Beyond - Legends It's Not the Same; vignette set during DW - Tahiri's thoughts during the Knighting Ceremony

It?s Not the Same

?? and their leader, Anakin Solo.?

Tahiri choked on a sob. Myrkr was still an open wound; a laceration, a part of her heart that had been ripped open and refused to heal. She couldn?t bring herself to gaze up at the image that she knew would be displayed above the stage, not able to trust herself not to start openly weeping if she looked.

Solemn music filled the chamber, and somehow, that moved Tahiri more than anything else so far. She tried to concentrate on the music to distract herself from her thoughts, but it was just sad enough to almost match her temperament at the moment, which made it very little help at all. The trumpet sounded so lonely and solemn as it played the beautiful but sad melody.

Tahiri was only vaguely aware of what was going on around her as the ceremony continued. Her thoughts were elsewhere, farther back than even Myrkr, back to the times she so rarely allowed herself to think about? times of happiness that only magnified her loss.

She remembered when she had first met Anakin; they had become friends almost immediately, and she had almost scared him away with her incessant chattering. Eventually, it got to the point where she would consciously play a rather evil game in which she would see how many sentences in a row she could barrage the poor boy with before he could get a single word in. Anakin was always a very good sport about it, too. Sometimes he?d just smile and wait for her to run out of breath.

Tahiri had to stifle a giggle ? hardly appropriate during this occasion ? at remembering the expression he had often given her when he was in a slightly grumpier mood. I?m not really a morning person, he had told her.

Tahiri?s momentary mirth began to fade as Master Skywalker began calling the Jedi up one by one. She had dreamed of this day since her childhood at the Academy, but the dreams had been quite different in a lot of ways. For one thing, Anakin had been right next to her no matter what else changed in the dream. It was bitterly ironic that reality had changed only the most important aspect. Tahiri felt a profound emptiness next to her where Anakin should be. Yes, that?s where he should be, right now, holding my hand. And if I wasn?t willing to let go, I would just drag him up to the stage with me.

Tahiri wasn?t sure whether to smile or cry at the mental image, and was saved from making the decision only because neither was appropriate at the moment. There was a vague warmth where Tahiri?s hand should be touching Anakin?s right now, and she bit her lip to suppress a sob. Her mood had suddenly become much darker, as pain she had been holding inside for over a year began to reassert itself.

Part of Tahiri was well aware of how irrational she was being. It had been a year since Anakin?s death; even if it was still a fresh wound, there was no reason for her sense of loss to suddenly be so predominant. But it was. And she had not the strength to fight it.

?Tahiri Veila!?

Forcibly composing herself, Tahiri stepped out of line and onto the stage. Cighal and Saba were waiting to robe her, and she bowed her head solemnly as they pulled the Jedi cloak over her. Even the heavy robes couldn?t rid Tahiri of the coldness she felt deep inside.

Master Skywalker stepped forward and placed both his hands on her shoulders lightly. ?Life has torn much from you that you loved,? he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tahiri forced herself not to cry, and wondered if he knew what she was thinking. Probably not exactly what she was thinking, but she also doubted it would be hard for anyone with a working brain to figure out.

?But your courage has been equal to everything,? he continued, an approving expression on his face.

A barrage of mismatched memories from Yavin, Yag?dhul, Myrkr, and Coruscant entered Tahiri?s consciousness as he said this. She hadn?t felt very brave at all during most of those times, even when she had faced down Nyax on Coruscant. But she had never spoken a word of it to anyone; he

 

*sniffle* That is beautiful. I'd write more, but I have a headache and can't think straight, so I'd probably end up laughing at something very solemn . . .

 

*snif*

Beautiful... Truely sad at it all

I miss anakin he was my favorite character next to J/j and Mara

This was great more soon ?

 

Nice viggie. You're very good at getting into a character's head, so vignette's suit you well. I hope to read more of your work in the future.

 

That was so sad....poor Tahiri..

I would have loved to see the lightsabers all ignite together....what a sight!

 

Nice view on Tahiri's thoughts, and how she's dealing with Anakin's death.