Innocence Lost: A Tale of Redemption

...I thought you were special. I thought you should know ...
---

Son of Kenobi stared out at the high, bright suns. The recent moments of destruction were not in his conscious mind but deeper, curled around his brain stem. Right now he was thinking of demons. Demons and forgotten warriors. Demon God-Warriors who dominated everyone beneath them, raping their minds.

His grin was huge, all-encompassing.

Except ... wars not make one great.

He laughed hard, and felt his mind expand, bloating into the giant, surrounded by a kaleidoscope of images, images of another life. Jholn Ascara. A man who had lived a hard life, filled with pain ? and one perfect love. He saw it all, and denied nothing. He could not deny the fact that everyone was against him ? particularly his beloved Mairoh. It did not matter.

"I have me!" he said brightly, a slip of drool on the side of his mouth. Tears ran down his face, but he was laughing.

I'm dead, he thought. Dead, dead, dead. Dead rejection. Dad Dad Dad. His eyes blazed. Dad rejection. His mind grew further, and in his mind's eye, he saw a woman standing alone on a beautiful grassland, while a cloud of dust danced around her in a widening arc. A Jedi's starship was ascending to the stars. In her arms, she cradled her ******* child Shirow-Wan.

Shirow-Wan, the son of Kenobi.

The Jedi had left his mother and him when he was an infant. Kenobi knew that for a fact. His mother had told him that Obi-Wan knew of his existence, but did not accept him as his own blood, although the Jedi had apparently given him the name "Shirow-Wan." In later years, he realized it was a one-sided tale, but his father never sought to find him, or tell his side. At the age of five, Shirow-Wan Kenobi learned the pain of true rejection

Knowing how strong in the Force he was, his mother allowed the Jedi to take him to Coruscant. She knew that it would help to ease the burden that he would have to live with for the rest of his life. At the Jedi Temple, Shirow-Wan insisted on simply being called "Padawan." The pain of his father's rejection, bolstered by his mother's bitterness towards the legendary Jedi, prompted Kenobi to forever banish the name "Shirow-Wan" from his mind. Using an inverse of the "Jedi mind trick," he succeeded.

Life as a Jedi apprentice was not easy. The pain of rejection did not diminish with the loss of his name, nor did it help him to hear how so many Jedi revered his father. He isolated himself from the other young Jedi, and they, in turn, gladly avoided him. His only friends were animals populating the Temple grounds. Communicating with them gave him the only peace from the pain in his mind, he pain that stayed with him no matter how hard he trained to cleanse it. Catharsis was always beyond his reach.

At the cusp of thirteen, SoK assumed that his aloofness and internal struggles with his emotions would keep him from active Jedi service. He prepared himself for a life as a scholar, and his lightsaber gathered dust at the topmost level of his desk.

Fate--and the Force--had other plans.

The Jedi Master Chalon Xer, famed throughout the Galaxy for his strict asceticism, discovered Kenobi in the Temple library. He had not taken an apprentice in over fifty years, but SoK's constant struggle with his inner emotions, and his intensity intrigued the Master. Having once been rather intense himself, Xer took him as his padawan learner and renounced his own name, calling himself only by his Jedi rank.

It didn't take long for Kenobi to warm up to his Master, or tell him about his parentage, and subsequent rejection. Reticent though he was with his fellow students, he had desperately wanted to be understood, and his Master provided a safe haven, without conditions. The catharsis Kenobi had sought for years and years was finally within his grasp. Together, they were quiet crusaders, relying on telepathy when dealing with pirates or gangsters.

Soon, the Master took a less active stance than his Padawan, and SoK found his reputation preceding him. He never

 

Uh-oh, Kenobi's lost it.

Confusing, but good. Perhaps I have an unfair advantage being that I know all the little details about Jholn Ascara. At least I think I do. Is Jholn who I think he is Mairoh? I'm asking since I've never seen his name spelled out before, so this might not be who I think he is.

-Elisia Goddess of the Night

 

Wow, two posts in one week! Can you guys handle it? Yes that's right, I'm here to give you all the next chapter of Innocence Lost. I can't believe I wrote this fast.

And yes, Elisia, Jholn is who you think he is.

