Intercepted Transmissions (Fiction)

Discussion in 'Santa Cruz, CA' started by DarkLordSid, Jun 17, 2005.

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  1. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    **DECLASSIFIED INTERCEPTED IMPERIAL COM TRANSMISSION**
    **EDITED BY REBEL COMMAND AND ?EMBELLISHED? BY INTEL DEPT**
    **TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTED NEAR *********** ON NABOO**


    The two white armored Stormtroopers stood at attention outside the large building somewhere on Naboo, standing guard. It had been hours and they were getting bored, the sun had gone down long, long ago and all was quiet outside. The older one, TK6759, a rather unsuccessful veteran, stole a look around to the left, then the right. He then crept, as much as anyone in hard plastic composite armor can creep, up to the door and peeked inside. Sighing he came back to his post at the bottom of the stairs. The other, a younger corporal, TK2244, turned his head and spoke.

    TK2244: *CLICK* ?You?ve got to be kidding, they are still going on?? The com crackled a bit, but TK2244?s annoyance came through loud and clear.
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Hrupmh.?, TK6759 replied, the amusement at his friend?s discomfort just as evident.
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Hey, I can hear your helmet rattling against your armor, I know you are laughing at me, this duty is your fault you know! You keep laughing and I?ll put you in for it next time too!?
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Can?t. Orders. You are on the schedule?
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Schedules can change?
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Hrupmh?
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Don?t pull that grunting ?hrumph? crap with me, I mean it, I?ll call in sick next time and it will be alllll youuuuu!?
    TK6759: *CLICK* (Drawing it out) ?Hrrr-uupp-mmhh? his bored but snide voice cut through the static.
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Don?t you ever say anything other than ?hrumph???
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Hrupmh?
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Is that a yes or a no??

    The silence between them dragged on for minutes.

    TK2244: *CLICK* ?So, you?d ever find your helmet??
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Hrupmh. No, and I wish you?d quit asking me that, jerk.
    TK2244: *CLICK* *Sometimes I think you?d loose your head if it weren?t attached?jerk.?

    Ten more minutes pass.

    TK6759 looked around then said,
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?So, want to get drunk? They?ll never know, you just lock the armor servos in place, it looks like you are at attention all the time, works great.?
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?What you got booze stored in the rear cylinder or something??
    TK6759: *CLICK* ? Hrupmh? He said mysteriously.
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Always wondered what that was for. I keep spare socks in mine.?

    An hour passes?

    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Socks??
    TK6759?s helmet rattles against his armor.
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?You are so thick?and slow.?
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Not what the women say about you?
    TK2244 Turns and makes a rude gesture.

    More time passes?

    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Well?? He raised an imaginary drink to his face.
    TK2244 sighed heavily and hung his head over in exhaustion. He spoke in a sing song tone, as if explaining it to a child.
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?No, we-have-to-wait-until-all-the-delegates-are-gone-which-will-be-a-while-yet! You KNOW how they love to hear themselves talk?
    TK2244 shook his head sadly,
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Yeah, I had inside duty last time. Between ?Commander? Allastair?s blithering on and on and Rontor?s snide remarks, I thought it would go on all night. And then Geen had to get his two smart credits in as well?thought I?d blast my brains out right there, if it hadn?t been for the lookers in the audience and that half naked Twi???
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?Hey, I was outside, and I was just happy as hell when the shooting started, at least it was something I could get into. First time I was ever happy to see a Rebel, too bad he was just out shopping, talk about your wrong place at the wrong time. If I hadn?t been so bored I?d never have bothered, would have just told him to move along??
    TK6759: *CLICK* ?Wish I had been out there with you, I can?t believe that with six troopers outside that he got away and you still managed to get shot in the process. How?s the, um, stride by the way?? His helmet started clicking against the armor.
    TK2244: *CLICK* ?I keep telling you they hit me in the
  2. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    DLS, you should head over to the Fan Fiction boards here on the JC. :)
  3. Master--Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2003
    star 4
    Didn't know there was a Fan Fiction site on these things.. DSL That is great.. I swear I've had one of those days too! :)
  4. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    (whispers) I kind of picture Max as TK2244....

    I'll check out the fan fiction area, not sure my stuff was good enough for wide distribution, I just wanted to post it here to amuse friends.

  5. Master--Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2003
    star 4
    ROFLMFJAO!!! Ok, now I will never be able to look at Max the same way! Yeah, now that you mention it.. it is definitely Max! :)
  6. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8


    Pfffft compared to some of the (sorry) **** that those damn 11 year old fangirls post, your writing would be more than welcome!! ;)
  7. Ultimate_Mamas_Boy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 20, 2003
    star 1
    That wasn't very nice. lets swear at the 11 year olds. Why don't you try to encourage them instead of belittling them.
  8. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    Sadly nowadays there seems to be a rash of "1337" speak, or whatever you call it in younger people. Poor grammar, lack of punctuation or capitalization, and the spelling is horrendous, some don't even try or replace letters and words with numbers.

    It's odd how the new technology changes things for the worse, seems to promote illiteracy rather than cure it. But I suppose you could say the same for the calculator in that people did not have to use their heads for math too.

    In any case, as in many things, I just try to set a good example and hope that people try in their own way to improve rather than trash the works of others.

    In Toastmasters we learned that constructive criticism is a delicate thing. We often use the "sandwich" technique, putting a potentially negative comment between two supportive or positive comments.

    My writing is also very personal, it comes from my heart as well as my mind, and sometimes reflects my moods or train of thought. Sometimes not.

    Thanks for your suggestion, but for now I'll probably post here every now and then to entertain my friends and the occasional pleasant folks that drop by.

    DLS
  9. SithKity Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2005
    Hey, liked your story. I didn't know what the dude was talking about with the 11 year olds cause I didn't see any in your story. But hey, I then read some of the other stuff again and saw the one that talked about the 11 year olds.

    Hey, that wasn't nice because they are like 11 and maybe don't know as much as some older guy and besides they would not be in even high school yet. I also thought we weren't supposed to swear and stuff when we post.

    Hey, whatever cause it was still a good story but you know be nice to the kids.[face_shame_on_you]
  10. Master--Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2003
    star 4
    Ok everyone, don't make me close this thread down. Watch the language and "hold down the pillow."

    Sid, nice writing..keep it up. And if you get into that "Other" type of fan-fic that was referred to here.. I will personally saber you! LOL

    That's enough, everyone..move along move along.
  11. mileniumhanandshrimp Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2005
    star 3
    i thought it was great! "spare socks..." that's going to keep me giggling for days, and probably every time i watch the movies with troopers in.

    very cool, sid. more, please!

  12. derekm001 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 18, 2005
    star 1
    To funny... more more more....
  13. Siri-Tachi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2005
    star 1
    Really enjoyed your writing, Sid. I only have one thing to say...more more more. (And the "George" in the back of my mind is saying, "faster..more intense!") So..when do we start filming?
  14. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    Well, thank you, and since you liked that one, I posted another. Seems that Stormtrooper dialogue always seems to fit a script type format, don't know why, but it seems funnier that way to me.

    And as for filming... (Wait for it...)




    No.


    ((snickers))
  15. Master--Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2003
    star 4

    ARRRGGGHHHHHHH! He said the "n" word again! ARGGGHHHHHHHH

    [face_laugh]
  16. DarkLordSid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 4
    ((evil laughter in the darkness))
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