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JCC JCCNN: It's Back, Dammit:Interview with Obi-Zahn Kenobi!

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rogue1-and-a-half, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. yankee8255

    yankee8255 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 31, 2005

    Brilliant job, 1.5.
  2. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    RH: Good evening, I’m Rogue1-and-a-half and welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy! We have a great show for you tonight. Let’s welcome our guests. First up, we have Kimball_Kinnison.

    KK: And I’d better win too. *lays a 357 Magnum on his podium*

    RH: That’s terrifying. Next up, we have VadersLaMent.

    VLM: Gooooooooooooo science!

    RH: And last of all, we have darthtunick.

    DT: Good to be here.

    RH: I wish I knew how he did that. Alright, let’s take a look at the categories. American History; Scientific Facts . . .

    VLM: Hell ya!

    RH: Hot Celebrities That Appear to Be Underage . . .

    VLM: OH hell ya!

    RH: Oh, forget it. We’ll start with tunick. Please pick a category.

    DT: I’ll take American History for 100.

    RH: Okay, here we go. A formal change or addition to the written text of a constitution.


    RH: Yes, Kimball?

    KK: Yes, I should first note that these are, in many nations of the world, initially added into the written constitution via the revision of the original written text with any necessary deletions or addition of extra clauses taking place in the aftermath of that original revision. It is less common for the change to be simply added to the end of the written document as a sort of extra clause initially and then any necessary revisions made to the original document as a secondary measure. In short, the items in question can be added to the original document in what are essentially two directly opposite manners.

    RH: . . .

    KK: Now, to speak statistically about these differences is to see quite a striking difference in the varying use of the methods. If you will allow me to briefly invoke a few studies you will see that, in point of fact, conventional wisdom is actually incorrect. While the layman might believe that the . . .


    RH: Okay, DT, why don’t you pick another category?

    DT: I’ll take Scientific Facts for 100. Even though I hate it.

    RH: No editorializing.

    DT: Do you know who you’re talking to?

    RH: Right, right, I’m stupid. Okay, Scientific Facts for 100. The process by which molecules of a solvent pass through a semipermeable membrane.


    RH: Yes, VadersLaMent.

    VLM: What is osmosis?


    VLM: Wait, what . . .

    RH: I’m so sorry, the answer is actually “magic.”

    VLM: I . . . wait . . . that . . .

    RH: Okay, let’s shake things up. Kimball, please pick a category.

    KK: So, as can plainly be seen, while many might find the parliamentary process required in Ireland to change the thrust of the written constitution to be cumbersome, it is in fact one of the most effective and representative . . .

    RH: DT, please pick a category.

    DT: Let’s take Scientific Facts for 200.

    RH: All right, Scientific Facts for 200. A type of energy fueled by the transfer of electrons from positive and negative points within a conductor.


    RH: Yes, VLM?

    VLM: What is electricity?


    VLM: Oh for . . .

    RH: I’m sorry, the correct answer is “the mighty power of God.”

    VLM: Okay . . . okay . . . that is not . . .

    RH: Okay, let’s . . .


    RH: Yes, tunick? Or, wait, what are you doing?

    *DT is slumped over his podium*

    VLM: I think he fell asleep listening to Kimball.

    KK: Some of the most famous examples of these include the Forty-Third Amendment to the Icelandic Constitution, which outlawed the hunting of trolls, the Tenth Amendment to the American Constitution, which allowed the ownership of bazookas, a surprisingly prescient amendment since it was actually passed in the early 1800s . . .

    RH: Okay, let’s just cut his mike.

    KK: *placing hand on .357 Magnum* I consider this microphone my personal property.

    RH: Okay, look, let’s just do Final Jeopardy. Somebody wake up tunick.

    VLM: There’s really no point.

    RH: Fair enough. The category is Your Middle Name. Simply write your middle name. And since I don’t know your middle names, you could essentially write anything and win.

    *lights dim; music plays*

    RH: Okay, let’s see what we have here. Kimball, you . . . drew a picture of Ender_Sai coming through your front door and you shooting him in the face . . .

    KK: He tracked in mud. And that carpet is my personal property.

    RH: And you wagered . . . 1500 mortar rounds. Okay, let’s take a look at Tunick.

    DT: *snoring*

    RH: And you wrote . . . a huge pool of drool. And you wagered an even larger pool of drool.