<In each of us, two natures are at war-- the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, and one of them must conquer. But in our own hands lies the power to choose-- what we want most to be we are.>

Mairoh, the Jedi-Warrior Goddess

 

Whitefire walked slowly along the beaten old path that wound its way idly through the woods. The afternoon rays that shone in patches through the leaves made dapples on his white coat. He took in the many smells and sounds of the forest, enjoying the breeze that was cooller here than in the village.

Plants always look dead here, at first glance, he thought to himself as he walked. The golden foliage caught the light and glistened like precious metal, and the silvery bark of the trees sparkled softly. A nice change from the green of most planets.

Whitefire's ears twitched slightly as they caught a noise; raising his head, he flared his nostrils to test the wind, but smelled nothing. He picked up his feet more, watching the woods around him cautiously--

--then abruptly dropped to one knee as a Unicorn mare appeared in front of him. She pricked her ears at him, and dropped her head a little, walking slowly towards him on slender legs. Her snowy coat shone where the light hit it, and her white mane and tail, streaked with the golden tell-tale signs of age, ruffled slightly in the breeze.

"Rise, my son," the Unicorn said softly, touching him gently with her horn, a delicate, spiraled thing that was so white it glowed. "You know you need not bow before me." Whitefire rose slowly, and rubbed his muzzle against her neck.

"It is good to see you again, mother," he told her, and she whickered softly.

"As it is good to see you," she returned. "It has been far too long." She gave him a gentle nudge with her head, then turned, indicating that he should walk with her. Whitefire fell in easily beside her, shortening his stride to match hers as they moved on down the path.

"How go things with the council, esrai Saliyan?" the stallion asked her. Saliyan shrugged her ears to the side.

"They go well enough." The mare paused, then continued, "Everyone, it seems, is in a panic-- with the exception of the First Ones, of course." She gave him a sideways glance. "The time is very near."

Whitefire snorted in agreement. "It is very near," he agreed softly. He looked to the side of the path, studying the leaves that lay there on the ground. Saliyan flicked her ears towards him.

"Do you think she will do it?" the mare asked. There was no need for names; both knew very well whom they were discussing. Whitefire blew air out his nostrils in a long sigh.

"I think she will destroy him if there is no other alternative," he replied frankly. "But first she will try to redeem him." He looked back over at the Unicorn walking beside him; Saliyan shook her head slightly, making her frost-colored mane bounce.

"Who knows?" she said quietly. "Perhaps the girl can do it." There was doubt in her voice, though; Whitefire flicked his ears back slightly in annoyance, but said nothing. Saliyan saw, though, and gave a soft whicker. "You're rather close to her, are you not?" she asked him; Whitefire looked over at her briefly.

"Yes," he admitted, "very close." The stallion looked away from her again, studying the plants that grew at the very edge of the path, watching the insects that crawled among the golden foliage. Saliyan pricked her ears forward in sad amusement, and let out a soft sigh.

"The council still does not approve of your decision to bond with the Goddess," she told him quietly. Whitefire snorted, but said nothing; his mother continued, "Still, even they realize that it cannot be undone now. Your bond with the Goddess is unusually strong." She gave him a sideways glance. "Most Protectors do not fall in love with their Protected."

Whitefire pinned his ears angrily. "Most Protectors do not bother to learn their Protected's name, either. Would you have me be as cold-hearted?" He glanced over at Saliyan, who was staring at him calmly, and blew out a long sigh. "I'm sorry," he told her, raising his ears. "It is just that so many of the ways of the council are ways that I find?disagreeable."

Saliyan put her ears forward in laughter. "Disagreeable is quite an understatement, I think," she pointed out. "Though," she admitted, "I find myself at od

 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!

[This message has been edited by Elisia (edited 01-20-2000).]

 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!

[This message has been edited by Elisia (edited 01-20-2000).]

 

, I'm loving the fact that I know all the little details with this , at least I think I do.

But all the same, good post!

