Is This All There Is To Love? or I Love You But ... ( An Obi and Jemmy Story)

I posted this very late last night so I thought I would up it.

 

Very dark. Very complex. I liked Mind Healer Del, though.

 

*shudder*

Obi, come here. I'm not going to hurt you, really. Just a hug. See? Better? Get mentally and physically well so everyone can torture you some more!

 

Woah!

 

And when he does, can of whoop a$$ we will open upon him

I must admit this story is rather disturbing, but very well written.

An excellent literary work. I can't wait to read more.

 

I've been busy the last few days and haven't had much time for writing. But I did want to remind people of something I said before. No matter how many horrible things we put Obi-Wan through he over comes them and goes on to teach Luke. I'm back at work now so I'm back to the one hour a day for writing.

 

"My this is an impressive assembly." An-Paj joked as he and Bant came in the room. He nodded to the masters. "I want to take a look at Obi-Wan. Don?t give me that look young man. I?ve seen Bant?s report but I want to see for myself before I approve completely her suggestion for treatment. Bant will stay Obi-Wan but everyone else out. Qui-Gon I?m ordering you to go home and get some real sleep. Unless you or the other masters would like to get your yearly physicals over with this morning. Simeon is free."

"Busy I am but, Master Windu free is." Yoda said scurrying out the door.

Before Mace could object An-Paj called out the door. "Simeon, take Master Windu to an examining room where he can strip down. Then pull his chart and give him a ?COPMPLETE? and ?THUROGH? physical."

"Right this way, Master Windy, I mean Master Windu."

"That little troll is going to pay for this." Mace grumbled.

{After his ?PHYSICAL? Mace stopped and made an appointment for Master Yoda to have his yearly physical done by Ferdi Xadaani. A healer known for her thoroughness when it came to her duties as a healer. Walking away Mace was careful to keep his shields up. He didn?t want Yoda to know what he had done. Not until Ferdi sent the "Jedi Healer Police Squad" as they were affectionatly called; after the green little troll; to bring him in for his physical. Still the tall dark skinned master couldn?t keep the Grinch like smile off his face as he left the infirmary.}

"And just what are you waiting around for Qui-Gon?" The blue skinned healer asked.

"For you to explain what Bant needs your approval for. It isn?t like this is the first time he has been through this. We know the recommended treatment. Bant?s examined him already today. I don?t want him going through all those flash backs again. It?s too hard on him."

"Obi-Wan!" An-Paj put his hands on the sides of Obi-Wan?s face. Looking the young man in the eyes he commanded. "SLEEP!" Obi-Wan closed his eyes instantly. Not removing his hands the healer added, "Deeper. That?s good. You will not wake up until I command you to. Bant, explain your idea to Qui-Gon while I take a look at Obi-Wan."

When An-Paj finished he shook his head. "I would really like to get a rectal probe made for a Wookie or better yet a Hutt or Rancore up that bastard?s?"

"Master An-Paj!" Bant said in shock.

An-Paj had his own unique personality. Often he was accused of enjoying his work too much. Especially when it came to treating Obi-Wan. But in his own way An-Paj cared deeply for every patient he treated. Most of the time An-Paj kept his master healer façade in place. But once in a great while it would slip.

"I?ve seen Obi-Wan injured over the years for a number of reasons." An-Paj said barely controlling his anger. "His own miscalculation. Some joke Simeon or Jay played that went wrong. Jemmy?s hit him more times with more things than I can count. It?s not unusual for him or you Qui-Gon to return from a mission with some injury received in the line of duty. Not to mention as a child Obi-Wan was always trying to do things that were beyond the limits of his age group. He was in such a hurry to grow up." A memory brought a smile to An-Paj?s face. "Then there were a couple of years that Obi-Wan developed an obsession to tackle Master Yoda. But this injury has to be..." The healer stopped searching for the words he wanted. "You know I don?t have the words to describe it."

An-Paj began pacing back and forth. "I don?t know what the other healers said to you Qui-Gon but I don?t mind telling you that before he attacked Obi-Wan we had a string of apprentices in here of the same injuries. They were all between the ages of 15 and 17 and all too terrified to tell us who it was. The first thing they did was shower after the attacks. From others I saw over a 3 year period I think there were more than the ones that came in with injuries."

