Interview with Warmaster Tsavong Lah

Discussion in 'Literature' started by Kimball_Kinnison, Nov 1, 2001.

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  1. Kimball_Kinnison Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2001
    star 6
    This is a question that I've had for quite a while. If you were a reporter from Coruscant News Service (or whatever news network there is in the New Republic) and were granted an interview with Warmaster Tsavong Lah, what sort of questions would you ask him? Also, how do you think he would respond to them?

    For example, One question I'd love to ask is, About how old are the Yuuzhan Vong as a race? I honestly have no idea how he would respond, except that I'd bet that they are much older than humanity, because of their ability to cross galactic distances.

    What do you think?
  2. corran_rouge9 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2001
    star 2
    I bet you are right there. I'd like to know his age and personal history. He doesn't seem old, no older than Vua Rapuung, but how's he a war master. How'd he go from warrior to that, or did he..?
  3. Kimball_Kinnison Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2001
    star 6
    Well, he would've had to prove himself in battle before they'd give him that much responsibility. But then, who did he fight to prove himself? They were travelling between galaxies for who knows how long? I don't think they fought among themselves that much in that time. If they had, they probably never would have arrived in the GFFA.
  4. MaceWinducannotdie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2001
    star 4
    Warmaster, can I call you stumpy?
  5. Kimball_Kinnison Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2001
    star 6
    MaceWinducannotdie: Warmaster, can I call you stumpy?

    Tsavong Lah: Only if you wish to die!

    :)
  6. ForceAlly Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 2001
    star 2
    Would you mind if I bring this holo cam along? Maybe my protocol droid, too?
  7. Kimball_Kinnison Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2001
    star 6
    ForceAlly: Would you mind if I bring this holo cam along? Maybe my protocol droid, too?

    TL: We would gladly offer you a special recording villip so you have no need of your abominations.
  8. Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 1999
    star 6
    Boxers or briefs? ;)

    Hehe, just kidding.
  9. SCI_FI_NUT Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2001
    star 1
    So is your arm supposed to look all dead and yucky and smell like back end of a tun tun??

    TL: DON"T TALK ABOUT THAT!!!

    alright what magazines do you enjoy??

    TL: well i am partial to cosmipolitian and modern bride maga.... THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!!(kills reporter, too late the damage has been done)
  10. MaceWinducannotdie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2001
    star 4
    What is your reaction to the recent worldship attack?
  11. Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 1999
    star 6
    Did you know that Viqi Shesh finds you attractive, do you like her?
  12. Draco_Starcloud Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2001
    star 2
    What sound does a giraffe make?
  13. Bib Fortuna Twi'lek Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 1999
    star 10
    How do you go to the bathroom while wearing that vonduun crab armor?
  14. corran_rouge9 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2001
    star 2
    I'd like to know how they control the Amphistaffs. They can manipulate them to strike like a snake, whip, or become a blade, but is it through a mental connection, or is there some grip for each strike?
  15. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 8
    1. Boxers or briefs?

    "I go commando or special twitching crabs on formal occasions."

    2. What is your reaction to the recent worldship attack?

    "Jacen Solo will die."

    *gets word from Vergere*

    "You are so wise. I will put off Jacen Solo's death in order to capture his sister and him simultaneously....then they will die!"

    *more words from Vergere*

    "Hold on on that."

    3. Did you know that Viqi Shesh finds you attractive, do you like her?

    "Yes I would like her, slowly roasted and basted with a fine decanter of vallom blood."

    4. What sound does a giraffe make?

    "The shapers inform me a chewing spitting one for most of the time. They will make a more hissing one when we breed them with racors and krayt dragons."

    5. How do you go to the bathroom while wearing that vonduun crab armor?

    "Special nests above the Commode."

    6. I'd like to know how they control the Amphistaffs. They can manipulate them to strike like a snake, whip, or become a blade, but is it through a mental connection, or is there some grip for each strike?

    "A Yzzumng Vong warrior is presented with his amphi-staff as a coming of age right and told to bond with his weapon as he grows up or it will bite him and kill him. Gradually through a series of pains/rewards they learn to adapt to one another and respond to each other's wishes through finger motions, posture, and unconcious sense."

  16. Rogue_Starbuck Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2000
    star 4
    So, Tsav. Can I call you Tsav? How about Mr. Lah. Or T.La or Mr. T? Anyway, I've been dying to ask this: Britney or Christina? :p
  17. Kimball_Kinnison Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2001
    star 6
    2. What is your reaction to the recent worldship attack?

    "Jacen Solo will die."

    *gets word from Vergere*

    "You are so wise. I will put off Jacen Solo's death in order to capture his sister and him simultaneously....then they will die!"

    *more words from Vergere*

    "Hold on on that."


    So, Warmaster, what exactly is your relationship with Vergere? Rumors have it that you two complement each other quite nicely.
  18. ReaperFett Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 9, 1999
    star 6
    "Two X-Wings leave Corellia at the same time. One is in Hyperspace for 20 minutes, one 30. How far apart are they?"

    "What is the average air-speed velocity of a swallow?"
    :)
  19. MaceWinducannotdie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2001
    star 4
    Are you aware Supreme Overlord Shimmra is conspiring with a heretic shaper?
  20. Kier_Nimmion Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2000
    star 5

    "Two X-Wings leave Corellia at the same time. One is in Hyperspace for 20 minutes, one 30. How far apart are they?"

    Lah: That's a farging trick question, you son-of-a-batch!


    Ugh, when Johnny Dangerously quotes start to flow, it's time to take a breather.
  21. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 8
    1. So, Warmaster, what exactly is your relationship with Vergere? Rumors have it that you two complement each other quite nicely.

    "I did not have sexual relations with that pigeon....despite her luxurious...sensual feahers....aahhhhhh."

    2. Are you aware Supreme Overlord Shimmra is conspiring with a heretic shaper?

    *crushes the questioner's throat*

    "Anyone else wish to tell lies about my beloved Overlord?"

    3. What is the average air-speed velocity of a swallow?

    "Serendipidal or Ithorian? In either case ZERO! BAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
  22. Balance_Point Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    "Serendipidal or Ithorian?"

    [face_laugh]

    So Warmaster Lah, Yanks or Diamondbacks?
  23. _Tenel_Ka_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 11, 2001
    star 4
    If you could only kill one backstreet boy, which one would it be? :D
  24. ForceAlly Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 2001
    star 2
    Vader or Maul? Jag or Kyp? Vong or Borg?
  25. Draco_Starcloud Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2001
    star 2
    Thank you Mr. Lah. Now then, I have anohter question

    Can I borrow some cash? I gotta pay this citation for parking my TIE Fighter in a "No Parking" Zone.
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