Discussion in 'Community' started by Rogue1-and-a-half, Jan 7, 2013.
Holy ****... this about ****ing killed me.
Mona Lisa Smile "Girl". So it is written.
now I realize what my personal pathology is: I can't tell the difference between comedy and tragedy.
The Mona Lisa made me literally lol. Haha.
Apparently there is news about the real Mona Lisa painting also. Now this is an amazing coincidence
AFAIK, the first time I've ever used this smiley. Brilliance.
RH: Good evening, this is Rogue1-and-a-half at the anchor desk of JCCNN. Tonight, a special report from farraday, on assignment in the Comms forum. Farraday, are you there?
F: I’m here, Rogue.
RH: Excellent. Now, you called in with a report that some kind of earth-shattering event had occurred in the Comms forum. Why don’t you fill us in on that?
F: Earth-shattering doesn’t even begin to describe it, Rogue. In short, a user has actually posted in the forum.
RH: My God, sir!
F: Yes, it’s true. Even more shocking: this user is a moderator. Here with me today is
@MarcusP2. I have some questions, Marcus.
F: Number one: What in the blue **** are you doing here?
M: I took a wrong turn at the Oceania Fan Force.
F: I guess this explains why your post in this forum was “OH GOD PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME I AM TOTALLY ALONE AND HUNGRY.”
M: Don’t happen to have a granola bar, do you?
F: I’ve been surviving by eating pebbles.
M: That would be a no?
M: Okay. Well, ha ha, I do appreciate you saving me from that wolf pack.
F: No problem. You’re lucky I’ve been here long enough to learn their simple, yet beautiful, language.
M: Well, they were definitely going to eat my legs, so thank you. What exactly did you say to them?
F: That if they would wait until after I interviewed you that they could have your arms too.
M: I wondered why they were lurking there.
F: So one last question.
M: Given the wolves, I have all the time in the world. Let’s really get in depth here.
F: You’ll have a better chance if you start running before nightfall.
M: Okay, well, let’s wrap this up then.
F: Okay, I’m just wondering about the fact that the Comms forum is so dead. Why is that?
@Grimby has ordered that any non-mod who comes here is to be killed by predator drones.
F: I survived.
M: We thought you were a bear.
F: I knew not shaving would come in handy one day. So, I recall that there was a time when the Mod Squad released a sort of news bulletin every week, a Mod Squad Update, that was used to keep the regular users up on what the mods were doing. Any plans to bring that back?
F: Why not?
M: Because we’re not doing anything right now.
F: I . . .
M: Nothing. Not a thing.
F: I . . . see. Well, I guess the upside is that no one will have to take on your responsibilities when you’re murdered by the wolves.
M: Speaking of that . . .
F: Yes, night will be falling shortly. I will tell you to head toward the setting sun. Set a steady pace for yourself. You don’t want to run as it will tire you too quickly. Never stop moving. If you can preserve your stamina, you’ll come to an old thread about DarthSapient; get inside and lock the doors until morning. The rumors that he still wanders the halls, moaning like a damned soul, are most likely unfounded. Most likely.
M: god i don’t want to die i havent really lived
F: Well, that’s your problem. *lights a torch and passes it to M* Here. Use the power of man’s red flower. There is nothing else I can do for you.
M: oh god oh god down boy *jogging out of frame*
I have robots that roam the skies.
There are only 4 people here who know who Farraday was.
I used to call him Kirchhoff. Good times.
I know it. I'll keep him in every one of these JCCNN things I do though. He was the frigging well-spring of it all.
M: Because we’re not doing anything right now.
F: I . . .
M: Nothing. Not a thing.
I resent the implication I would look for Oceania Fan Force.
And what is a granola bar?
farraday always had such nice things to say about me. I think I drove him into a frothing rage once.
He was a mod here once, right?
Aw...no actual farraday? Now that's a shame. He knew how to party.
I liked mod squad updates.for reals.
I liked the mod squad updates, too. They were funny. And I also remember farrady, vaguely.
farraday mostly comes out at night. Mostly.
Edit: This reminds me that I once attempted to cyber with Iron Parrot. It did not end well.
Farraday sounds familiar, but I have no idea why.