"You think he was giving them a Force suggestion so the evidence would be washed away?"

"I have n

 

This is where my story conects to Jane Jinn's What Is In A Name? The link is:

http://houshin.net/jalibrary/journals/what_word1.html

I will pick up my story or start a new thread at the end of her story. Which should I do?

 

Just continue your story here, I think it would be easiest.

 

Hmm, I think I read that one a long time ago . . . I'll have to refresh my memory!

 

pick it up here!

 

we need more. up!

 

PART 2


The first thing they did on their arrival at the Temple was head for the infirmary. Qui-Gon could have let Obi-Wan take Tai?hal for treatment but he wanted to be sure his apprentice was treated as well. Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan wouldn?t tell the healers about his leg. Tai?hal had mended it for the most part but there were still some rough edges where she had knitted to bones together. Obi-Wan?s back still needed bacta strips on the deeper lashes to finish healing. Qui-Gon also wanted to talk to An-Paj personally about accepting Tai?hal as a trainee. Then there was also the problem of where Tai?hal was going to stay.

The problem of a place for Tai?hal to live until she and Obi-Wan were married was solved the minute Qui-Gon saw Leona.

"It?s no problem. She is welcome to stay with us. In fact I really want to get to know someone who can help Obi-Wan move on from Jemmy." Leona stopped and thought a moment. "They have broken up officially, haven?t they? I talked to Jemmy last week. She?s off on the swoop circuit now. She said to tell the both of you hello and something about she?d try to get a post card off to you soon. I would have expected her to be more upset than she was. Oh, she also asked if Obi-Wan got the divorce papers."

"Yes he got the divorce papers." Qui-Gon shook his head. "She promised to write me over a month ago. The night Obi-Wan was hurt." Now Qui-Gon took a minute to think. "You know I don?t know if Obi-Wan told her he didn?t want things to continue the way they were between them. I know he called her a few times before we were sent out but I don?t think he actually talked to her. He left messages for her to contact him with her aunt and uncle I know."

"Well, it could be she wants out of the relationship and doesn?t want to say it. They have such a long history and do love each other but like you?ve said before it?s like mixing oil and fire. Plus Rela and Dimallie told me Jemmy still thinks she?s a jinx. That anyone who cares too much for her will die. I wish that girl would talk to a mind healer."

"So do I. I know some have tried to reach out to her. They can sense the deep pain in her. But Jemmy just wont let them in." Qui-Gon smiled. "Even young Toms has tried to reach out to her as a friend and fellow Corellian. She told him to back off trying to analyze her. Being Corellian could only get him so far."

"You know I would certainly like to be there when Jemmy finds out Obi-Wan is getting married."

Qui-Gon laughed and wrapped an arm around Leona. "You wont have to. If she doesn?t like the idea you will be able to hear her curse him out half way across the Galaxy. Come on I?ll introduce you to the girl in Obi-Wan?s dreams." He looked down at the woman he loved. "You wouldn?t be wanting out of our relationship would you and just not want to say it."

"No! What made you ask that? Oh because of what I said about Jemmy. You don?t want out do you?"

"No you are the woman of my dreams. I am very happy with the way things are."

"Me too."

They took the time to exchange a long kiss.

Qui-Gon smiled at her. "Speaking of dreams ?."

 

Bant had taken Tai?hal into a treatment room immediately. Qui-Gon held a quick conference with An-Paj. Then he left to find Leona.

"Go with An-Paj, Padawan. I expect to find you here waiting for me when I get back."

"But, Master, it wont take An-Paj that long to treat me. Why don?t I just go get Tai settled in our place."

"Because she isn?t staying at OUR place until after you're married."

"We can take care of that first and meet you there. All we have to-"

"We will talk later. First get your injuries taken care of." Qui-Gon said firmly.

Obi-Wan gave up. He knew that tone meant no more arguing.

"Yes, Master."

An-Paj was impressed with Tai?hal?s abilities. "You say you taught yourself young lady?"

"Yes Sir."

"Be here day after tomorrow at 9:00 A.M. I wont be in myself till that late. We will see what else you have learned on your own. You obviously have a natural talent. I?m glad you came here. We can always use another healer. Though why you want to marry this fugitive from the infirmary is beyond me. You will probably see him more when you are on duty than off. Though maybe living with a healer in residence might keep him our of here. So are you marrying Jemmy at the same time?"

