Jedi Dreams-please critique my first fan fiction

It's so much fun to let your inner child out, even if your own inner child was never as hyper as Axin. However, we must hear from the adults. Thank you for the comments.

***********************************************************************

Tebla sat in the front room, occupying herself with thread. To say that she was actually sewing would be too strong a word. Half an hour ago she had cut the thread, but she was yet to pass it through the needle's eye. Instead, she fingered it and worried about her friend. Zelle did not look well at all.

Putbil had been the first to notice that the new visitors had actually arrived.

"Who is that over at the Gantos house?" he had asked when he came back from the porcin pen. "Some sort of monk?" He described how the tall, hooded man had come to their door with scarcely a sound, then rung the bell. "I could see them through the window. Poor Zelle nearly leaped out of her skin. Sneaking up on them, it looked like. Who is it?"

"I don't know. She was so nervous, I thought it must be her in-laws. What was the other one like?" Tebla had asked. Putbil gave her a blank stare. "There were four plates," she had continued. (A hooded man wouldn't need two plates). They stared at each other for a moment, letting the thought sink in, then quickly walked into the dining nook to clear the table. Slowly. Taking time to peek across the yards at the visitors.

"Well," said Putbil. "It's definitely not the in-laws." There was an older man and a young boy, but they did not look related at all. The man was tall, well-built, leonine. The boy looked small and serious. Maybe the boy was adopted. Adopted. Maybe this was what it was about. Zelle and Ield had no children. Maybe they were trying to adopt this boy. Zelle hadn't said anything about it; neither had Ield. But why so secretive? What did Ield and Zelle have to hide?

Tebla went to close the dining nook windows. As she leaned out to reach the sash, she distinctly heard the boy say "Yes, Master." Master? Was this why he was so serious? Was the older man an Outer Rim slave trader? Was that the big secret? The boy got up and Zelle looked positively sick. Even Ield looked nervous now. What was going on? Tebla gasped suddenly as the boy walked past her window, pausing a moment to gaze at her intently. He walked on and stood in the yard, looking up. Tebla glanced across the way. The conversation continued, but quietly. What were they doing? Discussing the boy's price? What was the tall man holding under the table? A data recorder with the latest bids? A blaster? Tebla shuddered as the boy came back, smiling slightly. He entered the house and the tension broke. Zelle looked ready to cry. The entire party went into the sitting room, leaving Tebla to stare at their empty plates.

That had been hours ago, and now she was here, pretending to try to repair the tears in Axin's worn green bathrobe. Made from the old green towels, Axin was doing his darndest to make it Jedi brown. The little trip to the recycler had certainly helped. However, it was now also blue, purple, rust and brilliant yellow. And that was after washing it. What did her neighbors put in that thing? Tebla sighed.

Maybe she was just jumping to conclusions. Maybe she had misheard the boy. Maybe it was just a social visit. Maybe the man was Ield's colleague, or a distant cousin, or an insurance salesman. She had only seen him briefly, but in looking at his face, she had not seen the guile she thought necessary in a slave trader. He had almost radiated strength, calm, and kindness, once even taking Zelle's hand until it stopped trembling. The boy too, did not have the look she would imagine for a slave. Though he often bowed his head to the man she would swear he called "Master," he hadn't seemed cowed, or humbled. He seemed respectful, almost reverent. Tebla had never seen such behavior in a boy that age. In younger children, and in adults, but in a teenager? She could draw no conclusions; the evidence was baffling

 

I really like this Can't wait for more

 

Greeting again. Another post from me. More adults I'm afraid, but fear not. Axin always gets up early in the morning, even if I don't. Enjoy. Comments welcome.

***********************************************************************

[She does not want to hear what you have to say Master.] Qui-Gon mentally sighed.
[Yes Padawan, but she must. She must be prepared for what they both have to do.]
[You are going to tell them now?]
[Yes. We cannot wait for morning. To put off telling them will only cause her more anxiety.]
[She will run away again Master.]
[That is where you come in Padawan. She cannot avoid both of us.]
[Yes, Master.]

Four people now sat in the front room. One older and wise, one young and attentive, one anxious, one near panic. Qui-Gon began, knowing he would be cut off.

"I need to speak with both of you. It is very important that you hear-"

"I MUST CLEAN UP THE DISHES!" Zelle almost shrieked her announcement. Ield tried to console her.

