Before Invisible Enemy -- (An-Paj!) COMPLETE and with thanks!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jane Jinn, Oct 6, 2003.

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  1. HaiGan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2000
    star 4
    I haven't forgotten you! RL is getting in the way. That and the concert last week and the games convention last weekend. But I have been reading, and if I've got a braincell or two to rub together at the same time as having a minute or two to rub together while being in the physical vicinity of a useable PC pssessing an Internet connection, I'll try to come up with a somewhat more coherant response than this one. And I now return you to your regular conversation (not to detract from the story, which is wonderful, but I have to confess that I enjoy reading the responses of the other readers almost as much as the story itself).
  2. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    dianethx Yes, the invasion is over and it's time for the clean-up.

    padawan lunetta Breathe in, breathe out, that's good, everything's calm now and Trett's getting the help that he needs.

    Everybody keeps asking where Hachas is ... I'm afraid you'll have to wait a few more posts to find out.

    PadawanKitara Yes, it's pretty upsetting for Kiu, poor thing.

    HaiGan Concert? Games weekend? Goodness, you are busy! I've always wondered what it must be like to have lots of talents, but I'm starting to guess that it would be busy! What kind of games? I'm quite fond of board games myself, but I wouldn't be surprised if you meant computer games.

    Here's the second half of the An-Paj and Kiu scene:

    *****

    ?It?s Knight Trett, isn?t it?? Kiu asked, obviously fearing the worst. ?And he really was hurt, just like in my dream.?

    ?You dreamed about my master?? Arwen asked, standing up. ?What was it about??

    ?One ... two ... three,? An-Paj said. Wiyella had been giving Kiusan a curious look, but got back to work at the sound of his voice. Together, they lifted up Knight Trett and placed him carefully on the gurney. Arwen came around to the side of the gurney and reclaimed her grip on her master?s hand, and Kiusan followed the entire procession. Once they were outside, An-Paj saw her hurry out from behind Wiyella to walk next to Arwen and keep a worried eye on Knight Trett.

    ?What did you dream?? Arwen asked again, glancing at Kiu as they headed around the Chapter House to find an entrance that wasn?t blocked by a pile of rubble.

    ?That he was in a factory on Batanga. That he was hurt, but he was worried about you, and someone with long blonde hair, like her.?

    ?Is that all?? An-Paj asked, risking a quick glance back to Wiyella, who merely looked concerned.

    ?I didn?t dream that he died,? Kiusan said, sounding a bit defensive. ?He was afraid he was dying, but I didn?t dream that he did. I just knew that he was hurt and he was very worried. Time was running out. Then there was an alarm ... or maybe that was the red alert here at the Chapter House ... and then I woke up. My master and I tried to find him, so that I could tell him the dream and warn him not to go, but we couldn?t. He must have already been on Batanga by then, or at least on the way.?

    ?Yes, he was,? Arwen said. ?He rescued us. We would have died without his help.?

    ?Oh.? Kiusan fell silent. An-Paj could feel confusion and helplessness coming from her now. A moment later, she suddenly screamed, ?Why??

    ?Why what?? he asked, stopping to gaze questioningly at her. The gurney stopped moving, and both Arwen and Wiyella gave him looks of astonishment and incomprehension. With a start, he realized that Kiusan hadn?t actually spoken aloud, and cursed himself for being so tired that he hadn?t been able to hear the difference. Kiusan herself gaped at him with a frozen expression of shock on her face, as though he?d caught her doing something she wasn?t supposed to, and her cheeks had turned bright red.

    ?I?m s-s-sorry,? she stammered, looking him penetratingly in the eye in the way that padawans were taught to do when they were being scolded.

    ?I apologize,? An-Paj said. ?Your thoughts were so loud ... I couldn?t help but overhear. But, Kiusan, if you have any questions, you?re certainly allowed to ask.?

    As Arwen and Wiyella turned to stare at Kiusan, her shoulders drooped and her head tilted forwards a bit. Her eyes, however, remained fixed on him. ?I was just wondering why I had the dream in the first place. It came too late. He was already gone. I couldn?t have warned him. And if I had warned him, he never would have come to rescue you.?

    ?Well, I don?t know about that,? Wiyella murmured, and Arwen almost smiled.

    ?I?m so sorry, Kiusan. I don?t know why you had the dream,? An-Paj admitted. He gave the gurney a nudge, and they all started walking again.

    ?You didn?t dream that he died,? Wiyella said brightly. ?That?s a good thing.?