Obi-Wan blushed and looked a little shocked. "Jemmy and I aren?t together anymore."

"Really? Does she know it?"

"Who?s Jemmy?" Tai?hal broke in.

"My old girlfriend."

"You mean you haven?t told your future wife about Jemmy yet?"

"I really haven?t had a chance." Obi-Wan said uncomfortably.

"Haven?t had a chance or haven't made the time?" An-Paj shook his head. "Looks like you?ve got a lot of explaining to do. I would advise you to start talking. I on the other hand have to get back to my duties. Don?t forget young lady day after tomorrow be here. Obi-Wan I want to talk to you alone a minute. I don?t know how all this happened I expect to hear all about it later. Your fiancée is very lovely. Stop hiding her under cloths that are too big. Even if she decides not to marry you she needs her own cloths. She?s not a Jedi don?t dress her like one. One thing I know about women is that they like to look pretty."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. "You think she wont want to marry me after I tell her about Jemmy?"

An-Paj took pity on the young man. "No I think she is very much in love with you. But this place is knew to her. I?m sure she will make friends quickly. She seems to be a bright and caring person." An-Paj nodded his head to where Tai?hal was sitting. Next to her was a young padawan who?s master was severely injured. She sat listening to the boy express his fears. Tai?hal didn?t say much. When the boy was allowed to go into his master it was with hope on his face not the doubt that had been there earlier. "Like I said she has a natural talent and patience?s." Now Tai?hal was sitting an older Jedi who had wandered out of the assisted care center. She had been a healer. At 400 she would forget she was retired. A care taker came quickly to take the elderly Jedi back home and Tai?hal moved on to talk with someone else. "What I am trying to tell you is women need to feel that they look nice."

"She looks beautiful to me no matter what she wears."

"I?m glad to hear that. Make her feel beautiful. See that she gets some cloths that show off her physical beauty. She has a nice figure and I know she is uncomfortable about her hair."

"They cut it off as part of her banishment."

"I thought as much."

"I know you mean well but I don?t think her clothes and hair are that important to her."

"In some ways no they aren?t. But she is female and to some degree they matter to all women."

"I want her to be happy. The only man I know who knows more about women than you is Master Berlingside. Perhaps I should consult him?"

"Dex? Dex is an amateur compared to me. Making love to more than one woman is nothing compared to keeping 6 women happy and at peace with each other even if they are sisters. In fact the sibling rivalry between my wifes

 

Truer words were never spoken, An-Paj. You tell Obi-Wan all about it. I loved that little speech that An-Paj made to Tai about her seeing more of Obi-Wan while she's on duty than when she's off. And An-Paj knowing all about clothes and hair was good, too.

I like the way Obi-Wan wanted to get Tai settled in his and Qui-Gon's quarters and Qui-Gon had to correct him as to where Tai would be staying.

Keep writing!

 

Yipes, An-Paj has really got a mouth, doesn't he?

 

Obi-Wan continued to watch Tai?hal. When the person she was sitting next to was called she moved to someone else. It wasn't long before the waiting area was empty of patients. Things had calmed down for at least a few minutes. Obi-Wan went over and sat next to his fiancée.

"How are you feeling Tia, my taedano?"

"Fine. A little tired." She smiled at Obi-Wan. "I'm not your beloved wife yet but I can't wait to be."

"Me too. That is I can't wait to be your beloved husband. Tia'hal?"

"Yes Ben."

"I've been watching you help some of the people here. I know you said you wanted to change your name. But I'm really not comfortable with anyone else calling you beloved wife."

"Your not?"

Obi-Wan stroked her cheek. "No. I know it hurts you because your father named you "Hope-Son. Because he was disappointed you weren't a boy. Something I'm very happy you are not." Tai'hal blushed at the remark. "But I think the name suits you." Tai'hal's face fell and she looked down at the floor fighting back tears. Obi-Wan lifted her chin to look at him. "It's just that your father made a mistake in the spelling of your name. Instead of son being spelled S O N I think it should have been spelled S U N. You certainly have brought the light of hope to everyone you talked to since we arrived here. Is that Hope-Sun said and spelled differently in your language?"