"Zelle, darling. They have come a long way. They wouldn't have come if it wasn't important. You have to hear this." Ield reached for his wife's hand, but Zelle practically leaped to her feet, hugging herself to avoid his grasp.

"I don't have to hear it," she hissed under her breath. "I can't hear it." Her voice returned to the near shriek. "I MUST clean up the dishes." She turned and walked toward the kitchen, shaking, but set on her course. Her escape plan was made. She had committed herself to it. She could not turn back, and they could not change her mind. The Jedi master could not make her hear what she so refused. Still shaking, a small part of her savored her momentary triumph. She could not hear the Bad Things he would say. The Bad Things he had come to tell them did not exist, would not exist, and had never existed. She would never hear them. She would dodge him until he went all the way back to his stupid Temple. The Bad Things would never Be. Yes, she had won against the Jedi master and his tidings of Bad Things. She would never have to know. What could he possibly say now?

The Jedi master's words came with deadly swiftness. Like his legendary skill with a lightsabre, Qui-Gon's blow aimed true and shattered her defenses in a single blow.

"My Padawan will assist you."

No!

"Yes, Master." The boy's reply sent her heart to her throat.

No! There was no escape. No!

[She is afraid of us Master.]
[She is afraid of what news we bring with us Padawan.]
[She is frightened. She will not listen to me.]
[Listen to her Padawan. Perhaps then she won't be so afraid to listen to you.]
[Why will she hear me when she can't bear to hear you?]
[You are less of a threat. You weren't there.]
[Yes Master.]
[May the Force be with you Padawan.]
[And with you, Master.]

Obi-Wan followed Zelle into the kitchen.

 

So glad there are readers out there. Here is some more from Axin. Never stops adventuring. Feel free to make comments and suggestions. I read them all.

Thanks, AWK

***********************************************************************

"Twing-twing-twing-twing." Axin Muse, mighty Jedi was surrounded by evil enemies, but he was not afraid, oh no. "Twing-twing-TWANG." OH NO! There were too many of them! They were closing in! There were about twenty space pirates, at least! And right in front of him was the evil Sip. He was as big as Mr. Master, dressed all in black, and had giant eyes, glowing orange and green fangs. He was drooling, as if hungry to fight, but almost disappointed, knowing Axin wouldn't last long enough. He started to move back as the Sip advanced, but there was nowhere to go! The pirates had formed a ring around him. He wasn't going to escape this time! What would they do? Take away his lightsabre? Throw him in a cell, so he would never see his parents again? Make him eat vegetables and gwelt fish oil for the next thirty years? He backed up and felt something metal dig into his back. A blaster? Had the pirates behind him attacked? Barely able to take his eyes off the Sip, Axin looked over his shoulder. What was digging into his back?

It was Obee-one! Obee-one was here! They would fight off the pirates and the Sip together! Two Jedi against twenty space pirates and an evil Sip! They had to win for sure now! But wait! Oh no! Obee-one wasn't moving! The pirates had turned him off! Oh no! Axin whirled around. The Sip! It was getting closer! Axin whirled back and in one quick movement, yanked on Obee-one's cord, hoping turning him off was the only thing the pirates had done to him.

"Beep. Beep. Beep." Obee-one said, his eyes snapping open. "Ready to enter data."

Ready to enter data?

"Obee-one! Obee-one! We have to fight these space pirates and the evil Sip and get out of here! Queen Bauble is counting on us!"

"Accepting data." Obee-one lifted his lightsabre. It was blue and green like Axin's, but more neatly painted. Axin's was splotchy, but Obee-one's had a neat checkered pattern, like the trim on his mother's apron. He made a slight whirring sound.

"Now!" Axin whispered and both Jedi sprang into action. "Twing-TWANG-twing-twing-twing! Twang-TWING-twing-TWANG!!" Such amazing feats! The fantastic leaps! The lightning-fast twirls! OBee-one was fast, but Axin was faster. Together, they attacked the pirates, knocking out half of them in the blink of an eye. The other half ran off like wamps caught in the light, fearing the two Jedi's quick justice. In one united movement the Jedi turned to the evil Sip. Axin grinned at Obee-one.

"File full." File full? Axin turned to face the droid. Something dug into his arm.

