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Beyond - Legends Jace Starsun and the Disciples of Ragnos (an OC story set in 14 ABY)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tamlan_Eld, Jun 29, 2010.

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  1. Tamlan_Eld

    Tamlan_Eld Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2010
    Okay, this is my first fanfic, I have always wrote short stories in notebooks for myself but never for anyone else to read. I feel like this is a safe place to post it andf get some constructive feed back. Be gentle.

    Jace Starsun had been here, at the Jedi Praxeum, for two years and yet every Yavin 4 sunrise was as beautiful as the last one. He stood at his viewport taking it all in still wearing his work out clothes. Master Luke Skywalker had brought him here himself, because Jace had nothing left. The stormtroopers of the Empire Reborn had killed his mother for mouthing off to one of them. He snapped himself out of the train of bad thoughts. He was only twelve when he lost everything and he found it was easy to sometimes pity himself. He tried focusing on the good; he was a Jedi student now and he could use those abilities to help others. The door to his room slid open and his room mate came in, still drying his hair from his morning sanisteam. Jace's roomie was Dav Entook, a human boy Jace's age, who was Jace's first friend here at the temple. Jace turned from the viewport and regarded his friend warmly exuding affection through the Force. Drav adjusted his tunic and rolled his head around his shoulders, "I can't stand the way these robes feel when they're freshly washed." Dav was from Tatooine and Jace suspected anything devoid of sand was probably uncomfortable for his friend. "Listen, Jace, I found a new spot to spar." Dav was looking past Jace, to the jungle. Jace gave him a cautious look, "Hey!" Dav said with a false hurt sound in his voice, "I already cleared it with Luke, we're good." Jace frowned at his friend.
    "Master Skywalker." He corrected.
    "You know something Jace?" Dav got his sideways grin he was known for, "you're far too formal. You need to lighten up."
    Jace always looked forward to sparring with any Jedi, especially Dav. "So where is this spot?"

    Dav lead Jace through the jungle of Yavin 4 to the spot he had found earlier, not far from the temple. The boys were now dressed in their traditional brown robes and each had a lightsaber at his hip. Jace stopped at the edge of the small clearing that was Dav's new spot, Dav moved ten paces away from Jace. "So," Dav said, "are you ready?".
    Jace gave him a cocky smile. "Are you?". Dav leapt high and ignited his orange blade in mid-air, coming down on Jace. Or at least he would have had Jace not easily side stepped and Force pushed Dav away. Dav was no slouch with the Force, however, and quickly used it to land on his feet and enter his Ataru pose. Jace kept his grin while he pulled his lightsaber from his belt and its blue blade came to lif with a snap-hiss. "I won't hurt you Dav... not much, anyway." Jace got into the pose for the Soresu form. Dav wasted no time in executing his second assault. He spun high in the air and came down in front of Jace, instantly bringing his blade to bear on his friend's. Jace used the Force to calm himself, and use only the energy needed to protect himself, he would let Dav tire himself. Dav's concentration faltered, Jace could feel it, the Dav's eyes rose to the sky. Jace thought at first that it was a trick. Then Dav backed off. "Look." He said. Jace followed his gaze and caught the image of a shuttle, on fire, falling to the jungle floor. Dav covered his mouth. "Those are probably recruits."
    "Students." Jace corrected, absent mindedly. The shuttle came down hard enough to cause a minor tremor where the boys stood. Dav turned to Jace looking hopeful. "They landed only a click from here!"
    Jace began shaking his head as Dav said it. "No, Dav, we need to let Master Skywalker and the older students handle this."
    Dav gave Jace a snort. "Luke and the other Jedi are all the way back at the temple, we are close enough to help." Jace had to admit that Dav had a point.
    "Fine," he said, "let's go."
     
  2. Tamlan_Eld

    Tamlan_Eld Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2010
    So, that was chapter one. A little short, but I was eager to get it posted. I will be putting chapter two up soon. I hope to hear from anyone who can give some constructive criticism.
     
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