"It's spelled the same but said differently." Tai'hal said her name both ways. In Hope-Son the tone of "hal" was said on was low. The way it was said actually made you feel sad and hopeless. In Hope-Sun the tone "hal" was said on was a high note. It made you feel encouraged and hopeful.

"If you want to change your name you can. But I really do think the name Hope-Sun says a lot about who you are. You certainly have brought sunshine to my life, my future taedano."

Tai'hal thought a few minutes. She leaned her head against Obi-Wan's shoulder and let her tears fall.

"Are you in pain? Do you want me to get An-Paj?"

"No. The kind of pain I am feeling at the moment can't be cured by a healer. It's just I miss my f-f-father and the rest of my family. It hurts so much that he turned away from me."

"Your home is here with me now. As far as family goes there are the Masters, the knights, the padawans, the initiates and the babies in the nursery. Is that enough family for you?"

Tai'hal couldn't help but laugh a little. But she grew sad again. "I'm sorry I was such a disappointment for him."

"He didn't see what he had in you. You are worth a 1000 sons. I can't say anything against him. I didn't see how beautiful you were either. Yet I have to tell you I feel anger at him because he should have listened to you."

"Oh my Ben, don't be angry at my father you don't know how important a son is in my cul - the culture I used to be a part of. Everything depends on having a son." She was quiet for a moment. "I don't think they know I know this. But my mother was pregnant at least 2 or 3 times after my youngest sister was born. All the children died. I think they were boys. The oldest lived a few days so I remember him and how ill my mother was even though I was very young, 3 maybe 4. The others were still born. Each time she almost died. She wanted so much to give my father a son she was willing to risk her life.

After the last birth it was late at night I was suppose to be asleep. I wanted to see her breathing to know she was alive. The door to my parents room was open a crack. My mother looked like she was asleep." Tia'hal closed her eyes as she told Obi-Wan what she had seen.

 

Awww, how sweet, Obi-Wan giving her the name Hope-Sun.

 

The healer and his assistant were still there. "I'm telling you Bodar if El'leat conceives again I do not think she will survive. She was lucky to survive having Parwat. Your 3rd and youngest daughter. El'lest loses too much blood durring childbirth. It gets worse each time. With each child she carries the risk grows greater she will die. It is your choice. Be thankful for a wife who loves you as much as you love her. Have her here in this world to stand and sleep by your side until you are old and gray. Let your daughters be raised by their mother. Healthy daughters, I might add, with no physical imperfections. Something else to be thankful for. Or keep trying to have the son you want so much. I could not have saved this son. El'leat's body for some reason will not support a male child. It may be genetic. If I remember right El'leat's history says her mother died giving birth to her brother. I don't have her mother's health history. It was lost. But you must chose." The Healer stopped and stared at Bodar a moment. "Of course you could marry again after El'leat's death. Perhaps another wife could give you a son. Is that what you want?"

Bodar looked at the healer in shock. "How can you say such a thing? I can not imagine my life without El'leat." Bodar looked at his pale wife. "After her mother's death her father remarried. Her step-mother could not touch her brother or be cruel to him. But for El'leat life was not pleasant." The healer noticed Bodar shudder. Something the healer saw rarely in the men of Pira'a. Never had he seen the head of a house react this way.

The healer ventured. "She has scars she said she received in an accident."

Bodar look at the healer. "Yes, but not all the scars are accidental. El'leat was in a serious accident when she was 18. That is how we met. I helped rescue her. She was not breathing when we pulled her from the wreckage. I helped with the CPR. After she opened her eyes she would not let go of my hand. Her first concern was not how she was but how the others were."

"Yes I remember now. Everyone else in the coach died. Including her full brother."

Bodar nodded. "She was terrified so I stayed with her all the way to the hospital. We have been together ever since. I was very despondent. The woman I had wanted to marry, my father did not want me to marry. He made the appeal for me anyway. She and her family rejected our offer. El'leat took my mind off myself. I do not want to risk her life again. She told me she was using something to prevent conception. I did not expect her to conceive this child nor the last."

"I suggest you do something yourself to prevent another pregnancy if you want your wife to live to see her children grown.

"Bodar?" El'leat spoke weakly from the bed.

"My taedano, we thought you were sleeping."