"Beep. Beep. Beep. File full." What?

Axin woke up, groggy. It was still dark. He hadn't been sleeping long. The moon still shone on the Gantos's roof.

"Beep. Beep. Beep. File full." What was he laying on? His data recorder! There was a new file composed entirely of m's, q's and t's. There was also a fresh crease in his night vision goggles. He probably shouldn't have made them from cardboard. He brought them to his eyes. Blackness. Sigh. He'd have to make new ones in the morning. When was he going to learn not to sleep with his equipment? Axin looked out the window. The Gantos dining nook was dark. Faint light came from the direction of the sitting room and kitchen. Axin yawned. With a sigh, he turned off the data recorder, and dumped it with the goggles to the floor. Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

 

Man, I sure hope Axin runs into Obi-Wan and tries to turn him off by pulling on his Padawan braid

 

I can assure you JOWK, something like this is in store for Obee-one. Let us just say that we know you love Obi-torture, but this will not be of the usual sort. However, there is more boring plot and intrigue to get through first. Enjoy. Comments welcome and appreciated.

***********************************************************************

After a brief eternity, Zelle reached the kitchen and raised the lights. She could feel the boy coming, like a small, quiet storm. Or doom. She stiffened as he walked past into the nook to collect the dishes. Zelle had planned on bringing them in one by one, spoon by spoon if necessary. But then she would have heard, she realized. She would have to hear. There was a doorway but no door between the nook and the front room. No door to block out his voice. No door to keep Bad Things out. She wondered if the Jedi master was talking to Ield yet. She had thought her announcement would have left him speechless, (maybe he would give up and go away) but he hadn't even seemed fazed by it. He seemed to expect it, was almost prepared for it. What did he do, read her mind? . . . (Could he do that?)

Yes, he had started speaking again. Low. Quietly. Startled, Zelle realized she had been listening for him (not to him, not to the Bad Things) and she quickly turned on the water to drown out his murmuring. Slowly, the water began to get hot.

The boy came in, loaded down with serving plates and utensils, then left for the more delicate glassware. Two trips. He had brought everything in two trips. Curse you, Qui-Gon Jinn. Ha, she was not going to talk to him.

As soon as the water was hot and soapy, the boy started putting the plates and bowls in. Model efficiency. He would go too fast. She would hear the Bad Things.

"No!" Zelle snapped. The boy looked up in surprise, but didn't drop anything. Zelle would have. She looked at him. He was innocent. He didn't ask to be here. He was just doing what his wretched master told him to. She looked down at her shoes. Now she had to talk to him. But she didn't have to listen to him. "I will wash them. You can dry."

"Yes, madame." Yes? Madame? Does he say anything else? Yes this, yes that?

No! He doesn't! So he won't say the Bad Things!

The boy washed his hands and picked up a rag, waiting expectantly. For a long moment, Zelle let him wait, then slowly turned to the sink. She had tried her hardest to make the stickiest meal she could, one with a thick gravy which would have to be scrubbed off of dishes, and scoured off of pots. She could still taste some of it on her teeth. She would wash until dawn if she had to. She would not hear that wretched man. (But he will wait. The Jedi is patient, and determined). So am I.

After practically scouring every millimeter of the first bowl, she rinsed it and handed it to the boy. She would not talk to him. Jinn's plan would not work. He picked up the bowl and began drying it with equal slowness. The water could evaporate off it faster than that! Curse him again! He had taught his student well.

"Thank you for the meal Mrs. Gantos. You're a very fine cook."

What? No, . . wait. It wasn't a Bad Thing. He was just, . . being polite. She would have to answer him. She would have to be . . . polite back.

"You're, . . you're welcome. I'm glad you, . . enjoyed it." Carefully not looking at him, she handed him another bowl. He didn't say a word. "Don't they feed you at that Temple?"

"Yes, madame. But sometimes we only have rations in space. Not real food. Rations can be a little, . . boring." Real food. Rations. He wasn't talking about Bad Things. "Somehow they all taste the same." (He was talking about Bland Things.)

"Yes, . . rations are, . . bland." Her mind drifted. "Bland rations in space." He put down his bowl and she snapped out of it. She gave him plate, shuddering as she realized that the bowls were clean now, . . gone. He had put them away while he mind was drifting. She couldn't wash them again now.

