Irreconcilable Differences

Or me and my girlfriend.

You see we had this problem, one that we couldn't get past. She wanted to cheat on me and I didn't want her to. I found this out one day when we were arguing.

We tried to work things out. I told her that I didn't want to be cheated on and she told me she didn't care. As much as we talked about it, nothing seemed to work. We were at an impasse. It was the longest single conversation of my life. It lasted for maybe a minute.

Then one moment in our conversation, it occurred to me how to fix the problem: I kicked her out of my life. I kicked her to the curb my friends.

That was a long time ago, but learn from my example.

Thank You and God Bless.

 

You couldn't have just kept her for a spare bed buddy?

 

No, I couldn't.

See, unlike many (most) men in my age group, I actually equate love and sex. I cannot have sex without love. I no longer loved the filthy strumpet, so how could I in good conscience continue to be intimate with her.

My good moral code keeps bringing me down.

[Edit: Spelling]

 

Hope to high heaven that you're not a councilor Wormie2.

`It was the longest single conversation of my life. It lasted for maybe a minute.'

I'm no great judge on relationships or character, but I think I see at least one problem there.

 

Uh huh....

self rightous indignition.

Strumpet?

 

Well the conversation went a little something like this, (and for a bit longer than a minute, I must confess):

Dirty Whore: (Other stuff not relatedto the cheating)...and oh yeah, I've been ******* your friend "Phil". What do you think about that?

Me: I think you should be gone by the time I get back.

 

*shakes head*

 

Did you ask her why? I'm always fascinated to see if the girl will tell the truth on this or not.

 

Going by that, I think the conversation went for too long as it did.

That time for you must have sucked.

 

Maybe living in my closet will make you feel better.

 

Well apparently he promptly fell out of love with her when she told him his pal is better in bed than he is so I'm guessing the dumping didn't bother him to much.

The blow to his ego....well, that's another story.

 

Well it wasn't the garden spot of my life, but it was a learning experience.

Wormie, it isn't slef-rightous indignation, but rather a need for loyalty. I was totally faithful to her and she wasn't to me. I refused to be in that kind of a relationship.

And after a while I did ask her (not for a very long time and because I needed to know) and she said "I never fell in love with anyone else and I needed to know I wasn't making a mistake with you."

My retort: "You let the best thing to every happen to you walk out of your life. I'd call that a mistake."

 

She sounds like me.

"I've never felt this way before. Is it real? Let's go screw it up and find out!"

Baggage is so much fun.

 

Interesting post-script to my sordid little tale.

When I did finally see her again (quite by accident) she suggessted that we get back togther because she knew then that I was"The One". I politely declined.

 

nice use of the word, "strumpet"



swizzard, the Iron Pope

 

I thought strumpet just fit so much better than Evil-She-Bitch-That-Tore-My-Still-Beating-Heart-Out-Of-My-Chest-And-Laughed-As-She-Threw-It-On-The-Ground-And-Stomped-On-It

 

By the way, I am in fact over this whole episode of my life.

I'm ready for a good woman. Not some disloyal slut...

...but I'm not bitter

 

I read this and I'm reminded of the immortal words of Norm Peterson.

Women. Can't live with them.......pass the beer nuts.

 

Isn't he dead?

 

No, that was Coach who died.

That and Ted Danson's career.

 

Hey Wormie...

Why did you mention my ego a while back? Just curious since I never really thought about that excpet for the "why was I so easy to cheat on? Is there something wrong with me?" stuff.

 

Slacker, I think your ex-girlfriend and my ex-boyfriend should get together. They seem to have the same ideas about relationships.

 

If there is one thing I absolutely cannot stand it is disloyalty.

If you are going to be with someone, then be with just them.

If you have doubts, talk them over, or walk, but don't cheat.

 

As soon as she even brought up the fact that she was considering cheating on her you should have shown her the door, dude. Never take back one who has cheated on you. I never understood people who forgave something like that. Once they have broken your trust, that's it; and if they cheat on you once they will do it again, my friends.

 

She told me and I said "Be gone when I get back" and left for a week.

See above for the partial transcript