-Elisia Goddess of the Night

 

Okay, here be the next chapter! Oh, and this is just a little note: All of the "stand-alone" blocks of italicized words in my posts (and most of them in Mairoh's) are lyrics from the band Garbage. We were going to give them credit at the end of the story, but I figured I'd do it now, as well, since they're a huge inspiration to this story, and especially this post,

Anyway, enjoy, and thanks again for all your guys' wonderful support,

 

The son of Kenobi walked slowly down the darkened streets, his black cloak flaring in the wind behind him. His hazel eyes were outlined in black, his dark hair slicked back in a tight ponytail, untouched by the howling wind.

I tried hard to mend my wicked ways
Acted like a lunatic for years
Lord knows I try to be good
I'd keep my promises if only I could
You count your blessings that I can't rely on you.

Straight in front of him, the onyx citadel towered into the sky, its diabolical shape laying out its intentions in spiked turrets and row after row of scaled cannons at every level. This was the merchant of dream?s lair. In certain circles, the man?s reputation for delivering on his promises was matched only by his rumored depravity. Kenobi had to ignore that. His objective transcended his personal ethics. Kenobi?s palm reached into his black tunic, keyed the signal for entry. He took a deep breath. There would be no turning back.

The high, ominous gates parted, and Kenobi entered, pulling his hood back. Inside, the merchant received him, all dry hand-washing and silvery smiles. A high miter rose on the merchant?s head, above short snowy white hair and sallow, yellow skin. Crimson robes flowed loosely over his tall body. He could have been built like a tank under those robes or thin as a rake. Fluidly, the merchant gestured for him to come into the main chambers.

And I tried...

Kenobi wanted to convince himself that events had moved him to this course of action, that there was no other choice. He shook his head, told himself to at least act like some kind of Jedi. There was always a choice. The choices may not have been pleasant, but they were always present. His growing memories of his previous life as Jholn Ascara were certainly teaching him that.

And I tried...

The merchant pulled out a chair for him, swept his tall form to the other side. Kenobi saw that he had to be very thin to walk so wraith-like. The merchant pulled a drawer out very gingerly and laid it on the table, his dark, knowing eyes never leaving Kenobi?s face.

And I tried...

Kenobi closed his eyes, but only for a moment. The merchant was waiting. Kenobi opened his eyes and nodded to him.

And I tried...

The merchant?s smile was brittle. He pulled out the object Kenobi had been anticipating: A simple sphere, made entirely out of cedar wood save for three obsidian studs at the top. He glanced at the merchant, who only smiled with teeth yellowed by decades of neglect.

Clutch your pictures of the Pope
Pray to God for love and hope
Bring the Virgin home for luck
Bolt the door to keep it shut

The merchant raised his eyebrows and indicated the sphere with a nod of his angular face. Kenobi took it without another pause.

I've done things I never thought I'd do; Sure it helps to lose myself in you

The studs glittered. The Jedi made a great show of inspecting it, all the while, trying to calm his mind. Here it was. The captured power of a dead God ... enough to augment his own abilities to the degree that he could challenge--and kill--Kor. His for the taking. The merchant only awaited his approval.

A little time and I'll be all right.

For a moment, Kenobi heard the faint warning of his Master. ***damn. He had tried to drown that voice out of his head. He knew what he was contemplating was insane. Calling his quest quixotic was far too kind. Challenging a Creator was beyond impossible, pure and simple. And yet, Kenobi felt a drive to do this thing. He would have said he was following the will of the living Force, but he knew his actions these past few months were not that of a Jedi. Still, he felt so strongly about this, more than anything in his life. Greater than the urge for acceptance from his father, than his urge to kill Saav, the Sith Lord who had stolen the soul of his Master. Even greater than the love he felt for the one woman who had made his heart

 

What in the world are you guys doing to poor Kenobi?! I sure do hope things get better for him. Great story!

Mairoh, I enjoyed the exchange between Whitefire and his mother. It was very warm and emotional.

Keep up the good work, guys. I am really enjoying this story.

Shmi

 

Finally! My blasted computer was being antisocial... it didn't want to post a reply to this thread. How rude...

Anyway, since I haven't had a chance to say it for a while:

THIS IS SO COOL!!!

Eagerly awaiting the next instillments... especially now that my computer is behaving itself... keep up the excellent work!

--Mara Jade, crazed story fanatic

p.s. Garbage is my favorite band! Love the inclusion of the lyrics... they really add to the story.

