Before Invisible Enemy -- (An-Paj!) COMPLETE and with thanks!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jane Jinn, Oct 6, 2003.

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  1. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    LOL at Hachas in the beginning, such a twist, actually *liking* the infirmary. ;)

    Loved how Master Xieren was a Seer as well, and recorded a final message. Very intriguing. :)

    Love this paragraph: "You can only see your own reflection, and sometimes a light from outside, if it's brighter than yours inside. But when you turn your light out, you can see what's out there beyond your window. I've known for a while now that it's time for my little light to be turned out so that I can see more, and I am looking forward to seeing everything, more than just the little flashes here and there when the Force chooses to illuminate them for me. That is awesome :)

    I'M a nice person, Renata. ;)

  2. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    That has to be torture for poor little kuibits
  3. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    I think Kiu found the message to be a bit of a relief really. I would have too, I think. I imagine that if you are old enough for your body to be giving out a bit, and you know that you will be able to see all when you join the Force, you wouldn't mind going to your end. As long as you think the all you are going to see will end up being positive. I'm not sure a seer would feel the same way if they were dying in the midst of the Jedi Purge for example. Unless they had gotten a stong sign or two of a more promising future.

    Sudden darkly farcical images of a blue ghosty theater full of blue ghosty jedi all watching Luke trying to redeem Anakin/Vader on the blue ghosty screen. Each one gripping the arms of his or her seat so tightly that indentations remain after the theater empties in groups of happily chatting blue ghosty Jedi. All of whom have to stop in the lobby for a moment to apologise to Yoda and Obi-Wan for thinking they were full of it when they said Luke could pull it off.

    I think I need more [face_coffee].

    KD
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  5. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Sorry, sorry, sorry! Have been busy doing mod-type duty with the Awards Ceremonies. None of us were actually needed, but we felt obligated to be on call. It all went very well, didn?t it? Kettch did a huge amount of work? as did certain people who contributed to the entertainment ( ;) at KD!)

    And thank you all for the nominations & votes! We won Best All Around, but we were the only nominee? Even so, it gives that nice warm glow. :D Love you all, even the Lurkers! @};- @};-

    I can?t think of anything to say. Except, ?hello Luney, Kitara, Ishtar & KD!? And Emma and Sarah_K and Furry and anyone else lurking out there. Sarah_K, did you read the story about the kitten rescued from the Gulf of Mexico? In other news, I bit the bullet & signed up for the community Gym! Exercise? ugh? But my HS reunion is coming up and I am determined to be down at least 15 lbs. by then! (25 would be even better)

    Okay. We?ll settle Kiu, then? and the next post is the conclusion!!!

    * * *

    "And he prepared for it." Mistress Corona indicated the neatly organized selection of equipment on the desk. "We need to pack all his recordings up and send them to the Temple. The Council of First Knowledge will want to look through everything."

    She reached back to the cart, unfolded one of the boxes, then set it down on the desk and turned around suddenly. "Kiu, if you have any more dreams or visions, you should record them as well."

    "Me?" asked Kiu, pulling her gaze up from the fascinating geometrical pattern of the carpet.

    "Yes, you. It's starting to look as though you're a Seer, just like Xieran. He might have had some advice for you." Mistress Corona sighed. "It's a pity you never had the chance to meet him."

    "Oh, but I did, Mistress Corona. In the south corridor, right before the gas attack. There weren't enough gas masks in the box to go around, so I got him one from the cafeteria, and then he told me -" Kiu shut her eyes briefly to help herself remember. "He told me to have faith in myself, to let the Force flow through me, and to see for myself what happens. To use my strengths."

    "He said it like that?" Mistress Corona asked, repeating the key phrase. "To see what happens?"

    "Yes. He was telling me that baby birds had to leave the nest eventually and that it was time for me to join the fight," Kiu said.

    "And ... what did you see?"

    "I saw that I wasn't as bad as I expected to be, but ... I didn't see the end of the battle or anything big like that," Kiu responded with a sigh. "Not that it would have -"

    She stopped in mid-sentence, feeling her cheeks start to burn, and tried frantically to change the subject. "Shall I pack up Master Xieran's clothing then?"