"I know. Bodar I will grow strong and we will try again for a son."

"No my dear, the doctor is right. We have 3 healthy daughters. We will have to be content with them. I fear for Tai'hal though she looks too much like me. What man will want her I do not know. Perhaps she will grow to look more like her mother in time."

El'leat looked away from her husband. "If you wish you can file for divorce. We have been married 10 years and I have not given you a son. I would not contest it. I have not fulfilled the marriage contract. You have every right to put me aside. The girls and I could move to the cottage by the lake. You could see them as often as you like. You can marry another who can give you an heir."

Bodar sat down and took his wife's hand. "Oh my beloved, what have I done to you?"

"You?" El'leat looked at Bodar in surprise.

"For you to want to leave me I must have hurt you?"

"You have done nothing to hurt me. I do not want to leave you. But I know others talk and often speak of poor Bodar who has a wife that can not bare him a son. If you wish to chose a better wife-"

"There could be not better wife. Your step-mother has been saying cruel thi

 

Awwww . . .

I'm so happy for both. That was a good story. I remember it I still want to see Jemmy's reaction. She should be pretty upset that she let someone like Obi slip through her fingers.

 

how sweet!

 

"Wow." Obi-Wan said in awe.

He and Tai had kissed for awhile on the way to Coruscant. Kissing intensely was knew to Tai. Obi-Wan had had to keep his shields up and not reach out with the Force with Jemmy. Jemmy had hated it when he "got inside her head" as she called it. But now more sure of each other both had shared images of their past and hopes for the future. Though Obi-Wan being a Jedi could keep some things hidden from Tai. The various types of abuse he had suffered Obi-Wan didn't want to hit her with all at once. Besides the fact it was knew to have someone in love with him who wanted to know everything about him. There was much to learn about each other.

"Ahem." Qui-Gon interrupted the couple before they could start kissing again. "Tai'hal this is Healer Leona. You will be staying with her until you and Obi-Wan are married."

"But we want to get married now." Obi-Wan objected.

"You both want to get married now?" Qui-Gon inquired.

Tai'hal nudged Obi-Wan. "Ben I can't get married like this. Please. I'm a mess." At his hesitation she added. "Please Ben. I know I'm no great beauty like your old girlfriend but I at least would like to be in clothes that fit. A dress that fit. No woman from my home ? well I just want to look nice. So people wont say: What ever made him marry her?"

"Tai you are beautiful no mater what you wear." Then remembering An-Paj's advice Obi-Wan conceded. "We can wait until you feel you are ready. Master, Tai isn't going to change her name. Instead Tai has changed the pronunciation of her name." Obi-Wan said her name the new way. "It means Hope- s u n not Hope- s o n."

"I like it Tai'hal. It is what I felt about you even before we met." Qui-Gon said.

"Well, Tai'hal," Leona said making sure she said the name right. "Let's get you to our place so you can get a hot shower."

"Are you married Healer Leona?"

"No. Oh! When I said our place you thought I had a family. In away I do. My padawan Dimallie lives with me still. Though she soon will be taking her final trails, too. Just call me Leona. Healer Leona is too formal."

"I don't think it's fair healers graduate before the combat knights." Obi-Wan complained.

"They have 10 years more training before they are given Master Healer status. Once you are knighted your training is over for the most part. Would you like us to add another 10 years to your training?" Leona asked. Knowing Obi-Wan was really grubbleing because he wasn't going to get what he wanted tonight.

"No ma'am." Obi-Wan replied quickly.

"Then don't complain. Come along Tai'hal we will stop and get you out fitted as a healer on the way to my apartment. Then I would say that shower and a trip to the hair dressers is in order."

"Are the hair dressers here in the Temple?" Tai'hal wanted to know.

"No I go to one near by though and there are 2 or 3 shops that are near too we can check them out tonight for the other clothes you need right away. We can plan a whole day of shopping for another time."

"I don't know." Tia'hal once more self-consciously fingered her unevenly shorn hair. Pulling on the long strands they hadn't been able to cut off because she would not bow her head. "What if someone from Pria'a sees me they will demand I leave what ever store we are in. The store owners will be in trouble. Beggars can't shop in respectable places. It isn't allowed."

"Tai, you are not a beggar. You are my wife." Obi-Wan couldn't help but cry out.

