Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. awesomejedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    That is close, but according to my cousin's father's sister-in- law's brother, who works at Skywalker ranch as a janitor, all three movies will be an hour long and will be based off of Junior Jedi Knights by Rebecca Moesta. I'm dead serious.:D
    Lazy Storm Trooper likes this.
  2. Ridley Solo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2010
    star 4
    So can we safely assume that Master Ikrit with be CGI? :p
  3. DarthBoba Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2000
    star 9
    No he's just a cat dressed up in Jedi master robes.
    BigAl6ft6 and JainaSoloYJK like this.
  4. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    I was just talking to the man in the mirror and he told me that Star Wars will have sharks with laser beams attached to their foreheads as the villains.
    BigAl6ft6, HanJones and DarthRelaxus like this.
  5. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I just intercepted an internal memo from Lucas films. Sharks are an endangered species and they did not get through the red tape. They are going to use sea bass.
    HanJones and DarthRelaxus like this.
  6. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    No the real reason is because I ate the sharks. Shark meat is sooo good.
  7. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Was in the Lucasfilm company men's room while Lucas and Arndt were in nearby stalls. They were talking about Greedo's son, Speedo, looking for revenge and then being swayed into helping the good guys.George wants him to kill Solo and stretch his change of heart over a couple films. Arndt wants Solo dead in the first act, leaving Speedo to hunt Jacen Solo. Then, they both reluctantly team up to fight the bad guy(s). Then George made a joke about "taking a Sith" and their meeting was adjourned.

    On the way out, the blind washroom attendant leaned in while handing me a hand towel and said he overheard some guys from Creature Design discussing a two-headed Hutt that is a logistical nightmare.

    Oh, and my design for Lando's ship has some easter eggs: fuzzy dice, diamond-tipped shift stick, and leopard print seat covers.
  8. TiniTinyTony Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2003
    star 5
    I find this on the printer in Michael Arndt’s office:

    Scene 7:
    A violent sandstorm blows across the endless desert of Tatooine. The wind reveals something buried in the sand as the binary suns bounce light off of it. As the wind dies down, it's revealed to be an astromech resembling the markings of R2-D2. The sandstorm passes and suddenly from almost nowhere, Jawas are shown removing the sand around the droid in an attempt to unearth their treasure. A few seconds later, a herd of krayt dragons come running from behind some sand dunes, scaring the Jawas away. It almost looks like an attack, but the dragons are actually running scared from a hooded figure riding a speeder bike behind them holding a lightsaber ignited with a red blade.
  9. DarthBoba Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2000
    star 9
    I'm sorry, you must have mistaken this for one of those serious threads. /jk
  10. awesomejedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    Recently I secretly planted a soup can telephone in GL's office that stretched from his office to my home. I heard him talking to Arndt about what I assume was Han's death scene. Here's what I heard:
    GL: So Han...by Rotta...shot last....dead?
    MA: Then....handed....Wind.. ghost.....saves Allana / Amelia.
    GL: Sure.... Rotta...kill Han.....not....Pleg.....
    That's all I got. After that they moved away from my telephone. I'm not sure what you'll make of that, but I understood that Rotta killed Han and then possibly the one handed ghost of Mace Windu saved Allana. It's also possible Darth Pleguis will return.:D (Sorry about spelling errors.)
  11. DarthRelaxus Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2007
    star 5
    While dumpster diving behind Skywalker Ranch, I discovered a crumpled and coffee stained piece of paper that had sketch ideas for Death Star III drawn all over it.
  12. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Dude, I totally looked under the cap of my Mountan Dew and it said, "Plagueis is coming!"
  13. BigAl6ft6 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    NFL dot com just twittered that Peyton Manning has a role in Ep. 8 as "Master Chokeshow"!!! He's show up, look all menacing for the first 4 quarters and then not be able to complete his evil plan and completely chokes. As in on a fired Kyrat Dragon wing. Then he'll be sidelined for the rest of the ST with a neck injury!
  14. awesomejedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    I was looking for shapes in the clouds today when all of the sudden they spelled out P-L-E-T-T'-S W-E-L-. Then it started pouring rain so I could no longer read it.
  15. Blue_10 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2001
    star 4
    VII and VIII are gonna skip straight to Vision of the Future without any of us seeing the real Thrawn. IX will actually be The Hobbit part 4. Source: my little bro hacked ToR.
    DarthBoba likes this.
  16. VadersLaMent Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 3, 2002
    star 9
    From Disney.com, 1-13-13

