Into the Mouth of Madness

***Checks up on replies on story. Excitment fills Jedi Milan-Kenobi when she Jedi Green8 actually visited***
Hi everyone! Well after being scared off by Jane Jinn (Just joking) I have come back from a Writing Class with a new passion of getting this story up to speed!
***********

It's so cold. Why is it so cold? Where am I? Qui-Gon? Are you there? Please help me! Don't leave me alone! Please Qui-Gon! Don't let them near me. I promise I'll be a better Padawan! Please Qui-Gon help me! Don't leave me alone! Please!

Qui-Gon Jinn tried to push Obi-Wan's pleads out of his mind. Had he actually done the autrocities that Obi-Wan had implied? Waves of powerful painful emotions hit Qui-Gon hard. He loved Obi-Wan as a son...Obi-Wan knew that.

Snap out of it...Obi-Wan will come back to you. You hope. Qui-Gon had never felt so much despair. He badly wanted to help Portia cure Obi-Wan...of what ever he did had. But until he could help.

Qui-Gon had to sit and wait.
****

I can't believe this is happening. Portia moaned inwardly. She sat across the room from Obi-Wan who had became somewhat of a recluse after he broke out. "How did you?"

"Escape." He whispered. "The force can be a powerful ally against the weak minded." Portia nodded in understanding. "You nod as a understanding. But do you truely understand?"

Those words hit Portia like a sabe running her through. "What do you mean by that Obi-Wan?"

"You don't think I was in the right." He pointed out. "You thought me confronting Qui-Gon was wrong. I felt it to be right."

Portia clinched her fist. She wasn't upset with him...she couldn't be. But it was just the whole concept in itself. "I need to tell you something Obi-Wan."

"What can you possibly tell me?" Obi-Wan asked.

"The truth about Qui-Gon."

 

Ooooh!

What is this truth? Is she just explaining what we know as the truth or is she going to tell him something else?

Don't leave me in suspense.

MORE PLEASE!

 

Stay tuned...the truth will be revealed.

 

this is getting interesting, and im going to keep reading.



cool.gif



-HimitsuNo

 

deleted by popular demand

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 05-05-2000).]

 

The truth? He shook his head in fury and fear. He knew the truth, Qui-Gon betrayed him. It was simple and plain as that. Obi-Wan often wondered if this was destined to happen. But for some odd reason, he wanted to trust her. Very badly, he needed someone to confide in, or he felt lost. Everyday was a constant struggle not to give in to his hate. "What is it?"

"He wasn't there Obi-Wan." Portia said cautiously. Obi-Wan gave an empty stare, not knowing how to comprehend the truth. No! She was lying! He saw him there. He saw him give permision. Nononono.

"No!" He screamed, not in anger, but in fear. Qui-Gon was there! He couldn't dream that. "Portia he was there!" Portia walked over to Obi-Wan. Her grey eyes showed sympathy to what Obi-Wan was going through. But did she really understand? She had been in his place before.

"Obi-Wan." She began. Obi-Wan saw the pain that filled her. Was it pain for him? Or for Qui-Gon? Did she work for him? For the lab? Was he going to go back? Tears began to flow from Obi-Wan. He once would try to stop the tears. But not any longer. Portia reached for Obi-Wan but he slapped her hand away before she could give a somewhat comforting embrace.

"Get out of here." He whimpered. "I thought I could trust you Portia."

Portia gave a look as if she was stabbed through the heart. "You can trust me." Obi-Wan gave a cold hearted look at her. How could she help him? He had been through so much. "Don't shut me out now." She pleaded.

"Leave." Obi-Wan repeated. His tears began to flow more heavy. "Please...just go." Portia, with a heavy heart got up and walked out of the room. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his knees and began to rock himself to sleep.

"What's happening to me?"

 

deleted by popular demand

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 05-05-2000).]

 

That's it, he's cracked up.

I can't help but feel guilty as one of the people who love to beat him within an inch of his life...

<sigh>

Don't give up on him too easy Portia! Get your butt back in there!

 

As Portia closed the door behind her she heard Obi-Wan sliently weep. She wanted so badly to turn around and go back in. It was best not to. She thought. He has lost her trust, at least that is what he thinks. Trying desprately not to begin to cry herself she hurried out of the pshyciatric ward and turned down the dark halls of the temple.

