Beyond - Legends Japor -- Complete: Thanks for the Noms! Taking suggestions for excerpts.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kidan, Feb 6, 2006.

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  1. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    The Challenge: Ben?s Love
    Title: Japor
    Author: Kidan
    Characters: Ben, Tahiri, Jacen, Jysella
    Genre:
    Timeframe: Between DN and LoTF
    Notes: This started as an entry for the February Ben Skywalker challenge fic at Legacy Child. The highlighted words were assigned as part of the writing challenge. It has since gotten a life of its own.

    For information on the various parts of a lightsaber, Wookiepedia offers this site, with a good image. Also, I used I, Jedi's saber terminology, some of which does not have have a corresponding concept on the image at the link.

    PM List: Imperial-Hippy; mavjade; Jedi_Fel; TahiriSoloFan; jackyyy17;



    Japor

    You wish to know what happened? Fine I will tell you. First let me set the stage, It had been about three years since the resolution of the Killik fiasco, and Adumar, Adumar was still two years off. But we?re not here to talk about Adumar are we; you want to know about Tahiri. Like I said, it was about three years after the Killiks were dealt with that my Dad assembled the Jedi for a Concave. He felt it was an appropriate time to bring wayward Jedi home. Three Jedi in particular.

    I could feel the tempestuous rolling in the Force as soon as the three Jedi stepped off the transport. After all, these particular Jedi had been exiled to Dagobah for years at that point. No one knew if they would accept the Council?s wisdom, but Dad thought that with him calling another assemblage of the Jedi that it would be a good time to try and bring them back.

    Dad is big on that forgiveness thing.

    I barely remembered the three from before their exile, and I did not remember her at all. Not surprising, when you consider how much time she spent on Zonoma Sekot. All alone on Dagobah all those years, I wonder if it changed them. I?m sure if I asked Jaina then she could tell me, but it?s not that important anymore.

    I peered around my fellow padawans remembering not to wander to far from my Master, yet another point in my life that I was wishing that I was ever so slightly taller. If there is one thing that is bad about being a Skywalker, it is the height.

    I looked back at my Master, I knew he was dubious on whether or not the time away had changed them, but it was not his decision to make. I remember the fervor with which he argued with Dad on this whole thing. He did not want them coming back, even now; were it possible I think Jacen would have them still on Dagobah.

    Then I saw her. There was nothing specific that I noticed in that first sight, except her beauty. Later I would remember little details such as she was not wearing shoes and the three faint scars on her forehead. But at first, it was just the sheer wonder of seeing her. As she walked past us, she turned toward Jacen, and coolly greeted him. While they were exchanging their insults, thinly veiled as pleasantries, I just stared. I was, oh, thirteen at the time, which meant that she, was twenty-six almost twenty-seven, but that did not matter one bit to me. She was beautiful.

    When I felt Jacen slightly push my back, I belatedly realize that he had introduced me and I was supposed to say something.

    ?Are you an angel?? is what tumbled out of my mouth, much to my horror. ?I, I read about them, they are supposed to be the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy. They?re from the moons of Iego I think.?

    Great, there she was, beautiful beyond belief, and I?m giving her a lesson in exobiology. At that point, I felt a twinge in Jacen?s Force presence. I had assumed it was amusement at my stumbling.

    ?Aren?t you a funny little boy?? Is what she replied.

    Although it was spoken as a question, it was more of a statement of fact. I swiftly pulled the Force back in around me to ensure I did not broadcast the hurt I felt at />
  2. _ThatJediScum_ Jedi Master

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    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    Ben is so cute here but poor Tahiri. While he's experiencing his first love(first crush) she's (unfortunately) being reminded of her lost love.

    bran
  3. mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic and New Movies Manager

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    That was really good!

    Tahiri was a very interesting choice for the character he was in love with!

    I loved the allusions to his grandfather, and then him reminding Tahiri of her Anakin! Very creative!

    Good job!
  4. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    JediScum: Ben is so cute here but poor Tahiri. While he's experiencing his first love(first crush) she's (unfortunately) being reminded of her lost love.