    Mistress Corona was not distracted. "Not that it would have made any difference? Is that what you were going to say?"

    "Yes," Kiu admitted. She reached for one of the boxes and began to unfold it, looking down at her hands so she wouldn't have to meet the Councilwoman's gaze.

    "Why would you say that?"

    "Because ... even if I'd seen something, it probably wouldn't have come true." Kiu heaved a great sigh, thinking back to all the dreams she'd had, and the events following each one.

    "You dreamed that Knight Pau found the cure."

    "Yes, but he didn't. Nobody found it. The healers only found out what the plague was, and how it was manufactured. As far as I've heard, there is no cure. So the vision was -" Kiu hesitated, not wanting to say the word "wrong," but not knowing what to put in its place.

    "It's my understanding that your dream helped the healers find out about the plague in the first place," Mistress Corona reminded her.

    "I suppose," Kiu said doubtfully, then added, "Master Tlatilco told me that his master's master used to say that the Force gave us just enough insight that we could figure things out on our own, with our own intelligence."

    "Well, he was right."

    For a moment, Kiu remained silent, but the frustration had been building up in her for several days now, and she
  6. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Yay, Kiu's going to get help! That was great, though I felt so sorry for her despondency.
  7. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I love how she thought Mistress Corona wasn;t as big as Hachas, but she was soft and comforting.
  8. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    One week to go! :)

    He was a Jedi, and the Order looked out for each other. But An-Taec was pretty determined to thank him.
    LOL I can imagine the look on her face, too.

    He gave her an appraising glance. "And I'm told you came in through the skylight? Now THAT'S an entrance!"
    LOL

    "It's going to sound horrible," she said, "and at the time I was so worried and upset, and all I could think about was how to get there, but... I enjoyed it. I really, really enjoyed it. For the first time in... oh, I don't know how long! I really felt... I dunno. Useful. Like I was doing something to make a difference. I can't describe it."
    Awww - I loved that bit. I think An-Taec is my favourite of the wives and I love the charaacter development you've shown us. :)

    "An older female," An-Taec said, standing up suddenly. She walked to the door, then turned around and gave him a final hint. "A blonder female."
    Great line. And Trett's reaction made me kinda wistful, but it was so realistic.

    "I rather liked it in the infirmary," Hachas replied contemplatively. "Nothing to do but rest, and be waited on hand and foot. Imagine my shock when they booted me out this morning before breakfast."
    LOL :) Dear old Hachas.

    The scene between Alta and Kiu was beautiful. I so enjoyed Alta's advice, and the piece about looking out from the lighted room was wonderful.

    CONGRATS FOR WINNING BEST ALL-ROUND!!!

    Of course I voted for you in quite a few other categories, too. :)

  9. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Just wanted to say a quick hi, and give everybody a great big thank you for thinking of our story during the awards process! :) And for every reply here, too, of course, which is more important. I'm having a fun and relaxing time here in Salt Lake City, but can only get on the computer for five minutes here and there, because of all the "competition." :)
  10. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    I'm here! ;)

    Aww Jane, you're less than an hour away from my wonderful self! ;)

    Love that post...Alta hugging Kiu was awesome, as well as her wondering why she had these visions, if they didn't help. Very good.

    Loved this paragraph: Sometimes you reacted too late to the training remote, and sometimes you reacted too early," Mistress Corona went on. "It took time to judge the right moment. It took time to understand that some of the moves you practiced were defense, and some were offense. Some combinations of moves were designed to give your partner the advantage. I can imagine that you're going through the same thing with these visions. Sometimes they come too late, or too early. Sometimes they're meant to give someone else an advantage. And sometimes you do everything right, but someone else - your partner or your opponent -- doesn't. The future is always in motion, Kiu. It depends on the decisions of everybody, not just you. If you've done all you can, then it's up to someone else." Excellent comparison, as well as advice. :)

  11. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    The bad news, my dears? this is the END. :_| The good news is that now Jane & I have more time to work on other stuff? :D I know Jane has a few bunies that she is fattening up, and now she?ll have time to give them some proper attention! And I have to say, it has been fabulous (if exhausting) trying to mesh our stuff, but I am really happy at the way this has turned out.

