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Saga 'Is there life out there?' *Clone Wars: Ahsoka Fiction*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by BloodRaven77, Mar 1, 2009.

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  1. BloodRaven77

    BloodRaven77 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2005
    I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place but...here it goes.

    Title: Is there life out there?
    Fandom: Star Wars: Clone Wars
    Characters: Ahsoka, Rex
    Genre: War, tragedy, friendship, angst
    Beta: A huge thank you to Cariel for beta reading this for me =D
    Author?s notes: This was inspired by Fialleril?s series titled Nervous Conditions.
    Ratings & Warnings: PG *dark themes*
    Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it.
    Summery: As the heady rush of battle wanes, Ahsoka contemplates the future and life beyond the war.

    Ahsoka did not allow herself to think about what she was doing as she destroyed the droid soldiers. Nor did she allow herself to acknowledge their dying Force signatures, how their fading requiems sounded so similar to that of a sentient being. Denial enabled her to embrace the battle and to make the victory hers.

    Only when the last droid fell to the ground did the pungent stench of acrid smoke reach her nostrils, permitting reality to set in. The emptiness that followed was almost all-consuming. Ahsoka suddenly wondered what would become of all of them after the war. Was there life beyond the heady rush of battle or the savouring sense of empowerment that came with victory?

    Her master?s stormy blue eyes met her own and Ahsoka knew she was not the only one who feared the end. He would never speak of it, and neither would she. Doing so meant having to admit things Ahsoka was not ready to accept.

    From the distance, she heard Captain Rex telling the men that it was over. Her master promptly ordered the man to pack it in. Ahsoka responded without hesitation. The clean up provided the perfect distraction from her thoughts.

    While the bodies remained behind, their memories lingered in her thoughts, haunting her with questions she could not fully understand. She wished she could talk to someone, anyone at all. Despite her young age, Ahsoka knew she was changing and it was not for the better. Though her fellow Jedi never spoke of it, she could see in their eyes that they were very aware of her transition.

    In the past, their unspoken accusations had hurt, now it just frightened her. Before the war there was no question in her mind about where she stood; she was one of them, a noble Jedi warrior, a good person. However, the war redefined everything that the Order supported and believed, permitting even the most noble of warriors to cross lines they normally would never, and should never, cross.

    Everyone had their own way of handling the guilt, silencing the nagging voices of their conscience that belied the propaganda which promoted victory above all else. Ahsoka, too, did her best to bury her doubts, to imagine it away. It was easier to pretend that it was not real than to face the facts. Yet, as time passed and the stakes of the battles grew, she found it increasingly difficult to convince herself that the Jedi were all that they should be, that she was the Jedi she should be. If she was not one of them anymore, then what was she? More importantly who was she?

    Her eyes scanned the battlefield and in the distance, she saw Chopper carefully rifling through the dead, collecting droid digits. He was discreet about it, but not enough for her to miss. Ahsoka sensed him avoiding her gaze and immediately realized that she was doing the same.

    Where do men like him go in times of peace, she wondered sadly. How does one survive the quiet times, the peaceful years, when death and war is that one has ever known in life?

    A heavy hand fell to her shoulder, causing her thoughts to immediately clear. It is only then that Ahsoka realized that she had been standing motionless in the midst of the carnage for some time.

    ?You OK, kid??

    Her cheeks burned while her heart raced both in fear and in shame. She wanted to tell the captain about her fears, the doubts that robbed her of rest, but she did not. Reminded of her master?s actions, his brooding silence, Ahsoka forc
     
  2. GuNgAnFaN3090

    GuNgAnFaN3090 Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 16, 2008
    I really liked it! =D= =D= It made me think, which I don't do very often. :p Great job, it was very good.

    =D= =D=
     
  3. JediMasterAmanda

    JediMasterAmanda Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2005
    well it's interesting and really good. a job well done. =D=
     
  4. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    That was a wonderful look into Ahsoka's mind.

    It is going to be OK...everything is going to be fine. I?m OK. I?m going to be all right

    I believe she will, though she will be forever changed by her experiences.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  5. BloodRaven77

    BloodRaven77 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2005
    Aww thank you Gunganfan ^^ I'm so glad you enjoyed it despite its rather dark concepts *Blushes* I got to say your fic was really adorable! I just love anything that involves Rex and Ahsoka's friendship <3
     
  6. BloodRaven77

    BloodRaven77 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2005
    *blushes* Thank you so much Amanda I'm glad you enjoyed this tale =D
     
  7. BloodRaven77

    BloodRaven77 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2005
    Thanks so much Kelia! ^__^ I'm so glad it worked out ^^ I was really nervous about how mature or naive to make Ahsoka, as the age range I've seen pertaining to her varies from 11-17 years old (Lucas says 11, Karen Tarviss says 14 and the Wookie says she's about 16-17) o_O
     
  8. JediMasterAmanda

    JediMasterAmanda Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2005
    in the movie she is 11 hence why everyone calls her a youngling in it.
     
  9. BloodRaven77

    BloodRaven77 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2005
    Oh i see but in the cartoon series her age kinda ranges depending on the time line?
     
  10. JediMasterAmanda

    JediMasterAmanda Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2005
    yeah, probably by the time RotS comes along she'll be 13 or 14. depends on how many years are between AOTC and RotS and how much time had passed already when Ahsoka came into the pic.
     
  11. Jedi_Master_Cazz

    Jedi_Master_Cazz Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 13, 2005
    Perfect Ahsoka! It really is sad, that all the Jedi younglings have been taught, which they cling very strongly to, because it's all they have ever known, is being compromised in the war. I think all the Jedi where aware of this, but they were all confused in a way, and couldn't work it out properly.

    Great vigg, well done!
     
  12. BloodRaven77

    BloodRaven77 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2005
    Thank you so much I'm really glad you liked this tale ^^ I was nervous about my portrayal of Ahsoka so its such a relief to know I had portrayed her properly *blushes*

    I know what you mean though about the jedi and the lessons taught to the children. They're already so naive and vulnerable, questioning everything around them. To place them in the battlefield, to expose them to such violence and darkness...well I'm surprised that not more jedi fell to the Dark side =(

    Thanks again for reading my tale and for the review =D
     
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