Gawd these posts are effing brilliant! Keep em' up! I'm in stitches over here in Minnesnowta.
Iron Parrot! Now there's a name I haven't heard in AGES.
RH: Good evening, this is Rogue1-and-a-half and it’s time once again for Celebrity Jeopardy. Yes, despite my promises to end my life before I would do this again, here I am. *glares off camera* I’d be propped up at my desk right now with an incoherent note in front of me if KansasNavy hadn’t hidden my bullets.
But enough about that. Let’s meet our guests. First of all, it’s
GAJ: E Publius Oneum.
RH: Even I know that’s not right. Next up, it’s
B: Hi . . .
*B is pelted with tomatoes thrown from the audience*
RH: When life hands you tomatoes, make tomato juice, I always say. And finally, it’s
J: 35 Ancient Pyramids Discovered in the Sudan
RH: Right, whatever. Anyway, the show tonight promises to end all hope for humanity, so let’s get right to it. Our categories for tonight are Things That Have Nothing to Do With What Happened on This Day in History . . .
RH: Things That Have Nothing To Do With Wacky News Stories . . .
RH: And Things That Only Cool People Know About.
RH: Now then, we . . .
RH: Yes, Jello, what is it?
GAJ: I just wanted to point out that from now on I will be speaking only Latin tonight.
RH: *takes a swig from a small bottle* Fine, fine, sure. Now, beezel, despite the fact that I haven’t even asked a question yet, you’re somehow already have -$14,000.
B: I can explain that.
RH: Yeah, please don’t. Anyway, beez, I’m gonna let you choose the category.
B: I’ll take Things That Have Nothing To Do With Wacky News Stories.
J: *grinds teeth*
RH: Please remember that this has nothing to do with wacky news stories and to please phrase your answers in the form of a question. The direction opposite down.
RH: Yes, Jello?
GAJ: Bleeble blooble blabble.
RH: . . .
GAJ: I’ll pause to allow your control room to translate that from Latin into English for the subtitles.
RH: *touches earpiece* Actually, the control room says that is no language known to man. Okay, um, that is incorrect.
RH: Yes, beezel?
B: What is bleeble blooble blabble?
RH: Yeah, you don’t want to do that.
RH: *sigh* Yes, Juliet?
J: Congress continues debt-ceiling debate
J: Hey, that one’s not wacky!
RH: I might argue that point, actually. Okay, let’s see, Juliet, why don’t you pick a . . .
*MAN PUSHING DOLLY enters*
RH: Um, what the hell . . .
MPD: Yeah, is there a beezel here?
B: That’s me.
MPD: Okay, we’re going to have to take your podium. We have an order from your ex-roommate.
B: My . . . my podium . . .?
RH: Actually, that’s OUR podium.
MPD: Hey, talk to the judge. *loads podium onto dolly and pushes it out*
B: You know what? That’s okay. Who needs a podium? I have a miniature one right here. *pulls podium out of backpack and set it down*
RH: That podium doesn’t even come up to your knees.
B: I’ll make do.
RH: I’m not even going to ask why you had that in your backpack. You know what? Let’s just go to Final Jeopardy. What does everybody think about that?
GAJ: Hurple durpledy bebor.
RH: I’m going to take that as a yes. The category is Your Favorite Color. To win, just write down any color. I won’t even know if you’re lying or not. Just write down any color at all and you will win.
RH: Okay, let’s see what we have. Juliet, it seems that you wrote Ohio Woman Dies After Pet Lllama Knocks Her Down. And you wagered . . . 100 Man Sues Wife for Giving Birth to Ugly Babys. Okay, I don’t know how that’s even a currency. Jello, what did you write for your answer?
GAJ: Gurdumble . . .
RH: Let me just stop you right there. And I see that you wagered “100,000 fnarfels.” Okay, beez, what about you? It looks like you just scrawled randomly on your screen . . .
B: *clutching the pen* ITS TOO TINY
RH: Well, I guess . . .
B: WHY WOULD SHE NEED A PODIUM
RH: Hard to say.
*B picks up the miniature podium and flings it angrily, striking GAJ in the head and knocking him unconscious*
J: Man Beaten with Jeopardy Podium