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JCC JCCNN: It's Back, Dammit:Interview with Obi-Zahn Kenobi!

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rogue1-and-a-half, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. harpua

    harpua Chosen One star 9

    Mar 12, 2005
    Holy ****... this about ****ing killed me. :p
  2. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent 2017 Celebrity Deathpool Winner star 10

    Apr 3, 2002
    Mona Lisa Smile "Girl". So it is written.
  3. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Mar 19, 1999

    now I realize what my personal pathology is: I can't tell the difference between comedy and tragedy.
    SuperWatto and Rogue1-and-a-half like this.
  4. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    The Mona Lisa made me literally lol. Haha.
    Rogue1-and-a-half likes this.
  5. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent 2017 Celebrity Deathpool Winner star 10

    Apr 3, 2002
    Apparently there is news about the real Mona Lisa painting also. Now this is an amazing coincidence
  6. yankee8255

    yankee8255 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 31, 2005

    AFAIK, the first time I've ever used this smiley. Brilliance.
  7. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    RH: Good evening, this is Rogue1-and-a-half at the anchor desk of JCCNN. Tonight, a special report from farraday, on assignment in the Comms forum. Farraday, are you there?

    F: I’m here, Rogue.

    RH: Excellent. Now, you called in with a report that some kind of earth-shattering event had occurred in the Comms forum. Why don’t you fill us in on that?

    F: Earth-shattering doesn’t even begin to describe it, Rogue. In short, a user has actually posted in the forum.

    RH: My God, sir!

    F: Yes, it’s true. Even more shocking: this user is a moderator. Here with me today is MarcusP2. I have some questions, Marcus.

    M: Sure.

    F: Number one: What in the blue **** are you doing here?

    M: I took a wrong turn at the Oceania Fan Force.

    F: I guess this explains why your post in this forum was “OH GOD PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME I AM TOTALLY ALONE AND HUNGRY.”

    M: Don’t happen to have a granola bar, do you?

    F: I’ve been surviving by eating pebbles.

    M: That would be a no?

    F: Yes.

    M: Okay. Well, ha ha, I do appreciate you saving me from that wolf pack.

    F: No problem. You’re lucky I’ve been here long enough to learn their simple, yet beautiful, language.

    M: Well, they were definitely going to eat my legs, so thank you. What exactly did you say to them?

    F: That if they would wait until after I interviewed you that they could have your arms too.

    M: I wondered why they were lurking there.

    F: So one last question.

    M: Given the wolves, I have all the time in the world. Let’s really get in depth here.

    F: You’ll have a better chance if you start running before nightfall.

    M: Okay, well, let’s wrap this up then.

    F: Okay, I’m just wondering about the fact that the Comms forum is so dead. Why is that?

    M: Grimby has ordered that any non-mod who comes here is to be killed by predator drones.

    F: I survived.

    M: We thought you were a bear.

    F: I knew not shaving would come in handy one day. So, I recall that there was a time when the Mod Squad released a sort of news bulletin every week, a Mod Squad Update, that was used to keep the regular users up on what the mods were doing. Any plans to bring that back?

    M: No.

    F: Why not?

    M: Because we’re not doing anything right now.

    F: I . . .

    M: Nothing. Not a thing.

    F: I . . . see. Well, I guess the upside is that no one will have to take on your responsibilities when you’re murdered by the wolves.

    M: Speaking of that . . .

    F: Yes, night will be falling shortly. I will tell you to head toward the setting sun. Set a steady pace for yourself. You don’t want to run as it will tire you too quickly. Never stop moving. If you can preserve your stamina, you’ll come to an old thread about DarthSapient; get inside and lock the doors until morning. The rumors that he still wanders the halls, moaning like a damned soul, are most likely unfounded. Most likely.

    M: god i don’t want to die i havent really lived

    F: Well, that’s your problem. *lights a torch and passes it to M* Here. Use the power of man’s red flower. There is nothing else I can do for you.

    M: oh god oh god down boy *jogging out of frame*


    Darth McClain, RC-1991, Ramza and 2 others like this.
  8. Grimby

    Grimby Technical Consultant & Former Head Admin star 7 Staff Member Administrator

    Apr 22, 2000
    I have robots that roam the skies. [face_skull]
  9. jp-30

    jp-30 Manager Emeritus star 10 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Dec 14, 2000
    There are only 4 people here who know who Farraday was.
  10. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Dec 26, 2000
    I used to call him Kirchhoff. Good times. :p
  11. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    I know it. I'll keep him in every one of these JCCNN things I do though. He was the frigging well-spring of it all.
  12. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    M: Because we’re not doing anything right now.

    F: I . . .

    M: Nothing. Not a thing.

  13. MarcusP2

    MarcusP2 Games and Community Reaper star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 10, 2004
    I resent the implication I would look for Oceania Fan Force.

    And what is a granola bar?
    Rogue1-and-a-half likes this.
  14. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 19, 2000
    Granular shinola.
  15. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Nov 28, 2000
    farraday always had such nice things to say about me. I think I drove him into a frothing rage once.

