Episode VIII: Madea's jedi training. Here are a few lines:
May Fersh be with yer.
This is arter deteer and cee three pierr.
Welcome to Dantooint.
Yer from Tatooint?
So... due to the quality of the dialog I take it Lucas co-wrote it with Tyler Perry?
The first 35 minutes of the movie are going to be Jessica Alba washing the windshield of the Millenium Falcon in a wet soapy tank top and bikini bottoms. The movie will shatter box office records
I know a guy who knows the cousin of an important member of Lucasfilm who says that The Sith Empire is supposed to come back in a big way that Star Wars fans would never dream possible. Revan is also supposed to impact this movie in some small way as well.
I have it from good source that the new film will be modeled after what is happening in the new Dallas series. Luke's kid are gonna be jealous about Han's kids. Family torn apart and generally Backstabbing each other with lightsaber. Palpy's son will come in the picture and orchestrate the whole thing from the get go to win the galaxy over and continue where is daddy left.
Mace Windu will come back with bionic arms as his falls was stopped by a taxi while he was falling , he simply went into hiding to heal in a bacta tank.
There will be a big fight at the end of the film and all the guys will wear helmets bearing the mickey mouse logo. At frame 19850 of the film there will be an inserted frame that will tell you to go buy another copy of Toy Story and order the disney chanel.
But i foresee another event.
" Disney cancels Star Wars" period....
Just heard from a trusted LFL source that they just re-hired Seth Green to make a new Detours, this one making fun of all the EU they'll be canceling. The idea being to train the new and upcoming potential fans to ignore the pro EU whinners complaining Disney just butchered their childhood because this new show is so funny that the people who liked those stories must be crazy.
My source gave me a list of some of the cut content which will be made fun of, which includes: the Vong, a very long list of Kevin J Anderson stuff, Dark Nest, Wrath Squadron, most of the Marvel comic but oddly not all of them, Dark Empire (I cried a bit there), Bakura, and the list included elements of other books such as Mara and Vader dueling from Allegance and most of the Hand of Thrawn books (seems Thrawn doesnt die or their just unwilling to conjure up a fake one to scare the New Republic, but the Chriss seem in)
Of course I couldnt help but notice what was absent from that EU list, so I asked my source for more detail in regards to other EU events. The responce back was that they plan to release this new Detours not in TV episodes but in a few short skits during the comercials (to stop people from fast forwarding their DVRs past them) of this new animated show which will take place between episode VI and VII and will fill in the gaps.
The list given to me was a listing of what needed to be dumped, my source then stated that the writing process is ongoing for the show and factors like Ford not yet having signed on as Han in Episode VII have made them feel thus far forced to fear they might have to kill him off in the show and not potentially in an upcoming movie, so thus far keeping "Han's son" [Jacen Solo] going dark side has been talked about as a way to kill him off if he wont sign as an example of why Legacy wasnt listed on the chopping block, as to the Thrawn Trilogy they so far feel some of these characters have resonatated like Boba Fett did in the Holiday Special which got him in Empire Strikes Back and deserve concideration. I was told however that many ideas put forth involving them radically alters them while others where far more concervative on the matter, hence why some books are not yet on this New Detours list of approved joke material.
I also didnt get responces about many other series, sorry I did ask though, but I just got no comment on the Legacy comics or I Jedi, or games like Dark Forces. My sorce added that dumped books are currently concidered prime time periods for origial spin off movies, and I was hinted at a bit of an internal war going on behind the scenes involving Mara Jade since apprently Mark Hamill supports her character in essence but his desired way to write her seems to devate a 'tiny' bit from what they planned with her (given no more detail here, sorry, wish I knew more) but I got the impression Hamill, Arndt, and Kennedy finally had their talk about the script that Hamill stated hadnt happened yet.
I have it on very, very good authority that the first person to post on page 100 of this thread will be offered a cameo in the next Star Wars movie. Apparently this contest is a response to the fact that this thread has already covered over 60% of the planned Disney/Lucasfilm announcements for Star Wars Episode VII in 2013. Instead of sending lawyers after us to track down the breeches in NDA contracts, the two companies have decided to award our diligent fact finding skills and die hard fandom, putting a positive PR spin on the situation. Keep up the great work Bothans!
Darth Maul will return, as a zombie
It turns out that Vger from Star Trek, entered into the same black hole that allowed Ambassador Spock to travel back in time, unfortunately further back in time than anyone would suspect. Vger inadvertently became the source of the Dark Side in a very familiar galaxy that is far, far away, a long time ago. Over time the origins of the Sith became clouded in mystery, yet Darth Malgus discovered Vger and a way to send Vger back to it's own galaxy and time, or so he thought. Darth Malgus knew that the Sith could never have self-determination with Vger around. Vger ended up instead resurfacing as Vigo the Carpathian, using it's unparalleled mastery of the Dark Side to pretend to be an ancient 16th Century medieval tyrant and sorcerer. Enter New York City in 1989, where we see Vger, now Vigo, in Sith spirit form, attempt to destroy the Earth. Of course Peter Venkman and his allies defeated Vigo/Vger. Or did they? Not really, they did manage to create a temporal distortion that sent Vigo/Vger to the year 2293 and transformed it into some kind of strange energy ribbon, now dubbed the Nexus. The path of this Nexus was changed in the year 2371 and it eventually collided with a mad scientist's Time Machine Locomotive, which overwhelmed the time machine's flux capacitor and sent it thousands of years in the past AND to another galaxy! Now this Nexus/Vigo/Vger Time Machine Train from hell has derailed itself 35 years after the Battle of Yavin. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker with the help of Doctor Emmett Brown must travel time and galaxies, gathering together a reluctant band of heroes, namely James T. Kirk, Jean Luc Picard, Peter Venkman and Ambassador Spock, to save both galaxies, the past, the present and the future in the mother of all sequels: Star Wars: Episode VII: A Ghost Busting Star Trek Back To The Future!
I have heard from the hot dog stand guy that Carrie Fisher will donate over a gallon of her blood over the next few months. This blood will be transported to Kamino and clones will be produced out of this. The male population of the planet earth rejoice at the thought of having their real own slave Leia in that bikini outfit. The female population cry out in terror. 1 year later there is a huge baby boom on the planet and people have to be moved to Tatoiine since there is not enough resources left to feed all those babies. The second clone wars begins...
I have it from another good authority that Disney is seriously considering a name change with all the bad publicity surrounding them about the franchise.
a name that came on top of the list for the name change was: Diss-nay
Board of directors is seriously considering that name option.
I have it from an OFFICIAL Lucasfilm source that the climax of the Episode 7 will feature Jar Jar Binks getting cut in half, only to reappear in an animated TV series set between Episodes 8 and 9. The show's title: "Star Wars: The Gungan Wars."
Luke Skywalker and Co will have their hands full as a group of rowdy 1%er speeder bikers known as "The Younglings of Anarchy" ride into town and start a ruckus.
A trusted source just informed me that JJ Abrams wants Vader's Gargoyles, cut from Empire's first draft, to be the new "smoke monster" being able to appear and disappear into thin air at will. Apperently he plans to play them off as the dark side made mannifest by a force spell by the new Sith Master. He plans to use them to frighten all the younglings at the Jedi Temple, thus by getting nightmares they'll have lost control of their emotions and be vaunerable to the dark side of the force.
After decades of meticulous planning, the time for revenge has come...