"What do you use

 

Hey Alli-wan love the story! though I think it's had an effect on me. Last night I had a dream that my little cousin was a podracer and he got me to give him a hand, it was very cool too. anyway enough about weird stuff that happens to me.. kepp up the story!

 

Thank you Jedi-Green8. Sounds like a great dream. Reminds me of one I had once.

Sadly, I don't know when my next post will be. Tommorow I must go back there to a scary place with Bad Things. (No, not Coruscant, ) I'm headed back to grad school, so I won't be able to devote such TLC to my story. Still, we aren't starting class yet, so who knows? In the meantime, thank you everyone who has been commenting. I'll be back eventually.

Enjoy! --AWK

***********************************************************************

The sun rose early in the agricultural town. The people woke early too. The growing season was never long enough, and daylight spent indoors was daylight wasted. Farmers were early risers, and that necessitated a good night's sleep. But for many in the houses just past the garbage recycler, a good night's sleep seemed as far away as the moons. Or as far away as Coruscant had seemed the day before.

Putbil had gotten up before the sun. He was a farmer, body and soul. He had slept like an infant, then rose before the sun, heading for his fields. Sure, he worried about his neighbors, he liked Ield well enough, but he had worked hard all day, and had work to do for the next forty years. His worrying stopped the moment his head hit the pillow.

Tebla was awake when her husband got up and left. She had fallen asleep for a full ten minutes that night. The other seven hours and twenty minutes had been spent watching the minutes tick by on the bedside clock. Groaning in exhaustion, Tebla pulled herself out of bed to make breakfast. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she was surprised to find that after a night without sleep, she still looked better than Zelle had the night before. Company or no, Tebla was going over there today. No matter that Ield looked alright; something was definitely wrong and she wasn't about to let Zelle face it alone.

Axin got up with the sun. He had had a very exciting night. First, he had inresturgated the two strangers. True, his inresturgation had not turned up anything that wasn't obvious, but he had seen some interesting things. But doubts resurfaced. He still didn't know who Mr. Master was, or why he had liquor, or who Obee-one was. He didn't know if they were evil or not. And he had never seen a droid that looked so much like a person. (He didn't talk like a person.) He would just have to ask Mr. Gantos. Mr. Gantos had been EVERYWHERE! He had seen EVERYTHING! He would know if they made droids that were so much like real people. Plus, he had had such a great dream! Too bad his stupid data recorder had to be so lumpy and loud. He never got to finish the adventure. But oh, what an adventure it was! And what adventures he could have if only he could find Obee-one! Axin hoped he stayed awhile.

Mr. Gantos didn't get up early. He hadn't gone to bed. He had spent the whole night trying to talk to Zelle, who hadn't stopped crying since she left the kitchen. She fell asleep out of exhaustion, just before dawn. But she had stopped running. She sobbed, but quietly. She listened to him. She listened to Master Jinn's instructions. Then she cried after Master Jinn left to check on his apprentice and get some sleep. Strange one, that apprentice. He didn't know what the boy said to her, but for some reason she had listened to him. She let him tell her what she would have to face. Then she had listened to Master Jinn, a man she had prayed every night for years that she would never see again. She had seen reason. But she didn't say she would go back. She hadn't said that.

Feeling like a zombie, Ield walked out to the back porch and sat in the swing. The sun had yet to quite peek over the tall trees in his yard, but it lit the fields beyond. Both Jedi were already awake, meditating in the meadow past his fence. Timid kelps grazed nearby, unconcerned. (Maybe they weren't awake. Maybe that's how they did superhuman things. They were regular people who took catnaps all day and called it meditating. Maybe anyone who got that muc

 

Good luck at grad school Guess I'll just have to wait for the next post

 

Oh my Alli-Wan I love this story!
I don't like Zelle or Axin I LOVE them!
Keep it up the cuteness is entoxicating and I like it!

 

This is wonderful. I love it. Please keep it going.

 

Okay, so I didn't stay away too long. I survived two airplane flights, and there was no homework waiting for me in my mailbox. (Of course, my stipend check wasn't in there either, but there was an enormous dead bug in my apartment). You lose some, you lose some. However, as it is the weekend, and I don't know where any of the other grad students have run off to, I snag my free time on the computer when I can. And now that I'm not on Mom's computer, I CAN SPELL CHECK! Aren't you all thrilled? Well, enough about me. More . . .