    Yes, Mr. Denning went to great lengths to point out that Ben wanted to be like Han, likewise it was stated that Anakin was always like Han as well. Since Ben is attempting to be like Han, he's probably coming across as very Anakin-ish to Tahiri.


    mavjade: That was really good! Thank You :D

    Tahiri was a very interesting choice for the character he was in love with! I loved the allusions to his grandfather, and then him reminding Tahiri of her Anakin! Very creative!

    Truthfully, I chose Tahiri, because of the allusions that could be made to the grandfather (plus there is the benefit of picking at Tahiri's emotional wounds which most people assume are auto-healed with the new-improved post-NJO Tahiri). Tahiri was the only Jedi that could take Padme's place as someone who Ben seens for effectively the first time. Corran's kids, and all the other Jedi are around Ben often, while Tahiri was on Sekot and then Dagobah for most of Ben's life.

    As I said to JediScum, with Ben emulating his uncle, he would appear to Tahiri as very Anakin-ish.


    Plus there is the psuedo-incestous implications for the Marakin-ers [face_devil].

    Good job!
    Once again, Thanks! :D


    Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your point of view, this challenge reply grabbed me, and there are some other things that need to be told. Namely, what has happened that requires Ben to be telling this story.
  5. ZaraValinor Jedi Master

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    May 31, 2002
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    So didn't expect that, but very cute. Love my little Benny.
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

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    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Lovely! I really enjoyed it. Ah, young love! [face_love]
  7. terribletimestwo Jedi Youngling

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    May 16, 2005
    Ben is my favorite. That was so great and bittersweet. Are you going to continue?
  8. JediMaster_Jen Jedi Master

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    Jun 3, 2002
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    Wonderful viggie!! =D=

    I never considered Ben having a crush on Tahiri. Great work.
  9. Jedi_Fel Jedi Youngling

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    Oct 1, 2005
    star 1
    Arn't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

    lol I loved this one. It was so cute.. I think this could be made into a seris... just maybe...
  10. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    ZaraValinor Now you've gotten me curious, what exactly was your expectations?[face_thinking]

    VaderLVR64 Thanks, an thanks for reading :D

    terribletimestwo Yes, I am planning on continuing, and am working on chapter two right now. It is not quite as bittersweet as the initial post...

    JediMaster_Jen Well normally, I wouldnt consider it either. After all, Tahiri is a little over a decade older than Ben, but then half the hassle in the challenge was coming up with an established character as a love interest for Ben. Then I remembered that little Japor icon Ani gave Padme, and off me little mind went.

    Jedi_Fel [face_mischief] Am glad that you enjoyed it, after writing it, I knew that there was more ways this story could extend and I had initially thought about creating a set of viggies about Ben and the various females he comes into contact with, but as I reviewed the story initially, I realized that there was a lot going on in this dynamic, and there is just something about Skywalkers and their first loves, so i changed it to where Ben is telling a story, rather than narrating an adventure, and this story is what is going to be told.


    Again, thanks everyone for reading and the kind comments :D[face_dancing][:D]
  11. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    Chapter 2

    I heard a sound behind me, and spun around, but all I saw was the flash of a robe as it hurried in the opposite direction. I reached out with the Force to sense who it was, but they were shielding to well, and truthfully, I was far more concerned with Tahiri at that point, so I turned to the direction she ran off, and started walking that way.

    It was fairly easy to follow her; the pain she felt was a better guide than the stones in that old child?s fairy tale. A brilliant red string in the Force, a jagged line which arched into the whites of sharp emotional pain fading through the reds until you got to the black of old depression.

    The emotional scabbed I had picked open was a deep and old one.

    I finally found her in the Grotto. The stone plinths that marked the passing of a Jedi towered over us as I looked over at her. She sat in front of a marble one, slightly rocking as she sobbed.

    Here her pain washed over me in waves. I looked up to read the plinth that she was leaning against.

    Even today I can remember what was engraved on that plinth:

    "The deeds of heroes send ripples spreading through the Force. Anakin's life continues to flow outward, touching and guiding those who have yet to hear his name. Most of us here use the Force--this young man embodied it."

