Beyond Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 12/30 (Chapter 34)

Bu-but, I love the angst! It makes my heart sigh with what might have been or what might be. Girl...keep it coming. Of course you KNOW how I want it to end, right?

Excellent conversation between Gaeriel and Luke -- interesting about balance between individuals and that there's only one just-right other to balance one.

Mara's admittance rings true but Leia and probably most readers are thinking: Now that you two have burned your bridges, it hardly matters what was true then, although it is good to hear she wasn't pretending.

But even if she told Luke that, he would either find it irrelevant ... if he believed it in the first place.

LVB - Yes, I thought the time jumps were the best way to deal with the issue because what Luke and Mara really neeed was time. Thank you!

RedGold - They both think they're over one another, whether that's true...

Jade_Pilot - Thank you! I love me some angst.

Irish_Jedi_Jade - Yeah, I had a feeling that the times jumps may be confusing, but thought it best to jump in, so to speak Luke does need to wake up, doesn't he? But he doesn't have the benefit of knowing what we know...

ginchy - lol, how many times have I driven you to a Padme moment - you know I love my angst! I think Luke needed to hear that and from Gaeriel especially, since she is in a unique position to give advice I also just had an image of Leia being a bit fed-up with Mara's self-centredness...

academygrad88 - Re: bootknocking, you know that, and I know that, but these two don't know that This fic has been going on a long time, and I am so happy to be finishing it!

Jade_eyes - Yes, I thought that the Bakuran religion would have a concept of a soul mate - particularly since it is primarily concerned wih the balance of things. I also think it is important for Leia to know that Mara is genuine, even though yes, the bridges have been burned, though they can be rebuilt


A/N: This fic is nearing the end (finally!) there will be probably only one or two more chapters after this. Also, the bonus chapter from earlier in the fic has been posted at SWFF - scroll down to the 'Bonus Scenes' forum if you would like to read it.

A/N: This chapter is set during the Corellian trilogy, and so the jumping around may not make much sense if you haven't read those books or can't remember them well - but they only provide the setting, they don't have much bearing on the plot other than what's contained in the chapter. Just thought I'd provide a warning upfront





Chapter 32


Selonia


Luke drummed his fingers on his knee in boredom or frustration ? he wasn?t sure which. Somehow, he, Han, Leia and Mara had all wound up on Selonia together, while he was relieved to see them all, their Selonian hosts didn?t seem to understand the urgency of the situation. He needed to be out there, doing his duty to the New Republic, not stuck in some Selonian compound where he was of no negotiating use. Particularly when he was stuck in said compound with Mara Jade.

She was seated by the eastern window, arms crossed and looking out over the gardens ?as far as possible, Luke had noted, from where he was seated on the steps which lead out to the courtyard. It had been an awkward moment when he?d landed his X-wing and greeted her, and they hadn?t spoken since.

In truth, he gave very little thought to Mara Jade these days ? he knew that she was doing well with her trading company, and they met occasionally at official functions where they usually said, at most, a civil hello. He supposed their lives had diverged so much that there was little point to them conversing ? and there was too much history for them to be otherwise.

Although, his thoughts had strayed to her recently, when he and Lando had set out on the wife-hunt.

?I?m glad you decided to come, Luke.? Lando smiled at him across the cockpit of the Lady Luck

?I?m somewhat surprised you asked me on this trip, actually,? Luke told him truthfully, gazing out at the blue swirl of hyperspace through the viewscreen. ?I know we?re not as close as we once were.? Ever since the situation with Mara, Luke had distanced himself from Lando somewhat ? not intentionally ? but there had been a discomfort there Luke had been unable to shake.

?I understand,? Lando told him.

?No, it was my fault,? Luke turned back to him. ?I?m sorry,? he continued, ?and I am glad you asked me.?

?Well, we?ve all moved on,? Lando observed.

?Hmm.? Luke was noncommittal.

?Do you see much of Mara?? Lando looked at him with gentle, understanding eyes, and Luke did not feel the need to feign surprise, or ask what she had to do with anything.

?Not really,? he replied.

Lando nodded. ?I see her occasionally ? we use her services for Dometown. She?s still the best trader in the business.?

?I?m glad to hear it.? And he was ? it was good to know that she had pieced her life back together.

?You know, Luke,? Lando began, and although his tone was light-hearted, Luke could sense the seriousness beneath it. ?You are the kindest person I have ever known ? who else would have agreed to come on this mission with me?? he grinned, and Luke couldn?t help but return it. ?And I know that being ? kind ? hasn?t always worked out for you,? Lando continued, serious again. ?But you make people want to be better, the best version of themselves that they can be ? that?s what you did for me and Han, what you?ve done for countless others ? and you never gave up on any of us.?

Luke looked away, embarrassed at the praise, and yet disturbed by the insinuation. ?I never gave up on her,? he said quietly. ?I gave all that I could.?