******************************************************************************

Axin could sense the tension in his mother. Like most children, he was very perceptive. (Maybe that was the Force). It certainly wasn't like her to watch the clock and wash the teapot three times and drop eggshell into his breakfast. (He didn't mention it. He was a Jedi knight! He was tough! He could fish out his own eggshell and not be whiny about it. He really wasn't that much trouble now, was he?). It certainly was like her to keep an eye on the neighbors, however. She had been watching the Gantos's house since he had come down at sun up. She didn't let him go over there though.

"But I need to ask Mr. Gantos something. Pleeeeze, Mom?" Axin put on his best-little-boy-in-the-system face. The one with the dimples. Tebla didn't notice it. Axin scrunched harder, getting his eyes to crinkle. Tebla was too busy looking out the back window at Ield. (Oh, now Ield looked as bad as Tebla. Worse. Not as bad as Zelle. No, he looked as if he felt as bad as Zelle, but not for as long.) Axin gave up on the face.

"We'll go over there later Axin. It's too early now. Wait until the sun gets a little higher." No, it doesn't look like Ield is going to work today. The leonine man suddenly came into view, giving Tebla a polite nod as he passed on his way to speak with Ield. (How did he see me? ) "Who is that man?" Tebla wondered aloud, not realizing Axin had joined her at the window.

"Oh, that's Mr. Master. He's the man Obee-one called on his talker-thingy." Axin had never seen a talker-thingy so small before. "Can I get a talker-thingy too?"

"If we can find a talker-thing-- what?" Tebla stopped suddenly. It was dangerous to talk on autopilot with Axin. She thought back on what he had actually said.

"What do you mean, Mr. Master? And who's O-Bee-Wun?" She looked down at her son in confusion. She had heard that name before. Yes, something to thank him for. Or something.

"That's Mr. Master." Axin pointed to the tall man with an already grubby hand. (Why did he put his whole hand in his eggs?) Normally Tebla would have told him it was rude to point, but this was serious. What did her little boy know? "I was watching him with my night-vision goggles. I listened too. Obee-one called him "Master," so he must be Mr. Master. It would be rude to call him by his first name."

She had heard the boy say "Master." Tebla could think of a lot ruder things to call him.

"O-Bee-Wun?" she asked. Axin stood up on his toes, trying to get a better view.

"Him! That one over there." Axin pointed out past the fields where the boy was sitting all alone. Axin waved wildly, but the boy's back faced them. (Axin should know he wouldn't hear him). Did they always send him away when they had their little, . . haggling sessions, or whatever they were doing? He's not even playing, or talking to anybody! He's all alone-- in a cattle field. Sitting on the ground. Alone. Talking to no one. Looking at no one. With the feather-headed kelp. She looked back to (Mr. Mas-, no that wasn't right, that man) the tall man. How could a face that calm (that serene) and concerned-looking (now he was holding Ield's hand), that compassionate-looking, how could he own that young boy? How could he SELL him? It just didn't add up. And how could they both make Zelle so upset?

The sun was high enough. The shadows had begun to grow smaller as the sun began its journey in earnest and the yard filled

 

Alli-Wan forgot to thank you all for your comments and gracious compliments. [hangs head in shame and embarressement]. Alli-Wan now thanks you. Sorry, but the giant dead bug has just set her mind off a little bit. I am glad you are enjoying this story. Will most likely be back tommorow (no profs around on the weekend) but after Monday, it's anyone's guess. Thank you all very much! It's just so gratifying to know someone is reading out there. And go check out that Jedi X-mas Carol thread. It seems a little lonely, and it was hilarious!

 

hey Alli-wan.. I think I figured out how you became a Knight (after being a Padawan of course) I think once you do 50 or so posts you have the rank of Jdi Knight granted..so congrats to you too!

 

This is *so* cool! Maybe Obi-Wan can baby-sit Axin!

 

Hi again. A little more. Methinks JOWK is very strong in the Force. Either that, or she has sent spy droids into my brain. Hmm, not quite sure how that would work.

Enjoy!