    Arwen nodded in agreement, st
  3. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Poor Kiu-ball! :( I'm glad that they're to relative safety and that things will get better.
  4. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Poor kid. She needs a hug and someone to help her figure out what to do with her 'visions'. I'm glad that Trett will get better eventually.

    Keep going!
  5. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  6. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    *breathes in* *breaths out* *repeats* ;)

    Poor Kiu definitely...loved her interaction with Arwen though! She DOES need a hug, from Hachas...(I know, I know, I still have to wait a few posts, but I never claimed to have patience. ;))

  7. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Upping this because we all want to know what happens next.
  8. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Sorry about the delay. I thought it was Renata's turn to post next, but it turned out that it's mine.

    By the way, a page or two back, somebody asked if An-Paj's wives were sisters or not. Yes, they are; they are the daughters of their father and his wives. Hope that makes sense.

    DarthIshtar Kiu-ball! That's one I never thought of. :D

    Dianethx Yes, Kiu definitely needs help in sorting out her visions. I'm thinking of a 'mentor' in addition to her master, but I haven't quite decided who the mentor should be.

    PadawanKitara Yes, poor Kiubits -- again! Will anything ever go right for her? Well ...

    padawan lunetta The hug is coming in a few posts. I don't have much patience, either, so it won't be too long.

    *****

    Sensing Arwen?s sideways looks, and almost feeling the girl?s questions for which she had no answers, Kiu let herself lag farther and farther behind the group as they walked. By the time she reached the infirmary again, the group of healers had disappeared, and Kiu took the chance to escape as well before Healer Johakin found her again with yet another task. This time, she went up the stairs, thinking that she might find Hachas still on the roof. There were Jedi there, overseeing the removal of the gas droids and more bodies, but she couldn?t see Hachas? distinctive cloak in the light of the dawn. Surely he?d be visible somewhere, lending a helping hand? Hachas had never been one to slink away when there was work to be done. He was probably just out of sight behind an antenna or one of the solar panels, or even the roof garden over on the south.

    ?Coming through!? a woman called out, and Kiu stepped hastily out of the way as a stretcher with a sheet-covered body was carried through the corridor between two solar panels. Gripped by a sudden fear, Kiu stared at the still form, wondering if she hadn?t been able to spot her master on the roof because he was the one underneath the sheet.

    ?Who?? She had to run to keep up with the stretcher-bearers. ?Who is that??

    They stopped, but instead of giving an answer or even folding back the sheet, the woman posed a question of her own. ?Are you looking for somebody in particular??

    ?My master.? Kiu peered around the Shistavanen Jedi in front of her, but the sheet-covered body was now in the shadow of the solar panel and she couldn?t make out any distinguishing characteristics.

    ?Male? Female? Which species??

    ?Male. Human. Hachas Tlatilco,? Kiu added.

    The woman almost smiled, but shook her head, and the Shistavanen growled, ?There was a human male back there on the east section ??

    ?His cloak was brown, not purple,? the woman cut in. ?Check down in the infirmary, Padawan, or maybe in the Refectory. I think I heard somebody say something about making tea and a few snacks for the survivors.?

    ?Thank you,? Kiu said, breathing out slowly. Funny, she hadn?t been aware of the exact moment that panic had gripped her heart, but she certainly felt it dissolve, leaving her drenched in cold relief. If there were snacks available and if the ?survivors? were being treated to them, then Hachas would most likely be there. Momentarily weak, but picking up strength as she went, she followed the stretcher down the stairs. It was strange to think of herself and Hachas as survivors, she thought as she went down, and not part of the Jedi rescue team, like they usually were.

    The cafeteria, however, and part of the corridor leading to it, had been blocked off with signs that proclaimed a wet floor, and Kiu could not only see, but also smell a small army of cleaning droids at work. They seemed to be using extra-concentrated cleansing foam at a high temperature, and the scent of artificial minne steamed towards her. Wrinkling her nose, Kiu skirted hastily around the wet section of corridor and headed for the nearest stairs that led down to the underground rooms. Perhaps she?d find Hachas there, doing something while waiting for the cafeteria to become available. She felt vaguely guilty about not
  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I can't keep saying poor baby, but that's what I'm thinking right now.
  10. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  11. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    Poor Kiu indeed. If I were her I would be terrified that I was going to find him in the infirmary just that little bit too late.

    She definitely needs a special mentor for those visions... Hachas will be a fine mentor for the "standing out in a crowd" stuff... Except of course, it doesn't seem to bother him at all...

    KD
  12. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Poor Kiu. She must be going crazy at this point. And it is very sad that so many have died. I can really relate to her panic.