    Good times.
  16. RC-1991

    RC-1991 Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 2, 2009
    He was a mod here once, right?
  17. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 4, 2002

    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  18. Fire_Ice_Death

    Fire_Ice_Death Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Feb 15, 2001 actual farraday? Now that's a shame. He knew how to party.
  19. mrsvos

    mrsvos Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Nov 18, 2005
    I liked mod squad updates.for reals.
  20. Lady_Sami_J_Kenobi

    Lady_Sami_J_Kenobi Jedi Master star 6

    Jul 31, 2002
    I liked the mod squad updates, too. They were funny. And I also remember farrady, vaguely.
  21. Katya Jade

    Katya Jade Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jan 19, 2002
    farraday mostly comes out at night. Mostly.
    GenAntilles likes this.
  22. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Malleus Maleficarum star 8 Staff Member Manager

    Aug 19, 2003

    Edit: This reminds me that I once attempted to cyber with Iron Parrot. It did not end well.
  23. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Force Ghost star 8

    Nov 20, 2012
    Farraday sounds familiar, but I have no idea why.

    Gawd these posts are effing brilliant! Keep em' up! I'm in stitches over here in Minnesnowta.
  24. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    Iron Parrot! Now there's a name I haven't heard in AGES.
  25. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    RH: Good evening, this is Rogue1-and-a-half and it’s time once again for Celebrity Jeopardy. Yes, despite my promises to end my life before I would do this again, here I am. *glares off camera* I’d be propped up at my desk right now with an incoherent note in front of me if KansasNavy hadn’t hidden my bullets.

    But enough about that. Let’s meet our guests. First of all, it’s GrandAdmiralJello

    GAJ: E Publius Oneum.

    RH: Even I know that’s not right. Next up, it’s beezel

    B: Hi . . .

    *B is pelted with tomatoes thrown from the audience*

    RH: When life hands you tomatoes, make tomato juice, I always say. And finally, it’s Juliet316

    J: 35 Ancient Pyramids Discovered in the Sudan

    RH: Right, whatever. Anyway, the show tonight promises to end all hope for humanity, so let’s get right to it. Our categories for tonight are Things That Have Nothing to Do With What Happened on This Day in History . . .

    J: Dammit.

    RH: Things That Have Nothing To Do With Wacky News Stories . . .

    J: Dammit!

    RH: And Things That Only Cool People Know About.

    J: DAMMIT!

    RH: Now then, we . . .


    RH: Yes, Jello, what is it?

    GAJ: I just wanted to point out that from now on I will be speaking only Latin tonight.

    RH: *takes a swig from a small bottle* Fine, fine, sure. Now, beezel, despite the fact that I haven’t even asked a question yet, you’re somehow already have -$14,000.

    B: I can explain that.

    RH: Yeah, please don’t. Anyway, beez, I’m gonna let you choose the category.

    B: I’ll take Things That Have Nothing To Do With Wacky News Stories.

    J: *grinds teeth*

    RH: Please remember that this has nothing to do with wacky news stories and to please phrase your answers in the form of a question. The direction opposite down.


    RH: Yes, Jello?

    GAJ: Bleeble blooble blabble.

    RH: . . .

    GAJ: I’ll pause to allow your control room to translate that from Latin into English for the subtitles.

    RH: *touches earpiece* Actually, the control room says that is no language known to man. Okay, um, that is incorrect.


    RH: Yes, beezel?

    B: What is bleeble blooble blabble?

    RH: Yeah, you don’t want to do that.


    RH: *sigh* Yes, Juliet?

    J: Congress continues debt-ceiling debate


    J: Hey, that one’s not wacky!

    RH: I might argue that point, actually. Okay, let’s see, Juliet, why don’t you pick a . . .

    *MAN PUSHING DOLLY enters*

    RH: Um, what the hell . . .

    MPD: Yeah, is there a beezel here?

    B: That’s me.

    MPD: Okay, we’re going to have to take your podium. We have an order from your ex-roommate.

    B: My . . . my podium . . .?

    RH: Actually, that’s OUR podium.

    MPD: Hey, talk to the judge. *loads podium onto dolly and pushes it out*

    B: You know what? That’s okay. Who needs a podium? I have a miniature one right here. *pulls podium out of backpack and set it down*

    RH: That podium doesn’t even come up to your knees.

    B: I’ll make do.

    RH: I’m not even going to ask why you had that in your backpack. You know what? Let’s just go to Final Jeopardy. What does everybody think about that?

    GAJ: Hurple durpledy bebor.

    RH: I’m going to take that as a yes. The category is Your Favorite Color. To win, just write down any color. I won’t even know if you’re lying or not. Just write down any color at all and you will win.

    *music plays*

    RH: Okay, let’s see what we have. Juliet, it seems that you wrote Ohio Woman Dies After Pet Lllama Knocks Her Down. And you wagered . . . 100 Man Sues Wife for Giving Birth to Ugly Babys. Okay, I don’t know how that’s even a currency. Jello, what did you write for your answer?

    GAJ: Gurdumble . . .

    RH: Let me just stop you right there. And I see that you wagered “100,000 fnarfels.” Okay, beez, what about you? It looks like you just scrawled randomly on your screen . . .

    B: *clutching the pen* ITS TOO TINY

    RH: Well, I guess . . .


    RH: Hard to say.

    *B picks up the miniature podium and flings it angrily, striking GAJ in the head and knocking him unconscious*

    J: Man Beaten with Jeopardy Podium