How was she going to gain his trust again? The same exact question haunted her mind repeatedly as she made her way to her quarters. Wallowing in her own emotions, it wasn't that much of a surprise she ran head on with someone. They both took a spill on the floor. "I'm sorry." The person had a female voice.

Portia rubbed her head and looked up to the female. It looked sort of anphibious. "It was my fault I should have watched where I was going." The other helped Portia up and brushed her off.

"Are you new at the temple?" The girl asked. Portia shook her head 'yes.' "Well! My name is Bant." The girl bowed to Portia as she did the same to her.

 

deleted

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 05-05-2000).]

 

Milan, guess who?
WRITE MORE!!!

 

Milan, love the story Babe! Keep up the terrific story writing.

I would like to inform Jane Jinn that from my point of view it seems as though she is attempting to write the story for Milan.
I Would also like to suggest that if the posts are too short for her perhaps she shold wait until several have accumulated and then read them. Perhaps the posts are small but I'm sure Milan has a life other than writing this story, and we are all lucky that she posts for us at all!!

I was so excited to hear the Green8 visited us!

 

I agree with Jane Jinn. The posts are way too short. But at least we have the twist of Bant being availiable.

Come on, I'm dying to know more!

 

I am getting interested in this, your doing good and I cant wait untill you get to the part we talked about. This is addicting.



-HimitsuNo

eek.gif

 

Bant....Bant...Where had she heard that before? Was she someone she met before? Did she know her? Portia exchanged stares with the girl. Bant looked as confused as Portia. "Umm...Bant? Have we met before?"

Bant thought about it. "I don't think so." She thought back, Portia....Portia. "Wait a minute. Are you the one helping Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Portia shook her head 'yes.' "Well that is where you probably heard my name. I am close friends with him."

"Oh." Portia responded. Hmmm...could Bant help her out? Could she be what she needs to get back to Obi-Wan? Maybe, if they were close enough, and if they trusted eachother. Hopefully he didn't hallucinate about her while in the lab. "Bant, are you busy right now?"

Bant shook her head no. " I am free for the rest of the day. Do you need my assistance?"

"Yes." Portia motioned Bant to follow her. "But before you can help me, I need to bring you up to speed about what is wrong with Obi-Wan." Bant nodded her on. "Obi-Wan dissapeared on his last mission. I suppose you have heard that much. Well during the time he was missing he was taken to a experimental lab." Portia shuddered. "The things they do to people there Bant, you wouldn't wish on the most evil Sith. They perform experiments, every type you could possibly imagine. Take the worst pain you have experienced, multiply it by a thousand, and you are still far from it."

Bant stood in shock. " I heard he doesn't want Master Qui-Gon to come near him. Is that the result of the experiments?"

Portia nodded. "Unfortunately...yes. It is a side affect from one of the drugs. It is a hallucinate; the scientists inject it into the area surrounding your eye. It's quite painful. The drug is supposed to make you feel as if you were in a peaceful enviroment. But in some cases, it is quite the opposite effect. You have never felt that much fear. It's as if you could almost taste it. You see things that aren't there. That is how Obi-Wan saw Qui-Gon, and that is why he is afraid of him."

Bant processed the information. Could she ask Portia if she could help her with helping Obi-Wan? Would it benifit him any? "Um...Portia?"

"Yes Bant?" Portia replied softly.

"Maybe...." She hesitated. " Maybe I can help you some with Obi-Wan. Growing up...me and him were best friends. We trusted eachother with everything. He saved my life, I feel as if I owe him. May I please help you? I'll do anything you ask." Portia smiled.

"I believe you can help me Bant." Portia remembered what happend earlier. "Maybe on more levels than one."

"How's that?"

" Obi-Wan yelled at me to leave him alone earlier. I know I didn't do anything to him. But I know that it is his fear that is talking. If you could convince him that I am someone that he could trust..."

"Then both of us can bring him back." Bant smiled with hope. "I think I can do that for you Portia."

"Well we shouldn't waste anytime. Let me get into contact with Master Qui-Gon, then we will go and see what we can do for Obi-Wan."