    I reached out and touched her shoulder.

    ?Tahiri? Are you okay??

    She looked up at me with those eyes, which just an hour ago, held such mischief as she winked at me, now filled with such pain and loss. ?Please, just go Ben. I?I just need some time alone.?

    I nodded my head, noticing that the little Japor icon was slipped around her neck, and turned and walked away. I briefly wrapped her in a Force hug, showing my love, acceptance and support, before pulling the Force back in around me, and shutting down.

    As I walked away, I looked back over my shoulder to look at her once again. She was sitting in a classic Jedi meditation pose. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, but still the tears fell. I almost ran back to her at that second.

    What stopped me was the realization that I could do nothing. Yes I loved her, but to her, I was just a funny little boy.

    Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed, if my presence could have changed how things played out. Idle daydreams, what if. I?ve learned long since to understand that what is is.

    It was early the next morning when Jacen found the body. I was just sitting down at first meal, when I felt Jacen?s shock in the Force. I jumped up, and yelled for my parents to come, saying something along the lines that Jacen needed us.

    I would like to tell you that I was worried and concerned about whatever could cause my Master to react with shock, but that would be a lie. What worried me was that Jacen?s Force presence came from the grotto where I had last seen Tahiri.

    What Jacen had found was a body hanging in the Grotto. A stringy rope-like substance tied him to four different plinths, his head hanging free, dangling down in front of the same plinth that Tahiri was leaning against the night before. Anakin?s Plinth.

    But where the engraved text was the night before, was something new. A shallow recess had been carved and sitting in it was a focusing crystal for a lightsabre.

    When my Dad lifted the body?s head, we all recognized him immediately.

    It was Valin Horn.

    At that point, I heard the snap-hiss of a lightsabre, and my Master saying ?This is Valin?s lightsabre. It works, so whose lightsabre does that crystal belong to??

    As I looked around, trying to see anything to give me a clue if Tahiri had been here or not I hear my dad begin to speak, ?Mara, please run and tell Corran and Mirax, they need to know, Jacen I?ll want you to tell me exactly what happened here.?

    As Jacen began to tell his story to Dad, I opened myself to the Force, I felt the pain and shock. Valin had died right there in the grotto. Less than a klick from where me and my parents lived. Whoever did this, was powerful enough to shield Valin?s death from us, a
  12. Jedi_Fel Jedi Youngling

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    Oct 1, 2005
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    *first post*

    gasp! is riina back in town again?
  13. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    :cool:

    Did she ever really leave?[face_thinking]
  14. pregnantpadme Jedi Master

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    Oct 25, 2004
    star 4
    AHHHHH!

    A Jedi Murder Mystery!

    I have been wondering when someone would get around to doing this!

    Of course I love that Tahiri is in the thinck of it (I [face_love] Tahiri)

    and I love all the illuding to Anakin/Padme. Fantastic forst two chapters. I'm so excited that I caught this early.

    PP
  15. brodiew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2005
    star 5
    Good job here, Kidan. =D= I liked this. Ben was in such earnest in his fascination with Tahiri. You could tell his whole heart was in giving her his gift.

    A desk made entirely from it could get you a brand new star cruiser. What this snippet was doing on Naboo, I have no clue, but the Force thrummed when I found it and I knew I had to get it. When she winked at me that was when I knew why I had gotten it. It was to be a gift for her.

    Keep up the good work on Chapter 1. Haven't read 2 yet.
  16. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    You know, I've never really noticed that lack..[face_thinking] hmmm....at least I can fill a niche ;)
    Glad you like it, and there is definitely more fun to come :D Thanks for reading!




    What can I say, Tahiri is a fascinating girl. :) and Ben is quite the earnest little bugger aint he.

    Thanks for the kind words and thanks for reading. I hope you like chapter 2 and beyond as much as chapter 1 :D


    All:

    I'm still in the process of writing chapter 3, and am hoping to have it ready to post sometime this weekend. Next week, I'll be on a business trip, and depending on the type of high-speed internet the hotel I'm staying in offers, I may or may not be online, but I will have one of my computers to allow me to work on the fic, so I should have something to post after I get back.


