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Incandescence: A JA Fic [Post-Special Edition 2] New Post 5/31

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Tahiri, Mar 31, 2002.

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  1. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Title: Incandescence: A JA Fic [Post-Special Edition 2]
    Author: Tahiri
    Rating: Well, it?s going to have quite a bit of darkness, quite a bit of fighting too, so you be the judge of whether you like that...
    Summary: Following JA Special Edition 2: The Followers, the Council assigns Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi to do a follow-up of their previous mission, and discover which anonymous groups were trying to get the Sith Holocron. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan find themselves drowning in deception, deceit, and lies, but know that it is vital to complete their mission ? but will they be able to survive the onslaught?
    Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, except the plot and anything I make up... The rest belongs to Lucas.

    Wow, that summary sounds really corny! Ahhhhhhh, okay, this is the first shot I?m taking at writing a JA fic, and I hope it turns out well. I?ve been a big fan of Obi fics, and I?m going to take a shot at it. Since I'm not sleeping even though it's nearly 4 AM I decided "what the hell, why not post?" and I'm drinking a mocha cappuccino and those always make me hyper...

    Anyway, read and tell me what you think please! :)

    ===================
    ===================

    Prologue

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*

    in·can·des·cence (\in`can*des"cence\)
    n.
    1. The emission of visible light by a hot object.
    2. The light emitted by an incandescent object.
    3. A high degree of emotion, or intensity.
    4. White, glowing, or luminous, with brilliance.
    5. Clear, shining, brilliant.


    ~ The Dictionary

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The Jedi Temple was a vast and spacious complex on the city-planet of Coruscant, and with its five towers and elegant architecture, considered the most ideal place to live, if anywhere, on the planet. Its luscious gardens of exotic plants and beauty were unrivaled by any other patch of land in the city, and as the city did not have much land, was highly valued. It had lovely arches, grand corridors, intricate carvings in their stone. The Temple glowed with a thriving culture, that of life and peace and good. And it exuded a sense of serenity and calm, so much like it inhabitants.

    Most of them, at least.

    The children of the Temple stayed in the crèches, raised by Jedi Masters who took time to see to their every need, to nurture them and encourage their abilities. The children, although in the Jedi Temple, were but children, and acted as children would. They hid from their masters, they got into fights, they cried over things they shouldn?t ? generally acting as one their age might. Crèche Masters joked that the children were harder to handle than conspiring governments, crime lords, and all other things as such. The Jedi Masters and knights laughed with them, agreeing vaguely. Children were much harder to raise as apprentices and padawans than battles and political agreements, in the long run.

    But the padawans, upon hearing this, would disagree ? they prided themselves by obeying their masters and learning their lessons well. After all, they were the next generation of Jedi Knights ? and not a single one couldn?t say they didn?t look forward to that day.

    The Masters still fondly said that children were much more trouble than anything else ? trouble, and a force to be reckoned with. Formidable ? if they so chose to be.

    But Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi wasn?t sure he agreed. And on his way back to the Temple with his master, Qui-Gon Jinn, he knew that raising children wasn?t the only thing the Temple would have trouble dealing with in the near future.

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had only recently been sent on a mission to find a Sith Holocron, and keep it from reaching any Sith sect ? for if one did, then the Jedi would face a great terror and darkness that they hadn?t seen since the end of the Sith Wars.

    They had stopped the brilliant Professor Murk Lundi from reaching the Sith Holocron ? only barely ? but did not get to it themselves. It had fallen too deep to retrieve at the moment, and if
  2. Jee-dai Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2000
    star 3
    I haven't read The Followers, but this sounds like an interesting story. Please do continue. :D
  3. Cow_Girl Chapter Rep Niagara ON, CA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2001
    star 5
    Wow, that was a great start.

    That Professor Lundi Guy really is quite creepy...

    Good start, I hope that we see more soon :)
  4. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Thanks :)

    Any other takers for this fic?

    Oh! I always forget, since I don't celebrate it, but happy Easter!
  5. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Please continue.As for those who did not read Special Edition2,you did not miss too much. (This story sounds better than "2"}Watson's way of trying to ween us from QGJ/OBI,which I refuse to do.JA18, on the other hand is worth buying.PEACE Ewen
  6. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    This is an encouraging start. I also haven't read the books, but I'm having no trouble following this story so far.
  7. Amidala22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 1999
    star 3
    I need more! That was great, I can't wait to see how you play you're story out. Please post again!! (of course I'll bug u at school if you don't!:)!!) How's your film project? Did you get what you needed done?
  8. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    I got it done...twice! My computer deleted it the first time and so i made a shorter version. Ah well, I tried and it seemed funny. Hehe, so you like the beginning? You have to finish telling me your story too on the bus :D
  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I think that you are doing a much better job on the story than J Watson did. I am defintely interested on reading more.
  10. Amidala22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 1999
    star 3
    I'll only finish my story if you continue writing this soon!! What you were telling me about has gotten me completely hooked! Want more my story? You have to WRITE!!! Peace and hope everyone had a Happy Easter (this is belated, I know).
  11. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    This definately sounds interesting. I stopped reading the JA books after #16 I believe. I get more from the fics on this site than from those, so.....