***
I'll post more...don't freak out everyone!

 

The sadness and frustraition threatend to spill over inside Qui-Gon Jinn. Everyday he lost more and more hope that he would have his Padawan back. He had never felt so much hopelessness when he thought about Obi-Wan. Would he ever have him back. No...he stopped himself, Portia said he would. She said that he would come back.

Qui-Gon let out a heavy sigh. But when? A soft knock came at Qui-Gon's door. "Enter." He looked up to see Portia enter with Bant not too far behind her. "Portia...Bant...hello." Portia looked to Bant then back to Qui-Gon.

"We have an idea." Portia started. Qui-Gon felt a spark of hope go through him. But he quickly shut the door on that spark. He didn't want to get his hopes up to high.

"Continue." Bant now stepped up to Qui-Gon. "Sir...Portia thought that since i am good friends with Obi-Wan that maybe it would help her and me convince him to let you speak with him."

"I think it will work Qui-Gon." Portia pulled back some loose strands of her hair; as she sensed a huge amount of uncertanty coming from Qui-Gon. "He trusted her, they have a special bond of trust that only true friends can share. If Bant could convince Obi-Wan of your innocence...I'm sure he will come back quicker."

Qui-Gon swallowed the lump in his throat. Was this going to work? Or was this going to be another bad attempt at trying to get back Obi-Wan from the darkness that he has come to call home? Or would it actually work. But he had to give Portia his support in this. She was doing her job and she knew what she was doing. He shouldn't question her skills as a healer. "Allright...I hope this works." Portia put her hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder.

"It will Qui-Gon...he will come to trust you again. This I can promise you." And with that...Portia and Bant made their way to the room where Obi-Wan was held.

***

I'm sorry Portia. Don't leave me...please? I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I trust you. You never did anything to me...you have only helped me greatly. Obi-Wan's eyes were red with tears that he could no longer shed. Please come back. You don't understand...I need you.

I love you.

______
Just because I am mean and dinner is ready I will leave this post at that. Besides I think that I have done pertty decent for today. I hope this goes ok with Jane Jinn and light_sabe_r. I will post by this evening.

-Milan-Kenobi

 

Those words rang in his head. 'I love you.' How could he have been so cruel to her? Obi-Wan put his head in his hands and let out a heavy sigh. He had never been so helpless. Ugh...some jedi I've become. How could it have ended up like this? As these questions ran through his head he heard a soft knock at the door. "Enter."

His hardend face lighted up slilghtly as he saw Portia come into the room. "Portia...I..." Portia held up a hand to stop him.

"You don't have to-" Obi-Wan walked up to Portia.

"No...I do." He looked to the ground, not Portia. "I'm sorry for my behavior before Portia. I shouldn't have acted in the way I did towards you. Your kindness and love has only helped me, and I tried to shove it away." Portia smiled faintly.

"I never knew you thought of me in that way before Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan couldn't help but give a manly blush. "But now Obi-Wan, I have a suprise for you." Portia exited momentarily and came back in with another person. It...it's Bant! Obi-Wan, overwhelmed by his emotions began to cry. Bant sensed his sadness and walked over to Obi-Wan and hugged him gently. Portia smiled. "I'll leave you to alone." Portia needed to talk to someone and she hoped that if she wasn't there; that Obi-Wan would give more information to Bant if it was just her. She walked outside Obi-Wan's door. As she did so she saw Qui-Gon sitting with his head in his hands. Reluctantly, Portia sat next to him and put a arm around his shoulders. "Bant's talking with him now."

For a long moment Qui-Gon didn't reply. Then breaking the irre silence he spoke with his head still in his hands. "I've known Obi-Wan for most of his life." He started, ignoring Portia's comment before. "I took him as my padawan learner when he was 12...turning 13. Now he's 20, and within those years I have made a friend unlike any other." Portia held back tears.

"And that will help out Obi-Wan to trust you again." Portia tried to raise Qui-Gon's spirits. Qui-Gon looked at her with red, dry eyes. "Don't give up on a friendship like what you have with Obi-Wan. I am not trying to analyze what you and Obi-Wan shared. I could never do that. But I know you want to help him as much as everyone else does."