    />
  17. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    Chapter 3

    My dad brought in the best crime techs the GFFA had to offer. They picked that Grotto clean. The only traces of anyone they found were me, Tahiri, Jacen and Valin. It was interesting work, and I would have loved watching them do it, unfortunately I was needed for something else.

    While the crime unit was playing in the Grotto, I received the joy of a good old fashioned, CorSec grilling. My Dad and Corran both wanted to know exactly where I had seen that symbol before. Corran looked about ready to yank the knowledge from my head by force, so I decided it would probably be best to tell them everything.

    So I told them about the Japor icon. How I purchased it on Naboo, and gave it to Tahiri the day before. I told them about what I said while trying to be like Uncle Han, and then I told them about following her to that Grotto, and leaving after she asked me to.

    As I was telling what happened, Corran sat down, and put his head into his hands. When I finished, he asked ?Do you think Tahiri did it?? Whether he was asking my Dad or me, I was not sure.

    Of course I answered no.

    My dad answered ?Riina could have.?

    With that, Corran got up and left, kicking a chair on his way out. His emotions were bubbling over like the magma found on Mt. Ossi, all reds, yellows, oranges and black. I looked at my Dad, but he did not look like he was willing to tell me anything, so I turned to Jacen and asked ?Who is Riina??

    I knew that Tahiri had been tortured during the Vong war, in the same way that I knew that Jacen had been. Of course knowing something, never truly prepares you for when you learn the full impact of an event. I knew from a young age that I could not breathe water, but that did not prepare me to be held under the water until my lungs were screaming for oxygen. I was transfixed as Jacen laid out Tahiri?s story. Of her capture on Yavin IV, Anakin?s visions, Master Irkit?s death, Anakin?s death, Tahiri?s slow descent into madness, the mind battles with Riina and ultimately how Jaina helped Tahiri and Riina to merge into one being.

    Thinking hard, I looked towards the ceiling, and that was when it hit me. I realized exactly what went unsaid throughout the entire story. I looked at my Master, the one that was entrusted to teach me the ways of the Jedi and asked ?So, Jaina helped Tahiri merge with Riina, and everyone assumed that that solved all her problems? I mean she was tortured and shaped, then Anakin was killed, plus there has to be some type of withdrawal symptoms or, or something from the joining with the Killiks. We just ignored it all??

    To say I was outraged would be an understatement. The Jedi were supposed to care for their own. We?re supposed to be a family. Yet our family left Tahiri to suffer through her demons alone. The Force only knows what emotional scars lay under that beautiful pert nose.

    ?Yes son that is exactly what we all assumed.?

    I jumped with that. Not because of any profound truth, but just because I had shut myself down so far into the Force that I had forgotten my Dad was there. I turned to face him as he continued, ?it was wartime, but of course that does not excuse the fact that we more or less left Tahiri to fend for her self after everything we knew she had been through. We took it upon ourselves to believe that we could help her by just being there for her, so off she went flitting about the galaxy with Han and Leia. After what happened with Jaina, she seemed so calm and collected, she fought the Vong with us, she laughed and cried with us, and then she stayed with Sekot.?

    ?But Uncle Luke, how would we have known? How could we have known that Riina was still active??

    My head shot around and I glared at my Master as I opened my mouth to say that we did not know that Riina was active, that we did not even know if Tahiri was the one that did this, but I was interrupted by my dad as he said ?We could not, and now Valin has paid the price. We must find Tahiri and see if we can help her, by force if need be.?

    I looked at my dad as he absently star
  18. Eleventh_Guard Jedi Master

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    Dec 17, 2005
    star 5
    I'm liking this fic!

    Poor Valin, though! :_|
  19. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    Great! Thanks for reading! :D

    and Yes, poor Valin, and Corran an Mirax....
  20. pregnantpadme Jedi Master

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    Oct 25, 2004
    star 4
    OH man...where do I start?

    I've never really cared about Zekk one way or the other...so his death isn't breaking my heart...the idea that Tahiri might be killing off other Jedi...lol, I don't mind so much that they are dying, only that Tahiri might be to blame.

