Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Episode VII will not have a trailer. Instead, there will be a traveling theater that acts out certain scenes from the new movie.
  2. Bobatron Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2012
    star 3
    A historical holographic message will be played, with Tom Kane's voice from the Clone Wars giving the newsreel voice-over heard from the episodes of the show.
    Other actors from The Clone Wars will be touted on starwars.com as making appearances that will turn out to be very short cameos most won't even notice.
    Last edited by Bobatron, Apr 22, 2013
  3. Tornado Wrangler Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2013
    star 1
    I heard time-travel will be involved . . . .
  4. The_Coon Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2013
    star 1
    if i post it pherhaps it will happen

    I will be in the films

    Last edited by The_Coon, Apr 23, 2013
  5. Original Oatmeal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 22, 2013
    star 1
    I would put all the famous movies stars in it and call it Oceans 14, in the Stars.
  6. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Gary Busey will provide Chewie's growls.
  7. Ryus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2013
    star 4
    All background characters will be paided in Disney Dollars, the exception being those background characters who will star in a Spin-off feature. They'll get half their pay in real money and half in Disney Dollars.
    Last edited by Ryus, Apr 23, 2013
  8. Son of a Bith Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 28, 2013
    star 4
    The sequels will be projected onto two IMAX screens so Georgey can cram twice as much visual clutter into our eyeballs.
  9. Sum-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2013
    star 3
    The new trilogy will introduce the use of underwear in space.. not in the form of bras, but rather, the use of adult diapers. It appears the Force does not give one the power of bladder control.
  10. Ryus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2013
    star 4
    As a node to Star Trek JJ has decided the first victim in the film will be a Royal Guard in bright shinning red armor.
    Last edited by Ryus, Apr 27, 2013
  11. Darth_Quintonis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2013
    star 1
    BREAKING:

    John Williams, famous composer of the first six Star Wars movies, asks for "a mere 1.1 Billion Dollars ..." to score the next Star Wars trilogy. Disney representatives, speaking on condition of anonymity, say that the word on the street is that Disney has flat-out refused Mr. Williams and that J.J. Abrams has been given orders to make Episode VII the first Star Wars movie as an avant-garde silent film. There is no word yet on whether this will affect Mr. Arndt's script, which was said to be finished already.
    BigAl6ft6 and Sum-Wan like this.
  12. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I just found the script for Star Wars episode VIII. It is to be directed by tarantino. Here are some quotes from the script:

    What planet are you from.
    What?
    What aint no planet I recognize. Do they speak basic on what?

    When you pulled up here, did you see a sign in front of my house that says "dead hammerhead storage?"

    Thirty parsects away, I'll be there in ten.

    I don't need you to tell me how kriffing good my jawa juice is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys poodoo. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it.

    This place, Dex's diner?
    Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. cantinas, toshe station, fuling stations... you get your head blown off sticking up one of them.
    eht13 and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  13. LelalMekha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2012
    star 4
    As an homage to his critically acclaimed contribution to the story of Star Wars, Dave Filoni (former Animation Director of Star Wars: The Clone Wars) will play the role of Plo Koon 'Magic' Skywalker, Luke's eldest son. "It's exciting news," Filoni said. "I'm pretty sure the fans are going to be thrilled." It is also rumored that Filoni's former author avatar favorite character will appear in the movie, taking Yoda's place as a role-model for all the new Jedi. The Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane may be be in the movie as well. Will he contradict the EU? Only time wil tell.
    Last edited by LelalMekha, Apr 29, 2013
  14. Obi-Wan21 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2002
    star 4
    I've been hiding in George Lucas' attic and have attained riveting information-

    Peter Dinklage is playing the son of Han Solo!
  15. Ryus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2013
    star 4
    Just got a call from the big three, turns out none of them signed on. Though they all admit to leading them on for months for free physical fitness trainers.
  16. Darth Chiznuk PT Trivia Master / Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2012
    star 5
    Wrong thread.
    Last edited by Darth Chiznuk, Apr 29, 2013
  17. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    I just got a e-mail from Business Week in the future: due to Disney's success with strong-arming theatres for more profit on opening weekend for Iron Man 3, in summer 2015 Disney has officially gone mad with power and, with a chorus of maniacal "AH-HAHS! Money money!" from Mickey Mouse and friends, they demanded 110% of Ep 7 theatrical profits for the first month of showing. In response, theatre chains across North America revolted and refused to screen the film so now Ep. 7 will only screen at theatres in Disney Parks and maybe screenings in Skywalker ranch. Line ups are expected to take as long as into October to see it. Bring water and provisions.
    Ryus likes this.
  18. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Episode VII will be VII minutes long.
  19. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    STAR WARS SHOCKER: GEORGE LUCAS RUNS SCREAMING FROM EP 7 SCREENING. Says "What the hell happened to that outline I wrote" to random bystander. Bystander shrugs.
    DarthRelaxus and Ryus like this.
  20. Feng Shui Engine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2013
    star 1
    "JOHN WILLIAMS DROPS OUT OF EPISODE VII. MOVIE WILL NOW BE SCORED BY JAMIROQUAI"

    Last edited by Feng Shui Engine, May 1, 2013
    DarthRelaxus and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  21. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
  22. Jedirush2112 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2013
    star 3
    George Lucas will play the villian in Star Wars VII as the son of Jabba the Hutt and Shmi Skywalker. Turns out the Sandpeople were pimping her out while she was their captive. Jabba paid top dollar for 30 seconds with her!

    :eek:
    Last edited by Jedirush2112, May 1, 2013
  23. Sum-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2013
    star 3
    My sources have new info about the plot of Episode VII... They tell me that during a trip to the outer rim Luke Skywalker will land on a strange planet where he finds an ancient Sith Temple and inside it he discovers a STARGATE... I smell a crossover!!!
  24. Jeff Vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2012
    star 1
    George Lucas came round my house last night for Frito Pie and Pabbs. He told me the whole trilogy is going to be a game of holo chess between Luke and Ghost Palpatine. Phillip Glass is scoring the movie which will just be the word "clone" repeated non stop for 2 hours. He then nuzzled my shoulder and said "You'd sure look purdy in a gold bikini". This made for an awkward rest of the evening.
  25. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    All of the action sequences will be filmed in confuse-o-vision.
    BigAl6ft6 and Jabari like this.