Beyond - Legends In Which Jag Walks Into a Karaoke Bar (J/J, Mirax, Syal Antilles, Wes Janson cameo. Humor, Mush)

Title: In Which Jag Walks Into a Karaoke Bar (or: How To Drunkenly Win a Girl?s Heart Without Really Trying)
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, mush
Characters: Jag Fel, Jaina Solo, Syal Antilles, Mirax Terrik-Horn, cameo by Wes Janson
Timeframe: 41 ABY, sometime between Legacy of the Force and Fate of the Jedi
Disclaimer: Don?t own Star Wars or the characters. Those belong to Lucas and the EU writing fleet. ?I?m Just Her Satellite? was originally ?I?m Just His Satellite,? which appeared in Star Wars 77: Chanteuse of the Stars.
Summary: All Jag wants is to take Jaina out for a nice, quiet evening dinner. Unfortunately, he gets a slightly tipsy night at a karaoke bar instead.

In Which Jag Walks Into a Karaoke Bar (or: How To Drunkenly Win a Girl?s Heart Without Really Trying)


To say the Errant Venture was a hive of scum and villainy was selling it short. A more accurate description would be a hive of scum, villainy, deceit, backstabbing, and general mayhem. The famous smuggler?s hideout was known Galaxy-wide as a safe-haven for the kind of scum that skirted the edges of the law. It was hard to believe that, at one point, it had been an elegant Star Destroyer under the command of the Galactic Empire. Years ago the hallways would have been lined with uniformed officers and enlisted soldiers.

These days those same halls were marked by drunken smugglers and spacers of ill-repute. Some were slumped over on the floor. Others were in fistfights as they blocked passage to other levels. Somewhere there was an Imperial captain rolling over in his grave as chaos unfolded on the repurposed Imperial Class II Star Destroyer. To think that such a finely crafted vessel could be reduced to a mere hotbed for common crooks was unthinkable. It was unfathomable that it was being operated by one of the most notorious smugglers in the Galaxy, the illustrious scoundrel Booster Terrik.

Perhaps that?s why Jag found the ship to be so unsettling.

He stepped over a Rodian that had passed out in the middle of the access corridor; no doubt he had too much to drink. That was another thing he didn?t understand. Why would someone willingly drink themselves into a stupor like that? He preferred to have his wits about him. Idly he wondered how much liquor was stored on board the Venture. He suspected that it was at least double the food stores. Perhaps triple.

Sighing to himself, he stared at the door to what was apparently the VIP lounge of the ship, an area reserved for select guests of the Terrik family. How in the world had he found himself on that particular list of individuals?

Ah, right. Uncle Wedge.

It wasn?t all that well known that he was the nephew of Wedge Antilles, one of the most noted and beloved heroes of the Rebellion and New Republic. For the most part, it was a wonderful thing to have a relative like him. It had made Jag?s transition from Chiss space to the New Republic and, later, the Imperial Remnant significantly easier. Of course, there were also drawbacks, such as being brought into the Antilles Circle of Friends and, by extension, Mirax Terrik-Horn?s Bi-Annual Drink Night.

Steeling himself, he keyed for the door entry and stepped inside.

To say he was surprised to find a well-lit, well decorated, and (dare he say it) classy looking bar and lounge was an understatement. There were tables with tablecloths, candles, and a lack of inebriated spacers passed out awkwardly on top of them. The patrons actually seemed to be alert and responsive. At the bar was a well-dressed young man and an older, middle-aged man tending bar. Their hands even looked clean. Clearly there was only one explanation for this. He had crossed over some sort of space-time rift and was no longer on the Errant Venture. Or, perhaps he was on some sort of strange alternate reality Venture where everyone on board had been replaced by a body double that possessed a shred of civility.

The door behind him slid open causing Jag to quickly step to the side.

?Evening ev

 

I know I've told you already, but this is absolutely adorable. I love the bits of depth you've given all the characters, and the history that's implicit in the setup.

Also, it's really sweet and makes me say "aww" a lot.

 

I can't even tell you which part of the story was my favorite because you kept having me giggle throughout the whole thing.



It was funny and it was cute and the characters came over so very normal.

Wonderful job you did here!

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwww ...

Sappy, happy J/J mush always makes me, well, happy.

I like this. A lot. Any chance someone in that bar was recording Jag's slightly drunken serenade? Seeing Han's reaction (or Soontir's!) to this would, I'm sure, be hilarious.

For us, anyway. Maybe not for Jag.

 

Oh wow.

 

This was wonderful! I love Jaina's reaction, too funny. Syal and Mirax gave him some advice he really needed.

 

Mirax_Corran - I know I've told you already, but this is absolutely adorable. I love the bits of depth you've given all the characters, and the history that's implicit in the setup.

Thank you! I debated whether or not to go into more detail, but some things are better to the reader's imagination.

Ceillea - It was funny and it was cute and the characters came over so very normal.

I'm really happy I could convey that sense of normalcy. One of the things I've learned from reading the EU novels is that, occasionally, it's perfectly acceptable to portray our brave heroes in a more humble setting. One of my favorite writers in the EU force is Aaron Allston and he excels with that idea.

Glad I could make you laugh!

Nymue - Sappy, happy J/J mush always makes me, well, happy.

It's the one and only Jaina related ship I can get behind and if things aren't patched up by the end of Fate of the Jedi I will be penning a rather vitriolic letter to Monsieur Denning.

I like this. A lot. Any chance someone in that bar was recording Jag's slightly drunken serenade? Seeing Han's reaction (or Soontir's!) to this would, I'm sure, be hilarious.

For us, anyway. Maybe not for Jag.

There's a writing trope called "...and hilarity ensues." That would most likely be an apt description if a recording ever got out.

Personally I think the girls should conspire to get Jag and Han tipsy on stage together.

Fel's Goddess - Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed

EmpressJainaSoloFel - This was wonderful! I love Jaina's reaction, too funny. Syal and Mirax gave him some advice he really needed.

Never underestimate the wisdom from a pair of fiery Corellian girls!

Thanks for reading everyone. This was a fun little viggy to write.

~Lane

 

That was so funny, cute, sappy, mushy & romantice! I Love It !!

Something that Jaina will never forget. Great Job.

 

I'm forced to create words to describe how amazing this is. Hilarawesome? Adorysterical? Schadentastic? They all seem so inadequate. Two words, then: excellent work.

 

Oh my God, soooo cute and funny! I love the idea that Jag would let loose once in a while to do something completely and utterly foolishly perfect.

Cheers,
DLPP

 

Kailene - Given the amount of angsting that regularly goes on on Jaina's somewhat disastrous love life, I figured she could use a moment in time that wasn't teetering on the edge of miserable. Glad you enjoyed it!

Sticks - Well I'm not sure if it warrants an addendum to Webster's, but thank you for the kind words!

DLPP - Jag's a little too reserved sometimes. Of course that's why being related to the Antilles family is good for him. Nothing like some bad Corellian influence to open someone up. Thanks for reading!

 

hilarious!
count on Mirax and Syal to set his head straight

 

Absolutely. Never doubt the wisdom of a pair of Corellian girls!

 

I think the word "scrumtralescent" fits nicely here.



Well done! I love funny Star Wars stories. There can never be enough of them!

 

Scrumtralescent. I do believe that is my Buffy Speak word of the Day

Thanks for reading JediMara77!