    I loved you paragraph when Ben hears the details of what Tahiri has gone through and is outraged that the Jedi didn't do more for her or realize that she may have needed help. As most people who have ever been within 10 Cyber feet of my know, the mutalization (edit: of her personality) of Tahiri Veila (edit: in profic) is a big obsession of mine. I like the explanation you're giving for any odd behavior she is exhibiting.

    And as far as filling a niche...I would say you are and admirably. I can't wait to see more. I just always figured that the assumption would be that the Jedi would 'know' who killed someone and therefore there would be no mystery, so I love how and what you are doing.

    PP
  21. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    pregnantpadme:
    OH man...where do I start?
    the beginning? O:)

    I've never really cared about Zekk one way or the other...so his death isn't breaking my heart...the idea that Tahiri might be killing off other Jedi...lol, I don't mind so much that they are dying, only that Tahiri might be to blame.

    So, as long as it's not Tahiri that is doing the killing I can slaughter the entire order???? [face_dancing]

    I loved you paragraph when Ben hears the details of what Tahiri has gone through and is outraged that the Jedi didn't do more for her or realize that she may have needed help. As most people who have ever been within 10 Cyber feet of my know, the mutalization (edit: of her personality) of Tahiri Veila (edit: in profic) is a big obsession of mine. I like the explanation you're giving for any odd behavior she is exhibiting.

    Yes, it has annoyed me to no end that the trails and tribulations these characters go through, and they never get any specialized help. They're punished beyond belief, and they are supposed to be perfect the by their next appearance?? As well, it does make the Jedi seem rather incompetent that a 13yo kid can pick up on that, while everyone else has their nose stuck in the air.

    And as far as filling a niche...I would say you are and admirably. I can't wait to see more. I just always figured that the assumption would be that the Jedi would 'know' who killed someone and therefore there would be no mystery, so I love how and what you are doing.

    Thanks, it's great to hear things like that :), as for more, it's coming as I'm working on chapter 4 even now (as well as doing random viggies for the Twisted Sister's First Sentence Challenge) but like I said a few posts ago, I'll be in California on a business trip next week, so depending on the Net connection supplied, I may not be able to actually post the story. As for the Jedi 'knowing' who killed someone, that depends on the writer. In profic, if the plot requires the Jedi be able to know that, then they do, otherwise they don't. The Force is treated as the world's biggest deus ex machina. Personally, my opinion on the Force, should be that it can provide insight but no answers, even if the plot would resolve easier if it would provide answers.


  22. _ThatJediScum_ Jedi Master

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    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    I don't think Tahiri is the one killing the Jedi. Is it wrong of me to suspect Jacen?

    I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in Luke and the other Jedi for automatically thinking it was Tahiri without much evidence.

    bran
  23. Kidan TFN EU Staff

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    ThatJediScum:
    I don't think Tahiri is the one killing the Jedi. Is it wrong of me to suspect Jacen?

    It's not wrong of you to suspect anyone. Neither the reader nor Ben knows who is doing it, so it is perfectly reasonable to suspect Jacen. Personally, I suspect Yoda. [face_whistling] ;) [face_laugh]

    I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in Luke and the other Jedi for automatically thinking it was Tahiri without much evidence.

    One must remember that Ben is still a 13 year old learner. He will not necessarily have the same insights into the Force as the older, more experienced Jedi. Especially, since his default state is to be shut down in the Force. As well, his opinions, thoughts and feelings (which is all that the reader gets to experience) are not exactly reliable especially where Tahiri is concerned due to his infatuation with her. Since Ben does not know everything, he is by definition an unreliable narrator.

  24. emeraldshadow Jedi Youngling

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    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    My, my, my there does seem to be a sudden influx of Tahiri/Ben on the board.

    Chapter One:

    I was, oh, thirteen at the time, which meant that she, was twenty-four, but that did not matter one bit to me.

    Hmm, that age difference doesn?t seem right. I?ll have to go look it up but I?m pretty sure Tahiri is either fourteen or fifteen years older than Ben.

