Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. fishtailsam Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2003
    star 4
    I was using my Ouigi Board in my backyard under the full moon and it spelled out "J-A-R-J-A" and then I got really freaked out and ran back into the house.
  2. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
  3. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    One guy who knows a guy who knows a pizza delivery guy who once drove up to the gate at Skywalker ranch says Luke has been MIA since the Ewok celebration ended, he decided to live his life on a distant planet taking a desk job at a Deatstick corporation licking stamps but when the New Republic says that they have to put warning labels on all Deathstick packs his bosses tell him that Luke has to "take care" of the Senators voting for the legislation. Unfortunately, he sold his lightsaber for rent money around 10 ABY and now he's on a wacky misadventure to get it back.
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Dec 18, 2012
  4. chris hayes Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2012
    star 4
    I know a guy who know's a guy that know's another guy's sisters husband that once took a dump at skywalker ranch & in the next two cubicles were Lucas himself & Micheal Arndt they taked about a time machine where Luke goes back in time & stops his younger self from killing Darth Vader then all 3 go back & stop Obi-Wan from chopping up Anakin then all 5 of them go back & kill Jar Jar binks before TPM & also the older Anakin gets rid of his younger self so in the end TPM has no Jar Jar Binks & a 22 Anakin Skywalker so a better version of the phantom menace is presented instead of Episode 7 & is called The new Episode 1 in lue of Episode 7 .
  5. DARTH_BELO Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2003
    star 4
    I totally heard from a "reliable source" in the administrative dept. for Lucasfilm that there will be a cloned sith army of Darth Vaders, and that Grand Admiral Thrawn will lead them against the New Republic!!!
    Last edited by DARTH_BELO, Dec 19, 2012
  6. DARTH_BELO Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2003
    star 4
    Whoa...I had to read that one a couple times...[face_hypnotized]

    That actually brings up an idea I recently had: I have always thought, instead of all the crazy episode-ness, why not just take the numbers away? [face_thinking]

    Kind of like Harry Potter, or The Dark Knight Trilogy - just use the names. The Phantom Menace...Attack of the Clones...etc...

    The thought may be that since they're not numbered, people would get them confused...but no one seems to get the Harry Potter series, or the Lord of the Rings series confused! Star Wars is the ONLY series that uses numbers this way...

    I say get rid of 'em! ;)
    Last edited by DARTH_BELO, Dec 19, 2012
  7. JoeyArnold Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    The next film will begin right after Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. As Vader is murdering the jedi, he falls in love with Sela Deer, who was conceived by the dark side of the force by either a known or unknown sith master.

    Vader ends up getting Sela pregnant. So, in the Return of the Jedi, you may want to say that Yoda says there is another because Vader has more kids with a different woman.

    Vader & Sela were both conceived by the force. So, when two such individuals have kids, those kids become strong with the force as well.

    So the seventh film is about Luke & Leia discovering their half-siblings. These half-siblings may be accompanied with known or unknown sith, such as Bane, Tenebrous, Plagueis, Sidious, Star Killer, Ventress, Maul, or who knows.

    These half-siblings may use both sides of the force.

    It will be a question of whether they are the bad guys or is Luke the bad guy or what.
    Last edited by JoeyArnold, Dec 19, 2012
  8. DV75 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2001
    star 3
    I heard that there is a story treatment to have Jar Jar come back.....this time as a crime lord!!

    "Mesa gonna put a price on your head so bombad - you can't go-sa in any system!"
    Last edited by DV75, Dec 19, 2012
    DarthBoba likes this.
  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I hear Leia broke up with Han and her and Luke get together. Episode 7 - Redneck style.
    krtmd likes this.
  10. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    Seth Rogen. Barbra Streisand. Wat Tambor. "Episode 7 - The Really Guilty Trip." Source, the Lucasfilm implant in my teeth.
  11. chris hayes Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2012
    star 4
    Noooo Episode 7 : The Inbreed of the force
  12. GODLIKE Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2012
    star 1
    the new villain is going to be Chief Keef cause the bitches love sosa
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  13. JainaSoloYJK Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2010
    star 4
    My best friend told me, that his coworker told him, that his second cousin told him, that she knows the gardener at the Presidio. Said gardener was using a leaf-blower when he overheard George yelling something at a masked man in black. Just as the leaf blower was turned off, the gardener heard "-the Hutt's, OK? Five. Sharp." The gardener then concluded that either there will be five hutts in the film, or that Jabba will be resurrected and using 5 lightsabers.
    Panakas_Dawg and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  14. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Saw a hobo with a sign that read, "Will leak spoilers for money!" So, I slipped him a couple bucks and he dispensed this gem:

    We're getting a bunch of Young Jedi in a big surfboard/skateboard speeder chase. These "Speeder Boards" will be used to chase after a Draco Malfoy-type who wants to steal a holocron from the archives.
    JainaSoloYJK and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  15. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    Someone rear ended me. he hacked into lfl's computers. apparently monty python is producing ep vii. i have actual quotes.

