Title: Into the Black Hole Author(s): zeekveerko Timeframe: ANH Characters: BoShek, Han Solo, Chewbacca Genre: Humor Keywords: OT, AU Summary: The truely true story of BoShek. Notes: Repost from the old board. ===================== Into the Black Hole Space? You want space? You got it. Out here drifting in the dark, Earth is so huge, but I can see it all. Look hard enough you could time the waves crashing on either shore of America. Ever wonder whether the rhythms of the wave-breaks are syncopated or in perfect time with each other? This pressure suit is the only thing that keeps me alive, out here swimming in nothing. The void between the celestial bodies, space. I think I'd really enjoy it a lot more if this stupid MMU wasn't malfunctioning. The controls are shot. Left goes up, up goes back, back goes back, they pretty much all just take me away from Earth and the ship I rode out in. "Houston? Uh... I've got a malfunctioning MMU, and I think I might just go ahead and die helplessly drifting through this stupid vacuum." Why did I want to be an astronaut, anyway? Stupid Neil Armstrong. First American to actually kiss the sky. I'll blame my predecessors. "Bo, we've lost you on the radar. Where are you?" Crackly little voice. Doesn't do me any good. How can some guy on that little drifting-away marble help me right now when what i really need is a ride home? "Well... the shuttle just passed out of view behind the horizon, and it looks like... yeah, conveniently, the sun will dispose of my body in a few years..." "All right, Bo, don't panic..." "I'm beyond panic, Ed. I'm already dead." Then a little bit of static comes through and then, thankfully, nothing. If I'm going to die in space I'd rather not be talking to that guy when it happens. Well, drifting in a giant snow globe, got nothing left to do but count stars. Is that one shooting? No, I am. I wonder if they can spot me with a telescope, just a tiny spot in space. Probably not. I don't even exist anymore. Won't even make the news. It's not like I want to die, I just have no choice. This space rocket backpack just gave out entirely from messing with it too much. Maybe it ran out of fuel. Maybe if I go to sleep now I won't wake up, and somehow that will make this easier. Sleep comes quickly. Nothing else to do out here. Earth dreams, my precious little daughter and her bright starry eyes. She looks up at me with placid innocence and says, "When's daddy coming home?" I wake up with tears in my eyes, my face mask fogged over. I'm tempted to open it and let the outer space suck the life from my, but then I notice that the Earth is gone, and so is the sun. "Did I sleep a thousand years?" I wonder aloud, but space offers no answers. The fact is, there's nothing around I twirl one-eighty degrees and find that instead of a big yellow sun I'm drifting into an even bigger black hole. So now I get to find out what lies beyond the outer rim of one of these things. I guess I'd enjoy it a lot more if I thought I was going to survive it. Anything that swallows light probably won't have a difficult time digesting me. So down into the hole I go, drifting through a tunnel of space dust and streaming light, a casual observer. The journey lasts hours, days, months, or seconds... hard to tell. But at the end of the ride this thing shoots me out into a huge dust cloud in the middle of an asteroid field like a vacuum cleaner set on reverse. A huge splash of light plays around me as something large and metal swoops into my path. I grab hold and glance over my shoulder at the black hole outlet, which looks much like the exact opposite of a black hole, what with all the light and other, more tangible particles bursting from it. Just behind us what looks like a triangular space ship is suddenly bombarded by a blast of asteroids, one of which smashes through the central nervous system of this thing and sends it careening lifelessly through space. The thing I'