JCC itt we invent cool new slang

our cultural lexicon grows daily with absurd new words. most of them are awkward portmanteaus, ridiculous amalgams of internet words used first as shorthand, and then as a way to sound savvy.

no more i say. no longer will i stand by and and cringe silently as i hear all these redonkulous new words. today i fight back. but i can't do it alone. friends, i need your help in waging war on modern slang. we need to inject some style back into our substance.

so first, i would like to propose that we adopt the phrase "all tops." as in "rachel, this idea you have is so good! one could even say that it's all tops!"

and now it is your turn, for the cultivation of language is a group effort. lend me your words, friends, and let us make some cutting edge ****.

 

First person to make a Mean Girls reference gets stabbed in the eye socket. Repeatedly.

 

Well, you just made a mean girls reference. So get to stabbing.

 

What's your damage, Heather?

 

Ow, my eyeball did not like all that stabby mcstabstab.

 

I propose the word "spong" for a highly offensive, but politically correct, gender-neutral term for genitals. As in, "Where are Pat and Chris?" "Probably off banging their spongs together again."

 

Thanks for playing.

 

I would like to see Webster's dictionary add the word doppelbangher next year.

 

PornMD, search for "twins"...

 

we'll definitely need new words for dudes and chicks, guys and gals, hombres and senioritas. every generation of slang needs words for our two genders. i think in order to keep up with current trends we should call guys "snorlax" and all girls "pikachu". like "whats up snorlax?" or "heyyyyy there pikachu". it's all tops, right?

 

tom, I gotta hand it to you. that idea is streets ahead.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

 

I propose turning Arnold one-liners into Valentine's Day cards. Don't know if that's the same thing as what the OP is suggesting.

 

This thread is really bronkitz. You guys are real frothdogs.

 

OK, I'll work on a replacement for "the bee's knees." I suspect that one will go out of fashion soon, but not before "the cat's pajamas."

 

Quix has been posting some 'German words that should have been' on FB. He should make a contribution here.

 

In China there's a phrase that roughly translates into "the cow's vagina" that sort of means the same thing.

 

I do find it a bit odd that we call it 'zooming' a lens. It's a sound effect that became a legitimate dictionary word.

 

Come with me if you want to love.

 

Someone needs to come up with a new slang to replace "have your cake and eat it too". I hate that expression. What else are you gonna do with the cake than eat it?

 

It is supposed to be reversed: "Eat your cake and have it too." The point being you cannot possess something after having eaten it.

Futurama made the same joke of the payoff of Zoidberg's "sandwich heavy portfolio" when he cries about his ruin a second after eating the sandwich. Though that was also a joke about the utility of fiat currency as opposed to items that can have alternative uses.