main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

JCC it would be cool to have a pet giraffe and name him 'hambone'

Discussion in 'Community' started by tom, Nov 18, 2012.

  1. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    who here agrees?
     
  2. Bender666

    Bender666 Jedi Padawan star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2012
    We're not going to be shagging him are we?
     
  3. AAAAAH

    AAAAAH Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2012
    i agree! also a penguin named 'beeeeeeeep!'
     
  4. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    pet penguin is actually probably the coolest thing. with his little backpack. and he goes and gets the fish.

     
  5. honeybadger

    honeybadger Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2012
    If you are, you'll need a stool or a step-ladder or something.
     
  6. AAAAAH

    AAAAAH Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2012
    that penguin knows EXACTLY what he's doing.
     
  7. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    it would be pretty ironic, because ham is a great cut of meat because of its fat content or whatever but i don't think the corresponding area of meat on a giraffe would be a succulent because it would be a whole hell of a lot larger which would mean it would be more stringy and less moist or whatever it is that makes ham great.

    certainly you would need to feed a giraffe called hambone more brown sugar than a pig called hambone.
     
  8. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    but don't you just think hambone is a pretty good name for a giraffe?
     
  9. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    you know, i think in high school i knew a football player tackle guy they called hambone.

    though i may be thinking of that fat guy from not another teen movie.
     
  10. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    i suppose calling a pet giraffe hambone would have to be tasters choice. it wouldn't be the name i picked for a pet giraffe, but i could not deny a man his right to call his own pet giraffe hambone. we live in america and that sort of communism is against the constitution.
     
  11. Bender666

    Bender666 Jedi Padawan star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2012
    What temp do you put the oven at?
     
  12. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    what if the giraffe wore sunglasses? then you'd pretty much have to call him hambone.
     
  13. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    YOU DON'T COOK HAM IN AN OVEN YOU COOK IT ON A SPIT OVER A WOOD-FED FIRE.

    and if i had a giraffe that wore sunglasses, i imagine he'd be a john bender sort of giraffe, in which case i would totally call him hambone. probably while trying to score cigarettes from him.
     
  14. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    yea, this giraffe hambone. he definitely wears sunglasses. and he smokes cigarettes. and he sells drugs.
     
  15. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    hopefully only cool drugs like pot and mescaline. if hambone sold coke or heroin he wouldn't be cool. he'd just be lost and a weak facsimile of cool-dudeness.
     
  16. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    i never said he was very cool. hambone is the kind of pet giraffe who kind of pisses you off sometimes.
     
    hudzu likes this.
  17. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2002
    Man I hate being the only sober one.
     
  18. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    shows up banging on your window at 2am and you're like "holy hell hambone i've got work in 4 hours what do you want" and what hambone wants is for you to front him 20 bucks because he owes this dude he met through another dude and this dude doesn't have teeth and sores on his face and holy hell you don't want to deal with this because your boss is making your life hell and your mind is foggy enough that it seems like throwing twenty bucks at hambone would be a good idea if it meant he would just go away and let you sleep and then you forget about all of this until a few days later when you see him again and he has a black eye and that danger sense in the back of your mind goes off and is like GET AWAY FROM THIS GIRAFFE RIGHT NOW HE'S NOT WEARING SUNGLASSES BECAUSE HE'S COOL HE'S WEARING THEM CAUSE HE'S GOT BRUISES. and at this point you consider 20 bucks a worthwhile price to pay for the lesson you just learned about trusting strange giraffes smoking cigarettes.
     
    tom likes this.
  19. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    and what could you say but, "hambone you are a bad giraffe." ? hambone of course would be like, "i don't give a ****!" that's just him. that's why we love him.

    i mean, he does have problems though. he's no saint.
     
  20. harpua

    harpua Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Although,. St. Hambone does have a nice ring to it, should he ever mend his ways and decide to fly straight.
     
  21. hudzu

    hudzu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2003
    there comes a time when we can't put up with hambones antics any longer. like he's just treaded that line for so long and gone over once too many times and we have to ask ourselves why we're bothering with him in the first place. but lets face it, it takes a certain kind of person to love a drug dealing, glasses wearing giraffe in the first place and if we've put up with him for this long, its because there's something beneath these basic bits. some intangible draw in the character of hambone that makes him worth all our time and money and effort. and sometimes it seems like he's trying to push us away from that core. like he doesn't want us to see him for what he really is.

    i don't know about you guys, but i saw hambone for what he was the first time i met him. that maybe while other giraffes are always reaching up in life, he's content to bend down. check out the grass beneath his feet, instead of the leaves above his head. hambone somehow captures that intrinsic part of soul that so many other giraffes miss, so when he lashes out time and time again, all you want to do is hug him tighter and tighter and tell him that it's okay


    ....i love hambone.
     
    ophelia and tom like this.
  22. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    at least somebody here really gets hambone.
     
    ophelia and Master_Jacen like this.
  23. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000

    the image that came to mind was hilarious!
     
  24. AmazingB

    AmazingB Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2001
    What if you had two giraffes?

    Amazing.
     
  25. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick SfC Part IV Commissioner star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    I want a giraffe with a penchant for smoking & drinking whiskey.