Before Into the Fire (Obi/Qui - written for Quotations Roulette)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kestrel_Kenobi, Mar 26, 2006.

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  1. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Into the Fire
    Author: Kestrel_Kenobi
    Timeframe: A few years before TPM.
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon.
    Notes: Written for the quotations challenge a few weeks back before my muse expired. Thanks to Nienna@};-.

    My quote was from Batman. ?Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight??

    ****

    Obi-Wan was cold. No, he was freezing. Freezing and annoyed. He shivered, pulling the thick robe around him and moving closer to the fire he had built with Qui-Gon before night had fallen. He sighed, rubbing his forehead in exasperation at the turn of events that had led them to this desolate planet.

    He looked up into the night, at all the stars and at the pale moon whose yellow light provided some comfort. He stood and stretched, his cloak falling open and exposing him to the cold night air. Shivering again he wrapped his arms around himself and began to move around the small encampment. Tall trees surrounded them giving off a sharp but not unpleasant smell, and Obi-Wan?s feet crunched over the frozen ground as he made his way towards them.

    A soft snore from the tent startled him and he glanced over his shoulder. An image of his master sound asleep flashed through his mind. Well, he thought, a wry smile on his lips, at least someone?s comfortable.

    Turning back to the fire, he hunched down and held his hands out towards the flames to try and warm them. He only wished that he?d drawn second watch; he could have watched the sunrise and it would have been warmer.

    Obi-wan sat back and stared into the flames dancing before him. The colors were beautiful; golden oranges and yellows encased the blood red centre which held a flicker of blue within it. It must be the branches of the trees that caused it to glow so, he thought, as the colors seemed to change before his eyes. The red was growing, and the orange and yellow flames were merging together. And was that black? Yes, black lines appeared among the red, until...

    Obi-Wan blinked and rubbed his eyes. Was that a face in the fire? Made up of the reds and blacks? Yes. A face full of cold hatred, with yellow eyes that oozed with evil...with death. Obi-Wan gasped and looked away. His breath came fast and he had to work for a few seconds to gain control. He turned back to the fire with his eyes half closed, expecting to see those eyes, that face, but all he saw were the flames. The usual orange and yellows flickering softly and reaching towards the pale moon.

    His breathing now steady and the coldness forgotten, Obi-Wan stood and looked towards the tent. Should he wake his master? But what did he have to show, or tell? Had he really seen anything at all? Glancing from the fire to the tent and back again, he slowly sat down. He was tired, that was all. Subconsciously, he checked that his lightsaber was by his side and reached for a handful of twigs to throw onto the fire. A cloud of embers and smoke drifted into the air and Obi-Wan coughed as the smoke caught in his throat.

    Stealing glances at the fire, Obi-Wan closed his eyes in the hope that meditation might help to focus him. All he could see though was that face and those eyes...laughing at him...mocking him? The fire crackled and Obi-Wan?s eyes flew open at the sound. The colors were changing again and Obi-Wan found that he couldn?t look away...the yellows and oranges were shifting, merging into a soft beige and Obi-Wan caught a glimpse of a new face in the flames, very briefly. A boy? And then...darkness, blackness. The flames suddenly died down altogether as a faint, eerie laugh floated through the air.

    The trance broken, Obi-Wan leapt to his feet, unable to tell if the laugh was coming from the woods or the fire, but it chilled him and made his heart tremble. On and on it went, dancing among the trees, round the fire and through Obi-Wan?s soul. His head spun wildly and he covered his ears trying to drown out the noise.

    ?Stop,? he moa
  2. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awww, poor Obi-Wan.

    Cold, exhausted, on first watch and having the horrible visions in the fire.

    At least Qui-Gon wasn't upset.

    Nice response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=

  3. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    That was majorly creepy. In a good way.

    I didn't notice a tbc or a the end, more?
  4. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Oh, shivers...creepy. Too bad Obi-Wan didn't try to tell Qui-Gon about his visions - I can see Qui-Gon admonishing him to focus, then worriedly staring into the fire, disturbed.
    =D=
  5. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Wow -- creepy. Great job, Kestrel!
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Great quote! ;) And wonderfully incorporated! =D= I loved it! :D
  7. jaina_clan_solo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    =D= great challenge response Kes!