******************************************************************************

Axin ran to his room to find his jacket. It was still a little chill out, but it wasn't so bad. Which one should he wear? His light coat was a bit too light, and his heavy coat was far too heavy. And too small. He would need a new one come winter. His father would not be pleased that he had already outgrown this one. New coats did not grow in chaffa fields, his father would say. Only chaffa and those blasted wamps. Of course, Putbil would not say "blasted;" he would pick a much better word he was not supposed to say in front of Axin. Then they would laugh a little at being naughty, and it wouldn't seem so bad. Putbil gave much better lectures than Queen Bauble. They were more exciting to hear.

Axin thought about what Obee-one had been wearing. He was wearing that long robe he had on at the recycler. Now in the daylight, Axin could see it was indeed brown. Wow! He had real Jedi brown robe to play games in! Maybe he had bought it. Axin would have to find out where. He hoped it wasn't somewhere offworld.

That's it! That's what he would wear! His green Jedi robe! His mother had finally fixed it this morning, after she had washed the teapot the second time. It was perfect! Then he and Obee-one could play games that very morning! Axin fairly wriggled in anticipation. What else would they need? Axin picked up his lightsabre.

"Twing." But he hadn't seen Obee-one with one. And Obee-one hadn't thought to use one at the recycler. He MUST not have one. Axin would just have to make him one. He still had some paint in the shed, and his mother wouldn't mind if he used another stake. She had a million of them.

"Axin, hurry up!"

Obee-one's lightsabre would just have to wait for later. Maybe they could just use the Force today. Maybe it would even work! Obee-one probably had a lot more practice. Maybe he would know what Axin was doing wrong.

"Axin!" Wow, Mom was worried. She hardly never yelled. Axin put down the lightsabre and grabbed his robe.

"Coming!"

 

Great story. Post more when you can.

 

We hit Page 2! Hurrah! Hurrah! (Okay, I'll stop now.)

Thanks JayaSolo! Brain keeps on churning. Plot keeps moving along. Here's a long one, but now I really must go home to bed!

*****************************************************************************

Tebla reached for the brass bell's pull. With all the noise and fuss Axin had made on the way over, she didn't think they would actually need it.

"We're back here Tebla." They didn't. Tebla left the bell unrung and walked around to the back. That tall (sedate) man was back there. Stiffening into what she hoped was politeness, Tebla firmly gripped the muffin basket in one arm and her son in the other.

"Now behave Axin," she whispered fiercely.

"Ow. Mo-om, not so ha-rd." Tebla released him, startled that she had gripped him so tightly. It was just, . . that man. She would not let, . . that man have her son. Oh, no.

" . . . we will go get it today," the man was saying. "After the traffic dies down. Obi-Wan can stay with Zelle. We'll be back soon enough." He looked up at Tebla and nodded politely. He didn't look like he had a blaster. (Very calm, too calm.)

Tebla tore herself away from, . . that man and faced Ield. "Zelle didn't seem well last night. I was worried she might be ill. (I was worried she might have a nervous breakdown). Is she here? (It's not as if she could be anywhere else.) I brought her some muffins to make her feel better." Somehow, muffins sounded like a hollow excuse for being there. (How could he look so calm? So calm when Zelle looked so terrified? When Ield looked so, . . guilty? Why would he be-) Tebla dismissed the thought as Ield spoke.

"Zelle is sleeping now. She had a, . . very, uh, rough night." Tebla nodded. She had seen. "But I'm sure she will want to see you when she gets up."

"You are very concerned for her." Tebla whipped her head around, like an animal spooked by a twig cracked underfoot. Something else's foot. That Man had spoken. "She will need a friend when she wakes up. You can do much good for her." His voice was so, . . reassuring, calming. How could that voice possibly scare Zelle so-

Axin! He was sneaking across the yard toward the older boy. Too far away.

"Axin! Come sit on the porch with Mr. Gantos." Grumbling, Axin came back. The boy still hadn't stirred from the spot he had been in when she had seen him from her window.

Tebla gripped the muffin basket to her chest and turned back to Ield.

"Let me put these in the kitchen for you Ield. I promise, I won't disturb Zelle." Ield opened his mouth to protest.

"No, you won't disturb her." It was That Man again. How did he know? "She is sleeping deeply." Did he decide when people slept too?

"Just don't be too loud." Ield sighed. "She fell asleep on the couch."

