Before Innocence Adorned - Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Apr 24, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: Innocence Adorned
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Summary: A Master ponders his Padawan?s destiny.


    Innocence Adorned


    ?Innocence is like polished armor; it adorns and defends.? - Bishop Robert South


    This boy, poised just on the threshold of manhood, gives himself up to the sleep of the innocent. I lightly touch the auburn hair, which springs warm and vital under my hand and I cannot help but smile when he stirs. With a brush of the Force, I send him back to his land of dreams.

    I hope his dreams are pleasing ones that bring him joy.

    My own dreams trouble me lately, and it is that disquiet that has roused me from my own uneasy bed and brought me to the edge of his. I want to watch over him, reassure myself that is he is well and sleeping as he should be. All is well?for now.

    For the first time in my life, I find myself experiencing true terror and my heart is a cold stone weight inside my chest. I feel my dread radiating out into the Force in dark tendrils, and I try to let it dissipate there, but it clings to me stubbornly. It will not be dismissed so easily as that.

    Almost visible, the unknown enemy hovers beside me, lingering over Obi-Wan as well. Something dark and terrible stalks my Padawan and I am defenseless against it. I desire nothing more than to make my stand here and now, paying for his safety with my life if I have to.

    The enemy, however, seems content to wait and so must I.

    Desperate, I have tried to focus on the source of the danger, but always it eludes me as easily as if I have given warning of my intentions. It is a mist that surrounds him and I am unable to grasp or identify it. Gracefully, it wisps around him, grabbing him in its greedy embrace while he sleeps on unaware.

    He is too innocent to grasp his peril or the darkness that slumbers in wait.

    It is hungry and it is waiting for Obi-Wan. Silent and patient, the enemy is formidable indeed and perhaps beyond the skills of a humble knight like myself. I have pondered going to Master Yoda and revealing my fears to him. I am not ready for that, however. Not yet. The time may come, or I might yet defeat this unseen enemy on my own. It is not pride that prompts my reticence, but uncertainty. I cannot be sure I have interpreted the visions correctly. When I am sure, perhaps then I can speak to someone else.

    But if my fears prove true, then the fault will be my own.

    Somewhere, somehow, I will fail him. The mere thought of that failure lances through me like a saber and for a moment I cling to the pain, hoping it will bring with it clarity and purpose. Still, the details evade me. My fear is too vague and unfocused.

    Already, I fail him. I cannot see what waits for him.

    With an uneasy sigh, I sink down into the chair beside his bed and let my eyes drink their fill of him. Obi-Wan is the epitome of what every Jedi should want to be. Even when he has stumbled on his path, he has been a true and righteous light in a galaxy that is increasingly dark.

    My pride in him knows no bounds.

    Sometimes I fear that it is my very pride that will be his undoing. I know how much he is capable of and I worry that I push him too hard, too fast. It is true that he seems to thrive on the challenges I fling his way; he devours them, conquers them, and then asks for more. What more could any master ask?

    This boy, this almost man, will be the Jedi I had always hoped to be. I always fell short of the mark, at least in my own mind, and that is where it matters most I suppose. In Obi-Wan, however, I see the culmination of all those dreams and hopes. He is a blinding beacon in the Force.

    And yet I cannot dismiss my fears.

    Almost as if I can sense our dark companion, I look over my shoulder, half-expecting to see some leering, demonic face staring back at me in evil satisfaction. Perhaps the enemy knows that I will prove an unworthy guardian. My heart feels heavy as if pulled down by the weight of my guilt. I do not want to fail him and yet I know I will.

    My sorrow knows no boundar
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Nice vignette on Qui-Gon's thoughts about Obi-Wan. A rather father moment. I know that sometimes I watch my kid sleep and wonder what is in store for her.

    Loved the ending.

    Even after I am gone, my Obi-Wan will not be alone.

    It will have to be enough.


    Great job.
  3. Linterambiel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2004
    star 1


    My fears are still present, lurking just beneath the layer of serenity which is the greatest gift of the Force. Now, however, I am strengthened by its promise, soothed by its unending power.

    Even after I am gone, my Obi-Wan will not be alone.

    It will have to be enough.



    I just finished watching ROTS for the first time in awhile, and after that reading this, my heart is doubly broken.... *sniff* That was so beautiful, Kim.
  4. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    beautiful these thoughts of Qui-Gon. Seeing how they really are: two beings of light
  5. Larkonna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 20, 1999
    star 2
    Wow. That was one of the best written vignettes I've seen written in this forum.

    You did a great job depicting the inner turmoil of Qui-Gon.
  6. azizah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2006
    star 1
    Beautiful.

    I loved this - Obi-Wan will always be protected by that core of innocence. It may not save his life, but it will save his soul. He belongs to the Force and he serves it as I must.