"Not yet I'm not." The girl was shaking. "You said you were surprised I wanted to marry you. But I am the one who isn't fit for marriage. Maybe you should patch things up with your old girlfriend. She is not an outcast. She has a name."

Leona wrapped an arm around the frightened girl. "Shh Tai'hal. I can see you are going to feel at home with Dimallie and I. We both have felt unworthy of love in the past." Leona smiled at Qui-Gon. "And sometimes in the present. You are not under the laws from your old planet here. You can g

 

LOL at the lovebirds!!

 

Sweet! Obi-Wan wanting to get married right away, Leona recognising that Obi-Wan was irritable because he wouldn't be getting what he wanted that night, Qui-Gon pulling Obi-Wan away from Tai by his arm!

Leona is just the right person to help Tai!

 

Tai'hal had to admit she felt better after a hot shower and putting on clothes that fit. Her hair was still a disaster even after washing it. She ran a comb through it quickly and didn't spend too much time looking in the mirror. Seeing herself this way brought too many images of her banishment. When she came out of the refresher Leona and Dimallie, yes that was the younger woman's name, were putting hot dishes on the table.

"Well, we timed that just right." Leona gave the girl a bright smile. "Come and eat Tai'hal and then we will head out. I guess we should tell you about ourselves. Or do you have any questions you need answered right away?"

"I have a lot of questions. I don't know where to begin." Tai'hal looked at the food on the table. "Do you have certain customs or manners that I need to know? What are these foods? I've never seen them before." The girl blushed wondering if she had insulted her hosts. "It all smells good. Is there a certain order or way they are eaten?"

Dimallie and Leona shared a smile and laugh.

"We're sorry Tai'hal." Dimallie said in apology. "When we started to fix the meal we wondered what you were used to eating. We didn't think to ask you if there were any foods you were allergic too or forbidden to eat."

"Then we didn't know about interrupting you in the shower. How you would feel about that." Leona added. "So we stuck with things that are considered fairly generic in most the Galaxy. This is a basic salad. The greens are grown on a near by planet. It's high in fiber and calcium. This it a pasta and sauce that are made on Romana. The bread is made here on Courscant. There is a bakery that makes various breads native to different planets. There is no real order to eat any of this in. So dive in. Uh ? I mean start eating."

"I would like to know about you both. How did you meet?" Tai'hal inquired.

As they ate and cleaned the dishes up they learned about each other. Tai'hal like she said have many questions. Some even about Obi-Wan. They had one about Obi-Wan too.

"Why are you calling Obi-Wan, Ben like Jemmy does?" Dimallie asked. Then at the look on Tai'hal's face wished she hadn't.

"His old girlfriend called him Ben, too? Why?"

Obviously this was something Obi-Wan hadn't told his fiancee.

"She gave him the nickname years ago. Something to do with a traditional Corellian character." Leona answered.

"I call him Ben because it means husband. His name in my native tongue sounds like garbage heap." Tai'hal explained.

"Are you serious?" Leona and Dimallie couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes."

"I know why he likes you to call him Ben then. It's kind of funny the name does seem to suit him." Dimallie said. Looking a the young woman who seemed suddenly sad she added. "What is it Tai'hal? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by mentioning Jemmy."

"It's not you. I mean you didn't hurt my feelings. I knew he was in love before me. I would have been surprised if he hadn't been. It's mostly me. My emotions feel like they are on a roller coster ride. Seems one minute I feel happy and content to know I am going to marry Ben. The next I become afraid he wont want me when he knows me better. And I ? "

"And you miss your home."

"Yes. Sometimes in the last few days I have wondered if this or I am real. If it all isn't a story someone is writing."

"Stress and pain can make anyone feel disconnected." Leona said. "We have mind and soul healers here to help us when we feel that way."

"Jedi feel this way?"

"Tai'hal I sure you don't know everything about the Jedi and what we go through. I bet Obi-Wan is wondering about your still wanting to marry him when you hear of some of the tortures he and others have gone through."

"He took my beating for breaking my marriage contract for me. All but the 2 lashes I got. He's been beaten other times?"

"Yes but you really should talk to him." Leona looked a Tai'hal. She could sense the girl's pain at the idea of Obi-Wan being hurt. "I know one th