"I won't be." Tebla whispered. She went through the back door into the kitchen. She could feel That Man's (kindly) eyes on her as she went. He had been smiling slightly. Smugly. (Encouragingly).

The whole house was eerily quiet. And dim. All the shades had been drawn, and with the windows mostly shut, the air was a little stuffy. Outside, Tebla could hear Axin asking Mr. Gantos more questions. She didn't want to subject him to an Axin-interrogation, but she had other things on her mind. She put the basket on the counter. Tebla looked around. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Except Zelle's prized wine goblets sat on the counter. They sparkled in the little light let in between the kitchen curtains. They were beautiful. Antiques. Almost priceless. Zelle guarded them like children. It was not like her to leave them out; they should be nestled in that velvet-lined case. That old wood one, so old it looked smoke-damaged.

"No." Zelle! Tebla crept silently to the sitting room. Tebla lay on the couch; she had kicked off the woven blanket Ield must have draped over her. She was talking in her sleep, dreaming.

"No! . . wretched, . . no." Tebla reached out, stroking her friend's forehead. Her face was still tear-stained.

"S

 

[ claps hands loudly] Keep going Alli-Wan It's so very good!

 

Man, I wish I was strong in the Force.

Great job! This is really interesting to see Jedi from another perspective. Obi-Wan as a slave...or a droid Go Axin!

 

Great story. Keep it coming.

 

I love this!! I know Grad school is an important thing, but please try to keep this story going. You will get much good Karma for continuing.

You have now officially bowled me over with your talent.

 

Alli-Wan blushes from compliments. She also spreads good news. Silly Alli-Wan thought classes start this week. Classes start next week. Silly Jedi knight! There will be more! Hurrah! Alli-Wan can use all the good karma she can get!

Thank you all for the comments and encouragement. It is wonderful to know you enjoy my humble offerings. Here is more from Axin. Thank you again. --AWK

******************************************************************************

Axin sat down on the porch steps looking up at Mr. Gantos. Sometimes Queen Bauble just never let him have any fun! What was she afraid of? Obee-one? The kelps? Getting lost? It was a kelp field! It was flat! He could go all the way to the other side (which he wasn't supposed to do, but had done once, on a dare) and you could still see his house from there. You could only get lost in the kelp field if you were blindfolded, and even that would be tough. He wanted to play with Obee-one! Axin looked across the yard, past the trees. Obee-one was still there, where he had been before, his back to the house. He never moved. He never fidgeted. "He must be powered down," Axin thought. Who would turn him off? Was it space pirates?

No! Mr. Master! Mr. Master must have turned him off to let his batteries recharge or something. Obee-one was in the sunny field; maybe he was solar powered! Wow! Oh the things they could do with droids these days!

Axin turned to study Mr. Master. He still didn't KNOW if Obee-one and Mr. Master were evil or not. Scolding himself for not starting his investigation sooner, (he had never seen Mr. Master this close before), Axin openly stared. Mr. Master was not wearing the same clothes he had on the night before (though Obee-one was. Axin guessed droids didn't have to take as many baths). Instead, he was wearing clothes Axin could have sworn were Mr. Gantos's. Yes, he remembered the black pants and green tunic Mr. Gantos used to wear before he and Mrs. Gantos went on that "all-chaffa" diet thing. The clothes had looked silly on Mr. Gantos after the diet thing (they were too big,) but they seemed to suit Mr. Master just fine. Mr. Master was bigger than Mr. Gantos, but not fat big. Axin tilted his head, pondering this. He was just, well, big. His hand looked as big as a spade; his wrist seemed larger than most of Axin's leg. No, he just couldn't be a farmer. He looked strong enough to wrestle a bull kelp! And win too! During the spring even!

Mr. Master wasn't wearing anything to give Axin any clues. Not his own clothes. Not even his really cool belt. Axin was disappointed. He had really wanted to see what else was on it. But Mr. Master did have something in his pockets, and he had a talker-thingy just like Obee-one's clipped to the Fat Mr. Gantos belt around his waist. He looked up at Mr. Master's face and was surprised to find Mr. Master was looking at him. Axin smiled, hoping he hadn't seemed like the inresturgator he was.

"Good morning!" Axin deepened his grin.