    Not much to say except THANK YOU to all the readers? Imzadi, Ty-Gon (wherever you are) Ishtar, Maija Darklighter, jodiwent, Black Scout, Lillith Demodae, Tahi, Lunetta, Hai Gan, Emma3Jane, dianethx, Padawan Kitara, Knight Dilletante, Sarah_K & of course Lucy! (And apologies to anyone I left out) I just love hearing your comments and speculations and I miss you when you?re not here. So accept a huge, HUGE virtual hug; you really make this all worthwhile! [:D]

    * * *

    It was hard to leave. It was a perfect autumn day, crisp but not cold, with the smell of leaves and earth heavy in the air, and the smell of ash fading. The leaves were beginning to turn. Life in the Chapter House was slowly settling back into its usual course. The construction droids were making great progress on restoring the damaged parts of the Chapter House. The wounded were healing. The great tapestries had been brought out again, and in the evenings the remaining Jedi enjoyed gathering around the racks to carefully put new stitches in them. And... Wiyella lingered over breakfast, smiling and nodding at the conversation of the others, unable to keep her eyes from straying to the man sitting almost across from her. She had stayed as long as she dared, but his injuries were healing well, and no longer justified her presence. And she had duties back at the Temple, other patients who needed her.

    Wiping her lips with her napkin, she bade farewell to her tablemates, and went to her rooms to retrieve her flightcase. There was virtually nothing she had to pack. Jedi traveled light, and she hadn't expected to make a long trip, as it was. Kemba was waiting.

    "Master Plo Koon took the Swanflight back," said the apprentice. "He'll return it to the Senator; he said we should just take the Delta fighters."

    "Fine," shrugged Wiyella.

    "Mistress...are you all right? You seem...upset."

    For a moment, the Jedi Healer stared out the window at the trees, noting the sprays of gold and russet among the green. "I'm fine," she said. "Just tired. It...it will be good to get back."

    She picked up the case and marched out the door, with Kemba on her heels. She was aware of her Padawan's thoughtful stare; it seemed to be boring a hole through her shoulder blades. Did Kemba suspect? How could she? I don't even want to admit it myself. I won't think about it. It's not important.

    As she approached the exit from the West Wing, she caught her breath. Trett was there, with his arms crossed across his chest, waiting for her.

    "I wanted to say goodbye," he said. "You left breakfast before I had a chance."

    "I'm sorry," she breathed. Force, her heart was racing! This was ridiculous. Wiyella took another deep breath to steady herself, deliberately avoiding her apprentice's eyes. "Walk us to the ships?"

    "Of course." He reached for her flightcase, but Wiyella gripped it.

    "I'll carry it. You need to rest."

    "I've been resting. If I lie in a bed any longer, I'll begin to mold."

    "Puncture wounds plus insect toxins equals rest and lack of exertion."

    "Like your case is ever that heavy."

    "I mean it!"

    Trett rolled his eyes, and glanced at Kemba, who shook her head and grinned.

    "You're not carrying mine, either," she said.

    "Healers are impossible," he said, falling into step beside them.

    Wiyella was conscious of his presence beside her, would have sworn she felt the warmth of his body, even though he wasn't actually touching her. She couldn't think what to say to him, didn't dare say what was in her heart. Even to herself, she didn't want to admit it. A Jedi may not know love. Say it enough, she might be able to
  12. Lilith Demodae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    *murmurs to self* I will not rant, I will not rant, Iwillnotrant...Okay, maybe just a little bit...

    The Jedi Order has stupid rules!


    I will not rant any more, I will not rant any more, Iwillnotrantanymore...



    Wonderful work, ladies! I enjoyed every word of it. Soooo, when's the next one starting? ;)
  13. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    ::GIGGLEGIGGLESNORTGIGGLEGIGGLESOB!:: It must have been love, but it's OVER NOW! That was such a cute ending!
  14. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  15. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    Whaaaa! :_| It's over! :_| Whaaaaaa! But there's so many people I still want to know stuff about! What happens to the Princess and her baby? Does Kiu manage to manage? Does Hachas still have a purple cape or did the nasty chemicals eat it up? What's going to happen with Rendell and Wiyella?

