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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. A Rule For Everyone To See:

    The New Films staff strive to create a fun and welcoming environment for all users. This forum is a place for discussing the films, which means that you think the films are worth discussing. Constructive criticism (as deemed by the moderating staff) is welcome and encouraged. Bashing of any kind will not be tolerated anywhere outside The Sanctuary thread. See the new rules thread here. Bans can and will be handed out to anyone who doesn't abide by the forum rules.

Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    I'd pay good money to see that.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  2. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    This just in, Lena Dunham was seen trying on Princess Leia hair-buns in a trendy L.A. shop. When pressed by TMZ reporters she started yelling, "DAMMIT! IF ADAM CAN GET IN WHY CAN'T I?!!!"
     
  3. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Malleus Maleficarum star 8 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Let's not push the limits of info sharing in this forum. Some people don't want to know anything. Actor first names aren't earth shattering, just be mindful of what is being said moving forward.
     
  4. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant communed with me via Ouija Board claiming that they will be playing Luke and Han.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  5. Matthew_Wolverine

    Matthew_Wolverine Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2002
    According to sources, Luke Arnold is in talks to play a Sith named Darth Silver.
     
  6. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Emma Watson just wrote me a letter that says Ep. 7 is literally just a 2 hour single-take shot of a line-up of a dozen students in front of the dark side cave on Dagobah as Luke shoves each one in there unceremoniously and as each one staggers out discombobulated and/or vomiting he checks off on a clipboard, "Nope. Nope. Nope. Maybe. Nope. Nope. Maybe. Nope."
     
  7. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    A drunken Liam Neeson was just seen in a blonde wig trying to force his way into the Ep. 7 stage being built yelling "Lemmie do that Force stuff again! I'll just say I dyed my hair blonde!"
     
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  8. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    After watching the Yoda arc in season 6 of TCW...

    The new villains are a bunch of emo floaters with soprano voices and drama masks with expressions ranging from sad to neutral.

    Zombie Ahsoka Tano appears and repeats "The Jedi EXPELLED ME! The Jedi EXPELLED ME!" over and over again.

    I heard it from the guy who was giving out wine samples at Trader Joe's. He got it from an insider who commented on a blog.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  9. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick SfC Part IV Commissioner star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    The plot will center on E.T.'s race of aliens wanting to fill the void left by The Empire's destruction. Why do you think E.T. wanted to go home so bad?
     
    Revious Nugo and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  10. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    The guy who played Ric Ollie is currently handing out "The entire planet is one big city!" t-shirts to Ep. 7 castmembers as they try to get into work, who are politely trying to avoid him. Guys in white coats with butterfly nets have been called.
     
    jaqen likes this.
  11. Julian Skywalker-Solo

    Julian Skywalker-Solo Jedi Padawan star 1

    Registered:
    May 21, 2014
    Episode VII's plot: the second death star's explosion destroyed the hyperdrives of the Rebel and Imperial fleets stranding our heroes for 30 years. Meanwhile on Tatooine, what the stormtroopers failed to notice was that R2-D2 copied the Death Star plans to the R5 droid with the bad motivator & a Tusken/Jawa alliance has turned the entire planet of Tatooine into a 3rd Death Star. Our heroes find out about this from Biggs Darlighter's nephew, who comes to Endor in search of his uncle's old friend. . .
     
    Dak Oolron, jaqen and Revious Nugo like this.
  12. Revious Nugo

    Revious Nugo Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2014
    This just in: Star Wars Episode VII is now STAR WARS: EPISODE X. VIII AND IX ARE NOW XI AND XII!
    Yes, that's right! JJ Abrams says he likes George Lucas' strategy of the last 3 films made first so much that he wants to do it again!
    In 20ish or so years we'll be getting "THE STAR WARS PREQUEL TRILOGY TO THE SEQUEL TRILOGY".

    And will finally let us know what happened before the upcoming 2015 movie
     
    Dak Oolron, jaqen, Darkslayer and 3 others like this.
  13. DARTHVENGERDARTHSEAR

    DARTHVENGERDARTHSEAR Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    This just in, Episode VII has just surpassed Avatar's earnings at the box office.
     
  14. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Luke, having taken a vow of celibacy in order to halt the Plagueis-tainted Skywalker bloodline, comes back and tries to kill Han and Leia's kids to stop the never-should-have-been lineage from growing.
     
    Dak Oolron and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  15. StoryWorthTelling

    StoryWorthTelling Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2015
    I think I read somewhere on the Internet that Boba Fett will have the Sarlaac on a leash in this film, and is using it to hunt Han Solo through space/time. Earth's future may show up in order to facilitate a Jurassic World crossover in Episode XX.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  16. Flapjack4

    Flapjack4 Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2014
    Rumours tell me an R rated documentary is being filmed entitled 'Flailing Body Parts Far Far Away'.
    It is a behind the scenes look at the techniques that went into Luke and Darth's hands being lopped off, Anakin's limbs being chopped off, Dooku's noggin removal, Jango's deadly decapitation, the halving in two of Darth Maul, severed hands floating through space, and Harrison Ford's Millenium Falcon leg snap. And many more.
    Narrated by Ponda Baba.
     
    jaqen and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  17. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Bob Iger, drunk with power, has demanded JJ add "Smell-o-vision" subs to the movie so they can sell officially licensed Star Wars Smell-o-Vision scratch cards for about 30 bucks a pop. JJ is considering it, mostly because he has a really nasty head cold.
     
    Forbidden Island and Flapjack4 like this.
  18. hippie1kenobi

    hippie1kenobi Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 28, 2002
    Episode VII will include cameos by every single EU character ever created. It will have it's name changed to It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Galaxy.
     
    Forbidden Island likes this.
  19. Darkslayer

    Darkslayer Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2013
    Rumor has it that Peter Jackson will be appearing in the first-ever crossover between Star Wars and Middle-earth - Jackson will reprise his role as the carrot-eating man in Episode VII.
     
    Forbidden Island likes this.
  20. Sum-Wan

    Sum-Wan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 16, 2013
    Leia will be reminding everyone that she is to be addressed as "Princess Leia" even after someone pointed out to her that "Alderaan is caput! gone!" and to help bring her point home she will actually be wearing a crown throughout Episode VII.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  21. jaqen

    jaqen Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2004

    [​IMG]
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  22. DarthWilliams

    DarthWilliams Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 29, 2008

    Sweet I always wanted another Ric Ollie figure.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  23. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Han Solo dies, and goes to hell. In hell he meets that Deck Officer, and says "See? I told you..."
     
  24. Forbidden Island

    Forbidden Island Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 23, 2015
    Luke Skywalker's middle name is revealed to be George.
     
    Darkslayer and Sum-Wan like this.
  25. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Leia changes her name to Padme Skywalker Jr.