Discussion Its minute 37 of Episode VII - what is going to happen??

Chewbacca tears Han's arms off and beats him to death with them. His last words: "Shoulda let the wookiee win"

 

I think we will have a talk between the bad guys.

 

Here's is what is basically going on at minute 37 in all 6 movies, for future reference please extrapolate from this point onwards:

Episode 1 - Sebulba bites the head off of that piece of food, the sandstorm sweeps in, Anakin notices Qui-Gon's lightsaber
Episode 2 - Obi-Wan points out that he has lost a planet, the kids school him on his rather quickly, Obi-Wan walks out in something of a huff and confers with Yoda.
Episode 3 - Anakin is allowed to be on the council but will not retain the rank of Master. Yoda reveals he has good relations with the Wookies.
Episode 4 - Tarkin proclaims that the regional governors now have direct control of their systems and fear will do the job. Vader rather quickly says the plans will be back in their hands.
Episode 5- basically just the start of the Millennium Falcon being chased by Tie Fighters. Two Star Destroyers kind of run into each other even though space is infinite in all directions.
Episode 6 - the entirety of Luke taking off on his X-Wing from Tatooine, having a comm chit-chat with Leia and Han, and saying he has a promise to keep with an old friend. The first few seconds of The Emperor arriving at the Death Star

So, ESB is the anomaly here. Basically, if the tempo of the series is any indication, in Episode 7 by now the first big spectacular setpiece is already out of the way and running smack into some exposition to set up the next chunk of the movie.

(This post is brought to you by the fact I was on a smoke break and I have all 6 movies on my ipod. Star Wars wherever and whenever I go anywhere!)

 

^^^ Thats awesome....



-C

 

It's when you walk out to visit the restroom. When you come back, you realize you missed something important and swear to yourself a second, third, forth, and fifth cinema viewing will therefore be necessary, nay, essential to your continued existence.

 

They go to a star within a star. Starception.
They make a lightsaber within a lightsaber. Lightception.
A darth woman becomes pregnant. Darthception.

 

Sounds like you're describing Christopher Nolans Star Wars....except it makes more sense

 

Minute 37? Star wipe that fades out into a tropical forest at night. Two Twi'leks emerge from a pool of water as some funky music begins to play. They begin to dry each other off and... wait, before I continue are we going under the assumption that Episode VII is at least rated R?

 

Me sleeping in the theater chair.

 

A Senate committee meeting on the improvement of the Holonet infrastructure.

 

Some random Jedi will walk up to the camera holding a card that says "Minute 37 kthxbye".

 

I'm not sure. But by Page 37:
- Jason Statham is in Jedi robes
- 3PO has caught some Droid Dingle Disease
- Lando has referred to "peeling off a cap" in someone
- Han's eaten his pureed green beans
- Leia's been in an underground Gungan bukkake hologram
- The genie in the lamp is out!
- Luke discovered his dad's TIE fighter...and the secret stash of porn within
- Yoda's ghost materialized into a bowl of soup
- Someone has said "I have a bad feeling about this..."

 

Is this for real or am I being punked?

 

Han will reapper. Mark my words. In a ANH he doesn't appear until 40 minutes or so of the movie. He'll be back then too in the Ep VII.

 

After killing off the Big 3, the next generation of heroes will begin their journey.

 

Daniel Craig makes his first appearance as the top agent in New Republic Intelligence.

 

Boba Fett's daughter and Han's daughter are bff on Kamino and try surfing during a wild storm on the watery world. There is a nice musical montage while they surf the wild waves.

 

Sexy babe with big breasts in a gold bikinI... Her moms.... Jaina Solo

 

Luke's son Lloyd Skywalker and Wedge's son Harry Antilles visit the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.

 

Knowing my kid I'll be taking him to the bathroom 37 minutes in.

 

Han will shoot first (again)

 

Luke and Leia finally get married.