    Enchanted film writer Bill Kelly hints that a super weapon combo is in the works with the temorary title, "Death Sun Galaxy Saber Crusher". Since most shapes were already taken the vessel might be shaped like a 20 sided die and work like the Death Blossum from The Last Starfighter.
    HanJones likes this.
  17. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    My future self visited me last night and told me that Episode VII was Lucas's diabolical scheme to create a new world order, and that Lucasfilm is actually a front for the Templars.
  18. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I was eating alphabet soup this morning and the letters started to move. When they stopped they said "in ep vii jaina and jacen in love with each other"
    Vid_The_Impaler likes this.
  19. TiniTinyTony Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2003
    star 5
    In the opening crawl, it is said that R2 has a downloaded copy of C3P0's memory from Episodes 1 - 3 before it was wiped. R2 then downloads C3P0's current memory and past memory onto a single data tape. Suddenly, a rogue storm trooper comes in and steals the tape just as it hits 100% complete. Crawl ends and the opening shot is of a Republic cruiser chasing after a small Imperial Rebel's ship.
    Lazy Storm Trooper likes this.
  20. awesomejedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    It has just been confirmed by my most reliable source so far, my second cousin twice removed, who is in the art department at Lucas Film (and by that I mean janitor for the art department) that half of the movie will take place on Yavin 7, which totally backs up what my other source said about Junior Jedi Knights.
    DarthBoba likes this.
  21. chris hayes Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2012
    star 4
    After scaling a wall at Skywalker ranch then crawling on my hands & knee's I found myself under George Lucas's office window & I looked up & saw a white board with the heading Episode VII : 24 staring Keifer Sutherland .........so it's Star Wars in real time ! the sequel trilogy will be 12x 2hr movies making up the 24hrs ! .
    Last edited by chris hayes, Jan 16, 2013
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  22. awesomejedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    My source from the art department at LF just informed me via tin can telephone (my favorite way to communicate) that when Anakin and Tahiri get to Tatooine there really will be an epic fight with a Krayt dragon (did I spell that right?) but due to all the money the mermaid/ melodies are taking the dragon will be a giant sock puppet. What a disappointment.
  23. princessnikki Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2012
    star 1
    I can confirm this. I was phoned last week to ask if I could make it for them. They were unsure as to whether or not to use a sock puppet or one made from paper mache! After a lengthy discussion we settled for the sock as they decided if they needed to film on location it would help keep their hands warm!
    DarthRelaxus likes this.
  24. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    So, I bought one of those Radio Shack, do-it-yourself radios. Hooked it up and I began intercepting coded messages from Skywalker Ranch. Here's what I've transcribed so far (gaps left for indecipherable/unknown text):
    "...tell...he better get his fat ass into that rubber suit cuz he's wielding a lightsaber in this one!"
    "The Skywalker moisture farm will be the new galactic tourist attraction..."
    "...if these crummy fans want the Fett, you give 'em the FETT! Jeremy can go...himself. All CGI Fett-clone zombies, rising from the Tatooine sands..."
    "Mark says...with Luke...'We gots ta' turn that beat around!'...Younglings...Qui Gon Force Ghost will possess his lightsaber..."
    "...if we gotta blow up a ...damn planet, make it Naboo...it's like an albatross..."
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  25. BigAl6ft6 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Just got off a horn with an accountant for The Mouse. Things are looking kind of grim, financially speaking. So much that Disney is going to try something crazy to turn a profit: the Mouse is acquire the rights to the 3D re-release of "Titanic", slap the title card "Star Wars: Episode VII: Yadda yadda", and overdub a few dozen lines with nonsense about "The Force", "Sith" "Midichorlians", "I am your Father" etc. etc.
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Jan 17, 2013