 

Hey all, it's me again, with yet another chapter! Geez, we've just got the ball rolling now. Knock on wood. Anyway, I'll just stop talking and give you the chapter, how's that?

<Love me, love the voices in my head.>

Mairoh, the Jedi-Warrior Goddess

 

Mairoh walked slowly through the tall, golden grass of the meadow, heading back to the village after a long workout. It was a quiet afternoon on Usitrisia, and the suns beat down on the land beneath them without clouds to block their rays. Without anything but the insects moving in the heat, the smallest sound was easily heard. And so Mairoh heard Whitefire galloping up to her from behind long before he reached her.

"Did you find him?" Mairoh called back to the stallion without turning around. She heard his pace slow as he neared her, but still did not look at him.

"Oh yes," Whitefire said quietly. There was something in his tone....Suddenly fearful, Mairoh spun around, and drew in a quick breath at the sight that greeted her.

Kenobi hung as if dead in the air in front of Whitefire; the bond Mairoh had with the Jedi told her that he was still alive, but that was the only sign. As she hurried over, Whitefire slowly lowered Kenobi's limp form to the ground. Mairoh knelt beside him and touched his forehead-- then jerked her hand away, hissing softly at what she felt.

"How can he have the Power?" she wondered. Whitefire shook his head.

"I don't know," he replied. "I found him at the base of the mountains back there," he said, gesturing with his head back the way he had come, "just like this. Your guess is as good as mine as to what happened to him."

Mairoh nodded slowly at his words, staring down at Kenobi's face. His eyes were closed, but his expression was far from peaceful. She smoothed down his hair idly, thinking....And suddenly frowned. And as she thought, the frown quickly became an angry glare.

"Mairoh? What is it?" Whitefire asked her gently. The Warrior looked up at him, rage burning in her eyes.

"Take him somewhere isolated," she said too quietly, "and keep him safe." So saying, she stood and walked a few feet away.

"Mairoh!" Whitefire called after her; but by that time she had already enveloped herself in pale violet Magick, transporting herself away from Usitrisia. Transporting herself to Kor's ship.

I can't use what I can't abuse
And I can't stop when it comes to you

She took no notice of the clear walls of the Dome as she appeared there. All her attention was reserved for the man standing at the center of the room. Kor stood casually, watching her, a small, cold smile on his face.

The rage burned within her.

She walked towards Kor slowly, her movements delibarate, threatening. "What the hell did you do to him?" she asked, her voice shaking with her anger. Kor arched an eyebrow at her, unconcerned.

"I simply gave him what he wanted," he replied levelly. Mairoh narrowed her eyes. What he wanted? she asked herself. What does he mean by that? But she ignored it for now; that was not why she had come.

I nearly died...

"No, he would never have taken anything from you," Mairoh said firmly. "You tricked him!" Kor shrugged and looked back out at the stars.

"If you wish to see it that way," he said. Mairoh growled low in her throat, and moved in front of him, forcing him to look at her.

"He is dying now!" she hissed through clenched teeth. Kor met her gaze calmly, his face expressionless.

"That," he told her softly, "was the point, my dear."

I nearly died...

Mairoh clenched her fists tightly, holding them at her side by force of will. "I remember what you were, once." Her voice was soft, and mixed in with the hate was, for a brief moment, a hint of sadness. But as she continued, the sadness was burned away in the face of her rage. "You were a good person, then, Kor." Mairoh shook with the effort of containing her anger, an effort made harder as Kor stared ever-so-calmly at her. "But you are not that person any more."

She stepped up closer to him, and her Magick flared pale blue around her for an instant. "You have become what you hate the most," she whispered to him, unheeding of her words. "You might as well have killed your own wife!"

I nearly died...

Kor closed his eyes, and his stance did not change; yet somehow, he gave off a different sense now. A sense Mairoh would have preferred not t

 

God (no pun intended), this sounds familiour!

Uh-oh, Mairoh got Kor angry, not a good thing to do I'm told.

-Elisia Goddess of the Night

 

Wow, that's pretty intense! Kor is one evil dude! Why does he hate Kenobi and Mairoh so?

Well, Mairoh and Kenobi are dead. I guess that is the end of the story......