    Keep writing! I cant wait to see where you take this :)
  12. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    This definately sounds interesting. I stopped reading the JA books after #16 I believe. I get more from the fics on this site than from those, so.....

    Keep writing! I cant wait to see where you take this :)

    Also, thanks for your comments on From this Moment. It was one of my first fics.
  13. JM-Anakin-Solo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2002
    star 4
    That was really good. I haven't read anything Pre-ANH, besides some of the Han trilogy, but your story was interesting. :D I can't wait to read more. Keep writing.
  14. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Know what would make this a really good story,IF YOU POST AGAIN.PEACE Ewen
  15. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Jee-Dai & Jane Jinn -- The Followers was good, but it stopped Obi & Qui's part when it was just starting to get really interesting; that's why this fic is here 8-}

    Cow_Girl -- Lundi's fun to write :) Insane guys always have something interesting to say :D

    PadawanKitara -- *blushes* I can't write like J Watson in the least bit!

    Shanobi -- I really liked that one :) It was my pleasure to comment on it!

    ewen -- lol, I guess lots of posts would make any story better 8-} Well, here's one now...

    JM-Anakin-Solo -- Hehe, thanks :) This is the first Star Wars fic I've written that isn't in the NJO-era, or that isn't AU.

    Well, the stupid idea won?t leave me alone, so here?s some more. Thanks for the feedback, everyone! :)

    ===================
    ===================

    Chapter I

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ?A figure. Obi-Wan allowed his fear to grow with the image. Then he relaxed and let the fear go, focusing on the figure. But no matter how he tried, he could not see a face. The visage remained in shadow and a feeling became clear ? the feeling that someone had discovered them.?

    ~ Jude Watson, Jedi Apprentice Special Edition 2: The Followers

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Qui-Gon was preparing to land the ship when his young apprentice awoke. Obi-Wan begrudgingly got to his feet, pulling his tunic and robe back on and fumbling to latch his lightsaber back on his utility belt. Stumbling to the ?fresher unit, he splashed some water on his face, and, running his hand through his hair, pushed away whatever physical weariness was leftover.

    But that didn?t keep his mind from feeling tired. Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to step off the ship, go to his and Qui-Gon?s quarters, and take a nice, long nap before anything else. But he knew he wouldn?t be, as he stepped into the cockpit. When he arrived, he noticed that Lundi?s cage ? and Lundi, with it ? had already been disembarked, and Lundi was probably being closely examined by the Jedi healers. Qui-Gon motioned him over.

    ?Padawan,? Qui-Gon said in a soft voice. ?You need to meet with the healers and go over what has happened. Request to speak to Master Xek?la Rori, the Mind Healer. Make sure you tell him as much as you can of Lundi?s behavior ? tell him anything and everything he wants to know.?

    Obi-Wan made a slight face at the mention of Xek'la Rori, but nodded, the sleep leaving his features, and promptly swept off the ship to do as his master said.

    Watching after his padawan, Qui-Gon noticed the boy?s mere presence growing stronger and more graceful as his training continued. The boy had grown wiser, knew how to handle situations well, and was beginning to take an active part in helping his master with difficult negotiations. His lightsaber technique was, certainly, becoming more and more like an art, rather than rudimentary swordsmanship.

    Qui-Gon smiled. Obi-Wan would become a great Jedi Knight.

    Turning back to the matters on hand, Qui-Gon left instructions with the nearest Temple helper to power the ship down. Making his way to the Temple?s main gate, he purposefully strode towards the Council Chambers, knowing that they were waiting for him to give a full report.

    He was not looking forward to it.

    As he reached the doors of the Council, they quickly drifted open to give him admittance, and shut behind him as he entered and stood before them. All twelve of them were present, each giving Qui-Gon their full attention ? each fixing their eyes and the Force on him.

    Mace Windu knit his long fingers together. ?Give us your report.?

    Qui-Gon told them about the lecture of Lundi?s they had gone to watch; how he had abruptly announced he was leaving for a week. How he and Obi-Wan tracked him down, followed him to the planet Nolar, then Kodai, and how they had followed him to the beaches and watched as the shore receded ? a once-a-decade occurrence ? and followed him into a rocky crevasse, just barely managing to get the Holocron away from him ? but losing it in the process.

