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    The New Films staff strive to create a fun and welcoming environment for all users. This forum is a place for discussing the films, which means that you think the films are worth discussing. Constructive criticism (as deemed by the moderating staff) is welcome and encouraged. Bashing of any kind will not be tolerated anywhere outside The Sanctuary thread. See the new rules thread here. Bans can and will be handed out to anyone who doesn't abide by the forum rules.

Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Goofy skyped me and said that they're just going to combine Jurassic Park IV, POTC V, and SW VII into one film. It'll be 247 minutes long with 2 intermissions and an overture.
     
  2. awesomejedi

    awesomejedi Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2012
    The other night me and my friends did a midnight raid and sneaked into Skywalker Ranch. I found a picture of several grotesque aliens I'm guessing are Yuzhan Vong. One of my friends found in a trash can parts of a script and it looks to be dialogue of a fight scene between Jacen Solo and someone else.
     
  3. Panakas_Dawg

    Panakas_Dawg Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    Dude, at my last Ranch Midnight Raid, all I found was an empty bag of Cheetos, a half-full can of Red Bull, a crumpled up cartoon of Lando disco dancing with Beyonce, and a sheet of paper with the phrase "All work and no play makes George a dull boy" over and over and over again.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  4. awesomejedi

    awesomejedi Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2012
    I guess I'm just lucky. This morning I was walking the neighbor's dog when all of the sudden I saw a shape on the side walk. It was a Mandalorian helmet! Later on a hawk landed on a tree in front of me, spread it's wings, making a W shape and took off. I think God is trying to tell me Death Watch is returning.
     
  5. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    My prof. in my Reformation class wrote on the chalkboard "Jar Jar is Emperor of the Universe" and then drew pictures of Big Bird. I was very confused.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  6. Blue_10

    Blue_10 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 13, 2001
    While doing a google image search, I came across a female stormtrooper. This confirmed to me that all roles in the movie will be played by the opposite gender and Wedge will finally get married.
     
    Mirax Terrik likes this.
  7. MrFantastic74

    MrFantastic74 Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 2010
    My great aunt, Maggie, who has heard of Darth Vader, was rather lucid yesterday. She told me that the next film will be a coming of age story for Han Solo's son, in which he struggles with school bullies, teachers, acne and his quest to finally "do it with a girl". She followed that up with a "you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Johnny." My name isn't Johnny, but when my great aunt Maggie says "you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it", you better believe she means it.
     
    HanJones and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  8. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Dave Filoni's personal jet for his butler accidentally exploded over my head as I was on the way to work. Naturally, as a I scurried through the rubble looking for scoops, I found a charred piece of paper that had written on it "Red 6 Call Sign Is Really Red 9 Call Sign = Big Twist!... My Big Fat Twi'Lek/Hutt Wedding ... Fully armed and operational Yogurt Station ..." I was then chased away by the cops because, y'know, a friggin plane had just exploded. Butler was fine, oddly.
     
  9. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Holy crow, found a poster-art leak! May be for a spin-off movie or the continuity for the ST has gone officially sideways. Either way, winning!
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Panakas_Dawg

    Panakas_Dawg Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    Headline: SCANDAL! "NERF-HERDER" USED A RECORD 357 TIMES IN "JANGO UNCHAINED"!!!
     
    MrFantastic74 and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  11. awesomejedi

    awesomejedi Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2012
    I was recently emailing my source from the art department when he told me he quit. After I yelled at him he told me that it was rumored that Jaina and Ben would be the main character. There goes that source.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  12. fishtailsam

    fishtailsam Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2003
    My fortune cookie last night read,

    "Star Wars VII will actually be a 3x5 flipbook. All the character will be stick figures. You will be able to download the soundtrack to play while you flip. Your lucky numbers are 1-1-3-8"

    Weird right?
     
    lbr789 likes this.
  13. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    I read on Supershadow that Abraham Lincoln will be a sith lord, and Luke will have a 8 foot long mustache with lightsabers on each end.
     
    HanJones likes this.
  14. EHT

    EHT New Films Manager star 7 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 13, 2007
    Sounds legit.
     
