Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Just got off Skype with Mark Hammill. He's been living off nothing but Special K, Protein Shakes, and raw eggs. He said he's "so ripped that all the hot Jedi babes won't be able to keep their paws off of him." He's also had a penis enlargement, facelift, and hair implants. He let slip that Carrie has had "so many implants, she's now as human as Darth Vader was." Harrison is refusing to get with the program, so Lucas and Arndt came up with an opening where Han Solo dies when his walker snaps and he falls out of the dinner line at Luby's.
    MrFantastic74 and kainee like this.
  2. Boxster Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2005
    star 1
    Direct from Disney's meeting this morning.

    China will be involved with the SW franchise, like Ironman 3. Offered to put SW on every cinemas in the mainland. China wants a giant SW park in their upcoming Disneyland Shanghai.

    Jackie Chan, Donnie Yuen, Chow Yuan Fatt and a few other top actors are in discussion. With top Hollywood directors chickening out on the chance to direct. Awaiting news on whether John Woo will accept the gig. Jon Favreau on top of Disney's list.

    3 trilogies will be made at the same time. One of them will be the ST, another one is based on KOTOR and last one unknown. And in between each trilogies there will be movies based on individual characters. Boba Fett movie is currently in production and Joe Johnston is designing and directing it. Gave up his gig on Captain America 2 for this.

    Disney want Chris Pine, Brandon Routh and Robert Downey Jr's involvements. Sam Jackson WILL return as an aged Mace Windu. Ewan as ghost of Obiwan, Hayden Christensen phone calls were ignored by casting director.

    Midichlorian will be edited out of the PT, Han will shoot first and Hayden's appearance will be edited out of the ROTJ's ending for the upcoming 3D re-re-re-re-releases.

    Stay tune for more...
  3. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Caravan of Courage is actually going to be re-released as Episode 7! Source? This random bronie who really really really likes Caravan of Courage! Really!
  4. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Santa came and told me that the Special Editions will be re-released only this time, all of the changes will be in claymation.
  5. battlefrontboy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2012
    star 1
    I've got a mole deep in Lucasfilm with a microphone on its collar. Mark Hamill was recently fitted for a Darth Vader mask, but it will only be used to recuperate in-between takes. Also expect big changes for C3P0 and R2 as Michael Arndt is drawing on a lot of Pinnochio mythology.
    DarthBoba likes this.
  6. 3PO Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 5, 2003
    star 4
    Half of these are probably better than what we'd get if Lucas wrote the thing.... :p
  7. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Lucas is writing them.
  8. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Happy Holidays! Arndt now in talks re: the scene where 3PO falls in love. Still up in the air if it'll be played for laughs or is serious.
  9. Boxster Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2005
    star 1
    Nick Fury will appear at the end credit.
  10. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    I'm actually George Lucas.
    kainee and DarthBoba like this.
  11. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    My sources tell me that Episode 7 will be available in 4D.
  12. Jinn-N-Tonic Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 2006
    star 1
    Harrison Ford will be featured in E VII.. as Indiana Jones. He stumbled upon a gateway in cave back on Earth that transported him to the distant past to a galaxy far far away.
    DarthBoba likes this.
  13. Jinn-N-Tonic Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 2006
    star 1
    Then Indy discovers more time traveling techniques in a galaxy far far away and learns that he must travel further back in time to father Han Solo. He forms an uneasy allience with Biff Tannin who also accidently ended up in a galaxy far far away while he stole Doc Brown's time machine.
  14. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I hacked into abandoned Soviet espionage equipment and checked out Skywalker ranch. Christopher Nolan is directing episode VII. Michael Caine is set to appear. Most of the film will be set in a shared Force vision. In that Force vision, characters enter another Force vision. It gets confusing. The love interest dies. This encourages the protagonist to seek revenge. Someone has a mental disorder. The narrative gets so non-linear that the title crawl appears halfway into the film and "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." appears closer to the end. Someone joins the dark side for justified reasons. No American Actors. Luke will be the mentor but let down the protagonist.
    Vid_The_Impaler likes this.
  15. DarthRelaxus Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2007
    star 5
    I heard from George Lucas' dog, Indiana, that Ep VII will be based on The Dukes of Hazard and Knightrider.
    HanJones likes this.
  16. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Star Trek Into Darkness is actually Episode VII. They just forgot to tell us. Oops.
  17. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Dan Slott told me that Luke Skywalker is gonna swap bodies with Doc Ock! Episode 7: The Superior Skywalker!
  18. chris hayes Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2012
    star 4
    I know a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy...well this guy's wife's best friends uncle's knows a security guard at Disney & he acidentally saw the treatment for Episode VII & it is set 4 million years after ROTJ Luke was frozen in carbonite at the age of 96 & returns to a galaxy run by Gungans , Ewoks & a breed of blue muppets called yoga's !
    It is also partly a musical .
  19. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Darth Vader from the planet Vulcan came to me last night and said that Nicolas Cage would be playing both Han Solo and Chewbacca.
    JainaSoloYJK and DarthRelaxus like this.
  20. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    This is totally legit because I just found a picture of the source!

    [IMG]
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Dec 29, 2012
  21. Boxster Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2005
    star 1
    Disney wanted a broader audience, therefore, expect Bollywood songs and dance in the movie.
  22. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I used veritaserum on Kathleen Kennedy and got her to spew the plot. Apparently it's a crossover with Phineas and Ferb. While trying to get Phineas and Ferb in trouble, Candace causes her, Phineas and Ferb to warp into the distance past to a distant galaxy. Doofenschmirtz discovers the technology used to warp them, and decides to conquer the GFFA. Perry follows Doofenschmirtz to stop him.
  23. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Just heard from Oprah. She and Eddie Murphy are in talks to voice a Hutt couple whose dry-cleaning empire has taken off, but they're uncomfortable living next door to a Gungan family.
  24. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Mike Meyers is involved in this somehow.
    Panakas_Dawg and DarthRelaxus like this.
  25. DarthRelaxus Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2007
    star 5
    Due to a contract mix up, Mark Hamill will play Han, Harrison Ford will play Leia, and Carrie Fisher will play Luke.
    DarthBoba likes this.