    ?Are you an angel?? is what tumbled out of my mouth, much to my horror. ?I, I read about them, they are supposed to be the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy. They?re from the moons of Iego I think.?

    Awww, Benny boy is using grampa?s pick up lines. Too cute.

    When I got home, I began digging through my boxes and belongings. I had remembered getting something on Naboo a few years earlier that I wanted to give her.

    Ooh! Methinks Ben has inherited more than Ani?s pick up lines.

    The one word that I could understand as she ran off was ?Ani.?

    Yes, but with all these prequel tie-ins, how can we know which Ani is our girl talking about?

    Chapter Two:

    Huh, I guess it actually was Anakin Solo Tahiri was talking about. So there?s not going to be any time travel involved? The prequel references were just simple references? Now I?m extremely disappointed.

    It was early the next morning when Jacen found the body.

    Okay, murder is almost as good as time traveling love quadrilateral involving a girl, her dead boyfriend?s grandfather, one of his other grandsons, and a certain senator from Naboo. Almost.

    Just for the record, I would have totally supported a Anakin Skywalker/Tahiri ship, a Ben/Ani duel over Tahiri, or a showdown between Tahiri and Padme over Ani, but I guess it isn?t in the cards.


    This is Valin?s lightsabre. It works, so whose lightsabre does that crystal belong to??

    Our first clue! Despite what I said before, I am all over a murder mystery (though I shall probably keep my theories to myself).

    the great slash in his stomach, which made me realize just where whoever did this got the rope.

    Okay, say it with me now: ?Ewwwwwww!?

    Of Tahiri, all I felt was the echo of her Force presence.

    Dun, dun, dun!

    Chapter Three:

    So, Jaina helped Tahiri merge with Riina, and everyone assumed that that solved all her problems? I mean she was tortured and shaped, then Anakin was killed, plus there has to be some type of withdrawal symptoms or, or something from the joining with the Killiks. We just ignored it all??

    Yeah Ben, aren?t your elders smart?:rolleyes:

    Sitting in the seat that Tahiri had sat in just days before was Zekk. Zekk, who had been through so much, sat and stared sightlessly at the podium, with a blackened hole where his heart should have been.[b/]

    Noooooooo! Nooooooo! Not my Zekk! Noooooo! Why Kidan? Why? Couldn't you have killed off some other minor character (or major character, i don't care) instead? Why did it have to be Zekk? [/whining]

    You are doing a spectacular job with this one. You?ve got me hooked. I am looking forward to more and shall have to fly to California and hunt you down if the next post doesn?t come soon. :D

    Just one more thing: Zekk!:_| :_| :_|

  25. pregnantpadme Jedi Master

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    Oct 25, 2004
    star 4

    the beginning?
    and you write comedy too?

    So, as long as it's not Tahiri that is doing the killing I can slaughter the entire order????
    [face_thinking]
    Yeah...pretty much...

    Yes, it has annoyed me to no end that the trails and tribulations these characters go through, and they never get any specialized help. They're punished beyond belief, and they are supposed to be perfect the by their next appearance??
    See my PM for that!

    As well, it does make the Jedi seem rather incompetent that a 13yo kid can pick up on that, while everyone else has their nose stuck in the air.
    I agree

    Thanks, it's great to hear things like that
    You are most welcome. I'm a big believer in showing praise where it is due, I know that I thrive on the feedback I get and it helps me write, and though I have a story that I have been working on for along time and the overall tale is worked out in my head and notes, I do live to squeeze in aspects of my readers comments into my stories when I can.

    (as well as doing random viggies for the Twisted Sister's First Sentence Challenge)[/n]
    I've seen that written places. I'll check them out.

    As for the Jedi 'knowing' who killed someone, that depends on the writer. In profic, if the plot requires the Jedi be able to know that, then they do, otherwise they don't. The Force is treated as the world's biggest deus ex machina. Personally, my opinion on the Force, should be that it can provide insight but no answers, even if the plot would resolve easier if it would provide answers.
    Well said! I agree. All the more interesting that you are the first I can think of to do this.


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