Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Goofy skyped me and said that they're just going to combine Jurassic Park IV, POTC V, and SW VII into one film. It'll be 247 minutes long with 2 intermissions and an overture.
  2. awesomejedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    The other night me and my friends did a midnight raid and sneaked into Skywalker Ranch. I found a picture of several grotesque aliens I'm guessing are Yuzhan Vong. One of my friends found in a trash can parts of a script and it looks to be dialogue of a fight scene between Jacen Solo and someone else.
  3. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Dude, at my last Ranch Midnight Raid, all I found was an empty bag of Cheetos, a half-full can of Red Bull, a crumpled up cartoon of Lando disco dancing with Beyonce, and a sheet of paper with the phrase "All work and no play makes George a dull boy" over and over and over again.
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  4. awesomejedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    I guess I'm just lucky. This morning I was walking the neighbor's dog when all of the sudden I saw a shape on the side walk. It was a Mandalorian helmet! Later on a hawk landed on a tree in front of me, spread it's wings, making a W shape and took off. I think God is trying to tell me Death Watch is returning.
  5. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    My prof. in my Reformation class wrote on the chalkboard "Jar Jar is Emperor of the Universe" and then drew pictures of Big Bird. I was very confused.
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  6. Blue_10 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2001
    star 4
    While doing a google image search, I came across a female stormtrooper. This confirmed to me that all roles in the movie will be played by the opposite gender and Wedge will finally get married.
    Mirax Terrik likes this.
  7. MrFantastic74 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 2010
    star 4
    My great aunt, Maggie, who has heard of Darth Vader, was rather lucid yesterday. She told me that the next film will be a coming of age story for Han Solo's son, in which he struggles with school bullies, teachers, acne and his quest to finally "do it with a girl". She followed that up with a "you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Johnny." My name isn't Johnny, but when my great aunt Maggie says "you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it", you better believe she means it.
    Last edited by MrFantastic74, Jan 21, 2013
    HanJones and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  8. BigAl6ft6 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Dave Filoni's personal jet for his butler accidentally exploded over my head as I was on the way to work. Naturally, as a I scurried through the rubble looking for scoops, I found a charred piece of paper that had written on it "Red 6 Call Sign Is Really Red 9 Call Sign = Big Twist!... My Big Fat Twi'Lek/Hutt Wedding ... Fully armed and operational Yogurt Station ..." I was then chased away by the cops because, y'know, a friggin plane had just exploded. Butler was fine, oddly.
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Jan 21, 2013
  9. BigAl6ft6 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Holy crow, found a poster-art leak! May be for a spin-off movie or the continuity for the ST has gone officially sideways. Either way, winning!
    [IMG]
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Jan 21, 2013
  10. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    Headline: SCANDAL! "NERF-HERDER" USED A RECORD 357 TIMES IN "JANGO UNCHAINED"!!!
    MrFantastic74 and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  11. awesomejedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2012
    star 3
    I was recently emailing my source from the art department when he told me he quit. After I yelled at him he told me that it was rumored that Jaina and Ben would be the main character. There goes that source.
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  12. fishtailsam Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2003
    star 4
    My fortune cookie last night read,

    "Star Wars VII will actually be a 3x5 flipbook. All the character will be stick figures. You will be able to download the soundtrack to play while you flip. Your lucky numbers are 1-1-3-8"

    Weird right?
    lbr789 likes this.
  13. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    I read on Supershadow that Abraham Lincoln will be a sith lord, and Luke will have a 8 foot long mustache with lightsabers on each end.
    HanJones likes this.
  14. EHT New Films Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2007
    star 6
  15. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    I know right? He cited his sources too. All of them were Wikipedia entries, so obviously Supershadow is right about everything.
  16. TiniTinyTony Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2003
    star 5
    Grand Moff Tarkin's grand-daughter Muff Tarkin is going to be in charge of building Dearth Star III.
    BigAl6ft6 and Panakas_Dawg like this.
  17. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I got lost in the sticks of west virginia and ended up in a small town. the street and building names gave away the plot. i came up with "jarjar revenge luke's son nerffpox jaxxon ikrit hapan"
  18. LAJ_FETT Tech Admin and Collecting/Games Mod

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2002
    star 9
    So the town I live in is fairly close to Shepperton Studios and we occasionally get staff and actors from there shopping here since there are more places to shop. I was in line at the checkout at a local supermarket behind a couple of guys who were the spitting images of Craig Charles (Lister) and Chris Barrie (Rimmer) from Red Dwarf. Both were talking about a big job they will be doing for Disney. I overheard Barrie saying how much he's always wanted to play Han Solo and Charles saying he'd make a better Lando than the original...
  19. DARTH_DEEZY Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2011
    star 1
    I ran into Supershadow at the NFC Championship game last weekend and he told me that Han Solo and Princess Leia will conceive children on screen
    Panakas_Dawg and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  20. darthtuttle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2004
    star 4
    I actually had lunch with Carrie Fisher today. She and Harrison will be doing the scene. They won't make themselves look younger and Carrie will do nothing to make herself look better.
  21. Panakas_Dawg Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 5
    I downloaded a hacked Photoshop .rar file and, after extracting and installing it, found a folder in "My Documents" labeled "All the 5t4r wAr3z 4 teh FANZ!" - inside was a script treatment and several photos of costume tests. Leia's in granny panties, Han is in an iron lung and Luke is sitting in a Hoveround. Evidently, Lando finds the Fountain of Youth and fills his Pimp Chalice with some of that Smoove, Fine Liquor. He has to get it back to Han before his kidney drops through the stoma in his diaphragm. Trying to stop him are some mutant Imperials, disguised as spice miners, with a cargo hold full of lobotomized Gungans. The Big Three (they are actually referred to as this by name in the film) have kids who have all mated in bizarre, Dark Sith Rites, and have raised inbred, Force-sensitive star spawn. Only little Tyrone Calrissian will be able to stop them. Meanwhile, Yoda's ghost has been exorcised from Dagobah, Anakin has tapped into The Supershiznit and has become a god, a one-armed Mace fights for equal rights, and Darth Sidious' Dark Essence is placed inside 3PO. Jar-Jar's grandson, an unholy Gungan-Rhodian hybrid, accidentally starts up a time machine that hurtles Panaka, Typho, Boss Nass, and Watto into the future. They have to reverse the machine's effects by heading for Cloud City, where reverse-carbon-freezing has been developed. Meanwhile, Han eats some oatmeal, Leia soaks her teeth, and Luke drinks a tall glass of Metamucil.
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  22. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    According to Jim Henson, Luke and Han will be giving birth to sith on screen. It will be a 3.5 hour ordeal directed by Eli Roth.
  23. credar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2011
    star 3
    JJ Abrams will direct Star Wars VII

    Oh, wait.
  24. BigAl6ft6 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 5
    Some guy I know in Hollywood who makes lightbubs and camera lenses just got an order for 7 trucks full of em to be delivered to the door of Lucasfilm. Oddly, he's having trouble finding it because somebody spray painted "Bad Droid" over the sign on the front door.
  25. Lord Tuvitor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 2003
    star 4
    In Episode VII, Luke Skywalker will go back in time to stop Palpatine's clone from going back in time to change the prequels to where the Clone Theory was right. Luke will stop him, but not before Palpatine's Clone's death star blows up Coruscant, spawning a new timeline and retconning the prequels, rebooting the franchise
    Last edited by Lord Tuvitor, Jan 25, 2013