Hurry!!!!! WRITE MORE!!!!! WRITE MORE!!!!!

We Want More!!!! We Want More!!!!!

Shmi

 

Um, something tells me that getting Kor upset was NOT a wise thing to do... God, that was intense. Wonderful job... but now I'm going half-insane waiting for more... so please please please continue when you get the chance...

--Mara Jade

 

Sweat it all out, sweat it all out, with your bedroom eyes and your baby pout; sweat it all out. In our electric storms and our shifting sands, and our candy jars and our sticky hands! Sweat it all out, sweat it all out, sweat it all out, sweat it all out, sweat it all out--Son of Kenobi came out of his coma with a blood-curdling scream.

"MAIROH!" The Jedi Knight fell forward and twined his fingers in his hair, yanking.
"MairohMairohMairohMairohMairohMAIROH!!!!!" He sat there, bowled over, sweating heavily, clutching his long, dark hair. The pain he felt was worse than anything in his life. It was deeper than any kind of corporeal pain at all. It was a huge, gaping wound in his soul. Awash in nightmarish images of his coma, Kenobi feared nothing would ever bring him out, that nothing was more powerful than Kor?s trap.

It turned out that he was wrong. There was one thing that was more powerful.

Breathing shallowly, Kenobi looked wildly around. He didn?t know where he was. It was a simple hut, with a thatched roof, a glint of bluish-gold sun rays shining through from several cracks in the wall.

Painfully, Kenobi lifted his arms, and levered himself to his feet. Standing, he felt numb, as if he were watching himself upright; every move he made was telescoped for him, as if he were following some demented script.

He didn?t know where Mairoh was, only that whatever had ripped into her mind and heart had left a gaping hollow wound in his own soul. He only knew he had to find her.

Just then, a ray of deep blue light shot from his navel and blasted the opposite wall into cinders.

"Yaaaaaah!" he cried, falling back. Fire leapt out around the decomposing wall, its flames licking towards the ceiling. His eyes goggled and intuitively, he used the Force to create a dampening field, suffocating the fire.

It worked. Hissing smoke curled and wisped away.

He sighed, coughing, opening the shuttered windows. It appeared that the poison with which Kor had imbued his body was still with him. ****, he thought. At the moment, he could only think in simple terms.
There was a creaking, and then the door crashed open. Two beams of ruby-red shot from his eyes before he could stop them.

They were deflected--and absorbed--into a wide, shimmering shield of darkness, which disappeared just as quickly.

A massive, muscular creature the color of ivory, save for the thick, black mane came into view. A white horn rimmed in black rose out from his forehead ... with dried blood at the tip. Kenobi felt relief ease his body.

"Wh-whitefire," he said. The blood on his friend?s horn disturbed him; he would have to ask him about it later.

The stallion whickered, his dark eyes mirroring Kenobi?s relief, but in those huge orbs, there was also deep sadness. Kenobi had only to look at the covered body on Whitefire?s back to know why. Mairoh.

"What--"

"Kor," Whitefire said quietly.

Fire crackled in Kenobi?s eyes, and Whitefire nodded. The camaraderie the two of them had always felt came to an apex in their mutal hatred for Kor. Of course, it was impotent rage now.

Wearily, Kenobi came to the seemingly lifeless heap on Whitefire?s strong back. The wound inside him grew ... but he forced himself to look at the matted blood in her hair, to intimate the horrible destruction of her body and soul.

The Jedi Knight?s hand hovered, but he did not touch her. He shut his eyes and clenched his fist. This was the cost of his rage ...

"We must hurry," Whitefire told him gently. "I didn?t expect you to be awake, but it makes sense ... considering the bond you both have."

Kenobi nodded. "Can you heal her?"

Whitefire shook his large head solemnly. "If I used my Magick on Mairoh, it would kill her. Our only recourse is the Healer?s world."

"They can save her?" The gaping wound inside of him seemed to grow larger by the second.

"They will try," Whitefire answered.

"I?ll come," Kenobi said softly.

"That goes without saying," Whitefire said, almost lightly. Almost. "You obviously need help with your own physical we

 

Hmm, my reply didn't bring this to page one; let's see if this does it...