?I know that,? Lando told him. ?And so does she, I think.?

?Then what?s your point??

Lando seemed unperturbed. ?Just that she may be able to give you something back?

And so he sat watching Mara Jade as she studiously ignored him, wondering if Lando was right. If he was honest, he just didn?t think he could take that chance.

A soft kick to his calf broke Luke out of his reverie, and he looked up to Leia standing above him. ?You look deep in thought,? she observed.

?An insightful />

Hey, lady, hey!!! Always so happy to see an update from you!!

I love how reflective this chapter is and how Luke and Mara are finally getting back on equal footing. I love the smile he gives her at the end and how they're both finally beginning to see one another for the person they are.

Luke's conversation with Leia made me so sad, though. I wish things could be easier for him, too. He deserves so much and gets so little in return sometimes.

Anyway, I'm glad that he and Mara will be in one another's lives again, even if it is just as friends. It's a start, right??

Awesome update. I am so glad you are completing this fic. I think Mara and Luke as friends is a great start. They are going to have to overcome a lot of hurt feelings to be more than friends, but they are on the road to recovery.


I look forward to seeing how this turns out!

These two just can't do anything in the proper order, can they? Great stuff!

The Leia/Luke conversation: insightful and touching!!

Sad that Luke reads her sympathy as pity

I too wish he'd gotten a wee bit more of easy uncomplicated and tender [face_wistful]

Even though Leia met the love of her life early, it did take a deuced long time to figure that out

Loved Mara's spontaneous gesture right before the battle started

And their talk after -- !!!

Love this chapter!!!!

Dang, girl, you can sure write some angst! Good think I love me some angst, too! I love the flow, the tone and the voice to this. I think when it's finished, I will go back and read it all over again.

Bravo, bravo, bravo!

I absolutely LOVE this story and I let out a little cheer when I saw that you had updated. I'm dying to know how it all ends. The passingof time has certainly cleared Mara's head a little but I'd love to shake them both and tell them to get their acts together!!

Every time I read your updates I end up in tears. But nothing can stop me reading it because your writing is amazing.

Farmboy, talk to me... I do understand.

Again I don't post on these very much but I wanted to tell you thank you. I dated an alcoholic on and off for many years and reading your amazing story has brought some peace to my mind. I couldn't save her in fact the hardest thing in my life was realizing that you cant save those who do not wish to save themselves. And you have written it so beautifully and so truthfully while reading the fic I was finding myself looking back into my past and remembering her.


Anyways thank you and please continue this story to its conclusion it is some of the best writing that I have ever read on this forum. I thank you

Hello there, JadeLotus.

Though not entirely new to this website, I have mostly been lurking...it is vast and intimidating when you first arrive, isn't it?

But I thought that I must join everybody else in praising this fine work of yours. I stumbled across it last night, and am awfully glad I did. I find your ability to adjust the outward actions of characters without twisting their inner selves (too far, I hope!) amazing, and most compelling.

You are so very gifted, and I thank you for sharing!

sandwichesyumyum


P.S. I hear there may be a bonus chapter for those of age. I'm almost double that, so if you still have it knocking around, and choose to forward it, you would make an old lady's day! Lol!

I haven't been here for ages and I come back and what do I find! One of my fav ever fanfic's being completed! What a good day. I'm loving the new chapters, praying for a happy ending and hoping that you would be kind enough to add me to your PM list. x

I failed to mention that I would like the pm chapters and added to the pm list as well

OOh, PM list me please! So sad. At least they managed to get back to friendship stage. The part with Talon made me cry. I just read this all in one sitting and now I really have to get to bed so I can get up and work my shift later. Stupid real life and work.

UPDATE.....

Here, here!

I think I have been reading this fic for SIX years! Come on JadeLotus, lets get to some boot knocking.

Let the record show that I adore! Jedi_Lover's one track mind !!

I have that same ... consistent obsession in another fandom - big time!

It's a fangirl thing.

ginchy ? Thanks, gal! It is important that they do get back on an equal footing, and back in each other?s lives

Jedi_Lover ? Thanks! It is indeed a good start.

RedGold ? Nope! lol

Jade_eyes ? Luke has had a hard road of it, hasn?t he? Leia tries her best, but I think it would be hard for her to understand, given that she?s never been in that position!

Jade_Pilot ? Thanks, gal! We do share a love of angst!

LVB ? Thanks! I think the passage of time is important for both of them to get some perspective.

Piper057 ? Thank you so much

LordRaptor82 ? Thank you ? I really appreciate the comment and thank you for sharing your story I have tried to make the depiction of addition as realistic as possible but hopefully with a little bit of hope in Mara?s case.

sandwichesumyum ? I appreciate you de-lurking ? thank you! I have tried to stick somewhat to the events of canon, but of course altered due to the differences. I hope I haven?t gone too OOC to do this, particularly in Mara?s case

Treepio ? Thank you!