    I too loved Hachas' comment about the infirmary. I think he's insane if he really meant it, but then I could be confused about what it is like in a Jedi infirmary compared to a US hospital. Into one of which, if I never go again, it will still be too soon. Well, maybe insane is a bit strong. After all if you aren't in for too long and the staff are all nice it might not be so bad.

    I'm going to go through story withdrawal. And I'm really not happy [face_frustrated] about the whole Wiyella/Rendell/rules thing. I just think they are one of the pairs that could make it work you know?

    I think I'm getting the DTs already...

    KD
  16. padawan lunetta Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    Awwww sweet ending there, LOVED how she raised her hand to her lips! Trett was cute wanting to carry their bags. :D

    I too dislike love being forbidden, so sad...:( I like the way you work with it though. :)

    I'm going to go through story withdrawls too! Guess I'll have to read it over again, but it's just not the same! :*( ;)

    Excellent work ladies!

  17. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Oh, what a sad ending. Stupid rules!!!! I loved that she kissed the spot that he kissed. I repeat - stupid rules!

    Great job. Looking forward to new things!!!! Thanks for the rollercoaster ride.
  18. Knight_Dilettante Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    star 4
    I want an AU (if necessary) story where Renn and Wiyella get to at least acknowledge and maybe even enjoy being together for at least a while. What do I need to do to make that happen? Send brownies weekly? Do a page for page writing something you want? Buy you a kitty?

    And Jane, anything I can do to help the Hachas' cloak tale move along? Send brownies weekly? Write you a whatever-it-is-that-you-want?

    Did I already do this post? The deja-vu is sooooo strong on this one.

    KD
  19. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Aww, thanks you guys! I'm sure Rendell will be pleased to hear it, too; I know he's not happy about the rules (after all, it's not that he's COMPLETELY clueless...)

    Bribery, KD? Hmmm... I have indeed been thinking about these two. Nothing to put on paper... just... possibilities. We'll see where those bunnies take us!

    Thank you all for your comments; bittersweet endings can be kind of nice, if not as romantically satisfying as the full fade-out... [face_love]

  20. Black_Scout Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 10, 2003
    star 4
    Hi, sorry i haven't replied for ages, i've just finished school, and near the end of term i barely had time to breathe, let alone anything else. Anyway, Congradulations on finishing, i've loved all of it, i'll have to find something else to be semi-obssesed with now. This story was one of the only things i used to log on for (didn't have much time to look at anything else mind).
    Well good luck in any future things you write.

    Will you be writing any more An'Paj adventures? He really is my favourite OC ever!

  21. Sarah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2001
    star 4
    *rises from the depths, Frankenstein-like* I LI-I-I-I-IVE! Drama Camp hath spat me forth, only to be quartered and consumed by work! ...ew. I really need to work on my word imagery. [face_sick] The point is that I am still here, and I have finally gotten a chance to sit and read all [mumbles] never mind how many [/m] of your wonderful posts! *nods brightly... then stares* It's... OVER? Oh, I am SO sorry! I was trying to get this in long before you were even thinking 'the end', but leave it to me to bollix even that up... :rolleyes: Must make amends!

    Glad you're enjoying Salt Lake City, Jane! And congrats on biting the bullet, Renata. ;) As a fellow not-exercise-inclined gal, I can guarantee that making yourself do it will pay off -- I just wish you lived nearer to North Carolina! The thing that got me out of the house and into the local Curves was my mom started going; company makes it almost enjoyable. Only she's seriously pregnant now, and I don't have anyone to go with until November at the earliest.

    Lucy is pleased to see me back, I think -- though I'm pretty sure my bed was less dangerous a sleeping place when she was the only one in it... Fortunately, she wanted to get at your posts, so we had a handy trade-off. Even if she is about to kill me for getting us both in here this late... *ducks feline laser-glare*

    Farewell, Pau: Ever thorough, aren't you? I'm glad you decided to describe the funeral. Reading about people crying generally gets me started crying too (my absolute sympathies on that, Kiu), but it was very well written, and I had liked Pau a lot. Shall I say it again, though? Poor Kiu! Why do great honors hurt so often? :(