    Keep going!
  13. HaiGan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2000
    star 4
    What's this doing on page 2? No time for a proper reply (not until friday), but at least this should put it back up on top again. :)
  14. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    I?m sorry, everyone. Between Mod Life and Real Life, I?ve been a bit pre-occupied & down at the mouth. But I think I?m back on track. Thank you, Jane, for soldiering on! @};-

    And a hale and hearty thank you to all the Regulars and Loyal Lurkers for putting up with the delay! [:D]

    * * *

    It was like being in a dream or a nightmare. Arwen walked behind the stretcher in a daze, still cold, exhausted, shaking a little. Kiu had disappeared somewhere; she'd turned to ask her friend something and found only herself. The corridors of the Chapter House were filled with dust and smoke, clusters of people moving around...chaotic. So confusing. The only thing that seemed solid, real, was the cold hand that she was holding. If she squeezed she could feel a pulse.

    "Mistress!" The young apprentice turned to see a tall, tawny-skinned girl emerge from the smoke and hug Wiyella fiercely. "Are you--?"

    "I'm fine," said Wiyella, detaching herself and glancing down at Trett, who was very still. "I've got a critical. Kem, can you--?"

    "Got it." Kemba took Arwen's free hand, gently pulling her away from the stretcher towards an examining room. "Come on, Arwen, let's get you taken care of."

    Arwen frowned, trying to pull away. "But-" she protested.

    "They're taking him into surgery, then dropping him into a bacta tank for a day or two. You can sit beside him as long as you want, then, but right now there's not much you can do for him." The older apprentice paused, pulling at Arwen's tunic. "Are these bites? I thought so. Come on; bites are full of all kinds of nasty infectious things, and we won't be able to spare a bacta tank for you."

    Arwen had always rather liked Wiyella's apprentice, but she still wasn't happy about going along with her, not when her master was so badly injured. Even then, she had to admit that the older girl was right. An-Paj and Wiyella and all the resources the Jedi could offer were with him right now. She sat quietly as Kemba helped her out of her ruined tunics, carefully examined her injuries, and sprayed some sort of antibiotic foam on the open wounds and the bites. The apprentice Healer carefully checked her joints, particularly her left leg. She'd injured it a few years ago, and while it had healed it always seemed more susceptible to more injuries. Only when Kemba had checked her over from top to toe was she pronounced safe.

    Kemba helped her into clean robes, and brought her to a small room where rows of recovery cots were being set up by the Jedi relief teams. "We're turning this into a ward," she explained. "Between the colonists with the virus, the Batangans injured in the attack and our own people, the Healers' bay is full up. So you'll have to stay on a cot here." She fastened a medical monitoring bracelet to Arwen's wrist. "DON'T take this off," she added with a stern glare.

    "I won't," Arwen promised, rolling her eyes. She looked anxiously towards the door. "Can't I--?"

    "Still in surgery. I promise, the minute he comes out, I'll come and find you, okay? Now--" She pushed Arwen gently down on to the cot, and beckoned to another young Healer apprentice, a Tokoffi boy who was only about eight or nine. He brought a tray over, and offered it to Arwen.

    "Drink this," ordered Kemba. Arwen looked at the cup, some sort of steaming warm milk. She wasn't thirsty, but the two fledgling Healers were looking at her with very stubborn glances, and Arwen knew she didn't have a prayer of arguing her lack of appetite. Obediently she drank it and only when the cup was nearly empty did Kemba nod and send the boy away.

    "You finish this," she said. "I'll go check on his status. When you're done, just lie down and sleep a while, okay?" She hesitated, then crouched by the side of the cot and rested her hand on Arwen's shoulder. "Hey...he will be okay. This is one patient Mistress Wiyella isn't about to lose, you know."

    Arwen managed a lopsided smile. "I hope you're right," she said.

    Kemba grinned, and her eyes had a sudden twinkle. "Oh," she replied, "I know[
  15. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Even Kemba knows about the feelings those two have for each other. Far from being a Temple secret apparently.
  16. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    Poor Arwen. Poor Kiu. Poor Hachas (that we still don't know anything about - grrrr). Poor Trett. Poor Wiyella (especially if I spelled that wrong which I did though I have now erased the evidence - usually I am smart enough to copy them before I hit post reply). Sigh...

    Note to self: Make sure to keep out of any of Jane and Renata's stories. They seem to have really internalized that "It's a hard life." bit.

    At least Trett's where there are healers and so on now. And one hopes the same is true for Hachas.


    kd
  17. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Poor Arwen and Trett. At least Wiyella is there to make sure the guy pulls through. Hopefully, she won't be shy about her feelings once he's recovered!!!! I thought it was cute that everyone seems to know about the romance but the two in question.