 

Bravo! Well done Son of Kenobi! I knew she wasn't gonna stay dead for long. It's not like she ever does.

-Elisia Goddess of the Night

 

The world was average-sized, covered in swirling clouds of silvery-white through which nothing could be seen. The atmosphere looked rather hazardous, but landing was relatively easy; Son of Kenobi had no trouble guiding the ship through the occassional gusts of wind. Whitefire watched from the doorway of the cockpit; he would be down in the sickbay with Mairoh, but for that he had to tell Kenobi where to land the ship.

They broke through the clouds suddenly, and the land spread out before them. Tall blue-ish grass waved lazily in the wind, and trees dotted the plain, tall even from the altitude at which they flew. Mountains, their tips blanketed in silver snow, rose high in the distance. Whitefire looked at them a moment, then walked further into the cockpit. "There," he said, gesturing to a clear, relatively flat area of land. "Bring us down there."

Kenobi nodded and guided the ship to the place Whitefire had indicated; with great care, he set the ship down. He shut off the engines and stood to leave; Whitefire was already gone. Kenobi exited the cockpit and closed the door behind him, then raced after the huge white stallion.

Whitefire was standing beside the ramp, Mairoh on his back. Kenobi glanced once at his love, then palmed the control and waited impatiently as the ramp lowered to the ground. Whitefire walked slowly down, looking around him as he exited the ship. He began slowly picking his way through the blue grass, Kenobi walking quickly beside him.

After some time, a building came into view on the edge of the plain. Whitefire picked up his pace, as did Kenobi; the Jedi squinted his eyes to see the thing. Made of purple-and-black stone, it rose gracefully into the air like a cathedral. "Is that where we're going?" Kenobi asked the horse beside him. Whitefire nodded.

"Yes, it is," he answered.

The stone cathedral grew steadily larger as the pair neared it. Whitefire stopped suddenly near a grove of trees; he swished his tail and looked at Kenobi. "Stay here," he commanded. Kenobi gave him a puzzled look.

"But--" he began.

"Stay here," Whitefire repeated. "Do not come closer until I call for you." He stared expectantly into Kenobi's eyes; finally, the Jedi nodded reluctantly.

"All right," he agreed. "I'll stay."

Whitefire nodded once and started off again for the strange building. There was no one outside; one could almost think that the place was deserted. But Whitefire knew that it wasn't. He came to a halt at the wooden double-doors, and tapped a hoof to the gong that hung near. It sounded loudly, and Whitefire reflexively pinned his ears until the peals faded to silence. He stood there as patiently as he could, waiting for the call to be answered.

Finally, the door opened slowly. A tall man in heavy, brownish-gray robes came out, and Whitefire bowed his head. "Father," he greeted the man formally. "I come seeking your aid. A friend of mine has been gravely injured. I have come to request Healing and sanctuary."

The man studied Whitefire, then moved to his side. He gently touched Mairoh's forehead, frowning deeply, then walked back around to face Whitefire. "Good friend," he replied. "We shall heal the Goddess, as you request." He smiled slightly. "As always, friend Zhaenzar, you are most welcome in our Temple. Whatever we have is yours."

Whitefire bowed his head again, then looked frankly at the man. "Thank you, Father Normas," he said softly. "I have one additional request." The man titled his head slightly to one side in question. "There is another with me," Whitefire explained. "A Jedi."

The man raised an eyebrow, but showed no other reaction. Whitefire continued, "He is a friend of Mairoh's."

Normas studied Whitefire, then the unconsious Mairoh; finally, he nodded slowly. "Very well," he said. "The Jedi shall be granted sanctuary as well."

"Again, I thank you, Father." Whitefire turned his head slightly. "Kenobi, you may come now."

The Jedi sprinted over to Whitefire, stopping beside Mairoh; he looked at the tall man, then bowed slightly. Normas returned the bow, then opened the do

 

Very moving, guys! I hope that Kenobi doesn't bring danger to the temple because of the evil thing he has inside of him.

Shmi

 

Kenobi walked softly through the Healers? Temple. The hall was simple, but elegant. Like the Healers themselves. They were Jedi-like in many ways, especially how keenly they focused their abilities. He still didn?t know why Whitefire had to ask permission for him to come onto the premises. He would have to ask Normas about it later.

