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Jairen's Agony Column

Discussion in 'Midlands and Wales' started by Jairen, Jul 25, 2005.

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  1. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 2, 2002
    How do you mean?
     
  2. jangofett9

    jangofett9 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 23, 2004
    shes says that she is in love with three guys rite now...one of them being me.....but i know im not the only one....n rite now my heart has stopped n my stomach is in my throat.....where do i go from here?
     
  3. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 2, 2002
    Wow, three guys? Really??

    Uh, ok. Let me think. I'm on a roll here, i'm batting two for two.

    Ok, i'm afriad that there's no real easy way out of this. You just have to tell her that she has to make a decision. It's not fair on her, you or the other two guys.

    The reason why she is feeling down is that she probably doesn't want to hurt two guys feelings, but its better to let them know whats happening now, rather than keep them hanging on for any longer.

    Tell her that she has to commit to a decision and stick with it, no matter how hard that may be for her.

    Even if your not the one that she picks, you will at least then be put out of your misery. As someone who has done everything just short of getting on my knees and begging a woman to make a choice between myself and another guy, she wouldn't. I think she was enjoying all the attention and compliments a bit to much to end it, even though she would never admit to it. In the end I had to make a choice that if she wasn't going to make a decission, then I would make it for her. It wasn't very nice, but it ws the only thing I could really do that would allow all of us to get on with our lives.
     
  4. jangofett9

    jangofett9 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 23, 2004
    i....cannot do that mate.....i feel to god dam strongly for her.......she is my life and my one love...i know it......im just so confused as to what to do
     
  5. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Jun 2, 2002
    I hate that situation! I know where your coming from. I have spent around 8 months trying to get the above mentioned woman to make a decission.

    Maybe you should give her a time frame or something. Tell her that she should dicide in 2 weeks, for better or worse. By all means, make your feelings known to her and make the best of your chances, but the hanging on thing is not something I would recommend to anyone.
     
  6. Jairen

    Jairen Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 1, 2000
    Tom, I've spoken to you on MSN, but I'll follow up here, I think WG is on the right track with this particular situation. You need to push forward on this and get a resolution. You leave for Uni soon, and this needs to be sorted before then, or it will just gnaw at you.
     
  7. jangofett9

    jangofett9 Jedi Master star 4

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    Jan 23, 2004
    I canot take this pain i am feeling rite now.......ive known her a year and a half n since the day i met her i have been in love... i know this is love i feel for her so badly.......
     
  8. Jairen

    Jairen Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 1, 2000
    Love is a strong word to be throwing around Tom.

    I admit, I'm really attracted to someone right now, for so many reasons. Her smile, her laugh, her balls-to-the-wall attitude about life just to name a few. But am I in love? How can I know that if I've never told her, never had time to develop those feelings with her?

    I know that this all seems so intense right now, and doing the whole thing on MSN is not the best way to do it. You need to have this kind of discussion in person, face to face, to understand if there is really any kind of connection there.

     
  9. Welshguy

    Welshguy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 2, 2002
    This is a tricky one. On one hand you don't want to do anything that would upset her and possibly push her away, but on the other, the situation of three guys just cannot continue.

    Funnily enough, I was pondering the question of whether it is possible to love two (or even three) people at the same time today. I didn't really come up with an answer, but I suppose the answer would be yes.

    However, it may be possible to have those feelings for more than one person, but logic and the practical nature of relationships tells you that you can only be involved with one person. As hard as that may be for the you to seperate and decide on the people you are involved with.

    You mentioned you are going to uni soon. Is she going to be going to the same one as you? I only ask because long distance relationships might play a deciding factor in her outcome.
     
  10. F16WarBird

    F16WarBird Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Three guys? Screw that!

    I'd drop back five yards and punt. ;)
     
  11. Maleficant

    Maleficant Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2002


    What the hell does THAT mean Joe!?! [face_laugh]
     
  12. F16WarBird

    F16WarBird Jedi Youngling star 4

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    Aug 5, 2004
    I thought you were a football fan.
     
  13. Maleficant

    Maleficant Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2002
    Oh I am, just trying to put that to this situation! lol
     
  14. F16WarBird

    F16WarBird Jedi Youngling star 4

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    Aug 5, 2004
    That means it's 4th and 20 on his 10 yard line. ;)
     
  15. veritasuk

    veritasuk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Your in trouble now! This is Verity's Job!

    [lucius] *raises eyebrow* which is what, exactly [lucius]


    THis thread makes me laugh. I'm sorry to para phrase Prince Charles but what is love?

    Heres my 2p worth. Avoid all this hassle by burying all feelings deep down, and create a big emotional void around your self. THis way you avoid ever being upset by any one ever again. It works .
     
  16. F16WarBird

    F16WarBird Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Everyone has their own way of coping.

    I prefer to have the feelings and run the risk of getting hurt.

    "You must eat bitter before you can taste sweet" ;)
     
  17. veritasuk

    veritasuk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    thats another way.

    I also advocate training yourself not to be ticklish as this is a weakness and also not saying ahhhhh when you see a kitten and or puppy.
     
  18. Maleficant

    Maleficant Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2002
    I like Verity's way of thinking, the hell with it all! lol



    Joe, I see what your saying but damn dude I've gotten to a point in my life where all I've had is the bitter and I'm sick of it! lol
     
  19. veritasuk

    veritasuk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    brush it aside, it is inconsequential, get on with the important things, like having fun.

    Tom just ask her out. Ask her, put yourself out of the misery, get it over with. Its a win win, you either end up blissfully happy or you feel better because the stressing is over with.
     
  20. Maleficant

    Maleficant Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2002
    I'm just suffering from a bruised ego, I'll get over it and get back in the game soon enough. Just wish there was a con I could go to happening sooner then October. lol


    Right now, I think I need a good break and focus on going to college next month. :D


    Ok for now you can all find me at the Pub, working as usual! lol
     
  21. Happy Ninja

    Happy Ninja Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 20, 2000
    Bah! You'll be fine. I think women cope easier than men that way. Besides, having an ego to bruise only proves that your human, and at least you have feelings to hurt, not like some people out there that just don't give a ****. :)

    Look at the bright side...You'll be going back to college - just think of all the nice young college guys out there!
     
  22. Maleficant

    Maleficant Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2002
    Young guys always get me in trouble dear! lol


     
  23. Happy Ninja

    Happy Ninja Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 20, 2000
    But you have to admit, they do provide you with some form of entertainment! :p
     
  24. Maleficant

    Maleficant Jedi Knight star 5

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    Jun 16, 2002
    Entertainment is a good word for what young guys are good for........
     
  25. jangofett9

    jangofett9 Jedi Master star 4

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    Jan 23, 2004
    Thats what most people tell me...I'm only good to entertain people!

    Anyway on another note I cannot just ask her out V it just won' happen n I know she will say no now if I were to ask her today.....just still trying to get my head around why she is playing me like this? Is it some sort of test? I juts don't get it....bin moping around allday trying to figure out an answer to it but I just can't.....
     
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