CurtisZidaneZiraa ? Wow, thanks so much ? glad you?ve enjoyed it!

A/N: I promised ginchy that I would finish this fic in 2011, and I still intend to . I plan to post the final chapter tomorrow and the epilogue on the 31st, just to cut things close!


Also, some of the lines are borrowed from Zahn.





Chapter 33

One year later

Kauron asteroid field


Mara didn?t know how she got herself into these messes. If she was smart, she?d be back in Coruscant meeting with clients and working out new trade routes. But when she?d heard Luke was undercover in a nest of Cavrilhu pirates, she hadn?t been able to stop herself from checking up on him. And here he was, locked in a Jedi hibernation trace, hurtling across cold space towards the Talon without so much as a vac suit for protection.

Taking a deep breath, Mara braced herself against the airlock bulkhead and stretched out to the Force, trying to guide Luke?s path. She threw everything she had into the effort, dimly aware that her whole body had gone rigid with the strain, fighting to at least slow him down as he barrelled past her through the atmosphere barrier.

?Impact ten seconds,? Tanner?s voice came over the speaker. ?But he?s coming in too fast. He?ll either bounce off the hull or hit the airlock so hard he?ll break his neck.?

She reached out again with the Force and could sense him slowing, but knew it wouldn?t be enough. Panicking, and almost without thought, she stepped away from the bulkhead and directly into his path. He slammed into her at full tilt, and she barely managed to gasp out a ?welcome aboard? to release him from the trace before they hit the floor with a crash.

?Omph? she exhaled sharply as Luke?s body pressed against her.

?Thank you,? he murmured in her ear and lifted himself up on his arms slightly, to take the bulk of his weight off her. ?Nice catch.?

?You?re welcome? she replied, suddenly aware of how close his face was to her, how his body straddled hers, of his familiar, earthy scent. It had been years since they had shared the same personal space like this, and Mara swiftly clamped down on the involuntary pull in her heart and the pit of her stomach, and reinforced her mental barriers.

His big blue eyes gazed down at her and Mara shifted, looking way. ?So, are you going to get off me, or were you just getting comfortable?? It was something that she might have said in another life, the appropriate level of sarcasm and teasing, but she realised as soon as the words had left her mouth that too much had passed between them, and the comment hit too close to home. She inwardly cursed herself ? otherwise, their attempts at friendship over the past year had been going so well.

?Right.? He blinked, twice and laughed awkwardly, rolling off of her and getting to his feet. He reached out his hands and she took them, using the leverage to stand. ?Sorry.?

She dropped his hands and returned a smile. ?Don?t worry about it.?


********

Talon, hyperspace

Tanner walked noiselessly into the cockpit of the Talon and took a seat in the co-pilot?s chair. Mara was staring, unblinking, out of the viewscreen and did not react to his entry.

?I see you?ve altered our course back to Coruscant,? he said impassively.

Mara nodded without looking at him, still seemingly deep in thought. ?I need you back there to handle the business for me.?

?And where will you be??

?I?ve got things to do.?

He appraised her for a few moments, and remembered her recent call from Corran Horn, just after they had dropped Skywalker off. ?This is about the Caamas situation.? It was not a question. ?You?re following that ship to Nirauan.? Mara did not answer, and continued to stare directly ahead out the viewscreen. ?Since when do you go on missions for the NRI?? he questioned.

?It?s not a mission,? she said scornfully. ?It?s more like a favour.?

?For Skywalker?? There was no accusation in his tone ? he was simply curious.

She looked at him then, and almost seemed wounded underneath her/>

Oh, my poor Farmboy! Mara broke his heart once to often. I feel so sad for the two, but at least they are friends now. A dear departed friend of mine once told me, "Things will never be the same, but they can be better." Sometime going back to what you were isn't possible. I look forward to see where these two end up.

AND THANK YOU FOR FINISHING THIS STORY THIS YEAR! I can't believe how long it has been!

*sniff* This is... heartbreaking. Yet so uplifting. Beautiful. Can't wait to see the ending.

hahahaha, it looks like Luke has moved on with ginchy. WHAT??? I mean, when are these two crazy kids going to get their acts together???? At least Tanner has warmed up to the idea of L/M a bit. LOL

Lady, I'm sooooooooooooo excited this one is going to be done in 2 days, OMG!!!!!!!! I feel like , yeah!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! Cannot wait for more!!!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Ahem... that's for the ginchy novel! LOL! OK, J_e's marking the days now!



Wow! This was a bittersweet post !!!! I applaud Luke's honesty and agree with Jedi_Lover above. Too many burned bridges - ick! But at least they can be trusting friends - although sometimes even that is beyond the possible with all the heavy baggage.

Thanks JadeLotus for finishing. That means very much to me! Hugs!