    VLM: Okay, let’s wrap this up.

    RH: And you wrote the value of Pi to five hundred decimal places.

    VLM: I’m impressed that you knew that.

    RH: You wrote “This is the value of Pi to five hundred decimal places” right next to it. And for your wager, you wrote the definition of Pi.

    VLM: You are a Republican.

    RH: Okay, let’s just close this thing out. Once again, we have no winners at all.

    VLM: And a Christian.

    *music plays*

    Dark Lady Mara, Rew, halibut and 12 others like this.
  3. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
  4. TheGuardianofArlon

    TheGuardianofArlon Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 26, 2007
  5. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent Chosen One star 10

    Apr 3, 2002
    The funny thing is I do not have a middle name.
    Rogue1-and-a-half likes this.
  6. CT-867-5309

    CT-867-5309 Force Ghost star 6

    Jan 5, 2011
    That was a brilliant stylized impersonation of KK.
  7. Point Given

    Point Given Mod of Literature and Community star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Dec 12, 2006
    I don't get the humor, therefore I'll make a post about it.
  8. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Mar 4, 2011
  9. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    I'm hardly going to have to exaggerate anything when you show up in one of these.
  10. TheGuardianofArlon

    TheGuardianofArlon Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 26, 2007
    You don't have to even make it up, just ask me to be actually in it, and you'll get the same result.
  11. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    RH: Good evening, I’m Rogue1-and-a-half and this is Inside the Cliques, where every week we take an in-depth look at one of the cliques in the JCC. Here with us tonight is solojones, representing a clique that’s dedicated to a television show of some kind.

    *shot widens into a two shot*

    RH: Oh for the love of . . . look, we’re trying to do a show here. Could someone get this hobo off the set?

    SJ: Rogue, it’s me.

    RH: Oh, heh heh. Right. I like the look. Very unpretentious. Homeless chic.

    SJ: I haven’t combed my hair for fifteen years!

    RH: Very nice. *ahem* Well, let’s get into the clique that you’re part of. I understand that you’re dedicated to a television show about a doctor of some kind.

    SJ: Doctor Who.

    RH: Yes, that’s what I’m hoping to find out.

    SJ: No, I mean, we love the television show called Doctor Who.

    RH: I’m sorry, I’m still a little confused. You love the television show about Doctor who?

    SJ: Yup.

    RH: . . .

    SJ: . . .

    RH: Okay, let’s try this again. If I was going to watch this television show, I would be watching a show about Doctor who?

    SJ: Yup.

    RH: So, the show is called Doctor who?

    SJ: Yup.

    RH: You’re a huge fan of Doctor who?

    SJ: Yup.

    RH: Okay, so this clique is dedicated to Doctor Yup.

    SJ: It’s dedicated to Doctor Who.

    RH: Yup?

    SJ: Yup.

    RH: We . . . yes . . . okay . . . good . . . I guess . . .

    *awkward silence*

    RH: Well, it appears that’s all the time we have. Be sure to join me next time on Inside the Cliques when we’ll look at LACWAC. Clique or the sound of Donald Duck choking to death? We’ll find out next time. Once again, thanks to solojones for getting us inside the Doctor Yup clique.

    SJ: . . . um . . .what . . . wait . . .

  12. Ramza

    Ramza Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP

    Jul 13, 2008
    Someday the Doctor is going to play baseball in the vicinity of Abbott and Costello.

    All hell will break loose.
  13. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Nov 28, 2000
    No, what's on second.
  14. RC-1991

    RC-1991 Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 2, 2009
    I'm just waiting for him to do either A) Lit, or B) one of his Journey Through the X threads.

    Hilarious as always, Rogue!
  15. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Aug 16, 2002
    I was hoping for an in-depth discussion and an excuse to post a fan-made music video. :(
  16. Ender Sai

    Ender Sai Chosen One star 10

    Feb 18, 2001
    Slightly redundant, since that's 90% of all the Episode VII threads.

    It's like... I don't even know what it's like. A special needs school where every meal is just Skittles.
    yankee8255 likes this.
  17. Ender Sai

    Ender Sai Chosen One star 10

    Feb 18, 2001
    Also, this is what your KK reminds me of:

    Darth Guy likes this.
  18. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    Yeah, I almost didn't know how to put this post in the thread title since the bit's really not even remotely about Doctor Who or the clique.
  19. Lady_Sami_J_Kenobi

    Lady_Sami_J_Kenobi Jedi Master star 6

    Jul 31, 2002
    Can't believe I missed this thread before. Great work, RH! Can't wait for the next one.
  20. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Mar 14, 2004
    this was terrible.

