ITT Souderwan answers questions about Submarine Waffles and Pancakes

Ask away!

 

Are there pancakes and/or waffles on submarines?

How about syrup?

Butter?

 

Dear Souderwan: My mother just told me that my father is a waffle. What does this mean?

 

Do you get to cook waffles fresh on a submarine or are they instant waffles?

 

What's the best place to put a submarine in Battleship: Waffles Edition?

 

Answer our questions you slow answering submarine person!

 

Yes. And syrup, too! We usually eat pancakes, though. There's a slight Waffle bias that we're working on overcoming.

She didn't want to tell you about me. It's ok. I'm not a waffle. You can relax.

When we do make 'em (see above), they are fresh.

In one of the curved squares. We fit nicely there.

 

Do people on submarines eat sausage with their pancakes and/or waffles?

If the answer is yes, do you sit across from each other and yell "FIRE ONE" then throw the sausage into each other's mouth pretending that they are tiny torpedoes?

 

Is this technology a lie?

 

Submariners love sausage! Didn't you know?

And yes. We love to feed each other, too!

Ok. Not really.

All technology is a lie. Even the internet. And certainly waffle irons!

 

Are you allowed to take on your own personal frozen waffles if you would like to?

 

Dear Souderwan: I'm a Canadian and I hate maple syrup. What should I do?

 

No. The waffle bias runs deep. To crush depth!

Do like any good American would do! Package it and sell it and lie through your teeth about liking it.

 

Yeah, but as I said, I'm Canadian. We don't do stuff like that.

 

Then you might as well start cutting.

 

You know, in my day they only let waffle aficionados be cooks. You done real good, boy.

 

Some advice.

I think I'll go to thewafflehouse.net...

 

Awwww....you just made my day.

 

Mr. Souderwan, if you drop a waffle on the deck does it make enough noise that the Chinese sub that's trailing you could hear it?

 

Dude. The Chinese subs are so deaf that I can drop a stack of frozen waffles on the deck and they'd never hear it! lol @ the Chinese!!

 

Which comes first Waffles or Pancakes on your plate?

 

Pancakes! How many times do I have to explain the anti-Waffle submarine bias?

 

Souderwan, if you were in a submarine and the Commander of the Submarine, due to some sort of circumstances, gave you the order to dump all of the pancakes and pancake supplies into the sea, is this an example of a time when you would be allowed to disobey a direct order from a superior officer?

 

Did you see Crimson Tide? Well that's based on a true story. But it had nothing to do with missiles. That's all I'm allowed to say, Andalite. You can guess who played me in the movie, though.

 

Souderwan, suppose that one night when you were asleep in the submarine you were suddenly awakened but you did not comprehend why, and then you heard strange and eerie noises that seemed to reverberate magically through the air, and that you, quite confused, began to walk throughout the submarine trying to find the source of the noise, and then suddenly the hull of the ship became transparent, revealing the ocean beyond, and floating in the water not far from the ship was a gargantuan pancake, and it said to you in a booming telepathic voice "Souuuuuuuderwaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I am the SEAAAAAA PANCAAAAAAAKE," and you say "Sea Pancake, hi I am Souderwan, what's going on here," and then it said "You mussssssst help usssssss Souuuuuuuderwaaaaaaaaan," and then Sea Pancake exploded, because of a megaladon shark, with armor, and then you could not see outside the submarine anymore?