Indi, IN it is friday night and life is dim...

i just want to rant...
i feel like crap and i need to let some things out.
i think that this is the best place to do this. for i know i have friends here.
you will listen...

it is friday night and I am at home. today i have felt so out of place like i do not belong...
i do not know, life just seems dim...
i feel like a stranger who has just walked into a room where nobody turns to look.
thoughts have been creeping into my mind...
i have been thinking about my life. i feel that it is hollow.
if i were to go away, would anyone realize it? probably not.
i am just one person, one person that the world does not even think twice about.
i cannot put my finger on why, but i am depressed...
...very depressed.
i do not know why life seems dim to me. it just does.
i need to go, get out of here, find out why i feel the way i do.
maybe tomorrow will be better.
if not... i do not know... i just need to take one day at a time until things look brighter.

*in case if anyone is wondering, no i am not drinking... i could but i won't.

 

Hey Binks, wife-san say you could come over and hang out and talk or watch a movie with us if you want. We are not exactly the "Slosh Council" but if you want,I do believe I have a bottle of wine nicely chilled as well as a few pints of Guiness about. Just give us a call if you don't get a better offer.

 

Oh now because someone thinks I am lying they have to go all over the boards and say so. I am not lying. Never had, never will to the group or anyone else. It is hurtful that anyone would even think that I am lying.
I have done nothing but be an honest helpful person. If **** like this is going to start I think the president needs to put a stop to it.
This past month things have gotten very ugly on these boards. Things were said that were very hurtful. I think it is time that everyone stops all the ******** and get back on track.

 

Binks I will give you a call and discuss this matter.

If anyone has a complaint about a post, sock or members please e-mail me and Whojedi and we will take care of it.

 

it is not just with the Indy Knights and the IK forums. There are somethings over at Bloodfin as well.

I am starting to break and I cannot take it anymore. things are going too far.

I am starting to feel that I am no longer welcome as an Indy Knight.

 

Ok I have talked to many people today about getting some things straightened out within the Indy Knights.

I was told by some today that I am a valued member of the Knights. If it were not for me many things would of never have been accomplished. I guess I did not see that. I do, do a lot for the Knights.

When I had problems with some members I did not ask for help when dealing with them. I confronted them myself but it did not always work out for the better. Things did get worse at times.

I was told that the Knights are a group and if one valued member is having a problem then the group is having a problem. I was told I need to go to the top and have things straightened out so things can be better for all.

I guess with all the stuff that has been going on with the forums, jokes, flame wars, ect. I took it too personal. I tried to be a good sport about it and kept my true feelings hidden. I could of let someone know how I was feeling. For when I sat down and thought about all that has been happening it made me really depressed. I guess if I would of told things could of ben put to a halt earlier.
If I was elected VP this was something that I would of addressed at the meeting. I would have talked it all out to the finish until everyone within the group was happy.
I would of layed down some rules that are now being placed thanks to the President, VP, Moderators, and City Rep. Thank you guys!

I do not take things lightly. Sometimes when things go on I do not know if they are jokes or are they serious.

NabooQueen is right. I am not assertive enough and I let people walk all over me. I am too concerned about their feelings and not my own. This is something I need to work on.

I guess what I am saying is I have come to understand from talking with people today that I am appreciated and wanted within the group more than I know. I just do not see it.

So when I feel that I am underappreciated or not wanted I will talk with someone. Just to find out where I stand within the group.

It would also help if someone from time to time comes up and gives me ahug to let me know that I am a valued member of the group.

Well. Now that things are taken care of I feel a whole lot better.

Thank you for helping me through this.

I am glad that you are my friends and I am glad to be part of such a wonderful group.

Binks!