    Trett n' Taec: Good boy, Rendell -- staying in bed so as not to send your padawan to an early grave. :p I laughed so hard over The Beast! Fortunately, Lucy may be opinionated, neurotic, and otherwise, well, perfect (*wink*), but she's not a beast. I'm wondering if you've ever had a cat like that? I thought it was funny the way the cat finally warm up to Rendell when he was sick; my mom's mom used to have a cat with the same quirk. And in comes An-Taec! What is it about the two of them that seems to click? Perhaps it's because they have similar personalities. All except that I think only Taec would have the determination to go ahead and point out what everybody else saw a long time ago. "A blonder female." *splorfs* Ohgosh! [face_laugh] Is it too much to hope that Rendell will finally start leaving little love notes in Wiyella's teacups...? *reads further and sighs/moans deeply* Nope. Ah, well, I've already read Bound To Happen anyway... no real surprises there. *shaves carrots at Rendell* Sorry, Trett. We love you, but you're being a very foolish boy.

    I will certainly pray for Lauren! Already have, in fact, and will continue on.

    Kiu and Alta: *allows herself a moment to cluck humorously at poor Hachas, turned out of the infirmary* I liked how you described Master Xieran's apartment; in particular I felt his last holo recording was excellently written. You managed to give him an entire character, in spite of the fact that he only had one scene before he died. I think with some training Kiu will be quite able to someday fill a similar pair of shoes. If Hachas helps, then she'll probably have the quirkiest sense of humor of any Seer the Jedi have ever had... :p I'm glad the girl finally opened up and vented a few of her uncertainties. She couldn't take much more bottling up action. And have I already mentioned how much Alta reminds me of McGonagall? If I have, it bears repeating, especially for this scene. On the outside she is a tough, no-nonsense leader, and on the inside (as JK Rowling said of her Transfiguration teacher) she's an old softy. :D

    Nope, I didn't hear about the rescued kitten -- must have come up while I was gone! Where'd you hear about it? Lucy would like to take this cat-oriented minute to lodge a complaint. She finds it offensive that the only animals represente
  22. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    In answer to Knight_Dilettante's many questions, I have had some ideas for an epilogue, but I'm hesitant to promise anything. I've become quite lazy during the holidays and it's taking an effort to get back into my normal routine. I still haven't started writing yet.

    Never fear, however, Hachas' purple cloak came through unscathed! :)

    Will I be writing anymore An-Paj adventures? Right now, I don't know. I'll tell you something, though. While you guys are going through story withdrawal, I'll be going through reviews withdrawal! I don't know how I'll be able to survive without a few nice words every other day or so. :0 I do want to thank everybody who responded to this story: Imzadi, Ty-Gon Jinn, DarthIshtar, Maija Darklighter, jodiwent, Black_Scout, Lillith Demodae, Tahi, padawan lunetta, HaiGan, Emma3Jane, dianethx, PadawanKitara, Knight_Dilettante, Sarah_K and most especially Lucy! Thank you for your reviews, your comments, your noms, your votes ... everything! :)

    I also need to give a huge hug and a great big thank you to Renata, because this story would not have been possible without her! [:D] It's been a joy to write with you, and I'll miss our collaboration.
  23. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Hope you had a wonderful vacation. I know when I came back, I was quite lazy for a while but then I started to feel guilty about ignoring the computer. I'm sure you'll get back to writing and it will be better than ever.

    Thanks to you and Renata for a wonderful ride. Loved it!
  24. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Oh wow! That was beautiful - wistful and sadly romantic, but perfect. As someone also said - it matched the characters perfectly and stayed true to the hegemonic Jedi stance on love for that time.

    Quite true about bittersweet endings - they are satisfying in their own way. :)

    I've especially enjoyed seeing Kiu and Arwen develop and mature as they faced adversity. I think you've written them brilliantly. They are probably two of the best written characters I've read for a while - and that's in all fic, not just fanfic. :) They're so convincing and also interesting. You both have great empathy with your characters and I've really enjoyed the diversity and the way you've shown the young 'uns interacting with the older, experienced Jedi. I look forward to seeing further Hachas adventures should you write them. :) He's been a great favourite of mine.

    All in all - this has been a terrific story, and I'd like to thank you both for sharing it with us.
    Aroha
    Tahi

    PS: My little grandaughter arrived on Aug. 9th. She's absolutely beautiful. :)
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