  15. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    I know right? He cited his sources too. All of them were Wikipedia entries, so obviously Supershadow is right about everything.
     
  16. TiniTinyTony

    TiniTinyTony Super Bowl Pick 'Em Winner star 6 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Mar 9, 2003
    Grand Moff Tarkin's grand-daughter Muff Tarkin is going to be in charge of building Dearth Star III.
     
    BigAl6ft6 and Panakas_Dawg like this.
  17. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    I got lost in the sticks of west virginia and ended up in a small town. the street and building names gave away the plot. i came up with "jarjar revenge luke's son nerffpox jaxxon ikrit hapan"
     
  18. LAJ_FETT

    LAJ_FETT Tech Admin and Collecting/Lucasfilm Ltd Mod star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    May 25, 2002
    So the town I live in is fairly close to Shepperton Studios and we occasionally get staff and actors from there shopping here since there are more places to shop. I was in line at the checkout at a local supermarket behind a couple of guys who were the spitting images of Craig Charles (Lister) and Chris Barrie (Rimmer) from Red Dwarf. Both were talking about a big job they will be doing for Disney. I overheard Barrie saying how much he's always wanted to play Han Solo and Charles saying he'd make a better Lando than the original...
     
  19. DARTH_DEEZY

    DARTH_DEEZY Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    I ran into Supershadow at the NFC Championship game last weekend and he told me that Han Solo and Princess Leia will conceive children on screen
     
    Panakas_Dawg and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  20. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    I actually had lunch with Carrie Fisher today. She and Harrison will be doing the scene. They won't make themselves look younger and Carrie will do nothing to make herself look better.
     
  21. Panakas_Dawg

    Panakas_Dawg Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    I downloaded a hacked Photoshop .rar file and, after extracting and installing it, found a folder in "My Documents" labeled "All the 5t4r wAr3z 4 teh FANZ!" - inside was a script treatment and several photos of costume tests. Leia's in granny panties, Han is in an iron lung and Luke is sitting in a Hoveround. Evidently, Lando finds the Fountain of Youth and fills his Pimp Chalice with some of that Smoove, Fine Liquor. He has to get it back to Han before his kidney drops through the stoma in his diaphragm. Trying to stop him are some mutant Imperials, disguised as spice miners, with a cargo hold full of lobotomized Gungans. The Big Three (they are actually referred to as this by name in the film) have kids who have all mated in bizarre, Dark Sith Rites, and have raised inbred, Force-sensitive star spawn. Only little Tyrone Calrissian will be able to stop them. Meanwhile, Yoda's ghost has been exorcised from Dagobah, Anakin has tapped into The Supershiznit and has become a god, a one-armed Mace fights for equal rights, and Darth Sidious' Dark Essence is placed inside 3PO. Jar-Jar's grandson, an unholy Gungan-Rhodian hybrid, accidentally starts up a time machine that hurtles Panaka, Typho, Boss Nass, and Watto into the future. They have to reverse the machine's effects by heading for Cloud City, where reverse-carbon-freezing has been developed. Meanwhile, Han eats some oatmeal, Leia soaks her teeth, and Luke drinks a tall glass of Metamucil.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  22. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    According to Jim Henson, Luke and Han will be giving birth to sith on screen. It will be a 3.5 hour ordeal directed by Eli Roth.
     
  23. credar

    credar Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2011
    JJ Abrams will direct Star Wars VII

    Oh, wait.
     
  24. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Some guy I know in Hollywood who makes lightbubs and camera lenses just got an order for 7 trucks full of em to be delivered to the door of Lucasfilm. Oddly, he's having trouble finding it because somebody spray painted "Bad Droid" over the sign on the front door.
     
  25. Lord Tuvitor

    Lord Tuvitor Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 27, 2003
    In Episode VII, Luke Skywalker will go back in time to stop Palpatine's clone from going back in time to change the prequels to where the Clone Theory was right. Luke will stop him, but not before Palpatine's Clone's death star blows up Coruscant, spawning a new timeline and retconning the prequels, rebooting the franchise