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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. A Rule For Everyone To See:

    The New Films staff strive to create a fun and welcoming environment for all users. This forum is a place for discussing the films, which means that you think the films are worth discussing. Constructive criticism (as deemed by the moderating staff) is welcome and encouraged. Bashing of any kind will not be tolerated anywhere outside The Sanctuary thread. See the new rules thread here. Bans can and will be handed out to anyone who doesn't abide by the forum rules.

Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Rick Berman and Rick McCallum will co-produce Star Wars for the remaining future.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  2. Darth Claire

    Darth Claire Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2012
    Black magic to be used to ressurect Alec Guinness for return as Obi Wan
     
  3. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    Supershadow's girlfriend will play Luke's daughter.
     
  4. The Hellhammer

    The Hellhammer Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2012
    SEQUEL TRILOGY BLU-RAY TO BE PACKAGED IN REGULAR BLU-RAY BOXES
    Fans outraged Star Wars is not pushing the boundaries of packaging technologies
     
  5. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    In a plan he concocted one night while drunkenly viewing "Face Off" twice in a row, Rick McCallum has decided to start impersonating the mannerisms of Bad Robot and JJ Abrams co-producer Byan Burk so he can engage in a convoluted Face Off type of scheme to regain his rightful place as Star Wars producer. He's calling Nic Cage for tips but for some reason he isn't picking up.
     
  6. dva3842

    dva3842 Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Jada-Plinkett Smith to be EPVII, back to wearing dreadlocks as a kung-fu specialized jedi, said to be son of Quilan Vos (shown in flashblack played by Will Smith who flies around in a sitting pose wearing "Hancock" sunglasses throwing around force lightning)
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  7. dva3842

    dva3842 Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Director "McG" to take over EpVII along with sneery Worthington and Zoe Saldana in yet another CGI painted female alien role.

    And oh yes, Chris Pine will have cameos again running around hallways clumsiliy trying to get something to solve something in 15 secs. There will be recurring shots of him doing that, then a whiny toned speech at the end about civilization and the way it 'ought to be again.
     
  8. furcifer

    furcifer Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2004
    JJ is commissioning development of a groundbreaking new film process, aiming "to embrace the future through innovation while striving to approximate the essential majesty of classic cinema," according to a leaked voicemail. Following the leak, unconfirmed rumors now say that the intended 'look' of the new process may in fact be very much like this:

    http://youtube.com/watch?t=12&v=uGsE842j0CM
    .
     
    Jarren_Lee-Saber and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  9. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Arndt just told me that the third draft of the script is completed in what was supposed to be a minor dialogue polish to make it more "Zac Effron friendly" (whatever that means.) But Arndt kept putting it off so improve his Angry Birds score. Which, in turn, meant that he had basically only 30 hours to complete it. So, after accidentally eating a plateful of acid watching "Adaptation", Arndt has written himself into the script. As the Sith Lord daughter of Luke Skywalker.

    I told him to go lie down.
     
  10. Beezer

    Beezer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2013
    I read an early draft of the script where an alien race from outside the galaxy whose presence cannot be sensed through the force invades and drops a moon on Chewbacca's head.

    I think that script is a fake.... nothing that stupid could ever see the light of day.....
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  11. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    I hypnotised Abrams into confessing that Howard the Duck will be the protagonist of the sequels
     
  12. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    In a ingenious way to integrate the canon of Star Wars and to get Star Wars "hip" with the Internets, there will be the shocking addition of Invisible Girl to the movie, who will be invisible the entire time and not say anything, however, she is a huge part of the movie's viral campaign, and her thoughts will be spelled out in great detail in the novelization the reason the film is different from the Expanded Universe canon. Thereby making her a G-level character whose entire job in the movies (Which the audience watching the movie will never see or hear or even know about) to make the continuity fit and to get more twitter followers for #StarWarsInvisibleGirl. (that will be her actual character name, with the hashtag and everything. Don't expect anyone in the movie to comment on it, heavens no!, but she is definitely "real" for the fans)
     
  13. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    In a shocking scoop, on Wednesday Oct 30th, the official Star Wars facebook page will unveil a teaser trailer that is literally just J.J. Abrams taunting the viewer from a giant bed made of money and gold.
     
    Jarren_Lee-Saber and darthtuttle like this.
  14. Jedi Gunny

    Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    May 20, 2008
    Episodes 7-9: The galaxy is invaded by shoddily-drawn mice with swords and funny-looking round ears who like to whistle the "Steamboat Willie" theme tune. Everyone proceeds to panic when it is realized that the galaxy is slowly but surely being redrawn in hand-painted 2D cels.
     
    Jarren_Lee-Saber and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  15. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    chewbacca will shave himself.
     
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  16. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Just saw Michael Arndt looking through garbage cans for leftover food. I tried to ask him about Star Wars but he cut me off halfway through with angry rambling gibberish and pointing at the sky. I'm sure everything is fine.
     
  17. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    In keeping with the Christmas release date, Lucasfilm is currently scrambling to incorporate Santa Claus as a marketable character in Episode 7. Current name ideas floating around are "Canta Slaus" and "Annual Life Day Red Clothed Sentient Who Brings Star Wars Toys"
     
  18. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    It's going to be a Lifetime channel Christmas special.
     
  19. CommanderDrenn

    CommanderDrenn Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 19, 2013
    I just heard a rumor that the Ewoks are going to become zombies. And Jar Jar will have a Force Ghost telling the Ewoks it's wrong ti kill people. Luke will die, but he will have a clone and come back to life. Mickey Mouse will appear at the end, and Tinker Bell will do that little wand thing on the Star Wars logo.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  20. Darth Kermit

    Darth Kermit Jedi Knight

    Registered:
    Oct 22, 2013
    Dude, this is the NO SPOILER forum! Sheesh! [face_shame_on_you]
     
  21. CommanderDrenn

    CommanderDrenn Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 19, 2013
    Also, I've heard that Goofy will be replacing Jar Jar Binks as the main character
     
  22. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Set construction is well underway but has hit a bit of a snag since the Millennium Falcon set does not fly. At this moment. Abrams is currently looking at the engine thoughtfully and is training a flock of birds to hopefully carry it across the heavens. Kennedy is cool with his wacky scheme as long as it "keeps JJ freakin' actually England for the shoot without complaining every five minutes."
     
  23. CommanderDrenn

    CommanderDrenn Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 19, 2013
    Recent news has announced that Jar Jar and Mickey Mouse will come on stage for a musical intermission half way through the film.
     
  24. Sith-Mullet

    Sith-Mullet Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 2, 2003
    Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo with make a guest appearance in all remaining Star Wars movies.
     
  25. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    There is a rumour that Chewbacca will literally tear a TIE Fighter in half and then turn to the camera and yell "Nike! Just do it!" This is a subtle way to tie in merchandising with Adidas Star Wars shoe products. The scene may be slightly revised when shooting begins.
     
    Dak Oolron and Lando Swarm like this.