    Mace nodded,
  16. Amidala22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 1999
    star 3
    More posting Tahiri!! It's great! I think this slow going is going to kill me. I like your story and I'll tell you more of mine tommorrow:). You write another chapter, alright? Peace.
  17. Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 3
    Very nicely written, I am definitely intrigued.
    Looking forward to more posts :)

    Rogue
  18. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I like the way you kept the story going. I agree that part I of Special Editions ended abruptly.
  19. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Hmm, this is getting more interesting. I think I prefer your writing to Jude Watson's, anyway. And the pacing seems just right to me--many fan fics are too rushed for my taste, too much jumping abruptly from one thing to another. So, somebody "knows" and Obi-Wan has to die? Keep going, keep going, I want to find out more about this!
  20. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    I want to write something really angsty, and it will get to that, but not as abruptly as other fics. I don't want to do another Qui-Gon-is-mean-to-Obi fic because although I absolutely LIVE for those, I don't think I'd get nearly as good at writing that than anything else. I have so many weird writing styles, it's crazy. Ah well...read & learn, is what I've got to do. Maybe I'll be able to write an angsty ficcie sometime in the near future ;)
  21. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I just came back from a week long meeting, but where are you???
  22. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Here?s some more. Oh! And the store, Bath & Body Shop is a cross of The Body Shop and Bath & Body Works. :)

    ===================
    ===================

    Chapter II

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ?It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls.?

    ~ Epicurus

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The city planet of Coruscant was splendid at nighttime, a ball of glitter in the galaxy?s eye. Its crowded streets were full of young and old, all bustling around and busy, either strolling or relaxing, to rushing to finish something. The city was illuminated by its elaborate buildings, each offering an exquisite show of lights for those outside on the streets along side it. Anyone could see its aesthetic allure.

    But Obi-Wan Kenobi did not see what the Council wanted them doing out there. ?Master,? he said, a frown tugging at his lips, ?what exactly does this new mission of ours entail??

    ?Much caution,? Qui-Gon replied absently, walking purposefully through the crowded streets. Obi-Wan and Bant had a bit of trouble keeping up with the tall master?s strides.

    ?So enlighten me, my Master - what is this mission again? I don?t remember ever hearing it the first time.?

    ?I never told you.?

    ?I?m glad you see my point, Master. Care to fix that at all??

    Qui-Gon let a soft smile grace his expression, before turning to look at his Padawan?s face.

    He studied the boy?s features carefully. The young, bright, and eager child he had taken as his apprentice had grown into a wise and brilliant young man; his boyish features still there, but the sharpness of a coming of age taking shape, features delicate yet defined. He was a handsome, skilled swordfighter and negotiator, more so than Qui-Gon could have imagined him to be. He had proven himself beyond everyone?s expectations, to the point that Qui-Gon stopped setting limits on his Padawan?s abilities.

    ?All in good time, Padawan,? he said serenely.

    The look on his Padawan?s face was priceless. Although not letting his amusement and pride leak through their bond or expression, he knew that the boy would one day be able to stare down a whole herd of senators if he wanted to.

    Bant Eerin smiled at her friend and let out a little chuckle. Before Obi-Wan could glare at her as well, she told Qui-Gon, ?I?m beginning to get a bit curious myself. What is it that we?re looking for now??

    Qui-Gon didn?t answer right away, instead pointing them towards a transport that would take them to a different area of the city. As the sat down in a corner, Qui-Gon casually replied, ?Clothing.?

    Obi-Wan blinked at Qui-Gon, who was busy smiling amiably at an old man sitting across from them. He exchanged a glance with Bant, who had a similar expression of utter confusion etched across her own features. Then Obi-Wan turned away and looked suspiciously around the bus, muttering, ?I don?t even want to know....?

    They stayed silent like that, until Qui-Gon stood at a stop and motioned for them to follow. They did, until they reached a shopping center, bustling with people - all human. Many of the clothing centers on Coruscant were designed for a certain species only, although many still carried variations of their brand for other species.

    As they were walking, Obi-Wan caught bits of conversations as he passed other people. On his left he saw two girls, a bit younger than himself, in the front of a store titled Bath & Body Shop. They were holding out perfumes and skin lotion and smelling them carefully. ?This one smells like pealles,? the girl with the brown hair said to the other.

    The red haired one smelled it as well. ?Ah...jizzits! I don?t have enough credits for that one....?

    Her friend shrugged. ?I wouldn?t get it, anyway. The muja fruit one is much better....?

    Obi-Wan had turned back to keep his eyes on Qui-Gon when he heard a chorus of giggles come from his right, where Bant was walking beside him. He followed her irritated glare to three more human females, around his a
  23. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Poor Obi-Wan, is Bant going to be enough protection against females on the prowl [face_laugh]

    I'm glad you're back. This just too good to let drop. :)
  24. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Tee hee...poor Obi :) I just imagine him really naive about girls, being sheltered by the Temple and Qui-Gon and all...
  25. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Oh, there's more! :) I was confused at first until I went back and found that you'd edited part 1 into a previous post. So Obi-Wan knows that he's a target? And he's jumping at little sounds? This doesn't sound good. That holocron sounded decidedly evil; let's hope the Sith do not get to it.

    The part about the girls trying to flirt with him was good, though, and the way that Bant was there to protect him. "Ignore the ditz." Too funny! But what's this about looking for clothing, and espionage?

    I'd like to read more! Who are the parties interested in this holocron?
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