    So where's Hachas????

    Good job.
  18. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Oh - great tension here keeping us worried about Hachas. :)

    I love the details you both work into the story - keeping the pace going but adding to the richness. Such good writing. :)

    ?It was an invasion,? he said softly, and they all turned to stare at what had once been the Rotunda and the main door of the Chapter House. It was all rubble now, a pile of stone and dust. For a moment, nobody said anything, and then Wiyella murmured, ?Let?s hope the infirmary is still intact.? Perfect piece of writing - the contrast between Wiyella's tone and the horror of what they see, and at the same time the sense you've managed to instill that the Jedi are all too familiar with this kind of senseless waste. Wonderful.

    I really enjoyed the posts as you can guess. :)

    So good to see Trett getting the care he needs. I love the way everyone BUT the two people involved know how they feel about one another. :)

    I also enjoyed the scene with Kiu and An-Paj. Of course he wants to help her - the dear man. It's a fearsome gift she has.

    ****

    A quick question - and excuse the ignorance it probably reveals. For the awards should I categorise this as canon or AU? It's tricky with Before the Saga things methinks. I have it slotted into several categories BTW. :)
  19. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Tahi You're nominating us for awards in several categories? [face_blush] Thank you! But if you're ignorant about whether this story is AU or canon, then so am I, because I can't decide either! I've gone back to look at the requirements for the awards. At first I thought it might be canon, because it certainly does not come into conflict with the movies or officially published Star Wars Books. On the other hand, it doesn't exactly display another aspect in relation to the official Star Wars Universe ... I guess it'll have to be AU, then, just to be on the safe side.

    Thanks for all the great feedback, which means more to us than any award. :)
  20. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Awards, good. Feedback, better! [face_love]

    I think it's Jane's turn next...

    And actually very few people know about the budding romance. An-Paj & An-Taec know because Trett didn't realize they were telepathic & able to pick up on his thoughts. Kemba knows because as Wiyella's Padawan, her Master can't keep many secrets from her. Master Yoda and Myron both suspect, but are going to see how things work out. Arwen, of course, is clueless! :D
  21. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    I'm here!

    Loved the last couple of posts, there. Still keeping me hanging on Hachas, but I'm rooting that Kiu's going to find him. I really liked how she felt a little guilty about not immediately stepping in to help, very in character for her.

    Poor Arwen, I can't blame her for wanting to follow Trett into his surgery, she's stubborn that way. (I like protective padawans and masters.)

    "You finish this," she said. "I'll go check on his status. When you're done, just lie down and sleep a while, okay?" She hesitated, then crouched by the side of the cot and rested her hand on Arwen's shoulder. "Hey...he will be okay. This is one patient Mistress Wiyella isn't about to lose, you know."

    Arwen managed a lopsided smile. "I hope you're right," she said.

    Kemba grinned, and her eyes had a sudden twinkle. "Oh," she replied, "I know I'm right!"
    lol! I'm in full agreement with Kemba there. ;) I wouldn't mind some Trett\Wiyella mush at all. Just so you know. ;)



  22. jess_squared Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2003
    star 2
    Loyal Lurker checking in for.. I think the first time on this story. And I've been reading it since day one... :)

    My university is out for the summer (Physical Chemistry is evil, btw), and all the side projects that cropped up for the 2 weeks after my last final are actually going to give me a break.. So I can comment.

    Lesse here..

    I love your master/padawan pairs. I think Trett and Arwen and Hachas and Kiu are my favorite OJO-era pairs. And I have gone back and read, thanks to the links in your profiles, the other stories about them. :)

    I love how you brought in Kemba on this last post.. She was great with Arwen.. And so.. I dunno.. Almost mechivious with her knowledge about the chemistry between Trett and Wyella. (Forgive any incoherentness. I spent the day with 60 5th graders..)

    An-Paj and his wives are great. I like seeing how each one is finding a way to contribute.. Not just within their family unit, but as a whole.. Be it in the kitchens or the office.. And now with the youngest one showing off her excellent rescuing pilot skills. It's very easy to get a clear picture of each of their personalities, even ones who haven't gotten a whole lot of mention.

    You guys to a really good job with characterization. :)

    I look forward to the next post.. :)
  23. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    PadawanKitara Well, as Renata said, it's only a select few who know about the budding romance. Arwen's clueless -- wonder how she'd feel if she ever found out. Would she be jealous or supportive? Probably supportive ... supportive to the point of telling Trett that women don't like beards, for instance? Are you getting any bunnies here, Renata?