    Obi-Wan's vision was quite chilling... Perhaps he should have told Qui-Gon

    I loved it

    jaina
  8. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    that was such a well done challenge response! very creepy, and even more so that you don't attempt to give any answers at all.
    i used to camp a lot with my family when i was younger and i remember lots of late nights alone by the fire.. the flames can play tricks on you! (course this could have been more then a trick of the flames too!)
    =D=
    nice to see you on the boards again![:D]
  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    What a wonderful use of the quote Kes. I can really see how the fic came form the quote. =D= =D=
  10. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    The colors were beautiful; golden oranges and yellows encased the blood red centre which held a flicker of blue within it. It must be the branches of the trees that caused it to glow so, he thought, as the colors seemed to change before his eyes.

    *shivers* Lovely descriptions! *glances around* Why does it have to be so dark in this room... [face_worried]

    =D= Wonderful challenge response, Kes! I love your quote and what you did with it. :D
  11. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
  12. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight"
    was a brilliant quote
    and it seemed fitting knowing what is in store for Obi-wan
    on Naboo.
    He dances with the devil and looses his Master:_|

    Lovely challange=D=
  13. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    awesome job, Kes!

    i loved all the foreshadowing. damn, Maul is creepy no matter what form he takes.
    the imagery was beautiful in its eeriness and i loved the description of the surrounding forest.

    Qui snores! i knew it!
  14. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Oh, whoa. That's a beautiful, chilling quote, and a beautiful, chilling story to match.

    I especially liked the part at the beginning, Obi-Wan's thoughts about Qui-Gon sleeping, and the fire, and everything. It was very comfortable, you have a very nice voice in your writing, the perspective was dead-on. :)

    Great work.
  15. Stella_Ripple Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Oh my!:eek:what vividly creepy imagery! Bravo! I loved the whole concept fascinating, and I could totally see the whole scene while reading it!
    And LOL Qui-gon snoring! *smirks* I loved the ending, Qui's gentle concern and obi's response, the firelight- perfect!

    Most humbling oh talented one! :D
  16. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
  17. ImperialSpy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2005
    star 1
    What a creepy but great entry! I loved it!
  18. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    Great job on a completely amazing post!!!!
  19. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    Pretty scary! Very good job on this one :)
  20. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    Yes, this was creepy! I like the image of Maul appearing in the fire--his face does lend itself to that great comparison. I also liked the idea of Obi-Wan having his own "visions" like his future padawan. Great job! =D=
  21. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Kelia - Thank you! :) ... I'll send him on over to the Obi thread to get warmed up! [face_mischief]

    jodi - thanks. More? Not at the moment, but who knows what my muse will bring with her when she returns! :)

    Valairy_Scot - Thank you!

    Layren - :) thanks for reading - glad you liked!

    VaderLVR64 - Great quote! And wonderfully incorporated! I loved it! Aw, [face_blush] thanks!

    jaina - Thank you so much! :)

    obi - [:D] ...thanks m'dear! Glad you enjoyed it!

    Leona - :D thanks for reading!

    Nienna - [:D] Thanks for your help with this! *Turns on light*...better? :)

    Noelie - Thanks!

    Gkilkenny - Thank you - Glad you liked it!

    JL - Thanks [:D] ...Qui snores! i knew it! ...lol...I wish I did! [face_mischief]

    Charmisjess - Thank you for such a lovely review... you have a very nice voice in your writing, the perspective was dead-on...[face_blush] You really made my day!

    stella - [:D] thank you sis...if you're happy I'm happy!

    Darksaber - Thank you!

    ImperialSpy - Thanks for reading!

    kenobiwanobi - Aw, thanks! :)

    MASTER_KAYM - Oh, I like being scary! :D Glad you enjoyed it!

    Luna - Thanks! :)
  22. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    WOW. Awesome job, and a wonderful useage of one of my favorite quotes! [:D]
  23. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Miana - Thank you so much - I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D
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