Qui-Gon sighed heavily. "I do want to help him. We have been through so much together. I try to remind myself everyday that we will get through this. But...that night he snuck into my room...and I saw him. I became uncertain about this. Was he going to come back?"

"He will."

****

Obi-Wan sat in the corner of the room watching Bant pace back and forth. Suddenly she turned to face him that threw him off startiling him. "Obi-Wan...you trust me...don't you?"

What kind of question was that? Obi-Wan thought Bant knew that he trusted her. "Of course Bant, I trust you." Bant looked nervous about the situation. "What is it?"

"Obi-Wan you have to promise me soemthing." Bant sat next to him. "What I am about to say may upset you. But don't try to intefere on what I have to say. Let me say what I need to say. It may seem as if I am trying to make you afraid....I'm not."

What is Bant talking about? No! She wouldn't! But he would promise her to hear what she has got to say. "I promise Bant." Bant took one of Obi-Wan's hands and held it in-between both of hers.

 

Bant looked sincerely into Obi-Wan's eyes. She did not want to upset him. Not in the least. "I want to tell you something about Qui-Gon." Bant was taken aback by the fear that she could see build up in Obi-Wan's mind and heart. He quickly tried to move away from her but she still held him tightly. "You don't have to be afraid anymore. NO ONE can hurt you any longer."

Obi-Wan softly began to cry again. Bant wrapped her arms around him and tried to soothe him as best as she could. Is she telling the truth? Can she be? How? "You mean that Qui-Gon can't let the scientist hurt me anymore?"

It tore at Bant's heart to hear him talk like this. A grown man...almost ready to become a knight. Having so much fear in him he seems like a lost child. "Obi-Wan...he wasn't there." Obi-Wan shot up.

"No!" He cried. No! He was there...he couldn't have imagined that. "Bant he was there...I saw him." Bant shook her her head no.

"He wasn't Obi-Wan." Bant wiped away a tear that had fallen on Obi-Wan's cheek. "When you had dissapeard Qui-Gon contacted me. He wanted me to help him find you."

"No I don't believe you!!!!!!"

 

I hope that Zfileb didn't scare off anyone!

 

deleted by popular demand

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 05-05-2000).]

 

Jane Jinn...I must apologize for ZfileB. She is just...what you would say, protective? But I love everyone's insight. You are my favorite OBT Writer! I even voted for you in that one thread about the favorite writers. Well anyway...back to the story!

 

Long Post For Jane Jinn!
******
Obi-Wan hugged his knees. His hairs on the back of his kneck stood on end as just the name wanted to make Obi-Wan sick. How could Bant...how could anyone do this to him? "No...I don't believe you Bant."

Bant, obviously hurt by the matter stood up.
What was she going to say? She wanted to cry right there...no. It wouldn't help the situation any to have the both of them in tears. "Obi-Wan..." He went to interupt her but she cut him off. "Please listen to me. Qui-Gon would never hurt you, not now, not ever. The reason why you saw him in the lab is because they had you on a hallucanent drug. Which the end result is that you see things that wasn't there. While you were taken, Qui-Gon searched for you a solid week without sleep." Obi-Wan put his head in his hands. "And when the scientist set you free." Bant had to control her own tears now, remembering what had happend. "I had never seen a grown man cry before Obi-Wan. But when he saw what they had done to you. He wept for you Obi-Wan, he still does. You can't shut him out like this Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan desprately tried to hold his emotions inside him not to be seen. Was Bant actually speaking the truth. His Master...crying for him? "You are speaking the truth Bant?" Bant nodded with a faint smile. "Is he here?"

"Obi-Wan. He's been here the whole time." Obi-Wan stood up and ran his fingers unconciously through his hair. "Will you speak with him."

Obi-Wan fought back tears. " I know you only speak with truth and sincerity for Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan touched what remained of the brusies that were around his eyes. "If I speak with him...will you or Portia stay in the room. So I feel safe?" Bant nodded.

"It will be Portia. She's the healer...not I." Obi-Wan stood up and straightend up his sleep shirt. "So will you speak with him?"

"I guess so." Obi-Wan noddded. Yes. He wanted to do this. Bant smiled.

"Okay. I'll be back." Bant quickly went outside and shut the door behind her.