    Knight_Dilettante Note to self: Make sure to keep out of any of Jane and Renata's stories. They seem to have really internalized that "It's a hard life." bit. Well, you know, I was just in need of a new character ... :D

    dianethx Hopefully, she won't be shy about her feelings once he's recovered!!!! We can hope, can't we, Renata?

    Tahi I love the details you both work into the story - keeping the pace going but adding to the richness. Such good writing. Thank you! :) And, yes, it's a fearsome gift that Kiu has, that's certain, but I think An-Paj wouldn't be able to help if the visions were about things other than medical emergencies. Still, he's a good guy and he wants to do what he can.

    padawan lunetta Yes, Kiu's based a little bit on me, so she has the occasional guilt trip here and there.

    Trett/Wiyella mush ... now that's a novel idea ... are you reading this, Renata? ;)

    jess_squared Welcome, Loyal Lurker! So nice of you to delurk and give us some wonderful comments. *beams happily* I'm glad you like the characterization of An-Paj's wives. Even though they're all sisters (or rather, half-sisters) they are all unique and have different talents and abilities which they can contribute. I'm glad that's come through, because that's something I was trying to show in a clear, but non-obtrusive way. Thanks so much. :)

    My turn next.

    *****

    Kiu could smell dust and smoke again as she came down the stairs, so different from the clear air of the roof, or the acrid scent of cleaning suds. No doubt there?d be a lot of cleaning going on in the next few days. The ventilation system especially would probably need a good dusting -- perhaps even a scouring. As she glanced into the first room of patients, Kiu found that she was looking forward to smelling something other than death and disaster and hopelessness. Her thoughts of the cheerful scents of recovery were interrupted, however, when she stuck her head into the third chamber and heard two different people calling her name.

    ?Padawan Waurk??

    ?Kiu??

    Kiu was amazed to see Princess Rallan, holding a blanketed bundle in her arms, surrounded by a group of Ossar women and children. It seemed that one of them had called out as well, but she didn?t couldn?t tell which one. She settled for glancing questioningly around the room while asking, ?Your Royal Highness??

    ?Can I hold him now?? An-Hael was asking at the same time, and the tiny bundle of baby was passed along into her outstretched arms. Kiu heard her begin to croon, ?Look, Brig, isn?t he adorable??

    Brig only heaved a bored sigh and glanced up at Kiu with a pleading look on his face that she couldn?t quite understand.

    ?Is it over?? Princess Rallan asked, sitting up straight with her hands folded neatly in her lap. ?Are you and Knight Tlatilco both safe??

    ?It?s over, Your Royal Highness,? Kiu replied. ?It should be safe to come up again soon ?- they?re just clearing away the rubble now.?

    Princess Rallan nodded, and from the end of the half-circle, An-Afor suddenly asked, ?Kiu? It was only the Batangans attacking, right? You didn?t see any Doubiletians out there ?- or hear that they?d formed an alliance with the Batangans??

    ?Doubelitians?? Kiu repeated, surprised at the mention of something she hadn?t thought about for weeks. ?No, of course not. Why??

    ?Her Royal Highness is worried that the Theocrats might have traced her here and tried to continue what they began.?

    Kiu looked back at Princess Rallan and understanding clicked into place. ?Your Royal Highness, no! This is something completely different! There?s been no mention o
  24. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    AU - okay, thanks. :)

    Ooh! Still we wait to find out about Hachas. Poor Kiu - getting singled out in everyone's gaze when the subject of babysitting comes up.

    The princess has been through a lot, poor woman. But it sounds like she sees Kiu as a friend.

    Great post.
  25. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    Oh goodie! Princess Rallan is back. I was wondering what had happened to her. As I was reading the section where An-Paj's family were reassuring the Princess I was thinking how very well protected the Princess would be with those women to defend her even if the theocrats had tracked her down. I was thinking I would rather take on a Sith apprentice than try to face down all of An-Paj's wives when they were on the warpath.

    Poor Kiu. I have a feeling she is going to be in for 1) a nasty surprise when she learns her master was hurt and 2) a lot of self induced guilt (all undeserved) for not knowing it had happened.

    KD
  26. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    Loved An-Paj's wives taking turns holding the baby! So following Princess Rallan home...do I detect a sequel? ;)

    Poor Kiu though, since I think I remember Hachas being injured. :( She probably WILL feel guilty about it, then wonder why her curse\gift doesn't benefit him. (OR so I'm assuming ;))

    *turns pleading eyes to Renata* DID You see the suggestion of Trett\Wiyella mush? ;)

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