JCC JCC, I'm sick and tired...

*Beats up Frieda's cold*

 

If you can handle it, chew a raw clove of garlic.

 

Poor Frieda! I've got nothing better than the standard bed and fluids.

 

OMIGOD right? I had a cough for SIX WEEKS. It was laaaaame.

 

Well, raw garlic won't make you smell GREAT, but it'll ease your congestion. Also what Tracy said...I'm having mint tea right now with honey and it's helping my bastard of a cold.

 

Mmmmm. I would drink green tea with raw honey and lemon, JUST CUZ! Not because I was sick.

 

I second this. And of course you get cuddles!

 

2 oz whiskey
1 tablespoon honey
4 oz hot water
1 tsp lemon juice
1 slice fresh lemon (if you have it... if not, doesn't matter)

 

Probiotics will help as well. They give your immune system a boost.

 

Do you have any ginger? Vodka, honey and ginger is great for a cold.

 

Listen to Christmas music.

 

Codeine, morphine, and heroin will cure what ails you. It's an old family remedy.

 

Yeah, but be careful... the heroin may give you a tummy ache, and the codeine will make you constipated as ****.

 

Go out into the wilds where no man has trodden. Collect 1 pot full of fresh fallen snow. Steal straight away to your home and heat the snow in a clay pot until it melts and comes to a boil. Now remove the snow from the fire, and wait until it has cooled entirely to room temperature again. Now heat it to a boil a second time, and use the boiling water to strain out mint tea from organically grown leaves. Drink it after the sun has set and when the moon in its phase is under partial cloud cover. This cure will now begin to work, and in two weeks you will be healed from your original ailment.

 

here's what you need to do frieda. first you need to head down to you local walgreen's. once you're there, stand outside the front entrance. while facing east flash a flashlight three times. a dark wizard will appear. DO NOT LOOK HIM IN THE EYE. the wizard will say some words in a language you do not understand. don't worry, it's not important. after he is done you will need to repeat the following phrase: "what is done is done. all past deeds are forgotten. from this day forth, by his lordship the great vjarkhold, i forsake the light and embrace the dark." now the wizard will let forth an ear piercing scream. you will be tempted to look him in the eye. DON'T DO IT. the wizard will then give you a golden key that opens a hidden door in the public library, a map, and a quest. fulfill your quest and your cold will be cured! good luck.