He didn?t focus on that now. The Healer had given him wonderful news. Mairoh had come out of the Healing. Weakened, but she had survived.

The Healers had worked for several hours?perhaps it had been days--healing Mairoh. The damage had been extensive. That was, of course, to be expected with an enemy like Kor. Kenobi left that train of thought. He had noticed that his "powers" flared up when he thought too much about the Dark God. But there was a property in the Temple which kept his powers from manifesting.

He straightened his robes, crossing a sunlit expanse of the Temple. Whitefire had deferred for Kenobi to see her first. He had been grateful, but his sense of guilt only compounded. He wondered if she wouldn?t rather want to see Whitefire first.

The door to her room was closed. His hand hovered over the door control. Then he took a deep breath and palmed it. The door slid slowly from the ground with a faint hiss. Kenobi ducked his head and entered, looking at the floor.

"Hi."

Kenobi started, looking up at the massive bed. Her dark hair spilling over the pillows, an ink-black quilt covering her from toe-to-chin, Mairoh looked up at him. Dark ovals circled her eyes, but she was alert. The quilt was thick, but he could still make out the outline of her body.

Kenobi felt overwhelming relief course through him, a smile spreading across his face. Her answering smile was wan.

"I?we?thought you weren?t going to make," he said lamely.

She snorted softly. "Neither did I."

He chuckled, glad her sarcasm was firmly intact. They stood looking at each other for a long moment, not knowing what to say.

"I should let you?" he began.

"How is the ... power inside of you?" she interrupted.

Kenobi compressed his lips. "I?m coping with it," he said quietly. "The Healers said it can be contained with training. Within these walls it won?t get out of control. Also, as long as I don?t think ... of certain things ... it won?t manifest. Well, that?s the theory, at least."

"I see." She looked away.

A million thoughts churned in his mind, demanding release. So much had happened: his following her twice, and her anger at him, his anger that she went to see Kor, and the stupid thing he had done ... and her mutilation at Kor?s hands ... so much. And yet the weight of all those things?and his own feelings?was too much to relate.

But she was in no shape for a discussion.

"Did you have anything more you wanted to say?"

He detected the faint note of pain in her impassive voice. Their mental link had shown her his inner turmoil. She knew exactly what he was thinking. And he felt her fatigue, and desire to not deal with it. He felt that and perversely wanted to say it precisely because he knew she didn?t want to deal with it.

And at the same time, he knew it was cruel to demand a resolution in her current state of mind. Kenobi stood there, pinioned by the weight of his own thoughts and feelings, not knowing what to do.

The moment dragged longer, moving from awkward silence to undeniable tension.

Mairoh sighed. "I actually do need rest, Kenobi," she said.

Kenobi felt the conflict come to an apex within him. "There?s just--" he began. He tried again. "I feel--"

He ground his teeth, trapped in the vortex of his feelings.

Another silent moment passed.

Finally, he said, "we need resolution, Mairoh."

Mairoh rolled over, turning her back to him.

Kenobi felt his heart break. Her action reminded him of what Kor had done in their first antagonistic meeting. But what Kor had done out of arrogant dismissal of Kenobi, Mairoh did out of pain.

Or was it indifference? He didn?t really know Mairoh anymore.

The Jedi Knight looked at the splaying

 

Great addition! Can't wait for more... you guys are doing a great job! Keep it up!

Anyway, I hope that Mairoh and Kenobi can resolve this...

--Mara Jade

 

I'm sensing some negative energy in this little group. Why don't we all just take a deep breath, hold hands, and roast marshmallows (would you believe that that word is actually in the dictionary?)? No? Okay.
KILL UM' ALL!!!!!!!

thank you, that's out of my system now.

oh-yeah, great story going guys.

-Elisia Goddess of the Night

 

<sigh>

Ah it's good to be back at the ol' JC.N. I wonder if anyone remembers me, in either life...

You guys're doin' great! Seriously, May, I thought that *we* had some good chemistry back in the ol' Galahad days, but the way the two of you write off each other...<shaking head admiringly> wow. <pause to wipe away a tear> I'm just..so..proud to have known you.