    But i don't like bantha rump.

    What is the average velocity of an unladen mynock?
    Couruscanti or bespin?

    They take the wooden tauntaun in, then we jump out and attack them.

    She's a sith.
    Now how do you know she's a sith?
    She turned me into a tauntaun.
    A tauntaun?
    I got better
  16. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    The ghost of Alec Guinness told me that Episode VII will be a musical directed by Mel Gibson that is 195 minutes long and is rated NC17. Werner Herzog and David Lynch will co-direct VIII and IX, and each of them will be 207 minute acid trips.
    Panakas_Dawg likes this.
  17. Jeff Vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2012
    star 1
    I was talking to Kathleen Kennedy on FB chat, and its definitely her, cos her profile has a picture of her and everything, and she told me in confidence that the film revolves around Jar Jar receiving a holomail from the the Yuuzhan Vong telling him he's won the intergalactic lottery and to provide the Republic's central bank details to claim his prize. After the galaxy is bankrupted he flees Coruscant and is chased across the galaxy for the next two hours by angry Twi'lek dancers in their underwear, to the tune of Yakety Sax.

    Oh, and she wants to be my girlfriend.
  18. Legacy Jedi Endordude Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2012
    star 3
    I Kid Naped George Lucas and force him to tell me the full plot of the next 81 movies. Jar Jar Will be the new sith lord, and Wicket is his apprentice.
  19. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I was at a bar. Michael Arndts therapist was there. I got him drunk enough to leak spoilers. Luke's son will continue the family tradition of whining all the time.
    Vid_The_Impaler and fishtailsam like this.
  20. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Was at a gentleman's club last night and saw Bob Iger making it rain up in there with nothing but 20s. He offered me a drink and a few dances from Jasmine, so I figured I'd party with his 8-figure salary. During some downtime while we waited for more overpriced champagne, he clued me in to a few things:
    1. Deep down, Lucas has always loved Shirley Temple movies, so Ep 7 will feature a 9-year old in curls; she will do a cute song to entertain dinner guests at Han and Leia's garden party.
    2. Luke will sport a Mood Lightsaber that changes color with his emotions.
    3. Kathleen Kennedy loves the Cthulhu mythos, so there will be a giant octopus-headed Sith, each tentacle holding a saber.
    4. In a nod to Twilight, a race of sparkly jailbait will figure heavily in the formation of the New Republic.
    5. Steve Sansweet will appear onscreen as Porkins' drunk uncle, who has never gotten over his death.
  21. Darthgoodguy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2012
    star 1
    ......Hahahahahahahaha!
  22. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    So I talked to the urn of Gene Roddenberry, and he told me that Episode VII would be filmed with hand puppets ala Team America. When I asked him how he could possibly know this since he's dead and was the creator of Star Trek, he told me to piss off.
  23. darthRebel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2004
    star 2
    This will be part of the plot

    The galaxy is in turmoil, there are conflicts everywhere and several factions try to gain power. There is a new secret organization that has controlled the galaxy for ages which consists of elite people like politicians, bankers... There leader is a powerful magician that controls force demons and is in league with interdimensional aliens. The aliens deliver sophisticated technology and new weapons. The goal is to create more chaos to bring back Total order to a galaxy in chaos, One world order. Several jedi are also in league with this secret organization that wants to regain its position of power. Because their leader foresees the jedi will try to stop this world order that would bring stability and power again to the elite by other means than diplomacy, their leader plans an attack on the new jedi training center on yavin. Many jedi who follow this new leader will be involved in the assault on yavin. They use darth vader as a symbol, so they will wear armor that resembles vaders armor. Also there will be a traitor jedi on yavin under the training of luke skywalker. The assault will be lead by a former imperial moff now a respectable senator in the new republic, but working for the secret leader. This former imperial has a son who is a love interest for mara skywalker, daughter of mara jade and luke. They are both major protagonists. The son of the former imperial is a snape like figure, who will get in conflict with his father because he is in love with mara skywalker. He will inform a special assemblee with major rebel heroes like leia, han, lando,...of the plot of new order his father is involved in. A new sort of rebellion is formed in secret as there is much distrust. Many heroes (ben skywalker, han, jacen jaina, a new jedi family,lando, leia and some new other new protagonists have to go to several locations due to the many wars and conflicts happening. With the help of the interdimensional aliens a planet is destroyed and several of the major important heroes die because of this. This causes one of the new heroes to get in great conflict with himself believing the galaxy does need a hard hand in stead of diplomacy. At the end of the movie they will find out the interdimensional aliens are planning to invade this world with a massive army and futuristic weapons and another of the heroes finds vader armor, puts it in his hands but without revealing who it is. More spoilers later ...
  24. princessnikki Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2012
    star 1
    I heard we don't have to wait till 2015 for episode vii to be released..... we will all be getting an email on Christmas morning from someone at Lucasfilm/Disney with a link to watch the new movie online that they have filmed in secret!!!
  25. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Lucas talked to me via Floo Network that they are actually going six seasons and a movie.