    Sad, but in a way uplifting. Nice work.

    azizah
  7. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    I loved how you show Qui-Gons true feelings for Obi-Wan. If only he could put his thoughts into words.

    The scene was lovely having Qui-Gon sit on the edge of his bed watching him, just like a Father would do.

    Very nice.=D=
  8. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    How frustrating for Qui-Gon to have such overwhelming fears and not be able to do anything about them.

    Now, however, I am strengthened by its promise, soothed by its unending power.

    Even after I am gone, my Obi-Wan will not be alone.


    I'm gald to see he put his trust in the Force

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  9. erikawr05 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2006
    star 1
  10. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Beautifully crafted, vadey. A touching father-son moment. Loved the image of Qui-Gon brushing through Obi-Wan's hair.
  11. palpyisgod2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 2
    sigh...*melts into a puddle of goo*
  12. Veloz Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2004
    star 6
    :D Oooh i hadnt seen this one! ... it's always a treat to find ur writtings :)

    This boy, poised just on the threshold of manhood, gives himself up to the sleep of the innocent. I lightly touch the auburn hair, which springs warm and vital under my hand and I cannot help but smile when he stirs. With a brush of the Force, I send him back to his land of dreams.
    This was so sweet and tender, love it!

    With an uneasy sigh, I sink down into the chair beside his bed and let my eyes drink their fill of him. Obi-Wan is the epitome of what every Jedi should want to be. Even when he has stumbled on his path, he has been a true and righteous light in a galaxy that is increasingly dark.

    My pride in him knows no bounds.

    Sometimes I fear that it is my very pride that will be his undoing. I know how much he is capable of and I worry that I push him too hard, too fast. It is true that he seems to thrive on the challenges I fling his way; he devours them, conquers them, and then asks for more. What more could any master ask?

    This boy, this almost man, will be the Jedi I had always hoped to be. I always fell short of the mark, at least in my own mind, and that is where it matters most I suppose. In Obi-Wan, however, I see the culmination of all those dreams and hopes. He is a blinding beacon in the Force.

    Great description of Obi Wan imo =D=


    Perhaps the most I can hope for is that when it is time for me to pass out of his life, he will have someone else who loves him as much as I do, who will give their life to protect him as I would. There is some hope in that thought and I try to find comfort in it.

    ?Good night, my Padawan,? I whisper as I reach his door. ?May the Force be your guide.?

    :_| and in the end it is Obi Wan who gave his life to protect others :(

    Obi-Wan will always be protected by that core of innocence. It may not save his life, but it will save his soul. He belongs to the Force and he serves it as I must.
    Wonderfu, truly wonderful =D=

    I had to stop cause i was simply going to quote the whole thing :p

    I really enjoyed this, amazing job! =D=
  13. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    aw, beautiful work VaderLVR64 :)

    I adored it. =D=
  14. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Absolutely beautiful! You have a wonderful talent and I am thankful that you share it with us. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.
  15. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Aww, such a lovely image. [face_love] Love that bit of forboding feeling woven through the story, but as always they Qui-Gon will trust in the Force.
  16. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    I can't believe I didn't comment on this the first time I read it!?!?

    Well, I'm back reading it again, because I remember how beautiful it is.

    And it is.

    Every image, every word, every emotion, pitch perfect.

    And of course I'm all teary eyed over it.

    Beautiful work MamaVader
  17. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    dianethx I think all parents do. :p

    Linterambiel Thank you! :)

    earlybird-obi-wan Thanks so much for reading. :)

    Larkonna Glad you liked it. [face_blush]

    azizah No one could have done a better job of handling what was left after Anakin's fall. :_|

    Gkilkenny I think a lot of parents have trouble putting their feelings into words. The feelings are just SO BIG! They fill you up and defy description.

    KELIA Glad you liked it. [:D]

    erikawr05 Thanks! :D

    Princess_Arulmozhi I do that to my kids. :p

    palpyisgod2 Do you need a paper towel? ;)

    Veloz
    Thank you. [face_blush]

    Kestrel_Kenobi Thanks for reading! :D

    jedidas3 I'm just glad that anyone wants to read it! :p

    Jedi_Tigris It's hard to guess what Qui-Gon might have felt about the future, but hopefully this rings slightly true. :)

    ratna I love making people cry. [face_devil]



  18. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    I loved the insights into Qui's thoughts, it's rare to read them, but I feel that you nailed them perfectly. Thanks for writing! :)
  19. wolf_kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2007
    star 1
    Beautifully done- a truly touching look at Qui-Gon's hope for Obi-Wan.
  20. celine Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2007
    star 2
    Beautiful work, Vadey! I recently posted a piece which has some striking similarities...but my vignette was about Obi-wan's fatherly fears for Anakin. Great minds think alike?[face_laugh]
  21. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    dimyavie Thank YOU for reading.

    wolf_kenobi I'm so glad you liked it. :)

    celine Yes indeed! :p


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