"Good morning young man." The man smiled slightly. His face didn't seem evil. He seemed, . . . nice. Big and nice. Serious, but . . nice.

"You're the man Obee-one called on his talker-thingy." The man seemed to ponder this for a moment.

"Yes. You must be the young man Obi-Wan (he paused, emphasizing the last syllable) helped at the recycler." Mr. Master had a little accent too, but not the same as Obee-one's. He said his "one's" funny. "You were very brave, but you must take care. It can be perilous to talk to strangers. You were lucky you were found by Obi-Wan and not someone dangerous."

"Yes, I was lucky. Not even Mr. Gantos could stretch as far as Obee-one. But I wasn't so brave."

"You were afraid." It wasn't a question, but Axin answered.

"Yes. I thought I would never get it out, and Mom would be mad. Plus there was the monster."

"Fear leads to anger. That is of the Dark Side. You must learn to be calm. It is often too difficult to find a solution when fear and anger cloud the mind." Axin thou

 

Very cute.

 

Thanks! Wow, the tension just keeps building. I guess that's why I had to write more tonight!

Enjoy!

******************************************************************************

Tebla came out onto the porch, mustering all her strength and will to keep her from screaming at That Man. At Ield. Even at the boy. All of them for doing this to Zelle. Whatever they were doing. She didn't know what; her brain could only form that single hypothesis, but she looked at That Man's face (guileless, compassionate face) and her truth just didn't make sense. "Who was he?" he brain screamed. "What did he want from them?" "Why is Zelle so frightened?" "Why isn't he?"

"Fear is of the Dark Side."

What?

"You have no reason to fear me."

How did he know-

"I think we should all have a little talk Ield. She will be calmer when she knows what is going on here."

What's going on here-

"Do you think it's, . . it's safe. To, . . to tell her?" Ield. Ield looked guilty. Afraid.

Tell her what? Tell me what?

"Her suspicions may prove more dangerous to you than the truth."

Danger. Truth.

Tebla had grown very pale. Her heart was pounding and her brain was racing (in circles). What truth?

"Axin, why don't you go play with Obi-Wan for now. I'm sure you both can find something to do."

Obi-Wan. The boy. Still in the kelp field. Alone. No.

"No!" Her own voice sounded strange (was that me?), but once she found it, she grabbed onto it, desperate not to lose it again.

"No, Axin, I think you should stay here."

"Tebla, it will be alright, we just need to have, . . an adult conversation. Axin will be fine with Obi-Wan. He's a very mature and responsible boy." Ield spoke again. Frightened, guilty Ield.

Mature. I'll bet.

"No." Tebla grabbed Axin's hand and backed up. That Man raised his hand, about to speak, then seemed to change his mind when he saw Tebla's eyes widen in fear. He lowered his hand.

"You have nothing to fear from me. But Zelle will need support that I cannot give her. She needs a friend, and she will not accept friendship from me. Zelle needs you." He seemed so, . . honest. Caring. Genuinely pained that he could not relieve Zelle's fear.

You have nothing to fear from me.

"Mom? Can I have an Obee-one for my birthday?"

"AXIN!" The world stopped. The older boy twitched, but no one noticed. All eyes had focused on the little boy in the green bathrobe. What had That Man been telling him? Tebla glanced at Ield, then fell into a chair, mortified. Stupified. Ield glanced back, clearly mystified. That Man glanced down at Axin, clearly amused.

"Why don't you go try mine out while we talk to your mother. He took a little getting used to before I decided to keep him." That Man gently guided Axin off the porch and pointed him toward the boy. Obi-Wan. Still there. In the field. Alone. Tebla opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Axin had stopped to stare at Obi-Wan. Out of earshot. Away.

He's a very mature and responsible boy.

"I don't think you have been properly introduced Tebla." Ield's voice. She faced him, wordlessly.

"This is Tebla Muse, our next door neighbor. She is probably Zelle's best friend. That's why she's the only one so worried about her." They were standing over her. Tebla heard a distant pounding. Her heart?

That Man suddenly kneeled down to her level to take her hand. Calm. So calm. Serene. She could feel his calm, his strength, but she didn't know how. Or why.

"And this is someone we know from a long time ago. Before we moved here." Ield continued, almost reluctantly. Afraid. Pained.

"This is Qui-Gon Jinn, . . ."

". . . Jedi Master."