Jairen's Agony Column

Some people hurt others to make themselves feel better. I'm sorry to hear that your still getting all torn up over this girl but you can't allow it to eat away at you like this.

Hell I've been down in the dumps and there have been times when I allowed guys to totally depress the hell out of me, but you have to keep telling yourself that if it's meant to be, it will happen on it's own and redirect your focus onto something postive.


I know I know, easier said then done, but you have to do it anyway.


Now go to the pub and I'll give you a drink on the house.

 

mate, if shes playing ya (and I suspect she is by saying she loves 3 blokes at the moment) then youre worth better than to be some ones play thing. God I know it hurts when you want some one and its not reciprocated, after all, I didnt end up Miss Haversham for no good reason. But best you can do is keep away from her until shes sorted her head out, you cant make people love you, but you can stalk them until they give in.

 

Or until they issue a court order against you.

 

This thread has really opened my eyes to the total lack of BALLS shown by many of the guys I know and respect on here -

Tom - you're worth more than 3rd call or sloppy seconds, so move on to the next candidate, a young guy like you can't be short of attractive ladies to sweep off their feet.

Jairen - Geez dude with a personality like yours and you can't just walk up to the most beautiful woman in the room and give her one or two lines that prove you're as funny as you are wise then you need to take a damn hard look inside yourself m8.

Mark - There's one thing you're never short of and that's conversation, it doesn't matter what the subject you have a gift, a loud Aussie gob and the sense of humour to back it up, all that's stopping you is yourself.

Bit of pride, bit of bravado and a lot of balls gentlemen, if you don't go ask her, she sure as hell ain't going to ask you.

 

I don't know whether to shake your hand, or slap you silly!

 

a lot of truth is being spoken by martin.

 

Thanks for the vote of confidence Dave however, the truth isn't always the best advice.

I spent years like Tom and Mark, trying to make myself 'Right' but after a while I realised that if I was never going to get anywhere unless I was happy and comfortable with who and what I am. As Dave has just pointed out to me it's better to regret something that you have done as opposed to something you should have done.

 

and those are the words to live by, I pretty much do.

 

and you don`t get anywhere in life without taking risks. bite the bullet, and if it goes **** up then brush yourself down and move on.

if you don`t then it will eat you up inside.

 

but think of how you guys felt when u first met your wives ok? (jeez can think of sumthin you guys might say in reply to that!) but right now that is exaclty how i feel for her....n so scared that after a year and a half of falling for her it cud all be over like that....its so scary!

 

once more with feeling

 

Jairen,

I am the music-man ( I come from down your way,actually) and I can play..



What Can I play? well I'll tell you ,mister...I play too many Damn instruments. Which one should I stick with?

 

I hate to ruin this touching moment but you could always be the rebound guy. I believe it was the Bard himself, Shakespeare, who said; "It is better to have tapped that booty and lost than to never have knocked boots at all".

 

orn-free-tada you raise an interesting query. I would say the Saxophone. It's not as in your face as a guitar, or as boring as keyboards, but can be very sexy if played to the right woman.


DISCLAIMER: Big J has no musical bone in his body, can't dance, can't sing, can't play instruments, and is merely mentioning a saxamaphone as it is the instrument played by John Cusack in Better Off Dead and it gets him the woman.

 

Martin, I take my hat off to you dude. Thank you for the kind words.

However, a lifetime of nervousness, shyness and self-image problems is too much to.... ah, screw it.

So, who wants to partay with the J-Man?!

 

I'll party with the J-Man!!! I saw we head over to the pub & kill a pitcher of Red Devil shooters, sugar free of course.


Now about that saxophone, my favorite instrument!!

 

thanks Jairen. You dont know how helpful that was to me.

edit:

---

Tim (JFP), you line " Over like that" I can relate to (and it's not that tale of that lass I was talking to you when I was at yours about a month ago). It's diffult to think and the outcome and feelings of your situation will be different depending on the type of person who is reacting to it.

We arn't like each other so What I say may very well be totally different to what might happen with you ( hell, you're far more popular with the ladies than I certainly am) but when I first was in the same situation as you my reaction was " let it be" becuase I am that kinda person.... 'that kind person' being the guy to is damn too shy to make any real difference ( BTW this was when I was 16 and although now I am a hell of a lot more socialble however There are still situations that when I am placed in i was guarentee to act the same way as I always have. who knows if it was truely "love" tehn would I do something about it? would I be more passionate towards this subject as you are now? no definitive answer)


For me it was for the better (KINDA). this lass turned out to be a 'not nice' type and 'extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemly friend' towards my fellow man (or should that be "man"?) . I later became fine with what happened and became even more passionate about someone ( that 'one' I was telling you about that time at your place) but Like I said that whole thing went ****-up.


After all that rambling, all I can say it stay strong tim.... that or "swing away, meril, swing away"

 

Can I just say...

I spent 7 years having a crush on someone that I more or less knew wasn't reciprocated and one night I just thought the hell with it I'm going to ask him... and I did.

I was right he only saw me as a very close and much trusted friend and in a wierd way I was happy because at least I knew for sure AND I still had him as a friend and a much loved and much respected one.

Don't be afraid to ask questions and get to the point because even if the answer is not what you want to hear at least you can get on with your life and not have that darn great "WHAT IF" question hanging over your head

Life is too short to punish yourself or not ask for what you really want, get out there, have fun and keep on keeping on...

... or else I will come round and force you to have a good time OK?

 

^

I'd listen to her if I were you!! lol

 

I can't belive I called JF9 TIM!. sorry tom, somehting must have possesed me

 

were you thinking about enchanters?


and Joe, *sniffle* that was a beautiful quote from the bard.

 

Ok Phill here's some heavy action for your little thread -

My brother and his girlfriend have been living in what used to be 'The Family Home' before my mother passed away just over two years ago, the original agreement was that they would pay rent to my parents and give them an income because niether of them could work due to my mother being terminally ill and my father looking after her. Needless to say no money has ever changed hands and they're still living there. Recently my father has met another woman, who is very nice and makes him happy, they've decided to sell their seperate homes and move in together, my brother has thrown his dolley out because he's realised that if they get married he won't inherit the house he's currently living in, or at worst he would have to find a large amount of cash to buy half of it off me. He's made a real song and dance about the whole thing so my father had the house valued and said that my brother could purchase it for half of it's market value thus solving the issues he has raised, my brother has flat refused to get a mortgage due to the high value of the property and is also refusing to pay any rent. I've managed to get the three of together to discuss it but my brother won't be reasonable or even talk to us about it, my father is at the point where he's going to evict my brother and sell the house to stop any further arguments.

Where the hell do I go with this one ? I've suggested to my brother that he buy the house, spend some money on it and sell it in a year or so and double his money without increasing his mortgage but I was told to go away, in no uncertain terms.

If this don't do your head in, you can borrow mine for a while

 

You need to stay out of it, this is between your father & brother. I do however believe your brother is way out of line here though. He wants to have his cake & eat it to. Must be nice to live rent free for so long but all good things must come to an end.

My 2 cents anyway.

 

Thanks Wendy.

 

I'm just calling it as I see it.


But your very welcome Martin.