    *throws tomatoes*
  21. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    RH: Good evening, I’m Rogue1-and-a-half and this is JCCNN. Tonight, we have a very special roundtable with four very special guests. But first, let’s check in with our special correspondent to the Comms forum, farraday. Let’s go live to him now. Farraday, are you there?

    *shot of farraday making out with a wolf*

    RH: Actually, no.

    *awkward pause*

    RH: Well, let’s move on to our main feature for tonight. One of the most surprising and innovative things to happen as a result of the JC move was the reintegration of forums that had previously split off into spin-off forums back together. Tonight we’re looking at what happened in the JCC. Three forums, the Amphitheatre, the Senate and the Arena, again became a part of the JCC. Here tonight are mods from all four forums affected to talk about that transition.

    Representing the JCC is GrandAdmiralJello.

    GAJ: Salve.

    RH: I’m sorry? You need some?

    GAJ: It’s Latin.

    RH: (under breath) Oh, here we go.

    GAJ: What?

    RH: Salve to you too.

    GAJ: Also, since it’s pronounced “sal-we” isn’t that joke dependent on this being read as a post instead of watched as a television show, which is, I believe, the conceit.

    RH: I’m breaking the fourth wall.

    GAJ: That’s not funny.

    RH: I’m thinking about breaking your legs. Representing the Arena, we have Darth McClain.

    *shot of empty chair*

    RH: What the . . .

    *We Will Rock You begins blasting as DM dramatically walks in and sits down*

    RH: . . .

    DM: So sue me.

    RH: I’m considering it. Representing the Senate we have SuperWatto.

    SW: You have any proof to back up that assertion?

    RH: I . . .I’m sorry?

    SW: Senate joke. Ha ha ha ha.

    RH: . . . good one.

    SW: We like to have a good time in the Senate. Lots of laughs.

    RH: So I’ve heard.

    DM: I thought those were screams.

    SW: Of laughter.

    DM: It sounded like Jedi Merkurian . . . begging for his life . . .

    SW: You have any proof to back up that assertion?

    RH: Okay, let’s move on for God’s sake. Representing the Amphitheatre we have Zaz.

    *shot of empty chair*

    RH: Please tell me he doesn’t need entrance music.

    GAJ: I’m trying to imagine what that would be.

    SW: Carmina Burana.

    *sound of loud hammering*

    Z: (off screen) Rogue! Rogue! Open the door! I’m locked out!

    RH: Did you hear something?

    DM: I thought I heard a mouse.

    SW: Do you have any pro-


    Z: (off screen) Rogue?

    RH: I’ll have to set out some traps. Okay, so these four forums have all been reintegrated back together. Were there any reservations about such a move?

    GAJ: Frankly, we’ve always thought of the Amp as kind of a reservation.

    RH: . . .

    GAJ: I thought you were Belgian.

    SW: There were reservations, sure. I mean, what would the JCC think about having a group of wild-hearted partiers like the Senate regulars come rushing into their forum? I mean, we’re pretty clownish! Some would say we’ve lightened things up too much in JCC!

    RH: I think what was actually said was that your arrival in the JCC made everyone feel like they’d been struck by lightning.

    SW: Whatever. We’re not really into details in the Senate.

    RH: What about the Arena? Any concerns there?

    DM: Well, you know, this forum essentially being a complete inversion of the real world, it’s the jocks who get picked on around here.

    RH: I’ve noticed that.

    DM: So . . .

    *GAJ pants DM*

    RH: hahaha you do make me laugh so

    DM: Not funny, guys!

    *SW hits DM in the face with a pie*

    DM: I’m (voice cracks) serious!

    RH: Okay, okay, let’s calm down here.

    GAJ: It would be interesting to get the Amp’s perspective on things.

    RH: Well, since Zaz isn’t here . . .

    *loud hammering*

    RH: I guess I could make a few comments about that. I mean, the main concern in creating the Amp was because the sort of threads that were more intelligent were getting pushed to the third or fourth page by other JCC threads.

    SW: In all fairness, that was only happening because most of the intelligent threads were your hosted discussions and you post to those at the rate of one post every seventy-two weeks.

