JCC JCC, what do you do when a complete stranger sends you a random bat?

A long, thin package was delivered to my address yesterday, but I didn't check it out until this morning. It's addressed to me, with my correct address. Upon opening it, it was a Louisville slugger bat, but I think it's a little league bat, as it's pretty light and seems a little shorter than a regulation MLB bat. The receipt said it was paid for with the credit card of a guy from Pennsylvania, and purchased from a San Diego-based store.

I just don't know what to do from here. None of my life experiences have prepared me for this, and I'm pretty sure the std. protocol for this kind of situation is to send the damn bat back to the store and hope neither the store nor the buyer ever send me anything again.

I guess I could go play some baseball?

 

Flip it.

 

Could make a handy nightstick? If it's too light to do damage you could always put some nails in it.

 

Call the shop, explain, have them pay to have it shipped back to them.

 

Pretty sure fleeing the planet is the only rational response.

 

I make a thread about it because I have no friends to talk about the most mundane happenings of my life.

 

dayum

 

I'd start sleeping with it if I were you.

 

I would throw the bat back.

 

Draw flowers and put glitter all over it and send it back.

 

Store it next to your batphone in your batcave.

 

Hmmm...well, you could call the store and ask them to send a pre-paid return label. Or you could simply follow the advice of some smarter folks in this thread.

 

Prepare

 

Practice whispering loudly, "I am bat-man!"

 

Is that what they call dildos these days?

 

what makes you think I bother with dildos?