***
Qui-Gon had told Portia more than he had told anyone before in his whole life. Maybe he just felt comfortable doing so now. She was the only one who would listen to him. That's probably the reasoning. As he stood to stretch his tired legs Bant came bounding out of the room. "Well?"

She smiled. "I am glad to say that Obi-Wan has agreed to speak with you." Qui-Gon let out a sigh of relief. But Bant raised her hand before he could reply. " But he has given some request before you go in there."

"What are they?" Portia asked. Pulling her black hair into somewhat of messy bun.

 

deleted

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 05-05-2000).]

 

My most Humble apologies to you Jane Jinn. I was sick and running a 101 temp, and just got grounded. I let my temper get away again, I have a habbit of doing that. I'm sorry I almost scared you away and I'm glad thay Milan brought you back! Please accept my apologies.

Mika

 

Bant unconciously twisted at the bottom of her tunic. "He wants you to come in with Qui-Gon, Portia." Portia looked to Qui-Gon and back to Bant. "Obi-Wan feels if you are in the room with him, he will be safe."

Portia sighed, she was worried about this. Qui-Gon's expressions hadn't changed so she just came out and asked him. "Do you have a problem with me going in there with you?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No. If that is what he wants that is what he should recieve." Qui-Gon walked up to the door and rested his head for a long moment. He had not actually spoken with his padawan since they had found him. How would this go? Would it all work out? He felt Portia's hand on his shoulder.

"It will be okay Qui-Gon." Portia tried to reassure him, and herself. The truth was, Portia didn't know how he would react, maybe it was a good thing she was going in with him. Qui-Gon stood up tall and headed inside the room.

**********

Obi-Wan kept a hard glaze as he sensed Qui-Gon's presence in the room. He couldn't make himself look at his master. How would he say things to him? How would Qui-Gon reply? Obi-Wan obviously had no idea about how things were going to go here. Obi-Wan nervously looked up to Qui-Gon then looked to the ground again. He was as intimidated as a small child of Qui-Gon's size. He tried to speak but all that could come out was a soft. "Hi..."

Qui-Gon's heart wrenched as he saw his Padawan. It was almost as if Obi-Wan had turned back into a small child. "Hello Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon sat in the other corner of the room, not to upset his padawan.

For a long moment they just stared at eachother. Exchanging silent words that only the two of them could understand. The sorrow threatend to over flow within Qui-Gon's eyes; and the fear threatened to eat Obi-Wan alive. Obi-Wan choked back tears and put his head in his hands. There was obviously something said that had upset or either surprised Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon stared at his hands, not knowing what to say. He thought he had this planed out. But obviously wrong. All he could think of to say was. "I'm sorry my Padawan." Feeling defeated in his heart Qui-Gon stood up slowly and began to walk to the door.

No! Obi-Wan's heart cried. Portia was speaking the truth, so was Bant! There was no logic in Qui-Gon actually doing that. No! Somehow...it now made some kind of sense. "Ma...Master?" Obi-Wan stood to face his master who had turned with Obi-Wan's call. Qui-Gon nooded faintly and Obi-Wan continued. "B..Bant said that you went searching for me. Is it true?"

Qui-Gon frowned inwardly. He saw the amount of pain that subsided in Obi-Wan's heart. "Yes...as soon as I realized you were missing I went looking for you. I didn't stop until I found you." Tears were streaming down Obi-Wan's face now. Not in sorrow...but in happiness.

"Yo..You mean you weren't in the lab." Qui-Gon shook his head 'no' in response. "And you would have stoped them if you were there?" Qui-Gon shook his head 'yes.' Obi-Wan sobbed harder. His master was speaking the truth. He would have done that. Obi-Wan looked to Portia then to Qui-Gon. He walked up slowly to Qui-Gon. "I'm sorry." Obi-Wan quickly hugged his master and moistend Qui-Gon's tunic with his tears.

"No Padawan I'm sorry." Qui-Gon rubbed Obi-Wan's hair as he held Obi-Wan close to him. He wasn't going to let his Jedi ego get the best of his Padawan. Qui-Gon looked up to see Portia walk out the door. He mouthed a 'thank you,' and Portia noded in response and shut the door. Qui-Gon held his Padawan and whispered softly to him. "Rest now...the pain is over."