    RH: You make a good point. Well, in closing, have there been many problems with the integration as it has gone forward?

    SW: There have been some hurt feelings. There was that rant about the Arena being “a pimple.”

    DM: But it is a pimple covered by a neckbeard.

    GAJ: It’s been difficult for people to adjust to the fact that all posts in the JCC have to be in Latin.

    RH: AAAAH doesn’t post in Latin.

    GAJ: He gets a pass because his posts are Greek to me.

    RH: . . .

    GAJ: A little intellectual humor.

    SW: You have any proof to back up that assertion? AHAHAHAHAHA

    DM: And then there’s that.

    SW: What do you mean?

    RH: Jello, what about the assertions that you’re too pretentious to mod the JCC?

    GAJ: Completely unfounded. As Cicero once said . . .

    RH: Okay, okay, shut up.

    DM: What about the allegations that you’re plotting a coup to set yourself up as Emperor?

    GAJ: All lies.

    RH: Well, interestingly enough, our in-depth journalistic process has uncovered this message from you, Jello.

    GAJ: I’m sorry, your in-depth what?

    RH: We went through your mail. Anyway, I notice that it says “Rimbygay ustmay ieday.”

    GAJ: I didn’t know you could read Latin.

    SW: Excuse me, but how much longer is this going to be? Us Senate folks aren’t much for long posts.

    RH: Well, we’re almost done.

    SW: Good. Brevity is the soul of wit.

    DM: Yeah, let’s wrap this up. I thought it was going to be more like Around the Horn.

    RH: Well, I could definitely use a mute button. But I suppose there’s nothing more to say. Once again, thanks to all our special guests. SuperWatto from the Senate, Grand Admiral Jello from the JCC, DM from the Arena and Zaz from the Amphitheatre.

    *door flies open; Zaz enters, riding a moose*

  22. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    KansasNavy: *voice over* Tonight! A special report on a scandal rocking the Jedi Council Community! A barely tolerated user is discovered to have been living a lie! Join Rogue1-and-a-half as he asks the tough questions . . .

    *RH sitting across from AaylaSecurOWNED

    RH: And what brought on this mad charade?

    ASO: Dude. I’m a real woman.

    RH: Don’t be ridiculous! Your breasts are so obviously fake as to be laughable!

    ASO: . . .

    RH: *reaches for breasts with both hands*

    ASO: *jams stun gun into RH’s neck*



    KN: *voice over* See the shocked reaction from the Community members!

    *RH standing opposite Jabbadabbado

    J: To all those who feel deeply emotionally hurt by this horrible revelation, I say SHUT THE **** UP!

    *RH standing next to VadersLaMent

    VLM: My vengeance was swift and merciless. The body of Juliet316 is even now sinking to the bottom of the Hudson River.

    RH: I have some bad news for you . . .


    KN: *voice over* A figure from the past weighs in!

    *RH chasing DarthSapient down the street*

    RH: Sape, please, just one comment! And take those panties off your head!

    KN: *voice over* And hear from the controversial figure at the heart of the scandal!

    *RH sitting across from ASG*

    RH: Anything to say?

    ASG: These accusations are groundless! I’m a woman and here’s a picture to prove it!


    RH: . . . that’s the Mona Lisa . . .

    ASG: I did some modeling when I was younger.

    KN: *voice over* And our anchor faces some tough questions himself.

    *RH & harpuah talking*

    H: Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be making a mockery of this scandalous affair?

    RH: You know what they say. Comedy is tragedy plus time.

    H: And by time?

    RH: You know, one hour. Maybe two?

    *RH standing dramatically in front of a backdrop of the world*

    RH: Join me tonight for a special two hour broadcast! *points finger dramatically at camera* The balls are in your court, Juli!


    EDIT: Migod, six frigging edits. I rushed this one out and it showed.
  23. Juliet316

    Juliet316 Chosen One star 10

    Apr 27, 2005
    *my ghost stands behind @VadersLaMent*

    VadersLaMent likes this.
  24. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Nicely done!! [face_laugh][face_laugh]
  25. Todd the Jedi

    Todd the Jedi Mod and Soliloquist of SWTV star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Oct 16, 2008
    That Community mod roundtable one is priceless! Poor, poor Zaz. :p
    Rogue1-and-a-half likes this.